I was not made for this

>>18700096
>What do?
Its never going to happen. Wish her well and move on with your life.

>>18700096
Be a gentleman and move your interests to other pursuits. It's happened to me many times and yes the heartbreak is so difficult, but don't only do this for her do it for yourself. I don't know you, but I feel your pain and I want you to live your life and not hold yourself back with a conflict like this.

She is keeping you around as an emotional sponge while she finds someone else.
Ghost her ass and you can easily fuck her again.

>>18700103
>Its never going to happen.
It likely won't but that doesn't mean I'm going to just shit myself and give up. I care about her more than I care about the possibility of being upset for a bit when/if things don't work out.

>>18700110
>but don't only do this for her do it for yourself
This is mostly for myself, to be honest. I haven't even spoken to a woman outside of acquaintances and family in 5 or so years. Normally I wouldn't leave the house even if I was practically starving or go out of my comfort zone to ask a best friend to hang out but as soon as I know her schedule I'm asking about plans in the hopes that I could see her.
A month ago I was content with working my current dead end job until I died or killed myself but I've already quit smoking weed (without her even knowing or asking) and have a pretty real job prospect that'll be paying me double what I get paid now among other healthy changes that, once again, she didn't pressure me into.

>>18700131
>She is keeping you around as an emotional sponge
This is my ultimate fear; I'm not interested in fucking her so much as I'm interested in being with her in general.
What are the warning signs?

>>18700143
You already lost her man.
It is only a matter of time until she finds someone else and than she wont even hang out with you as a friend.
By distancing yourself for a bit it gives her space marinate in her own thoughts.
To get her back you have to not be afraid of letting her go.
As for the emotional sponge there are a few subtle signs like she never cares about what you have to say or is really self centered when you hang out but even that might not happen.

>>18700163
>By distancing yourself for a bit it gives her space marinate in her own thoughts
I've kind of had similar thinking on the matter. Because she seems unwilling to keep a conversation going I don't message her first anymore and don't reply when I get lukewarm response only conversation but still she'll contact me without fail.
The problem is that I don't know whether it helps or harms my position and the uncertainty is driving me fucking nuts.

She can be really self-interested when we're messaging me but whenever I go to see her she's always talkative and warm.

Anyone?

How do I create want from space? How do I know it's helping? How do I keep from giving a shit?

>>18700096
>she only wanted to be friends. Completely fine
Liar.

Anyway she's killing time till she leaves

>>18700277
>Liar.
I'll admit I was a little disappointed but you can't make a horse drink
I'd rather build a real friendship that could one day be more than boohoo baby about a situation that I have little control over
>she's killing time till she leaves
She's already expressed interest in seeing me when she makes it back into town to see her family and even inviting me out there once she's settled.

>>18700296
You wont build a real friendship you idiot.
She will leave you once she gets a new guy.
You think her new bf will be ok with her hanging out with her ex that still wants to be with her? Hell no.

You will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER EVER get her back dude.
I'm sorry. Every second you keep clinging to her and deluding yourself will make this hurt more.

You should be a man and cut your loss; but I think you are already too far gone to do this.

>>18700096
Well OP idk about you but my ex and I are friends again kind of with benefits but she has a much lower sex drive then I do.

Basically all I did was be understanding about shit and make her understand certain things, show her she does hurt me sometimes with certain actions. I don't really care about the sex and just want her to be happy sort of thing.

We dated for almost a decade, we stopped talking for almost a year and then she re connected with me. We were going to be just friends but things just happened.

You have to be patient and understanding. But don't get used. Know when to cut it off. If she's breaking plans then it's worth a talk and if that doesn't solve anything then break the friendship off.

As said, your best hope would be to ghost her for a few days and maybe a week.
She will be desperate to talk to you and tell you anything you want to hear.
If not just do not talk to her anymore, there is no way this will be anything more ever again if you keep doing what you are doing.
She got you good man. Don't play by her rules, create your own.

>>18700308
>But don't get used
But I'm so useful and too nice! I'll try though

>>18700317
>best hope would be to ghost her for a few days and maybe a week
Ghost as in no contact whatsoever? Should I still make it obvious I'm on and using my normal methods of contact like Facebook but not make a big deal about not talking to her?

>>18700332
You can respond every now and than with one word responses.
It's the tried and true make any guy want you girl method but it also works in reverse.

>>18700339
I've already done that with somewhat decent effect. It's an obvious indicator something is up and she'll ask what my deal is. I'm assuming a "fine" will suffice for the desired effect?

I'm a social retard; the past 7 years I spent in relative solitude and the only "unknown" interactions I have are with customers in my shop.

>>18700346
Yes but do not have an actual conversation with her for a good week or so.
The trick is you need to be ready to give her up, you need to make her believe you are done with her unless she does something about it.
Girls panic when their emotional blanket leaves them before they find a new guy.

>>18700361
Thanks for the tips dude
I'm going to try this on for about a week and the timing is pretty perfect considering she has a week off for a "stay-cation" a week from now.

>>18700370
One warning though.
If she really wants nothing to do with you at all, she wont fall for this. She will just ignore you too.

>>18700386
>If she really wants nothing to do with you at all, she wont fall for this. She will just ignore you too.
I thought as much. Knowing would be a better alternative than being strung along. Thanks again