multiple partners

>>18697336
You should definitely do what your heart tells you. Enjoy your youth :^)

>>18697336
Your bf doesn't have to deal with this.
Leave him and just be the whore you're meant to be.

>>18697342
Thanks.. the only problem is my long term boyfriend says he won't take me back if I pursue the friend.

>>18697348
I don't feel like it's being a whore. More like loving more than one person? I'm not parading myself to be fucked.

>>18697351
Then he wasn't a real man :^)

pick one

>>18697336
there's no problem about you wanting to have sex with your friend, the problems lies on you cheating. if you wanna have a lot of dates, it is better to end your relationship, cheating lead to hate and it is the seed of a lot of tragedies.

>>18697351
don't you think it's reasonable that someone wants a monogamous relationship? either respect his wishes and stay with him or leave him and fuck as many guys as you want, the choice is so simple

>>18697361
>loving more than one person
must be nice to be female and be able to mentally justify a harem, I won't claim to be the authority on love but I personally don't understand polyamorism

>>18697365
this

>>18697365
So how do I stop having the feelings for this friend?? I don't want him out of my life.

>>18697374
I do respect it but I feel like I'm not living my life to the potential I want it to be. So do I just stay repressed regarding those feelings?

>>18697351
As he fucking should.

>>18697361
>loving more than one person

And how do you figure that happening you dumb cunt? You think your bf will still "love" you if you start fucking other guys even though he's against it?
You said about your friend that it was just infatuation, so what'll you do when you're over it? You think you can have "multiple relationships" without becoming a whore in the process? Fuck off.

>>18697392
nobody can tell you the answer to this except yourself, we have different ideas and wishes for ourselves and what we want to be in life. But when it comes to this boy I repeat, you can't have your cake and it eat it too. He wants someone to cherish and respect and it's not worth it to him if you get what he gives from three different people while he gets one third from you. Most people feel the same.

>>18697336
There is no answer, while its normal you may want to date another person while having a partner there is no point in thinking for a solution. You will question whatever decision you take and after some time you will accept it.

>>18697421
>>18697416
>>18697413
Thanks. I guess I needed all these things affirmed before making my decision.

>>18697336
Well, first I'd have to know your age. But that aside as I don't really need you to post it here's a general guideline.

If you're ready to get married, he should have proposed to you about 3 years ago. If you're not, then perhaps a "look" at the o;d friend is in order.

Just don't blindside him. Tell him the relationship is going nowhere (especially if you really feel that way).

But be honest with yourself first. Are you really interested in the old friend, or just bored with the current bf. The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.

>>18697453
I'm 21. Maybe I am just bored, but I don't always believe it's boredom because our relationship can be doing wonderful, yet I still have feelings for other people. My only outlet is getting to be flirty with those people and building connections with them. Its so difficult to explain without sounding like a cheating whore. I've been rock solid with my first and only bf of 5 years.

>>18697336

>Do:

Choose the thing that you will feel will leave you with the last regrets, and then commit to it

>Do not:
Choose nothing, do nothing, repress everything, and carry this as some sort of deep seeded longing in the back of your mind that slowly warps and fetishizes itself until it becomes toxic.


>Pick one:
Decide that this something that is truly important to you, and a part of your life that you NEED to explore. Then leave your boyfriend to explore it

Or

Realize that you're hyping this shit up in your head, that it's no big deal, and that it's not something you need to have in your life. And then never think about it again.

There is no real middle ground.

>>18697336

He wants monogamy and you don't. Either resign yourself to a monogamous relationship or break up with him.

This shouldn't be that hard to understand.

>>18697336
>>18697351
you stupid roastie whore, i hope he breaks up with you.

>>18697534

This.

>>18697488
THIS. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to other people, the problem is when it clashes with your partner's desires. I'm in a poly relationship and there are still boundaries in place. Unfortunately for your current relationship, anything outside, it would seem, is restricted.

>>18697601
I should correct myself: the problem is when your actions clash with your partner's desires. No relationship should be thought policing each other.

>>18697534
>inb4 OP ignores all of the sane posts and decides to fuck 40 men and get reported on news being "loaded with semen of 40 individuals before murdered by boyfriend"

File: 1382242655571.jpg (205KB, 627x500px) Image search: [Google]

205KB, 627x500px

>>18697336

Just go on a date with that old friend and see what happens. Pursue your fantasies,be happy. Aim for fun.

Way I see it anyway is that you're bored and you said that to him as a plea for some more excitement between the two of you. At this stage where you're feeling things for another guy, I figure your boyfriend failed to do anything or didn't do anything to increase that excitement and basically conveyed "this is as good as it gets" and that's not good enough for you to feel his value. It's also worth criticizing him too for not dumping you there&then because hey,if that really is his best and you're not appreciating him he should have the confidence to know that others would appreciate it.

>>18697639
I went hiking with my boyfriend. I think I've made my decision. I'll stay with him and hey, I can still be friends with the other guy, without pursuing romantic relations. Honestly, I hope it's just a fantasy I will outgrow.

You're not being a whore, follow your heart. It's not like you are married.

>>18697749

Personally I wouldn't recommend it OP. At some point you have to make a stand and make a hard decision for what you've chosen. If I were you, i wouldn't keep in contact with the friend, because the temptation is too great.

Crushes will come and go whether you're in a relationship or not. And that's just a natural reality. Feelings are not right or wrong. It's what you do in spite of them that counts.

