Every time I try to talk to someone about how I'm struggling

what is your digestion like?

>>18698919
it's good

>>18698908
>>18698908
>struggling with depressive realism and misanthropy
what do you mean by that?
do you have depressions?
if yes, what are they like?
do you hate people?

>>18698933
I have depressions. It's like my brain stops being useful. I am neutral towards people, whereas most are positively illusioned. My experiences, and witnessing other people's experiences, with humanity leaves a negative pool of memories to draw from. Good memories are tainted, because people from my past (family, exes) resent me and vice versa, over dysfunction that unfolded. I don't have a job or money to go out with friends, because my brain isn't working well. I've applied to 50-100 places, but they're turned off by me or something. I have 20 more places in mind to try. I am starting cert training in a week.

Although your digestion is alright, I would strongly recommend you to try out vitamin D 4000 IU a day + Magnesium + Vitamin K + Probiotics.
Also use natural probiotics, like yogurts, apple vinegar and sourcrout.
this helps a lot to produce dopamine. too much vitamin d might give you side effects like psychosis and seeing things that aren't there (just like havig too much dopamine), but 4000IU a day is save to take a whole lifetime.

Also read a bit about hormones. Some hormones are missing while you have a depression, like dopamine, maybe even serotonine.

Do not think about you depression with logic, logic is just trying to explain what you feel. Depression makes you think about every shitty little thing forever or makes you unable to think about complex situations.

Most of your feelings/ of your not feeling anything comes from you gut. there are several hormones produced. if the right nutrients aren't absorbed, you fail to build important hormones that everybody else has. These hormones are needed to laugh, to get your brain running fine, etc.

Also one drastical measurement is stool transplant. It is getting cleaned stool from somebody happy into your gut. His bacteria will develope there and help you producing needed hormones.

>>18698908
>Every time I try to talk to someone about how I'm struggling with depressive realism and misanthropy, they blow me off as if I haven't said anything. This happens via text and in person.
>The fact I can't seem to have a productive conversation about this situation is just worsening it. It takes me from mild dysphoria to absolute rage and suicidal thoughts, rage that my own people won't even fucking talk to me if it's this particular subject. I just thought about suicide for the first time in a year.

This is a really hard truth of depression. You are not doing well, and those that are barely doing well (95% of everybody) fear your thoughts/think they are better than you. You're being pushed down by the people around you who are just behaving in order with the society around them. There's no way around it, you just need to recognize it and continue on your personal journey out of this. Your depressive realism can one day be the kind of objective realism that makes you a man that can be looked up to, your misanthropy assures you that you can judge the whole world and find it wanting. Knowing how the world can improve is the first means to improving it.

You're not normal, you have destiny.

>>18698971
you just cited alternative medicine journals and told me to eat shit

>>18698978
I tried the Vitamin D stuff and it healed my Depression. I was sleeping all day until 2 PM with a few exceptions and was staring at the University at my Computer Screen for hours without being able to write something.

When I take Vitamin D I feel this flood of dopamine and my thoughts shut off and I feel like I could do anything. My nervous System feels like it works two times as fast. Just Google "Vitamin D Depression" and you will get studies. But even though it healed my Depression and that there are studies, you have to try it yourself to find it out.

>>18698976
>>18698976
>>1869897
In subtle ways and theory thats true but in practice im just a guy who can't sleep at the appropriate times

>>18698987
General health things would absolutely help. That's true. I try what I can afford

>>18698908

You sound like a very unpleasant person to interact with.

>>18699001
I don't doubt you have immature shit to leave behind but I believe you can do it.

>>18699007
Prime example of why you can't ask for help with depression.

>>18699007
He sounds like a depressive misanthrope... lol.

OP, nobody is forced to talk to you about these subjects, don't expect it.
Idk what to say about professional therapists/psychiatrists reacting weirdly to you, just that you should go through those people until you find one that clicks with you.

You're asking for help, but you're demanding it come on your terms and that is possibly also clouding your judgement of possibly receiving help and sympathy from people, however it doesn't align with what you want and as such falls through the filter.

