Complicated relationships

Been in love with the same person for 10 years. Lives on the other side of the planet and treats me like I dont exist online, but is content with me whenever I visit. Nothing compares to this person. No matter how hard I try; it always come back to him. He acknowledges that I'am pain and wants me to stop. I cant; my mind has long decided that this was the person I was going to marry. I cant help but wonder what my life would have been like if I have never met him or if I grew up where he lives. The story still continues on.

Currently dating a girl right now. She's really cool, and I feel like we have a good connection. I have fun with her too.

However, she's bipolar has lied to me multiple times (about her past or small things..), has PTSD from a rape, anorexia, and anxiety..

I can deal with her illness mostly, the hard part is trusting someone who has cheated on all of her exes.

The sex is bomb though..

>>18682772
sounds tough,
im in a similar, tho far less extreme, situation.
3 years after the break-up, i dont want her back, BUT time spent with her is always so genuine,
i simply cannot hold back and approach her even tho she gives me little to no incentive cause of complicated reasons.
Wish i met somebody with whom id feel the same way..

>>18682561
Had a girlfriend I dated off and on for years. We had a lot of issues. We were young and both terribly emotionally immature. Then we lost a pregnancy, which fucked things up for a while. But we kept coming back together because we loved each other. She was mugged for a necklace I gave her, and ended up dying in her sleep from an aneurysm she got from getting hit in the head during the attack. We were supposed to get back together that weekend.

>>18682782
>I can deal with her illness mostly

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

No you can't.

You think you can, but you can't. It will kill you or the relationship eventually.

>>18682805
shit, so sorry, man.
At least you two've managed to sort some things out, it didn't end as a bitter affair.

>>18682808
Fair enough. I'm not stupid enough to be blind to that (very real) possibility.

If it goes wrong, I'll move on.

Met at a translation at 5 am, started hanging out, I had to move out of the country and we did the whole long distance thing. Had everything in common, chemistry off the chains, connection, all that jazz. Never loved more anyone in my life and never done more for anyone else.. and he went on and broke things off multiple times over weird reasons, blamed me said he didn't trust me, caught feelings for other people, the whole ordeal. Broke it off after nearly a year and despite of everything he put me through I'm debating in going back because I'm not sure if I'll love anyone the same, I just can't explain it.. Why are people and relationships so complicated man...

>>18682561
>dated a year then moved in together
>within two weeks she wants to move out giving lame excuse but ok
>disappears the weekend after moving out and when I finally talk to her she wants a break but please lets stay in touch
>continue to talk, even see each other occasionally and fuck some
>hear she's staying with some guy with a corvette
>ask and she says he's just a friend and she doesn't stay at his house every night
>hear a pregnant girl wants to kick her ass because shes sleeping with her husband
>ask about this and she denies and wants to move back in with me, please I love you and know that now
>idiot and say yes and we are giddy for a week
>then the next 3 great but see cracks, same cracks as before
>after a month she's getting text and hiding her phone
>six weeks in she wants to have a girls night out on a Friday
>comes in 6 am, drunk and refuses to answer any questions about where she was or who she was with
>next Friday she informs me she will go out again with her friends and I say no and if she leaves she can stay gone, she leaves
>hear from her two days later she wants to pick up her things, ok so I pack and set them outside and leave
>find out she had moved in with her boss at work and she had been asked to leave her job because they were having a relationship
>he drove a corvette
>she had also fucked a married man with a pregnant wife and the wife had keyed her car and threatened her and the only reason she wanted to move back in with me

Long distance relationships never work. If youre in one right now then break it up or move in with her at some point. Talking based on a really bad ldr relationship I had.

>>18682927
Never is a strong word, my friend.

