How to never think about sex

Try couples therapy.

>>18702892
She refuses any therapy because she says nothing is wrong.

>>18702897
Something is clearly wrong.

Tell her how much her lack of affection is bothering you and if she won't make any effort then... I'm not sure what there is to do.

make her jealous by getting a blowup doll. say how much you like the blowup doll. how the blowup doll takes care of your needs

>>18702906
It's been 4 years of this. I've told her multiple times how it makes me feel.

>>18702909
No.

>>18702897
Your needs aren't being met, therefore something is wrong from your perspective. She's being very uncaring if she isn't willing to at least try addressing this with you through therapy. If you love each other, those are the things you have to do. Sounds like there's an issue that needs addressing here, maybe something she doesn't want to have to say. Sounds like a shitty situation, hope you get through it anon

>>18702909
LOL.

>>18702889
How long has this been going on? You're going to start resenting her. You're working your ass off to make her life easier and she can't even let you take a dip?

I am biased though, my boyfriend is pretty much non sexual nowadays and it doesn't jive with me. At least I'm not married to a low lobido though.

>>18702914
She obviously doesn't love me anymore, but rather what I can give her.
We are not rich, but she doesn't have to do anything. She can't cook, I have to wake up and get my kid ready every morning, she sleeps in until 10 which is fine, I get to spend time with my kid. I work nights, so after she wakes up and get ready I go to bed.

I have had multiple chances to cheat but that's horseshit. I said my vows and I meant them. I just want to erase my need for sex and closeness.

>>18702926
Started before the kid was even conceived. 5 or so years out of a 7 year marriage.

>>18702938
Hunny.
Oh hunny.

That's toxic. She doesn't love you, she sucks your blood dry... you have to take care of yourself and love yourself. Honestly sounds like you're headed towards a divorce - and having 0 sexual desire won't fix it. Like. Get divorced, damn. It's not working.

OP, I'm going through something like that myself and reading up on other people with that problem helped me bring it up in a way my loved one can understand and start a dialog.

Read up on these, but take the LEAVE YOUR WIFE IMMEDIATELY bitter posts with a grain of salt: https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadBedrooms/top/

>>18702969
It sounds like more than a dead bedroom problem, let's be honest.

>>18702973
It always is. The thing is, fixing major one thing and establishing dialog ways could make a world of difference.

>>18702889
Marriage is a partnership. 50/50. She ain't holding up her 50. She ain't even holding up 10. If my wife was that lazy, I'd leave her. If you can't put the work into it, don't do it. Whatever "it" ends up being.

>>18702889

>married
>it's a mismatch

sorry but you are fucked.

Just gotta be blunt with you, you have a sexual mismatch with your wife. And that is a pretty big deal.

I'm married and my wife usually wants it about 4 to 5 times a week. In my 20's I dated this girl I liked a lot, but she only wanted it like 2 or 3 times a month, and when we did have sex it was all about her pleasure and she could care less about making it fun for me. I dumped her and moved on.

Among men and women, people have a natural desire for the amount of sex they want, and that usually does not change. For some people it's every day, even multiple times a day. For others it's a few times a year.

You're stuck mate. I might suggest cheating, I'm not even joking.

>>18702889

Furthermore....

How many women did you fuck before meeting your wife?

I fucked about 20 before meeting mine.

Might have dampened my sexual naivety, but I at least got a sense of what respect is, trust, quality sex, etc...

>>18702957
This, seriously. It's the only final solution.

>>18702889
there's probably a way to cheat that doesn't involve being caught unless she gets a private investigator

she doesn't seem to give a shit about people other than herself so I'm not sure if she'd go as far as getting a PI

Get laid outside. She doesn't have to know. Buy her gifts, love your kid. Life goes on. You deserve to be happy.

Also get a lawyer to protect your assets incase it results to a divorce.

>>18702889

delete facebook
hit the gym
lawyer up

>>18702957
This, minus the condescension.

