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Anonymous
Life/College/Suicide Advice 2017-09-07 02:36:46 Post No. 18698006
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Life/College/Suicide Advice 2017-09-07 02:36:46 Post No. 18698006
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>Father died slowly of cancer a year ago
>Been losing interest in my studies since the beginning of the year
>Went from a 3.8 GPA to a 2.9 and falling in senior year of Engi
>No friends since freshman year
>Can't enjoy anything
I want to kill myself but I don't want to hurt my already widowed mother by killing her only child. My life has been spiraling down for years and it's to the point where I physically cannot stand it anymore and have been drinking copiously to cope. I don't see any future in which I am happy and I don't have anything that I want to live for.
I've 'gotten my things in order' several times and done test-cuts, so I know I can go through with it, but every time I'm stopped because it would ruin my mother's life even more. I feel like I'm trapped here keeping up appearances until further notice and I don't know what to do anymore. Please help.
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Dont worry your fucking GPA doesnt matter as long as you know your stuff. especially for CS stuff.
Don't kill yourself over a piece of paper.
Want friends? Start talking to people and read a book like carnegies how to win friends and influence people.
Cant enjoy anything? shit there must be something to enjoy in this place, I enjoy lucid dreaming myself so I like to take alot of melatonin
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Smoke weed
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>>18698190
I don't care about my GPA aside from making my mother happy. I don't have any desire to pursue any career in my field or work. It's not about the degree at all, I'm good at ace'ing tests so pulling B's and C's is not hard. I read that book years ago. I don't enjoy anything anymore, all of my old hobbies don't do anything anymore. All I've done in my free time in the past several months is drink and self-injure, and sleep.
>>18698195
I've tried every drug I can get my hands on, weed doesn't do anything for me, a cigarette gives me more release.
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>>18698006
Would your father be proud of you killing yourself?
>Poor me!
Stop being a shithead and nutup. Life sucks. It's never what we, as children, think it's going to be. It's full of struggles, loss, cluelessness, but it's also full of accomplishments, hopes, dreams, and success. Your actions dictate your world. You obviously realize this because you're stating you want to kill yourself and think this will take away your pain.
>I relate to you.
My mother died slowly over the span of 7 years last year from cancer. I watched her deteriorate. No one in my "support system" can understand what it's like to lose a parent at my age. No one understands my loss and I still cry for her often and obviously, feel lonely while I'm at it.
But I just started learning engineering online (it's accredited, don't you worry). I don't have a good opportunity to make friends in an online setting, so that's not my goal. Instead, I can make friends playing video games online and my academic goal is to be the student my mom would be proud of so I can be the engineer I want to be.
>There is NEVER a reason to give up in a situation like ours. That's just weakness and you cannot let yourself succumb to that.
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Change your major to biochemistry
Cure cancer avenger your dad
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