I have never connected with somebody like I did with her and I don't think I'll ever connect that well with anybody again

>meet girl
>everything about her seems perfect
>turns out has boyfriend
>still talking almost every day
>everything she says makes her even closer to perfect
>wants the exact same things that I want in life
>complains about her boyfriend nearly every day
>sends images of conversations with him where all they do is argue
>says she no longer loves him
>eventually tells me that she loves me
>insists leaving boyfriend will make him sad
>refuses to leave boyfriend because she's certain he'll be sad

Not sure how much I can take of this. I should move on, but I know I'll never meet someone this perfect again (except for the fucking boyfriend, but, yano), and I'm not sure I will ever have the energy to commit to someone like I've had to her. Everything feels like shit compared to her.

>>18682927
Long distance relationships can and do work, as long as both people are willing to put in time and effort. I've been in a LDR for over 5 years now

>>18682978

People like that need some growing-up to do. Keeping a dead relationship around because you don't want to hurt the other person is legitimately more cruel than breaking up. People like her just want to be "cool" with everyone even if they have to lie out of their ass on a daily basis.

>>18682996
I'm well aware of that. It is fucking cruel. I've told her that she can't take everyone's feelings into consideration. But, alas...

>>18682927
I'm in a ldr and I want it to work ;-;

>>18683018
Put in the effort and don't be a cheating faggot and you can.

>>18683018
Don't lose hope! LDRs can be pretty demanding, but if the relationship is worth it, you'll both put in the effort. I didn't throw away my LDR just because he moved 6 hours away

>>18682984
Good for you but in mine my gf had constant trust issues. Also when i was walking in the mall there was this hoe that sucked my dick and she told me she fucked like 5 dudes before me and shes in an ldr with some guy. Physical contact is important, if i cant touch her then i wont even bother.

>>18683042
For me, I'd met him and we were in a relationship before he moved away. Not being able to physically touch has been hair-pulling frustrating and miserable at times, especially before my sex drive lessened (thank fucking god). But after already starting the relationship before he had to move, and thinking about the way he made me feel, I couldn't end it and settle for a new relationship purely because it was local

When people evaluate the possibility of being in a relationship they always think about the qualities of the other person. Is he attractive? Funny? Kind? Considerate?

These are obviously important things, but it's equally important to ask yourself: am I ready? If you're a mess, if you have severe self-esteem issues, irrational anger, self-hatred, depression, or other things, you will probably end up sabotaging the relationship, no matter how perfect the other person is.

If the person you're with is broken or sick, no matter how much you love them, no matter how much you think the sun shines out of their ass, they won't be able to reciprocate that affection in a healthy manner. Maybe one day they'll come back to you when they feel comfortable with themselves, but until then, the smartest thing to do is to let them go.

Basically, when your partner does something severe, like cheat, you need to be able to tell if it was genuinely a stupid mistake that they'll never do again, or if it's a sign of a deeper problem. Relationships can be mended and trust can be regained, but only if both people are actively working towards it. If something is lagging behind, uninterested or incapable of doing the work, things are destined to fail.

I think that's the most important thing to keep in mind.

>>18682772
We have things in common, I, too, have been in love with someone who lives on the other side of the planet, for the past 5 years... Never met irl though, I think I would feel 100x worse, if that happened. He doesn"t ignore me online, we have a nice texting relationship, we text a lot, it's really pleasant. He is part of my daily life, can't not think of him or want to talk to him, to the point where it gets too much sometimes, he's patient though.

>my mind has long decided that this was the person I was going to marry. I cant help but wonder what my life would have been like if I have never met him or if I grew up where he lives.
That feel... I spend a lot of time imagining all kinds of scenarios where would be able to be together, eventually, I want to make it happen.

I tried to kill those feelings for him by dating someone else, but I can't get him out of my head, and I feel guilty for it.

>>18682561
The story is out there already as I was asking /adv/ for help several times but I'll just throw in a small recap.

