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Anonymous
How to face mother of a friend who committed suicide? 2017-09-06 09:36:07 Post No. 18695465
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How to face mother of a friend who committed suicide? 2017-09-06 09:36:07 Post No. 18695465
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How to face mother of a friend who committed suicide?
Anonymous
2017-09-06 09:36:07
Post No. 18695465
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2 months ago one of the friends who I used to hang out with often in middle school and start to middle of highschool commited suicide.
I got in contact with his mother when he was considered missing hoping to figure out where he could have gone and I specifically said that "I don't think he would have killed himself" on the idea that I think that he wouldn't put his mother through that kind of stress, Thinking that he would not let his mom go through the pain of another family member killing themselves. I'm going to stop by the home and be shown where his grave is soon and I'm probably stressing about it way too much to the point of lack of sleep.
I honestly don't know what I want from posting this
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>>18695465
I'd say you might be looking for some reassurance, since this is being a nerve-wrecking experience for you. It's alright to vent and talk about stuff that bothers you.
Like you suspect, I don't think the mom is hanging on your words, she might appear to be or make a comment - but she very likely will not draw a connection. She has other things to think about. Just pay your respects and be kind.
Don't blame yourself for anything and get some sleep. That helps for dealing with emotions.
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>>18695465
Start with this important point: This story is not about you.
Whatever you're feeling, his mother is feeling much worse, and your role here is to offer her sympathy and support (Doing that might in fact help you too).
Tell her how shocked and saddened you were. Remind her how close you and he used to be and assure her that your memories of him have been a big and happy part of your life.
Then take your cue from her. If she can't handle being reminded of happier times, stop there. If she can, tell her some stories about the two of you as kids - the warm memories may help her a lot.
And then go off and deal with your own unhappiness on your own, not dumping it on her.
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>>18695492
Thank you for this the only other worry I forgot to mention was her almost replacing or treating me as she would treat him if he was still alive which is unsettling for me but if it helps her cope with loss as you said this impacts her much more than me
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