nosy coworker

>>18692722
>What the fuck do i do with people like this? She's like 10 years older than me too so I can't be rude at all. Please help.

Could she be mothering you? Politely tell her that you appreciate her concern but that you don't want to discuss it.

>>18692748
She does have this "older sister" vibe when she talks to me like she cares about me. But it's getting really annoying now because she jokes to me about me being sick now as if I've been lying about my sick days. I never ask her any personal questions and just keep to myself. She forces conversation on me by randomly talking to me about my personal life and asking me what I have planned for the weekend, stuff like that. But it's especially annoying when she asks me specific questions about my illness. I'm not dumb, i can tell she's trying to gauge if i'm lying about it or not, but what does it matter though? I work in a corporate company where every employee gets 5 sick days and I'm adhering to these rules.

>>18692767
So she's mothering you while teasing you. This is done (subconciusly) to bond. Like saying "I know your secret, I could tell on you but i won't because I like you". You confirm in this "game", by getting annoyed.

You can stop it by not letting her get a reaction from you.

>>18692807
So in other words, just don't react at all when she does stuff like this? What about when she constantly asks me questions about stuff? Do I reply with "i'd like to keep that personal"? How do I tell her I don't want to answer her questions without coming off as rude?

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>>18692722
Introvert VS extrovert: the conflict.

You cant do anything if you dont want to appear rude. Ask her if she is single and then give her the dick already.

Maybe she is super lonely and you are her attraction or distraction from her sad fate. If you dont enjoy her questions, be active in conversation war and ask her yourself about various stuff. That way she will talk about herself without stopping instead of questioning you.

>>18692833
I'm in a relationship already and this girl is like 10 years older than me. I am not attracted to her at all whatsoever. The thing is, she doesn't like talking about herself. She keeps things very short when I try to counteract her questions with questions of my own. And I'm sensitive to her request so don't really dig too deep with my questions. I just wish she would show the same consideration and not be so nosy.

>>18692845
To me it seems she is trying to flirt with you. Luckily girls rarely hit on boys directly so unless one of you get drunken, she wont do anything.

And honestly why cant you be rude? What do you have to lose by simply ignoring her?

>>18692860
We work in the same department and she is the only person i directly have to communicate with in order to get work done efficiently. And she is 10 years older than me and I already have a girlfriend. I do not find her attractive AT ALL.

>>18692814
>>18692845

It's not the details of your adventurous life she's primarily after, that's just a way to get your attention. Do you want to give her some attention? Then encurage that and talk about what you feel comfortable sharing.

Don't want to share anything then tell her you feel uncomfortable talking about your private life and when she persists that you would like to keep it professional at work and as a last resort tell her you will bring up her unprofessional ways with manegment.

>>18692902
Sounds like you will have to change your mindset. You are payed not just for the job, but also for talking to her.

Last very stupid question: what do you have to lose by beibg honest and basically dumping all your secrets on her? Do you have something to hide?

>>18692924

>>18692922

Thanks for the advice anons. And to answer your last very stupid question, I don't have anything to lose by dumping all my secrets except for the fact that she might gossip about me to everyone else. I don't really trust anyone that easily to be honest. I have nothing to hide, however, i am not here to make friends either. I don't need my coworker gauging whether i'm lying about my sick day if i was actually sick or not. I am not a liability to this company as I have gotten two raises this year for my great performance. I literally used 3 of my 5 sick days given to me a year, and everytime, she pried at me and tried to see if I was actually sick or not.

Who cares? I got sick and I used my sick days. It's not like I'm slacking and not doing any of my work.

Some horrible advice being handed out today. I think "How To Win Friends and..." says to let her know by going "wow that question made me feel really awkward". She will most likely reply with "just curious" or "just asking". From then on, only reply with,"Are you always this curious?" Or "are you just asking again?" Make sure you sound like a broken record and eventually she will stop.

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>>18692933
>gossiping
Pic related?

And the thing with sick days, everybody does that. I think you are the only one who cares. And as long as you have results, your boss wont care either.