>Start uni three years ago
>New city, moving into a dorm room with my friend of six years
>First day of uni, I sat next to a cute girl. I'm stressed as fuck because I don't know how I'll do, and I'm content with myself so didn't give it much thought. Let's call the girl W.
>A concert of my then-favourite band at my city within the first week of me living there.
>Meet up with local fandom, another cute girl there. This one will be V (they have the same name, btw)
>Everyone is orbiting her hard, so I make it a goal for myself to be polite but not orbit. It works and we have a really good time.
>After few months of shenanigans V becomes my girlfriend. I lose my virginity to her. By this time W and I talk sometimes.
>I'm crazy in love. Blasting through my savings on restaurants, trips, gifts, you name it. She's poor as fuck, skips school, has depression.
>After a year the money ends, she gets kicked out of the school, we fight more and more. I'm depressed myself. Near-suicidal thoughts, constantly asking my parents for money and then feeling like shit.
>W has a boyfriend now, and we started talking more during that year. She became my friend, and, by proxy, her boyfriend became my buddy too. (You can probably see where this is going)
>I'm honestly not feeling anything towards her, but one night I think to myself "I chose the wrong one". My V is an insufferable brat that failed basic education and drains me emotionally, while W is studying with me, knows how to handle herself, has interests and is a very good and reliable friend.
>V sleeps (meaning cuddling and actually sleeping, not sex) with her gay friend because of reasons
>I drop her
>I have a hard time without her, we have a month or so of some on and off stuff
>I'm heartbroken, depressed, poor, somehow I managed to only fail one subject, so no losses there.
(continued)

>>18682561
Nope, never, and I'm very glad about the times I didn't. Sometimes I wish I was nicer, but that's not the same as reviving a relationship that is obviously doomed to fail.

>>18683277
>W and her boyfriend help me greatly by just taking my mind off of things
>One evening while drinking with them I learn that W had a girlfriend before her current boyfriend. At this point I'm still not feeling anything beyond friendship towards her.
>Summer comes, we go out drinking with some people, we have a ton of fun, hug each other goodbye and go. During the break I have a short episode with another girl near my hometown, but due to distance we mutually agree to become just friends (she's still my friend to this day)
>W's boyfriend messages me out of the blue asking for help in choosing a gift for W's birthday
>We hatch a perfect plan together
>Months pass, her birthday comes, she's happy.
>Time to go back to uni. Want to arrange an evening for drinks, as usual.
>Out of the blue W messages me: "Hey, just so you know, I've broken up with him. I didn't want to put you in any awkward situation"
>What
>Whole next semester is weird. We still hang around with her and her (now) ex, though only in uni. I drink only with her now. But it's fun anyway.
>She admits that it just didn't work out, and she wanted to end it to be fair towards him.
>We spend more and more time together, as she sometimes uses me to avoid him. We study together at the library and start scoring amazing results at tests. It's obvious that some synergy between us is growing.
>All those happy moments and time spent together finally plant an Idea in my head. A simple conclusion that since we're such good friends, we'd make a perfect couple.
>Next semester her ex is completely out of the picture because he chose different subjects.
>She's into movies very much, so I spend countless hours with her sitting in cinemas and genuinely enjoying myself. Never made a move
>I'm always just waiting for the right moment, always thinking it's too soon and I should improve myself /our friendship first.
(Continued)

>>18682561
aanother LDR. Met her online and started talking every day, even though we live on opposite sides of the planet. After being friends we were in a relationship for a year or so, then her depression got bad and she left me and left school and stopped talking with most people.
It was very harsh on me cause she cut off all communication, but I kept loving her and thinking of her every day. Later we started talking again, and i managed to go visit her twice, but again her anxiety and depression had been acting up, with her cancelling dates on me and ending up at the hospital.
Last time i went I left her a letter confessing that i still loved her and asked her to stop talking to me if she didn't have feelings for me anymore. She has blocked me after that, and that was 6 months ago.
I still love her, and doubt ill ever find someone with a similar chemistry, but her issues made this whole thing very hurtful. The breakup was more than 2 years ago.
I think she still thinks about me, but dunno if shell ever unblock me and contact me, she is very prideful.

