tired of life beating my ass. how do I make it stop?

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Join life's side. Stop fighting against it:

Even when you do something don't count on success. Accept failure.

>>18703180
Kill yourself, but in an individual manner.
Let me explain: hating your life has very much to do with who you are.
Kill that self and change.

Let me expand with words from a more poetic source:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIO4j4ze8Nc

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>>18703193

This, the TL;DR of life is literally accepting what is, because it's already happening, and letting go of what had happened, because it's already over. Ignore the future, because it will come when it's time.