Dating in your 30s?

>>18708612

Why'd the advice be any different whether you've dated or not? The same principles apply.

>>18708617

well wouldn't having experience matter or not?

>>18708641
Having no experience in your 20s or 30s is the same thing. In your 30s you will also get up to speed faster and find it easier.

35 year old male here

Its a waste of time. Younger women are flighty and are spoilt for choice with Chads begging for their pussies. And nearly all single women post-30 are a mess. They are desperate but still with very high standards (mainly financial). Online dating is a soul crushing experience unless you are rich/Chad. Women want it all; looks, money, confidence, experience, emotional stability, adventurousness. If you are a 30+ male with no relationship experience its going to be nigh on impossible to find any half decent looking and sane woman that will take you. Only damaged whales and single mothers will take a chance on you

I have simply come to accept it as part and parcel of the times in which we live. I'm not going to run off to Asia and become and sexpat, I'll simply be single forever

>>18708651

Why is that?

From everything I'm reading, it all mentions "you have experience, you know how you are in a relationship and what you want. So does she"

I literally don't know jack shit. I've only touched a pussy once in my life. I've never held hands, never cuddled, and don't really know how to kiss..

>>18708663
I think anon is telling you to read dating guides about people who lack experience that don't mention age

>>18708659

See that's what I thought. I read probably at least 6 different guides. Every single one just assumed the reader had previous experiences. I guess because if you don't, you're too far behind the learning curve?

>>18708671

Well, the reason age matters to me is I don't want to be in the little league going up to bat against a major league player..

>>18708659
You're a /r9k/ tier piece of garbage. Stop trying to give "advice". You obviously have zero experience about women.

>>18708678
You missed the point. You will be "against" people who are more experienced if your experience is 0, that's for sure. So instead for looking for guides about dating in your 30s, look for guides for dating when you have 0 experience. The latter ones don't have a specified age, because one way or another you'll be entering with less experience than the rest

>>18708784

Oh. I'm just trying to figure out if it's even worth it to start dating now that I'm 30. Is there even anything to gain? I keep seeing that "be open minded to women with kids".. "be open minded to divorcees" shit like that. I guess it's too late for me to find a nice single woman who doesn't have serious baggage at my age?

>>18708803
It's going to be harder, that's for sure. You could always try younger girls of course. In either case, whether it's worth it is a judgement only you can make. Some people really want companionship and would take even a woman with baggage in your place, some are risk takers would keep trying and hoping they get lucky and some are alright on their own and would just give up and save time and money. Only you can decide what is important to you

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>>18708612
Look, you ever had friends who were girls? You talk to women at work? There's your fucking experience. Just talk to women. The check out chick, the door knocker, neighbor, fucking whatever. It's easier than men, women carry 80% of the conversation ffs. Sorry maybe i'm being a bit harsh. Men see dating as this big project, woo the woman, satisfy her, tick the boxes and you'll get inside her box. Woman don't see it that way, it's all about empathy, emotional attachment. Security comes before comfort. They first want to make sure you're not going to fuck them over, literally. Then comes the intimacy and for woman emotional intimacy is more important than physical. Men get into relationships to fuck. Women fuck to get into relationships.
Just talk, that's 80% of dating. The whole, provider bullshit comes way down the line, baby steps dude, baby steps.

>>18708810

>You could always try younger girls of course

I don't even know how to go about that. I'm a pretty active person, but I still rarely run into girls my age. So I don't even know how to meet girls younger

>Some people really want companionship and would take even a woman with baggage in your place

Yeah I'd absolutely never do that. I just made his thread out of curiosity. But I am prepared to just live alone the rest of my life. I've already accepted that as a likely hood, and it's ok. But sometimes I wonder

>>18708813

I know a few girls. Although they live abroad. But we do keep up regularly via WhatsApp and Skype.

Articles like that are pulp. They're written by the same autistic bloggers that frequent 4chan. So they try to get their inner Carrie Bradshaw on and write witty commentary.

You need to learn to take everything in this life with a grain of salt. Sure, you don't have experience, but passing anybody on the street, can you tell what their experience is? No. You can't. And they can't tell yours.

There is literally no difference between dating in your teens, 20s, 30s, and so on.

You pursue a girl. Get her to go out with you. Bump uglies. And go from their. The only difference is that instead of meeting at the mall or mcdonalds, you're probably going to meet for drinks. Unless you don't drink, then meet somewhere like the mall or a public park, or here is one! go on a gym date. Work out together. That would be exciting. Maybe bowling, too. Miniature golf might be cute.

Ask her what her favorite romantic comedy date cliches are, and choose one to go to.

I don't see what your problem is. You're making a mountain out of a molehill.