>>18682561
skip jump to the present past

>>18683324
>I can't gauge her feelings in any way. It's obvious were good friends but she's an introverted type and I'm confused more often.
>I realize I start having expectations towards her, and see it as a red flag. Either I spill the beans soon or it'll start hurting our friendship, which I promised myself I'll never let happen.
>Finally, during our classic movie-beer routine I tell her that I've crushed on her for about 9 months now.
>I tell her that she's first and foremost a great friend and regardless of her response I'll do whatever it takes to not put a strain on that friendship.
>She's flattered, and a bit sad, because she has to say no.
>Turns out she was not bi after all. Her last relationship made her realise that.
>She's also crushing on her good friend, but they tried it once and it didn't work out.
>I joke that hey, at least she's not refusing because of my shortcomings
>"Come on, if I were into men we'd be a thing for a long time now"
>I'm happy. We spend the evening explaining everything to each other, joking, and having the best of times.
>With no more secrets our bond is beyond unbelievable. We are even closer and we both feel it.
>I wake up the next day and realize that despite her saying no in my head she's still my girlfriend, just unofficial.
>This goes on for some time. I tell her about this once or twice and we always land at the same conclusion - nothing can be done.
>At some point we're both drunk but in different cities, we have an intimate conversation about how fucked up things are.
>I'll be getting my own room soon, and I tell her that I'll finally be able to invite her to drink at my place.
>We joke for a bit and the topic of getting drunk and having sex comes up.
>We both agree and swear that it would be a bad thing and we should never let it happen.
>Consciously I wouldn't want this to happen. Unconsciously - I still dream about this scenario beginning our relationship.

(Last part incoming)

>>18683378

And here we are. This is now. I have no luck with women lately, but I try, just for the sake of not focusing on her so much. But I'm aware that chances of someone so compatible existing are slim. Not even mentioning the effort it would take to build a bond as strong as the one I have with W. Three years of stepping into adulthood together are not something easily replaceable.

Each day is complicated. It's easy to be happy with her, it feels natural to choose her as a partner in any endeavour, be it a party, a concert, or a project in uni. Of course she's not perfect but she's also not miserable. She's not using her imperfections to drain others. She's my partner, in almost every meaning of the word - but not a romantic one. I can't stop thinking about her. I can't imagine my future any other way than us together. It's often totally okay - because I often don't need anyone to feel good - but when I get lonely my thoughts turn to her always. Things look like they look not because of a flaw in either of us. Nothing can be done, nothing can be fixed. And at this point if I got a chance to try being her boyfriend I'd be afraid, because should it fail I'd probably break my promise and couldn't be just her friend anymore.

Anyway, this is my story. I have a great friend that I want to spend my life with, but she can't even consider me as a potential partner. And it slowly eats me up from inside.

Ok I'll try to keep it brief
>married to a girl I've been with for 8 years, no kids
>had some rough times in last couple of years, never any cheating but trust and forgiveness issues from her
>running up debt in trying to fix things (holidays, meals etc)
>i got diagnosed with depression
>she clearly has anxiety disorder and OCD she refuses to get help for
>sex has stopped
>don't much like our personal/working lives and sometimes reflects on our relationship
>talk about splitting but both prefer to work on it
>decide to move abroad together and work out there
>be abroad for most of a year
>i feel much more chill and happy about life, all sunshine and freedom
>do everything together
>she's somewhat happier but still a bit restless and doesn't seem to like me
>still almost no sex
>eventually start making loads of new friends together (moreso her because she's more outgoing)
>partying cranks up to literally a daily basis
>loads of foreign men trying to hit on her
>we keep falling out because I feel she's never forthright in rejecting them, she likes to play along for a bit
>one night drunk without arguing she tells me she wants a divorce
>takes it back an hour later
>I have to go back home to fix some things and want a break from the whole place
>post all this on /adv/ and all agree I should split
>both agree to have a break for maybe 3-4 weeks while I'm at home (tried this before and got on better than ever, like dating from the beginning again)
1/2

