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Met girl of my dreams. Been dating for 3 months long distance (300 miles - 4-5 hour drive away). For reasons she can't control, she temporarily can't drive so I've been doing the drives.
Been feeling doubt with our relationship. I'm moving even further away for school so we'll have to meet in the middle or fly to each other.
Feel like even though she's amazing in every way, I need to focus on school and my career because I'm only going to be in school for a couple more years.
What do I do? I feel like i've already made up my mind and I feel like an asshole. She's really sweet, kind, loving, smart, and gorgeous but we can't even meet up regularly because her dad is paying for her college and he doesn't want her to lose focus so she has to sneak around just to see me when I do the 4-5 hour drive to see her.
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LDR hardly ever work out for that reason
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>>18707917
I just feel like such an asshole. Like I made all these promises like an idiot but now I'm backing out. She's so sweet like it pains me to even think about how she feels if we break up.
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>>18707922
tell her you aren't capable of maintaining a relationship over that huge of a distance given your circumstances. It's not fair to you or her, it's just the way things are
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>>18707926
Okay. What do I say if she cries and says something like "but you said..."?
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Did the relationship start as long distance? My current one did, I'm at a point similar to yours, and I'm wondering what to do about it too.
When you're long distance, the implicit expectation is that you will be physically together in the near future. But you're moving further away and want to focus on your school/career, so how does that check with her and your expectations? Have you ever been able to talk about that?
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>>18707929
Yes we did start long distance.
Thing is, she wants me to move to where she is after I graduate. I personally don't know where I'll get a job when I graduate. She says she wants to move to wherever I go but the thing is I really wanna focus on school and I know that if I stay in this relationship, I'll have to sacrifice a lot of social life, events, etc.
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>>18707928
You gotta suck it up
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>>18707946
Am I making a shitty decision?
Like am i being a pussy by not trying and just focusing on my career?
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>>18707936
>Thing is, she wants me to move to where she is after I graduate
Is that a deal breaker for you? Especially since you're set right now on your career. I don't think you can force anyone to predetermine their future around you unless they choose to do so themself. And that goes both ways here.
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>>18707948
you're doing what you think is right for you, and freeing her to search for someone who can provide the intimacy and contact that is necessary for a fulfilling relationship. LDRs can work, but often aren't the right decision, especially given the circumstances you've told us
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Thats a fucking dog dude
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