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Anonymous
"It cant be over." Help asap 2017-09-08 07:58:35 Post No. 18702139
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"It cant be over." Help asap 2017-09-08 07:58:35 Post No. 18702139
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So ive been dating this girl (coworker) for two solid months. (She made the first step if that matters later)... We were really getting along with each other and started to develope feels. The problem was that we both knew our relationship is a bit complicated due to her being 5years older and from a neighbour country (she only works here). Also our job was quite demanding for both (we worked 13h a day, 7 days a week, since the end of may. I worked from 7am-21pm, she from 9am-23pm) and we had little time to actually go out on dates or hang out outside of work in general.
So a few days ago she came to me telling me she wants to break up because she doesnt see me as a partner (but still loves me as a friend.) She told me that she is doing this now because she wouldnt want to pretend and make the end even harder if we tried to push the thing further. Fyi it was obvious that she was quite upset about having to do this.
I kinda understand why this would happen.
Let me add that we probably spent only 7-8 days together where we could actually relax and be who we are (like normal dates). We never had any fights but she did say that some things i said made her uncomfortable.
In 10 days she is leaving to visit her family for a bit less than a month.
What should my further action be? I can give her time but i do not want to lose her as a lover.
How/when can i ask her for a second chance? Should i even do that? Or should i try to just be friends and make her change her mind once she clears her thoughts (lets say when she returns from the trip)?
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Did you bang?
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>>18702147
Yes quite a few times (but in my opinion not enough in the last few weeks). And when we did, it wasnt just a few minutes thing but a few hours of inimate sex.
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>>18702139
so is this the love story of a Mexican seasonal bean picker and her Hispanic American boyfriend?
if it is I think you should move to mexico with her.
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>>18702280
No the story takes place in central europe haha
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>>18702284
>No the story takes place in central europe haha
sad news friend, she used you to make her time in your country more tolerable and now she feels guilty about it. Try not to make it harder on her than it has to be, she probably wasn't counting on you developing feelings.
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>>18702287
But why would she tell her mother about me or introduced me to her friends and brother?
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>>18702327
>But why would she tell her mother about me or introduced me to her friends and brother?
did you think that meant that the two of you were going to get married or something? The fact you met those people probably had more meaning and significance in your mind than it did in hers.
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>>18702336
I totally agree. I didnt think we would get married but i thought it was an indicator of a serious relationship. But its wierd because she didnt need to introduce me. Especially to her family...
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>>18702139
Is it a new phenomena that men are the clingy emotional sex or has it really always been that way? Romance novels always promoted women falling in love for eternity but damn, if a woman even touches a man the man is in love and will cling to her forever.
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>>18702351
Two months OP, and most of that the two of you were working. This was at most a little fling.
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>>18702353
Idk but here is not the case. I will get over her but i dont want to shut the door as i am living. You know what im saying? .... also for most my ex's i wouldnt even closely do this.
>>18702357
Eh the thing is that this fling could easily be more than a fling. And shit wasnt even tried for real.
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>>18702376
it is the case here. you are clinging to a girl that doesn't want you and you cannot accept it
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>>18702412
Maybe im too subjective as of now...
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Bump
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Move on. I know it is hard to do it, but its the best thing for you.
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>>18702353
When you don't have much, you tend to cling to what you have. In this case its attention/affection.
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>>18703040
Even when the girl withdraws the attention/affection and tells you plainly its over? There is nothing to cling to.
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