Feeling like porn has ruined me

You already answered your own question, Anon. Just set the mood and make it romantic and special. Learn to relax and help her relax too.

When I was 21 I lost my virginity to my ex, who was a virgin at the time as well. I cooked a nice dinner, we started dancing then I set some candles in her bedroom and we did the deed. It was fun, slightly awkward, and very heartwarming.

>>18685547

Yeah, i think you're right. We tried to do that yesterday, we set up a bunch of pillows and blankets, but we were pretty much fumbling around in the dark the whole time. Trying to find the condoms and lube, moving the snacks around so we wouldn't spill them, throwing our clothes around and looking around for them so one of us could go to the bathroom, pausing a bit every time we heard a kid scream or a car light turn on. It wasn't very comfy. I thought it would be, but it wasn't. Would have been excellent for just making out and cuddling, and actually watching the movies.

I wanted to see spiderman homecoming, but we only ended up seeing the opening scene and the credits

Get viagra or cialis. It will make it much easier for your first time.

>>18685571

I don't think i have ED though, i'm pretty sure it's all mental or anxiety, and i don't think my shit insurance would cover it.

Are there any alternatives? I just quit smoking cigarettes, i've been taking my vitamins, and eating a bit healthier FYI.

>>18685566
Here's a tip: put a lamp on or if you have a light with a dimmer. There's nothing wrong with having sex with the lights on. You can actually see what you're doing and you can see your partner. This will be very important for gauging your partners pleasure and will help you read her body and her face.

Don't listen to the guy about viagra. Just try not to be tense and relax. Do some deep breathing while not thinking about fucking. The focus will make things so much better.

>>18685578
That's exactly why you should take viagra or cialis. They will help you with the anxiety. After you have swallowed one and waited for it to take effect it will be much easier to get and maintain an erection. You need all the help you can get for your first time.

>>18685578
When I started dating my ex I was a heavy smoker (nearly 2 packs a day). I quit for 3 months before we had sex for the first time. It's amazing how much your erection quality improves after you cut that shit out.

I've now gone 5 years smoke free (I vape, yeah yeah mouth fedora) and my erections now are harder and larger than when I was 16 (I'm 26).

If you don't have heart problems, you can try taking some l-arginine and do some cardio daily. It will help with blood flow and nitrous oxide which will lead to better erections.

I think it would help you to start thinking of all the stuff you wanna do together without touching yourself or fapping to pictures of her. Just let the ideas excite you and think of all the possibilities. Once you're in the moment you'll feel free to explore all of it.

Another tip is to be comfortable with yourself in a sexual situation. Think of yourself as her man, her cock, her plow machine. It sounds weird, I know, but it will give you what you need to give her the beans.

Just saying that my husband absolutely loves going dowj on me, but even he doesn't stay hard when that happens. He's too focused. It comes right back up as soon as there's any stimulation, though.

It's normal to not have an erection 100% of the time. Porn has unreasonable standards for men, too.

It is likely that you became over-reliant on porn, though. Abstain from it for a while, and relax. Focus on having fun. You don't necessarily have to orgasm for it to be fun.

You can also try edging for a while. It's really fun and also good for if you're struggling

>>18685605

This exactly. Every now while i was eating her she'd ask how hard i was, and i'd be like "not hard right now, i'm too focused on you baby but that's okay."

Also, any cunnilingus tips? She says i'm really good in that area, but it takes so long to get her to cum, my tongue got tired and i couldn't flicker it very fast while she was climaxing.

>>18686013
If your tongue is getting tired, switch to lips and/or suction to give it a break, or change the movement. Fingering is also a great addition.

You'll also build up strength, skill, and efficiency as you get more used to performing it. You'll also develop a better idea of what she likes over time.

are your condoms big enough? i couldn't get hard the first time i was going to have sex cause my tiny ass condoms were strangulating my dick (not extra long but very fat)

>>18686540

They're kind of too big for me. I'm an average 6 incher but decently girthy (don't care if that's considered small, she loves playing with it and sucking it) and trojans are like 9 inches long. So every time i got soft i had to put a new one on because they would unravel and be hard to get back on.

Why don't they make average sized condoms if 90 something percent of men are average?

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>>18685530
Traitor.

>>18685530
maybe track her fertility and not use a condom so you don't get out of the moment

>>18686835

That might work. She's been tracking it with an app or something. I'll have to talk to her about it.

>>18685605
>You can also try edging for a while. It's really fun and also good for if you're struggling.

Don't do this. You actually develop ED from edging, so taking anon's (good-intentioned, admittedly) advice could end up making your condition worse. It sounds to me like you should try exercising. I don't want to make any assumptions about your life, but from the way you describe sex as being "uncomfortable" and "hot and sweaty", as well as mentioning the fact that it's hard for you to breath makes me think you're not in very good shape. Getting yourself in shape by going jogging or running on a treadmill for twenty minutes to half an hour should help sex much less uncomfortable and help with your erections, as blood flow will improve as well.

Don't forget though, don't worry about your member not functioning too much. The more you worry the more likely your performance is to be affected, so although I'm sure my telling you this is only stressing you out more, don't stress too much. Just let things happen, and your partner should start working itself into shape if you do the same.
Best of luck anon,
Anon.

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Do this. I find it difficult to get in my gf if she's lying flat.

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with no porn life is it still acceptable to fap to social media pics of your hot friends/ex gfs?

or does that count as a porn stimulus?

>>18688175
use your imagination, say no to the electric jew

fap to the cute girl on the bus or smt
>but muh creep

dont let yourself shamed, nothing creepy about wanting to have sex with anyone who isnt your relative

>>18688222
so no social media pics or anything even sfw ones? just straight imagination?

>>18685530

desu it sounds like ur just not that attracted to her

>>18688233
yep

>>18685590
Stop telling people to take boner pills.