>>18683470
>be at home sorting shit out for the following year, even though doubtful we'll be together at all
>a week later she gets raped
>she had got a lift home from someone she barely knew and he pulled over, choked her and forced himself onto her
>feel sick, terrible, tell her I'm flying out asap
>she refuses, gets really insistent that no one should come including her parents
>wants to deal with it on her own
>eventually tells a few friends who listen to and help her so she's less guarded about it
>she agrees we should end our break and I should fly out
>then U-turns again on the whole idea, thinks we should break up
>doesn't want a penny from me
>she says she knows she'll regret splitting up but just doesn't feel it anymore
>few days later sends me some nudes
>chatting for hours every day now
>but still doesn't want me to come
I'm just saying I don't want it to end like this and we could at least spend a week together as friends before we decide to separate for good. I can't end it like this when she's mentally ruined. Friends who don't even know about the rape keep asking me wtf I'm still doing here and I can't explain the whole picture to them.

>>18682772
I can relate to your feels.
However, I have decided that I will change my nuerological associations and turn my life in a different direction. I take excellent care of myself, surround myself with love and kindness. It hurts like ripping my own flesh off my physical body but I sear I will get FUCKEN past this because there is no way in hell I will live hoping someone values me in 10 years. I need love now. Right FUCKEN now. Not in the future if there is a chance. I could sell my self short to anyone who would jointly lust with me. I don't want it. I want to enjoy someone with every part of my being. My very essence mixed with whom I truely consider to be ideal. The ultimate nourishment of life, lust and love.

Recently I've been hanging out with my ex a lot. I'm not sure if he even cares anymore or why I'm hanging out with him.

He used to text me randomly asking me to come over when weren't dating.
Although now that we're hanging out often, he just doesn't seem to reciprocate anymore.
I'm tired of this feeling being stringed along.

>>18683483
Shes fucking retarded, lol you sure found a keeper.

>>18683846
good luck, anon, honestly, i wish I had your determination, the prospects of "looking elsewhere" dont seem very favourable atm for me..
( im this guy >>18682802 )

>>18682927
True...

I've learned the hard way, time and time again and more recently went through one that truly hit deep with how things went.

LDR is a meme and love is too tbqhwyf

She destroyed my ability to love others. Everything she ever told me was a fucking lie. Every promise, every last word was a lie. But that's fine because it wasn't at her expense. She doesn't deserve happiness she's a terrible person inside and out I hope her heart stops

>>18684272
3 years in this insane senario.
It was the best feeling I ever felt.
When people discribe love in movies etc you realize when you feel love that it is unlike any definition. It is living breathing wonderful love.
I would do anything required and more. For the 10+ time he stood me up. I have traveled around the world and can attract rich powerful men everywhere, but not him. He is pretty much homeless and has nothing to his name. How do I explain logic to my heart?
I need love want and crave romantic affection, I am so starved. I just don't care to find a replacement.
Life is too short to spend my life wishing he could love me. You do or don't it is that simple. There are millions of people. I have only date 5. I have options.

>Long distance relationship
>She travels backwards and forth to me, complete devotion
>I move farther away
>We break up
>She wants to come visit
>I buy her a massive dildo, effectively cucking myself
>agree to meet her when she comes over but tell myself it's not for sex
>we meet up, have sex
>she moves back
>tell her it wont work out between us
>continue talking anyway
>she cucks me
>I look-on from afar, through social media
>depressed.jpg
>love being cucked wtf

>>18684963
have you tried no contact (you probably did) and if so, how long did it last?
I managed a year, but we had an arguement to start it off... and I was the one textin her.

>>18685024
>>18685024
I have but it's complicated. I have spurts of lots of contact then no contact for months. I am now at the point where regardless of his knowledge or lack there of I have to move forward. There are some things that he doesn't know, and every time I try to explain the wrong words come out. I am just done of putting us through this. Sometimes it seems better just to walk away. It has been a week since I last contacted him. I realize he will never think of me the same way.