You're in a tough position, I'm not a professional certified psychiatrist but I can help with a bit of reasoning, if you're interested in that.
Otherwise, stop labeling yourself and focus on the fact that you're "ill", i.e. seeing yourself as a helpless victim of a disease.

You don't have full control over how your body regulates hormones, but there is a buttload of things you can do to counter it. You're not helpless. And your attitude is a big part of helping.

When depression hits, you think all the negative thoughts are correct and legitimate. Maybe they are, maybe they're not. There's another part of you that doesn't think so - the part that stops you from committing suicide and urges you to seek help.

Personally what has helped me battle depression was having a conversation with myself.

Do you know how to hold a debate? Argue a point that you do not represent? If not, read up on some philosphy and learn that shit. Then apply it, have a debate with yourself. Write the shit down, "Argument A from the side of "I'm a fuckup and hate everything" that you strongly strongly believe. Then come up with a counter argument, argue your best case to support that counter argument for why the first reasoning is not true. And do that with everything that pops into your head that's negative - ever.

>>18699013
What this means?

hey OP, there is a point where thinking cannot help you. A point where your body and brain stops working. A point where your Hands will get cold and you lose weight and you just stare into the air all day or sleep.

I have been there and gotten over it.

With vitamine D. Maybe antidepressants would also have helped. important is, that you have to do something, like take medicine.

>>18699013

>Prime example of why you can't ask for help with depression.

I mean, I just don't understand where you got the idea that you were allowed to be as dismissive and condescending as you want and still somehow expect people to want to help you.

>>18699045
That's not OP

>>18699042
Very true. It takes luck, it takes an intelligent plan, and it takes a lot of fighting...pushing through the pain when nothing seems worth it

>>18698908
Honest advice... I actually care about your condition and i dont want you to read this as invalidating or accusing.

If your friends are shutting you out and your psychologists "argue with you like children", it gives me an impression. do you think maybe you reach out and when people try to help you reject everything they say and throw it back at them?

Psychology pro tip: you are self bias (like everyone else alive) and within 5 minutes of meeting someone they know things about you already from inferral and judgement that you may never realise in your life time (like anyone else).

Outside perspectives are extremely important. Sometimes they wont line up with your world view or what youve decided and attached to, and that doesnt mean theyre wrong.

>>18699055
The goal of interacting with someone who has attached to the more positive side of things is to become more like them.

I don't think I'm interacting with sincerely happy people, just delusional ones. Truly happy people get my mind off the glum shit by at least being amusing, if not inspiring.

These specific people I'm interacting with who are supposedly okay with humanity actually have a great deal of grief caused by indulging others like shit partners etc

I see those truly happy people as more like one of the dozens of managers who is like "ew, no way."

Just to take the conversation back to the literal

>>18699065
so you just want to suck out the happiness of other people instead of creating your own?

>>18699065
The guy you're responding to has mentioned "self-bias" which is what your answer mostly is. Just fyi

>>18699069
>>18699072
I wonder how long these two will try to pick a fight with OP

>>18699081
Not about picking a fight, more about showing him what he seems to have missed, really. I already posted my piece of advice and if he's not up for it, that's okay.
But it does show the tendency of his thinking, that's all.

>>18698908

The thing is that ultimately everyone knows that life is at least to some extent pointless and sort of shit. That is the reason why people find talking to depressed people (or misanthropist for that matter) so exhausting: life is what it is, you just gotta deal with it, but when discussing depression, or the pointlessness it highlights, the negatives of life become impossible to ignore. No one wants to talk about how life is shit, when they can just ignore the crap to the best of their abilities and focus on whatever positives they can come up with in order to make life tolarable, possibly even happy. It's a defence mechanism. Your desire to mull over your issues with other people is, in essence, selfish and while I encourage you to seek help from professionals, expecting other people in your life, be it friends, family or acquaintances, to discuss your depression with you if they do not want to do so is unreasonable and just inflicts your misery on them as well.

>>18699085
OP here. Life is beautiful, not shit.

>>18699096
>Life is beautiful
>I have depressions. It's like my brain stops
So you have depressions and do not want to change it.

>>18699120
Are you genuinely asking for help understanding? Life is beautiful even though there are problems.