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I just cut contact with my abusive ex. After I cut contact he texted me threatening to kill himself and I've made sure his parents were aware of it as well as his friends. Last time he threatened to kill himself I made him call 911 instead and the dispatcher dealt with it.
He won't stop texting me and begging me to take him back and talking about how much he's changed. He's been on antidepressants for about two months and getting professional help for longer than that, but he clearly hasn't changed the part of his life where he'll threaten suicide in an attempt to force me to stick round or ignore my boundaries.
I do still love him (he didn't used to be abusive, or anything like this really), but I won't take him back or be with him. That's not what this thread is for. I have depression and anxiety and it's killing me to constantly deal with the threats, especially knowing most of them are insincere attempts at forcing me to talk. Now that other people are aware it's no longer my problem, but the constant texts are upsetting and stressful. I don't think I really need advice though. Just someone to talk to.
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>>18697822
>I just cut contact with my abusive ex.
Good.
>After I cut contact he texted me threatening to kill himself
Now entering "not your fucking problem.
> Last time he threatened to kill himself I made him call 911 instead and the dispatcher dealt with it.
No, what you taught him is that one sure fire way to get your attention and response is to threaten suicide.
>He won't stop texting me
Block his number.
>treatment blah blah blah
Thats nice. Is he still ignoring your boundaries?
Fuck him. If he dies he dies.
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>>18697874
>No, what you taught him is that one sure fire way to get your attention and response is to threaten suicide.
No. I forced him into calling 911 and stopped talking to him as soon as I made sure he did so.
>Block his number.
I have a very old flip phone, to the best of my knowledge there isn't a way to block his number on it. I've looked before in the past.
>Thats nice. Is he still ignoring your boundaries?
Yes. He's spamming me with texts that I can't block once every minute or so about how much he's changed, how it'd be a huge mistake on my part to leave him, how he just needs one more chance, and so on. I rely on my phone for very important work texts so I can't just disable texting wholesale either or turn my phone off.
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>>18697891
>No. I forced him into calling 911 and stopped talking to him as soon as I made sure he did so.
You still talked to him. He got what he wanted, next time it'll be a bigger show to get a little more. You already know this, though, you've been through the ride before.
>I have a very old flip phone, to the best of my knowledge there isn't a way to block his number on it. I've looked before in the past.
Call your phone company, they can do it.
>I rely on my phone for very important work texts so I can't just disable texting wholesale either or turn my phone off.
You could always change your number, or buy a new phone, or get a restraining order.
The point isn't that you need strategies, its that you need to make decision.
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>>18697907
>You still talked to him. He got what he wanted, next time it'll be a bigger show to get a little more. You already know this, though, you've been through the ride before.
No. I've talked him down myself before long ago, that is what he wants. I have not, and will not do so again. I haven't even talked to him lately, this was just me properly cutting contact with him following him harassing me again. It's not my responsibility to take care of him and I've already made it clear in the OP that I don't feel as though it is. I'm not going to crawl back to him and I'm not going to try to save him at my own expense. Making him call 911 and calling his parents and friends is me doing what is necessary to be able to live with myself at night and have a clean conscience free of fearing that someone I was with for very many years may end up killing himself.
>Call your phone company, they can do it.
I can try to do that at some point, but at this hour it's not an option. I said straight from the OP I don't need advice, simply someone to talk to. Everything you've said I'm aware of or is not applicable to my situation.
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>>18697940
>Making him
Thats contact, its encouragement. The next time he wants a response, all he has to do is threaten to kill himself. This will happen again.
>me doing what is necessary to be able to live with myself at night and have a clean conscience
He's going to keep leveraging that until you truly hate him.
>I can try to do that at some point, but at this hour it's not an option. I said straight from the OP I don't need advice, simply someone to talk to. Everything you've said I'm aware of or is not applicable to my situation.
Interesting venue for someone not looking for advice.
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>>18697822
By the way, what he is going is called "affective blackmail".
>>18697874
this
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