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>>18708803
You're only 30? Fucking hell that's the new 25. Relax. I'm almost a decade older and the last 2 girlfriends were 26 and 22. Granted the 22 year old was purely physical but she thought I was 33. The 26 year old knew my actual age and it didn't faze her one bit. Get out there, dating is a numbers game.

>>18708824

>You pursue a girl. Get her to go out with you. Bump uglies

Everything in between each of those statements is what is confusing to me

>>18708831

"I've really been enjoying talking with you. Would you like to do [insert activity] with me this weekend?

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>>18708821
Then you're doing better than me, I can't hold a convo unless it's face to face. Don't give up, seriously, 30? What I wouldn't give to be 30 and single again.

>>18708827

Man, I'm 27 and can still pick up 18 year olds. shit is wild. All these girls have a daddy kink nowadays, or have no moral compass.

>>18708612

People on /adv/ do have this optimism bias, moralistic bias.

A lack of relationship experience for someone past 30 is a serious problem, and it's a structural problem. It is also probably not an isolated issue. OP also (probably) lacks many close friends, he lacks a robust social media presence and a large range of acquaintances. These things aren't just a matter of 'virtue alone'. If OP stopped being an anxious spastic and stopped being so aloof, that would do him a lot of good, but life as a social pariah is actually really hard. It's not something that can be willed away with 'positive vibes', the problem is just as much a matter of life experience and personal history. Social 'capital', it isn't just about how you seem or how you act

t. 23 yo former neet who is having a hell of a time reintegrating into society

>>18708835

Meeting girls irl is the problem. I'm an active person, I have a lot of things I do. But none of them are things where girls can be found. Everyone has told me "one day a girl will appear in your life when you least expect it". So if there is any truth to that, then there is no reason for me to specifically go out of my way to look for girls. I already enjoy the things I do.

>>18708837

Where do you meet them?

Don't say Tinder

>>18708843

OP here. You're wrong about most of your assumptions.

I don't have "many" close friends. But I do have a very tight group I've known for years. I'm not a social spastic, as i have 43 co-workers and I get along with everyone one of them, and and converse with them easily. Job interviews and oral exams I've taken for work and education have always gone well.

I just don't know shit about dating, sex, and relationships.

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>>18708843
mountains out of molehills. There is no problem too large you just need the will to overcome. Practice makes perfect, insert other cliches blah blah blah stop being so fucking judgmental you're still a kid.
>>18708845
Go for a walk, go shopping I don't know if you've noticed this but women are fucking everywhere. Women are naturally more social than men, to us going up to them is a big deal, to them it's been 15 minutes. This 'least expect it' relates to girls who were friends first, otherwise you need to initiate. It's a social expectation. The amount of woman who have asked me out have been 2, in my whole life. The amount of woman who stand near me, flick their hair and pretend like they've got nothing to do so I talk to them first is another factor above entirely. A woman will make it clear early on she's not interested, otherwise it's platonic socialization with the potential of getting to know each other further. Like dogs sniffing buts.

>>18708872

>Go for a walk, go shopping I don't know if you've noticed this but women are fucking everywhere

I think that really depends on where you live. I go walking regularly. But where I live is nothing but families. Yeah I sometimes see decent looking women walking or running around my neighborhood. But they are married. Same when I go to the gym. There are already very very few women that go to my gym, but the few I've seen are married and working out with their husbands.

>>18708843
Your robust social media presence can suck my dick. Cancer.

>>18708885
Then expand your search. Bars are cliche but they're better than nightclubs. City centers are good, financial districts as well. I like museums and art galleries but that's because i'm a philosopher at heart. Live gigs are amazing, if a woman likes the same music as me I can fall in love right there and there. If you're 30 then even hanging around universities isn't that creepy, just make sure you have a backstory lol. I don't know if you live in a city, town whatever but as long as everyone isn't related i'm sure there are places where people congregate.

>>18708902

I know you're going to say I'm so negative. But I'm honestly not interested in any of the things you listed.

For me to start going to bars, concerts or going to a Uni campus.. that would just feel so fake and forced

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>>18708918
It's a means to an end. You think girls like going to bars and getting gawked at? They are there to meet people, like guys. Otherwise it's social media and that is more a crapshoot. Seriously I don't know how a woman does tinder, I'd assume everyone is a rapist and I'm a nice guy.
You said your interests aren't really social. Therefore you must go outside your initial interests. Honestly you're finding excuses, I know it's hard. You think at your age, trying something new is going to be harder than the average joe. Dating is always hard, unless you're an idiot, seriously it's like their dicks just take over. But it's worth it, there is no such thing as 'the one' but to fall in love? It's like finding a new color that paints the world in a different light. We are social creatures at heart and sharing experiences is more gratifying than you realize.

>>18708942

that kind of discourages me