>>18697764
I really just think I have to test the waters and see what happens if I keep him as a friend.

>>18697771
I doubt he's just your "friend" if you're infatuated with him, you're just keeping him around as a backup guy. What you're doing is still unfair for your boyfriend, since you haven't fully committed to a decision, just kicked the can down the road. It's best if you end it with your bf now instead of wasting more of his years, he doesn't deserve what you're doing to him.

>>18697943
This so fucking much.

>>18697336

Break up.

The road you are going down is not fair to your partner. If he is a one way street person, and you are poly then you need to go ahead and end it.

>>18697351

well duh.

If my GF gave me this dialogue I would show her door right away.

>>18697943
Couldn't have said it better myself. Give your bf a break op, don't put him through this. If you want multiple partners then do so with people who are cool with it.

I'm going through a similar thing OP, but through a male's position. An old highschool crush and the girl of my dreams just matched me on Tinder (I dick around on there for fun with my gf's consent just to keep my self-esteem high), but life couldn't be better with the gf right now. I was so torn on it for about 4 hours before I found this thread, revaluated my situation, and decided that what I have is way too valuable and rare to risk on any fantasies without closure.

My advice: if you think what you have now is replicable, then go ahead and roll the dice again with another guy. If you don't think you'll get the opportunities that you've been given now, hold onto that with additional mental security that you've made a mature and informed decision.

I'm sure if you think long and hard about your life, you'll find more appreciation for certain values of yours that you didn't have an extensive understanding of before.

>>18697336
Just to warn you OP, poly relationships almost always end up in shambles because it is not stable foundation to build a relationship on, let alone a family.

Being with one person in your life is hard, and you inevitably will have to sacrifice things for it. But there are many rewards that come with it aswell.

If you decide you are young and want to ride the cock carousel, that is your choice ofcourse, but you can't blame your boyfriend for wanting a monogamous relationship.

You can't have both your boyfriend and fuck multiple other people, unless he's a cuck. In which case you have bigger problems.

>>18697744
>Just go on a date with that old friend and see what happens. Pursue your fantasies,be happy. Aim for fun.

>'Just do whatever you like without thinking of the consequences teehee!'

Fuck dude, this whole thread really turns me off the idea of long lasting relationship. How do you tell apart the worthy girls?

>>18697336
You grow up and realize you can't have your cake and eat it.

Either break up and fuck other dudes but lose your boyfriend or commit to your relationship.

If you cheat, you're just making things 100x worse, and you'll most likely end up damaging your partner.

>>18699005
Hard to give a general answer on that one, but for me it's loyalty above all else. It gives me an empowering feeling to know that someone is pledging their exclusivity to me and a sense of moral satisfaction to return it.

>>18699005

If one thread on 4chan turned you off from the idea of a long lasting relationship you probably weren't all that likely to have one anyways.

>>18697470
Hard for me to get my head around being with one person from the time you are 15. Its perfectly normal to wonder what it would be like to date other people. What you lack is the courage to make the hard decision to end your 5 year relationship with no guarantees it is the right one.

This deep "friendship" you have with the other guy is a lame attempt by you to experience dating without calling it dating. So far this "friendship" has been safe but what happens when you meet another guy and its not manageable. You think you are conflicted now with a little crush, just wait when a guy upsets your world. It will happen and you have no skill or experience to deal with it.

I wouldn't break up to date just your "friend" but would break up to experience other men and the thrill, pain and angst associated with meeting, cultivating, stumbling mistakes, fuck ups and emotional highs of romantic relationships while you are young.

>>18699005
Good god they have been together since 15. Neither has had a chance to know anything different and I bet the bf has the same thoughts. Who knows perhaps he has already cheated.

>>18699131
>I bet the bf has the same thoughts.
>Who knows perhaps he has already cheated

Yes lets twist it so the bf is at fault here

>>18697336
Do whatever you want. Virgin fags will call you a whore, don't listen. The only time I lose respect for a women is when she's too stupid to realise she's being used, or she indirectly goes after what she wants in a sneaky way. If you want want to date multiple people do it. Just don't lie about it.

>>18699131
He's also 5 years older than me and just tells me other people will break my heart and use me, so he's made me almost afraid of pursuing other relationships. He said he's been there done that, and I shouldnt have to go through it.

>>18699127
I'm not going to get everything I have from my current relationship in any other, but that's the point. All relationships can be good in their own ways.
>>18699198
I'm honestly the furthest thing from a whore. Literally. Same guy. 5 years. He has been my first and only everything.

Make them gay for each other and resign yourself to playing the role of the artificial womb.

>>18699897
Just fully commit to whatever decision you take. Don't keep the "friend" around while dating your bf.

>>18699908
Good idea.

>>18699910
Just ditch him? He's been my friend longer than I've been with my bf. I feel like I still am someone he should be able to confide in.

>>18699918
He's not just your "friend" anymore. You admitted yourself that you're infatuated with him. Your bf would break up with you on the spot if you told him your feelings towards that "friend".

Why are you even with your bf anymore? Do you even love him? Is the only reason you're sticking with him because he scared you with all the relationship-horror stories?

>>18699927
Is there a way to stop those feelings for my friend?

Also, no, I'm with him because I'm taken care of and treated great. He provides so much. I'm not unhappy with him.

>>18699927
I really do love him