Mutual attraction, how does it work?

>>18687489
True sexual attraction happens instantly. There will be no mistaking it as instinct takes over. This is what people call "chemistry".

What you're describing is more the notion of modern european romance, wherein you court someone and attempt to get them to like you(some people will say this happens in animal land but the reality is that animals really just rape and the strongest usually reproduces). This is unlike eastern cultures where attraction is more of an afterthought to the union itself which is thought of in very practical terms, hence the arranged marriages.

As much as I hate to say this, being a woman you will have more options and all you really need to do is look pretty as the men are expected to do all the heavy lifting. The only time you will probably even want to do something will be with males that are already out of your league in which case you've already lost.

>>18687523
Hmm, I suppose my problem is that the distinction between who I find attractive and who I do not has more to do with personality (sense of humor, world view, temperament) and these things aren't necessarily evident immediately, especially if you're in a stressful and artificial environment like a date. I can filter out the uggos right away, but if I'm not really jiving with somebody who's otherwise passable I feel like maybe I should give them a chance or try to make it work.

>>18687544
If you are talking about strictly having sex then wtf does their personality have to do with that? Also, post face and we will rate.

>>18687561
I'm looking for relationship material. But sex is a part of a relationship.

>>18687564
Well op i have no experience in this department but i think you can usually tell whether you like someone after a date or two

>>18687561
>this

Generally you know whether you like someone, both their personality and their physical appearance, within a few dates.

Op how old are you? These kinds of things depend on the age group you are trying to date too

>>18687544
>who I find attractive and who I do not has more to do with personality (sense of humor, world view, temperament) and these things aren't necessarily evident immediately, especially if you're in a stressful and artificial environment like a date

You touch the problem with a needle. This is a problem in the modern world wherein people are highly mobile both geographically and socially. Simply put, you're wanting an environment wherein you can really get comfortable with someone and sort of grow with them too. The reality is that for adults that environment doesn't really exist outside educational institutions because of just the way the world is. You(and when I say you I mean all of us) no longer lives in close knit tribes and such where such level of intimacy is had. You can date and hope to god you lucked out but like you said, superficial attraction doesn't equal attraction of personality.

My previous post I thought you meant superficial attraction btw. Anyway, your problem is a universal one and a sort of catch 22. How do we find a "true love", so to speak, if they can be anywhere at anytime hidden among the millions of people in a society that only cares about the superficial and how do you do it young enough that you still have enough time left to enjoy each other's youthful beauty?

This is why a lot of marriages were fucked btw. People marry too young and waste years with people they don't' care about or marry too old with someone that is meant for them yet have all sorts of reproductive issues or even worse they never marry at all because they think age isn't a thing and can do it all. Which btw is happening a lot to career women and another chick whose posting on /adv/ at the moment.

>>18687588
Mid 20s.

>>18687591
There's got to be some middle ground between arranged marriage and soul mates. People fall in love everyday and they seem fairly well off. Just because I build a relationship with somebody doesn't mean I have to marry them.

>>18687677
Mutual attraction is essentially luck. If you find someone who you find attractive, you have to hope that they find you attractive.

>>18687544
If you are filtering the uggos and waiting for Chad to come by, he wont. Chad will never go for you even if you try to pretty yourself. What

>>18687835
What can you offer that Stacy can't? Have you ever thought about that?

>>18687677
I feel like most of the above posters are missing the point of your question OP.

It's pretty typical for women to be more attracted to personality than just appearances. Because of that, I'd say if you want to give potential partners a fair chance, you ought to go in at least 2-3 dates before you completely write them off. First dates can be stressful and awkward, simply because it's a firat date and there is some level of pressure on each party to make a good impression, meaning that a first date doesn't always reveal a whole lot about what kind of person your courter is. Give them a second or third chance to let them show some more of their true personality, and if they're still not what you're looking for, then move on to the next one.

Obviously there will be times when you go on a first date and immediately realize that the person you're with is simply not someone you're interested in, and that's completely okay, but if you ever finish a first date and feel unsure, don't hesitate to give the guy a second chance.

>>18687835
I'm sorry that you're ugly anon but I'm still not going to sleep with you.

>>18687867
Thanks, that's actually helpful. Though I admit I might feel a little bad if I tell a guy no after multiple dates. Like I was leading him on.