>>18685108
good luck with the effort later on, stay strong !
do it for the both of us, since im in the
>never think of me the same way
but with friendship.. which is kinda difficult to reason around, unlike love,
where you can just do the 180, I reckon.

>>18682561
Oh man op if you're still here, I go a hell of a story for you.

>5 years ago I become friends with a girl
>Unfortunately shes' married
>After about a year, we become good friends
>I was always afraid to make a move because she was very conservative, traditional woman that you dont see often
>Dresses very very conservative and modestly
>But I can't resist anymore and ask her to hang out
>This was only after she casually mentioned to me that her man works out of state
>She said let me back to ya which I knew she just didn't wanna look too easy
>She ends up giving me her number couple days later
>We end up hanging out that week
>My plan was to hit it a few times and quit, but it was a catastrophic failure
>She ends up spending the next few nights with me
>Then this turns into an every night thing
>Few months later she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me
>I try to stop it and say no, I know you can't leave because you said you could never do it
>Because she's weak and her ultra conservative traditional religious family will freak out.
>But she she claims she wants to so I say ok
>This drags on for a year and basically living with each other. I fall in love with her.
>She never leaves
>He moves back so the staying the night together is over
>We keep it going for another year before she finally breaks it off with me devastating me
>Fast forward 6 months and she's breaking down saying shes sorry
>Wants to leave and be with me
>I give her chance, she actually finally leaves
>Her family and him are harassing her non stop
>I'm pushing her to get divorce so she doesnt back out
>About a month later, she is supposed to be at work; but I had a feeling. I go to her old place and she had went back home.
>I pack her stuff and tell her she can't come back.
>We don't see each other for a year
>Year later she messages me and apologizes
>I accept and try to move on
>But she keeps pushing to see me
>I'm weak and stupid and agree
>Same shit again
>continue

>>18685224
>For about 3 months we see each other and she keeps saying she wants to leave and doesnt again
>I break it off
>3 months later AGAIN
>Our paths cross
>This time she tries, I'm almost over it and tell her I'm just wanting sex
>She pulls the I wanna be with you routine again but never leaves
>We go on for about 7 months before I break it off
>I start trying to see other girls and it pisses her off
>She's done nothing but try to sabatoge and mess up any potential relationship I could have
>So girls naturally decide to stay away from me
>I eventually tell her to stay out of my life because I want girls to know me and her are done
>That was last time we talked and that was about a month ago
>I'm not in love anymore
>A good feeling but a little bittersweet at the same time

It's all my fault that I ever let it get that way. But you get weak when you're in love. I've basically died emotionally in all this and will probably never be the same. I feel like a shell now. Pretty much numb to any and all feelings for the possiblity of a relationship.

I know the post was long, but I hope it helps.

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Met a girl at work I liked, we worked together for a year and I felt nothing for her.
But a couple of weeks ago we started getting to know each other and flirting.
After I while I started like her and find her physically attractive(she's not my usual type).
So she asks me to dinner and goes alright, she wasn't feeling well but wouldn't reschedule or leave early, I found out later she vomited in the bathroom.
The date was alright but could have been better.
So I muster up the courage to tell her I like her on birthday.
She really wanted me to come but I told her I didn't want to but latler I surprised her, she was so happy to see me.
But then it got weird, she started avoiding me acting weird but I thought she might be nervous, I could see her friends whispering and talking about me throughout the night.
I eventually got talking to her and told her I liked her, she said she just wanted to be friends and I was fine with that.
At least I got my answer.

Here's where it starts getting fucked up, an hour after I confessed I went home because I had work the next day.
I woke up the next morning with a snapchat from her.
It was a picture of a giant fucking love bite, she brought some scumbag home to her house and he stayed over.
Next time we were chatting in work she told me she had him in her bed and had to sneak him out the next morning.
I thought it was a little fucked up to describe shit like that to a guy you know who likes you, I was not angry or upset just really fucking confused.
In the past few weeks more shit has been happening like that, she has ghosted me on social media we don't snapchat or facebook anymore at all and if I try I get ignored.
Yesterday she asked what's a good place to take a guy for food, I find out this is the guy she has obsessed over for months.
Last night she sent me a snapchat of him.