>>18692965
are you fucking retarded? I'm having a hard time understanding what the fuck you're trying to say to me anon. were you home-schooled or some shit?

That was exactly my point that EVERYBODY uses their sick days like this and people shouldn't really care about it. Which is why i'm coming here to ask for advice on how to deflect a nosy fucking coworker nicely.

work on your reading comprehension anon.

>>18692933
If this is only about your sick days, then you seriously just need to chill and this will all blow over. The way you're touchy about it make you seem guilty af.

>>18692984
>everybody does it
>everybody knows it
>yet i want to keep telling lies to my coworker even though both her and i know what reality is
Can you see the irony yet? Next time she asks you what your illness was, answer hooliday, fixing car or whatever activity you used it for.

>>18692994
When I say I'm sick, i'm actually sick. I don't need to fucking tell you what exactly the sickness it is(it's a fucking UTI and it's embarrassing as fuck to talk about). Here's the context anon. I'm not guilty, i just don't want to talk about having a fucking UTI.

>>18692995
move along troll

Just say 'sorry, I really don't like discussing these personal matters' with a smile and if she doesn't back off then be more cold until she gets the hint

>>18693028
Ok thanks anon.

>>18692933
It just seems to me she was talking. Talking makes the day go by faster after all. Just respond with something like 'Im just tired' it's what I do when I don't want to talk

Hell they don't really sound like prying questions. She might just be making jokes.

>>18693014
Huh! That was a bit unexpected. If you belive a urinary tract infection is something to be ashamed about, then I can safely say you have not been living life to the fullest. Also realize that by being prickly you're weirding people out especially if you are otherwise a good performer, ppl want to know wtf is going on with you.

OP you're right your coworker is just some gossiping shrew. Next time that bitch opens her fat mouth just say
>"I'm feeling extra defensive today so please respect my delicate sensibilities and talk to someone else"

>>18693014
Do you think going into work with a zit on your cheek is embarrassing to?

>>18693067
Youre probably right. Its just that id rather not go into specifics about what the sickness was, or what the doctor told me ya know?

>>18693014
Is this some sort of trolling bc OP is obviously the poster of the thread >>18692674
Where she has food poisoning >>18692752

Now I'm confused and would actually like some help.

>>18693082
Stop trying to bully me

>>18693100
That post is by me and i made this one because that one wasnt getting much replies. Food poisononing was one of my sick days. Uti was most recent

>>18693111
UTI is really common among women, less so with men for obvious reasons but not uncommon. Can be painful af and some seem to attract it repeatedly. I've seen a mother of two not scared of shit breake down in tears and rushed to an emergency in the ungodly hours of the morning to get some antibiotics. Lots of home remedies for this is atleast somewhat effective. If I where to give you an advice of who you should consult, next to a doctor, I'd suggest an older woman.

>>18693163
Im a dude... and i already got antibiotics from my dr

>>18693178
Then atleast you would get some sympathy bc probabilities are she has had it as well and knows the pain.

>>18693208
The thing is, she was so curious and kept asking that i ended up telling her that i had a uti and she had no idea what that was. She then proceeded to saying aloud in the office where everybody else could hear "well hope its not a std or something".

This fucking pissed me off so much. I already got diagnosed by my doctor that it was a uti bitch. Why the fuck would you even say that in earshot of everyone else in the office? This is why i came here for advice because id like for her to not pry as much moving forward.

>>18693229
I definatively see why you would get annoyed by that. However as I said, uti is really common and 99% of the women in that room now thinks she's a really shitty person with no friends. (I'm also a dude but knows about uti because women tend to tell me things like I care, they are not completely wrong though).

>>18693278
Yeah, this brings me peace of mind. Just never dealt with a person like this before. She's an alright person overall, but the curiosity and nosiness just really got to me.

So overall, should I just smile and say I would not like to talk about personal matters from now on? Thanks for the advice and comforting words anon.

>>18693293
Yepp, well atleast that's what I'd do.Brofist.