Gay and ashamed

Lots of people with faith are gay. Is there someone with your type of experience that you could reach out to?

>>18708743
You need to get away from your religion in the long run. If they would "never treat you the same again" over falling in love, they are stopping your growth and you need to move on from them. More gradual change might be easier, but I personally think that getting a great boyfriend is also a good way to do that

>>18708758
I was thinking of going to my church for help but that won't be a unbiased answer. Problem is a lot of my college friends are all hyper liberal so they'll say yes anyway, it's hard to find someone who can help ya know?
>>18708842
I've had the moral teachings of the church ground and guide me for so long, it feels like a betrayal not only to God but also the people that helped bring me up make me a gentle, caring person. It's just a difficult situation that I'm stuck in the middle of I suppose.

I always liked the notion of love colliding with ethics. I have no advice for you since there is no right answer but I have no doubt you'll learn something about yourself and grow up as a person.

t. sperg

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>>18708743
Dude, if homosexuality was a choice then Oscar Wilde wouldn't of suffered and died from hard labor in prison. You are what you are. God is love, god is acceptance, god is forgiveness. If religion hasn't taught you that then you need a better teacher. You are still moral, you're not hurting anyone or inflicting pain. Those who say you'll feel gods wraith or god is judgement only want to punish and control. That's old testament shit. You be you, god made you that way and if he made you wrong then what does that say about him? Sorry, i feel like i'm manipulating you a bit on the last bit. I don't believe in religion personally because it's like splitting hairs, i believe and love god and he's more a broad strokes kinda guy, the devil is in the details :). So you be you and be happy because i'm sure that's all god wants.

>>18708743
Your problem is not being gay. Your problem is having guilt feelings about maybe being gay.

Don't do anything sexual until you sort those feelings out. Go to a lot of sources for advice - your priest, the university LGBT association, a school advisor, any older people you respect.

Deal with it as a theoretical question, not a personal one. If you come to the conclusion that anyone being gay does not automatically mean damnation, then you'll be better able to face the (still undecided) question of whether you are gay. If the result of your thinking is still that homosexuality is evil, you will at least have a base from which to face your own case.

>>18708927
I was thinking perhaps you could talk with someone within a chuch slightly more liberal than your own just to hear their point of view. There is a lis of gay friendly catholic Parishes at http://www.newwaysministry.org/GFP.html (I'm with your friends, you could do the gay thing all day long and I'd be happy for you, so I probably don't really understand what you're going thru).

Fuck these fags op, stop being gay. Bang women and live a happy life.

>>18708743
Watch Six Feet Under. It's a great series and one of the main storylines is about a gay man who's religious at the same time.

Also this: the pope himself loves you and accepts you. Remember that, fuck what your parents or local cult leaders say.

>>18708743
It took becoming a staunch conservative to realize I was gay. Try /logcabin/ on 8ch. You dont need to be a flaming faggot, you dont need to be polygamous, you can apply the stoic teachings of your faith to your relationship, and try your hardest to counteract your "sin" in the good deeds you do. Good luck.

Homosexuality is a mental illness. Just like people in certain circumstances can develop PTSD, anxiety, or depression, one can develop homosexuality. The fact that it's more popular and accepted now that any point in history just makes it more likely that you'll jump to that as the "solution" to what ails you. Examine your life and try to find out what lack of fulfillment is pushing you to considering homosexuality. Is it that you are lonely but haven't found girls worthy? Is it that you don't know what purpose your life is serving? Once you find that answer, paradoxically, I think the best thing to do is not think about it and devote yourself to something else, whether that be your studies, a hobby, or something else. These things improve your mental health, and as time passes, you'll become stronger and no longer conflicted over homosexuality. Good luck, OP.

>>18709039
Thanks, I'll give it a look
>>18709004
Growing up I used to think gay people weren't inherinetly evil, since we are all born with sin after all just that them being gay was their manifestation of sin. It's an interesting point you make along with >>18709335, I'll try synthesise my theology with philosophy and see what I can get out of it.
>>18708987
I'm coming from a place where picking and choosing from the bible isn't appreciated, that being said there are some rules in there that none of us follow so I'll bring these points up at my church as see what I get, thanks. >>18710005
That has been the plan so far, I've been throwing myself into my studies and have been able the achieve good grades. I do have to disagree with you on the choosing aspect however, while I don't doubt some people choose to be like this for attention or some other desire I haven't actively pursed this in the slightest. If I cannot find a solution to my conflict I believe I will just isolate myself sexually and focus on work. Thank you for your kind words.

