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Anonymous
How to get a grip and move on? 2017-09-03 05:08:41 Post No. 18684011
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How to get a grip and move on? 2017-09-03 05:08:41 Post No. 18684011
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I've recently been rejected by a girl I've had a crush on for months, though she was pretty chill about it. Rather than telling me a straight "no", or anything that'd make me keep my distance, even if it meant thinking "wow what a bitch" at first, she went with "I don't know if it'd work out between us", and we quickly changed the subject.
Now, I do know I have no chance with her, in fact she's going out with a friend of mine, which kinda sucks for me. Since confessing my feelings she's been a little closer to me, however, and that's a double edged knife that's making me go haywire: I enjoy spending time with her and will go slightly out of my way to do so, but then torture myself inside because I've got no chance with her and no right to demand attention from her on the phone and whatnot.
The three of us(and some other friends) are hanging out tomorrow, at this Japanese practice event. Keeping my distance from her, as suggested by some, is cumbersome because she's part of my "inner" circle of friends, and that'd mean keeping my distance from all of them.
I've been trying to look for another girl to crush on, but loneliness and helplessness keeps dragging me back into thinking of her. We spent time one-on-one after I told her I liked her, and it went great. Since then I've thought more about things like sharing a meal, watching stuff together, chilling, hugging, cuddling, etc., which I didn't really do before.
How do you guys suggest I get over this girl? I know this text is too long and more of the same, but I just need to hear a few words of advice to hopefully get myself out of this situation. Thanks.
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My dude, how old are you? I remember having similar "problems" a couple of years ago, then maturity hit me and I realized most of those girls I've had crushes on weren't really worth it per say, yes you may feel really attracted towards a specefic individual but by the end of the day you may realize you were in love with the idea of her as a girl rather than her actual person.
I'd say keep your distance but as you said she is in your inner circle, then maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to start socializing with new types of people, I know for a fact sometimes we enclose ourselves and limit our own attitudes to those that are expected from us at a specific group of friends, maybe hanging out with other people may give you a better grasp of who you actually are, without having to base your whole life on a certain girl.
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>>18684056
Thanks for replying!
I'm 20, so basically still a kid.
>you may realize you were in love with the idea of her as a girl rather than her actual person
I recognize that's usually how it goes for young people like me, but I really don't think that's the case. I've known this girl for a long while now and developed this crush as I got to know her more and more.
>maybe hanging out with other people may give you a better grasp of who you actually are
There's a group of people I hang out with at uni, but that's the only place where we get together. No one really wants to do anything outside as a group, though I've gone to a nearby shopping center with one of them after class one day to play the new Crash trilogy.
Alas, it'd fall into a "how do I meet new people and make friends?" thread or something. I just started talking to these guys and they seem okay, so maybe I'll try to hang out with them.
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