Self destructive

literally just enslave a nigger! That way you can beat someone else and to you.:)

I was able to beat most of my bad habits by replacing them with excessive drinking and smoking

So uh, not the best of routes. I'd recommend therapy, in hindsight.

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>>18707506
Luckily, smoking and drinking are part of my bad habits and I'm pretty opposed to them.

As far as therapy goes I'm a poorfag and can't afford that. And all a therapist is going to do is charge me a shitload of money and throw some anti-depressants at me

>>18707504
Sounds like you have a safety net. You should probably move away from whatever situation (or person) who is enabling your behavior. Move somewhere and put yourself in a sink or swim situation. Nothing gets you out of this cycle of behavior like the possibility of being homeless, or going hungry.

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>>18707511
The only person enabling me to do these things is myself. As far as moving away goes I'm kind of trapped right now. I want to move out and get my own place but I owe a lot of money in bills. I'm paying out pocket for school right now as well. Working full time and going to school full time.

I basically just lose all my energy or drive to do ANYTHING once I get off work or school. For example, I have a shift coming up next week that's screwed up. It has me scheduled to work during the time I'm in school. I've known about it for two weeks but haven't mentioned it to my manager. I keep failing to pay my bills and have had my car insurance cancelled twice.

I once put the check into the envelope, had it stamped and left on the table next to the front door and just let it sit there instead of walking it down to mailbox.

My room is a mess. I'm extremely unorganized and unmotivated in all capacities. The only thing I have going for me is that I'm working full time and taking any opportunity to get Overtime and pick up hours in order to make more money to wipe this debt clean.

But I keep spending money on stupid shit and fast food and whatnot instead of just saving my money and living cheap for a few months so I don't know how much progress I'm making.

>>18707504
jesus christ i feel you there.

I smoke too much weed, and every once in a while binge in "real drugs".

Its nothing that's fucked up my life "yet" (sometimes i go months, maybe years without, i find them too dirty to do enough to get addicted)

But i cant shake my fucking head out of this "i'm doing good `nuff mindset"

the sad thing is, no one would expect it, i work a rather nice 9-5 IT job, and look rather presentable.

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>>18707549
Yeah, I hold it together fairly well. I don't think any suspects that I engage in so many self destructive tendencies and am generally just disgusted with myself 24/7.

I just want to actually have it all together underneath and not be ashamed of my decisions.