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I have a problem /adv/
I'm in a 4 year relationship with a girl who means so much to me. But the fact that I ended up with her because I was lonely and single for 22 years makes me think I was just doing it to cope with that loneliness.
But fast forward to now, I'm living with her in her home state, her parents really like me and expect us to get engaged any day now, and there's no signs that anything is going bad that either of us have expressed to anyone.
Now here's where the problem comes in.
I've made probably the best friend I think I've ever made the last few months from work. She's a girl and we spend almost every day together when we're working and we have the best time of our lives and, and she knows that I have a girlfriend.
My girlfriend know about her and how close of friends we are, but I'm positive that I feel more than friends and actually love her. And back at home there are days when I just feel like I don't love my girlfriend anymore, and we fight about the stupidest of things. I just realize we don't have as many interests as I originally thought we did. I don't know what to do right now.
I know my girlfriend is also the type of person who will NOT take any hint of breakup well, even go as far as to be near suicidal at the thought of us not being together. and I'm the kind of person who isn't capable of hurting anyone or causing them distress.
I just don't know what to do here. Sometimes I wish I could go back to before I ended up with her and stop this whole thing in it tracks preemptively, but I can't and now I'm stuck here.
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love the one you're with
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>>18683643
Two problems.
1. Will you be upset if you don't get the other girl?
2. How did you feel initially while you were in your relationship.
Also how old are you OP?
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>>18683721
1.) I'm already upset that I'm not with her now.
2.)I felt happy that because I felt wanted, I've only had rejection in my life initially and having someone who wanted me felt like bliss.
And I'm 26
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>>18683730
Alright here's the issue I have with this.
Could you be falling in lust with the other girl? Could you deal with her bullshit?
Secondly if you aren't in love then you need to discuss it and break it off. Its just going to hurt for longer. Its not healthy. However if you start longing to go back to gf 1 I'll straight up murder you anon.
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>>18683749
>Could you be falling in lust with the other girl?
This was one of the first things I checked through myself when I started feeling this way. I have been happier with her then I have ever been with anyone, and I'll give a little more detail. My line of work is video production, I'm given raw footage every week and I have to work with it day in and day out. My current girlfriend has no interest in what I do and even days where I say I'm so proud of the work I put out today she never watches anything that gets released that I worked on. However this other girl is the one who motivates me and even helps me with any project I need help on, and I thank her every day for how much she helps out.
>Its just going to hurt for longer.
I'm more scared of how it would hurt her, or how she would even hurt herself If I broke it off.
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>>18683768
Going to hurt either way anon. Honestly... I'd talk to a actual therapist before doing this.
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>>18683777
Unfortunately, I'm in no situation to afford a therapist at this time...
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>>18683822
Ask your parents for money... If worst comes to worst talk to a therapist and work out a payment plan.
If you have enough money to be in a relationship , you have enough money to have therapy and stay mentally healthy.
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>>18683768
Sounds like your current girlfriend is not even trying. She's just taking you for granted. I don't blame you if you can't feel anything for her anymore. Just don't make a habit of this.
I'd first confess to your current best friend and see if she feels the same for you. Then I'd dump the gf.
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You're with the person that helped build you up, now you want to ditch them because you're hot shit now.
Exhibit A: proof that men can also be hoes.
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>>18683926
Orrrr it may be that he doesn't love her anymore. Its a natural thing.
Being a "hoe" would be cheating on his girlfriend without breaking up. Or going in in a relationship that doesn't matter anymore.
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>>18683643
Tell her guilt tripping someone for not being interested in you is shitty. Explain to her that it's not your job to sacrifice your autonomy to make her feel better and her attraction to you doesn't make her well-being your responsibility.
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