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>>18710005
You're a sheltered idiot. Seriously i think you can get a sticker.
>>18710040
It pains me to read this OP, really. I've known people in your position. One person tried to convince himself he was no longer gay, that he could 'pray the gay away'. He did this till his mid 40's then hard a nervous breakdown and killed himself. Another did something similar but got into heavy drugs, ended up in a mental hospital due to drug related psychosis.
I'm not gay, I have gay friends and I've worked at suicide hotlines before, I've heard many a story where a gay person couldn't accept who they were because their family/religion/community could never accept who they are. Well to be frank that's their problem, yours is accepting who you are, that you can't change it, if you are indeed gay. You would rather put your head down and choose what other people think of you over your own personal happiness. That's conditioning. You have a right to be happy, to fall in love, god is love ffs. You're not going against god, you're going against what people think you should be. We are diverse by nature, god made us this way. You will never be happy unless you accept who you are, life will move along but it will be dull, devoid of vibrancy. You can't substitute this with work, religion, community. It's like replacing your heart with a battery. Good luck I hope you find the courage to accept yourself even if others won't.

>>18708743
You can't help your feelings, but don't delude yourself and think that you can still be Catholic and take it up the ass.
I'd say to go ahead with your relationship, and stick to other aspects of Christian morality, but don't create unnecessary cognitive dissonance by pretending to be something you're not.

>>18710040
> there are some rules in there that none of us follow
Generally speaking, Old Testament rules are to be taken with a grain of salt. They have been revised many times, given that the Jews' God is a massive prick. Some of the basic tenets still make sense, though, because of their relevance.

Coming from another Catholic anon here, it's only a sin if you ACT on those feelings. If you have, go to confession. And don't leave the faith, mate. TRUST ME. You'll be lost and wandering for ages. Perhaps this is a call to be a priest or a brother. Pray about it, and don't let ANYONE convince you to leave. We've lost too many already.

>>18710992
This is really insightful and kind, thank you. I realise that I may be happier if I go down the route of just accepting it and moving on but my faith has been a massive component of who I am and I'm afraid to loose that and the community I had. It seems I might get a lot out of speaking with a councillor or therapist about this whole issue.
>>18711009
That's the last thing I want to do. I know very well that the two lifestyles are incompatible entirely and don't want to offend my church by pretending I am one of them if I stray.
>>18711065
>you'll be lost and wondering for ages
That's what I'm scared of, I don't want to turn my back on God after all these years but I also feel lost and alone right now. Everyone has their partner and are off together with little time for their single friends. Over the years I've always been sitting on the side on my own wanting someone to come along. Unfortunately I didn't think about the problems he would present to my faith and devotion.
>>18711017
The whole gay rule seems to be a biggie if you ask me. For good reason as well, I cannot stand the flamboyant attitude and public sex that all too many engage in, it's non conducive to a stable society. In fact that type of behaviour makes us no better than Sodom and Gomorrah. I'm glad that my friend seems to be normal acting and actually dislikes that stuff too.

>>18711993
>For good reason as well, I cannot stand the flamboyant attitude and public sex that all too many engage in
if a heterosexual person engages in it would you accept that? if you just answered no doesnt that mean that theres nothing wrong with being gay?

Your religion is such bullshit it really doesn't matter what you do, you could even rape and kill children but as long as you ask god for forgiveness in the end, you will be.

>>18708743
I'm catholic and I'll tell you how I see it.

Christians believe that no one is free of sin. Everyone sins. That's why you confesss once in a while. The key is to never let sin overcome your life. People get divorced, people live together outside marriage, etc. Yet they still go to church, pray etc. They don't partake in communion, but they are still Christians, God's children. Being gay and living with someone is no bigger sin than being straight and living with someone outside marriage. As long as it's out of genuine love, not physical desire then who's to say it's wrong. I don't condone sleeping around, acting purely out of desire and pleasure, but I don't accept this in both gay people and straight people. The sin here is lust and selfishness, not homosexuality. Be a decent human being.

>>18712101
Both will burn

Food for thought: Christian morality depends on the person and their personal interpretation of the teachings. Some are more liberal and others more strict.

Why do you have to follow moral codes that, in the end, are subjective? Who's to say you can't interpret the teachings in your own, personal way too?

>>18712110
>He thinks hell is an actual place and not just the state of self-denial of God's all encompassing love

>>18712110
the Bible doesn't speak all that kindly about people who try to do God's job for him, either. It's not your place to judge who "burns" and who doesn't.

>>18708927
you can be a gentle, caring person while still being an atheist
Becoming an atheist won't make you a selfish monster

gays with family values are emerging nowadays (see the rise of right wing lgbt movements). you can get exactly what you want if you try hard enough. find a decent guy who wants you and you only. you can even have a biological child with your husband eventually. http://www.nature.com/news/rudimentary-egg-and-sperm-cells-made-from-stem-cells-1.16636