How do you deal with being frustrated as fuck about yourself,

>>18700075
You just continue. Been there, done that, and when nothing seems to be satisfactory, all you can really do is consistently do (rather than try). So that means continuing with those healthy habits, exploring, etc.

Sorry if my advice is a little cheesy. Just keep in mind that there's also a possibility that what you've been doing is just stupid or you think change will come instantly...tell us about it and the timeframe you've tried self-improvement.

Basically, I have grown up pretty much as a shut in with my father and grandma until 23. Only focusee in life were study and drawing/writing, plus some vidya. Was pretty satisfied about myself.

Then, father died, and had to move in with my mother who SURPRISE, had become an alcoholic, had an asshole new partner and had given birth to a child, basically my brother. Tried to live with them for four months, then fucked off away at my grandma's again.

Grandma died a year later and had to go back with her, changed five houses in some years in the process. All this time (8 years) I've tried to:

-focus on studies
-half work and half study
-just work

When I tried to only focus on studies, I fucked around a lot because my situation was stressful, so I didn't feel like studying: it's already unpleasant in itself, so I just wanted to distract myself with some mmorpg or similar shit. Same thing when I tried to do half and half.

I was happier when I only worked, because having money to get what you want is great, but at the same time I felt frustrated for not finishing my studies.

Some time ago, an old coworker of my father offered to pay for my studies, and was pretty insistent about it... I accepted. Worst mistake ever. Too much pressure and I feel even worse and worthless.

I eventually escaped my mother's house, and went to live with another person, but I can't seem to get my shit together. Tried working with him, didn't work out. Tried studying but we share a small room and I'm too used to being alone when I do that shit.

I'm now giving private lessons for some money, and I barely study.

I want to not depend anymore on the person that pays my university, but I already tried working and studying: didn't work. I'm also scared about not getting my title because it would fuck me off and force me to jump from job to job for the rest of my life, and for low wages. I don't know what the fuck I should do anymore, I've been trying for such a long time.