>>18702978
If she's not willing to change anything, OP can either repress his desires and sense of self, or he can realize she doesn't care about him and leave. What's he supposed to do, twist her arm?

>>18702889

I think its very sad that you're a grown man with a wife and children who thinks the solution to fixing his marriage is "turn off my sex drive". Stop avoiding the problem and be a man, OP. Maybe acting like you have a spine might kickstart her sex drive again.

Say, is she on the pill? That's a common side effect.
Ask her to switch to a copper IUD, it might help her.

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Sorry if I happen to offend you but this tilts me on a personal level

THE FUCK MAN!

Ask your parents about their sex life, ask your grandparents, ask your god damn father in law. They will all tell you that this shit is abnormal and bad. A healthy lifestyle for a couple (married or not) is to have sex once a week. Scientific studies show that, both in a physical and mental way.

I just asked my god damn grandfather and he say he has sex once a week, so do my god darn parents. I have been in the same situation as you and it ended simple. My ex didn't care about me fuck all for months before break up.

Shit is serious my friend. Get the help your marriage needs not listen to her not giving a shit about your needs. You are playing with fire man. Seen this shit happen to many. Fucking pick up your balls and ask a pro for help. For all you know she might do... shit, anything while you go to jerk off at work to keep the roof upon your little kido.

This isn't even about your sex life going to shit no more. This is way deeper than one might guess.

GET SOME FUCKING HELP OP!

>>18702889

>>18702889
the ego does not exist in the moment
it exists in the future and in the past, wanting things (like sex), feeling ashamed about things etc. but you can't change what you have in the moment
how you react to something is your choice

to reduce your sex drive you should probably stop masturbating, stop looking at porn and stop having sex
but in the short run this will increase your sex drive

however: i would adise you to talk about the problems you have in your marriage with your wife and you should probably be completely honest to her

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>>18702889
Maybe she has the problem here, you know? I mean, you are the victim, of course, but she staying at home, not showing much afection... Sounds like she feels unfullfilled or something. Is she truly happy now? Or has she been in a "I'll just wait to die" state for years?

>>18702996
This

That's what you get for hasting a marriage or not experiencing around with other women before settling down.

I'm 9 years with my gf this year, we still have sex two to three times a week (mostly due to having other stuff to do most of the time), and if it was less than that I'd probably dump/cheat/do something stupid since I have the biological need to fuck said amount.

She has already cheated you cuck. 4 years of limited / no sex? She is probably getting railed by jamal while you are at work.

She has already stopped loving you. She has already found a lover. She is only with you because of the kids and your money.

I just hope you signed a prenuptial contract because the next months/years of your life will be hell.

Have some dignity and divorce, start lifting, and do your best to not pay a dime to her

>>18702938
Do you think she might be depressed?

If it weren't for the kids I would suggest moving on. I'd also suggest trying to work through it together, but it seems like you've tried really hard as it is and she's giving nothing back. Have you told her that you can't be in a relationship where one of your important needs isn't being met? Does she realise that she could lose you over this?

And sure, you talk about lowering your sex drive and living with it, but I'm not sure what else she brings to the table to make her worth staying with.

Ofc, children complicate things.

she seems depressed. no matter what, something's up and she's not telling you, maybe because she's unaware of it or in denial. in any case tell her you're unhappy and that it's got you concerned for a long time now.
you two need to work this out, it's the damn vow you took. SHE took a vow too that day, so why is she refusing therapy when obviously there's an issue.

tell her you wont leave her over this for the kids sake, so she better not make you have to eventually.

by that i dont mean demand sex from her, demand that she acknowledges that there is something wrong between you two, that the love is not the same it used to be.

to the anons suggesting you leave her over this: you all obviously don't have kids. marriage is not a classic relationship, it's not about you and your partner, it's about the family you are a part of after your first child is born. you don't leave your family, simple as that. insane how nobody seems to know this anymore.