I don't know what fucking games she playing but it drives me nuts, I would not touch with a barge pole but it still bothers me.
I mean what the fuck!

>>18685227
idk what to say.
that is fucking awful.

>>18685499
Tell me about it.

But this is furthest removed from the feelings I've ever been. Most of the time I don't think of her at all anymore. And it's made me a bitter person.

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>>18682561
>meet a girl this past summer while working for an outdoor expedition company in the southwest US
>qt as fuck, outdoorsy, laid back,!has overcome a lot bad shit in her life and it's made her so strong and attractive
>have a lot in common with her
>we talk for hours and hours while out on contract
>season ends just as we're getting to really know one another
>both of us are slow movers, don't really hook up or feel comfortable with stuff like that
>it's been a few weeks now since he season ended
>learn from another female friend at the company that she has a huge crush on me
>we each live on the other side of the country
>there's a chance that I'll see her again next summer and might stay in that general region for good

I really, REALLY don't want to become one of those "m-muh oneitis" faggots but I can feel it happening. She's amazing.

HELP

>>18685782
do it, phaggot, this actually has a chance of being something great, unlike my situation..
do it for us both ;_;

>>18682953
What it was like?

>>18682978

She is a shit person. Everyone argues, she treats you well because you feed some need in her for attention. You will never know the true soul of someone else but I am confident if you knew hers you would no longer love her. You should put her out of your mind for good. She is not healthy for you or for herself.

let me share this here, I did earlier in another thread but it feels >relevant
here.

PART 1
It’s been so hard to do anything, when all I can feel is this horrible heartbreak. I’ll try and start from the beginning and keep it simple.
I met a lovely girl a while back, online. She was there when I needed someone, she was my best friend, and I trusted her with my heart. She reciprocated, and even thought our relationship was long distance, we managed to make it work, and I visited her two times stayed for a while, we rented an apartment and we were together and it was wonderful, I loved every minute of it. We had issues; she has depression and really bad social anxiety. We had issues but I was always patient and we could always talk things through; we were honest with each other. We went through some really bad shit together, we were family and I honestly thought I was going to marry her. However, I started feeling she didn’t appreciate me earlier this year, I realized she didn’t do a lot for me, she didn’t pay attention to me or even got me anything for my birthday which was kinda hurtful. She didn’t take me out at all when we were together, and didn’t want to help around the house, at the time I was just happy to be with her, I still am and cherish that time we spent together. We talked about it; we decided that we would open up our relationship. I was nervous about this but she needed touching and I thought I could get something for myself too. I set boundaries, but she jumped right to it. She ignored them and did what she wanted and didn’t stop to think about how it’d made me feel she fucked a guy the first chance she could. She confessed after a while, because she freaked out but I was too hurt it didn’t feel like she cheated because I knew about it all the time, but she didn’t respect the boundaries I set, I asked her to please not fuck anyone, that she had to tell me but the first warm body that crossed her path, she fucked.

>>18686040
PART 2
She needed to be held, she loves to be touched, and that’s how she expresses her love. I feel differently I place importance in words and feelings more than touch but we all love differently.
I broke up with her but due to our history; I wanted to stay in touch with her, because I still felt love and warmth for her. I felt what happened was a mistake rather than a treason.
While this was happening, I started getting sweet with one of her friends. He liked my words, and I felt like he would appreciate me, but in hindsight, he was only using me to get money out of me. He manipulated me, He toyed with my heart and led me on and then went back to his ex-girlfriend, things aren’t black and white, and I think he just panicked because of several things that are going on in his life.
I asked him if I should keep daydreaming about him. He said he still loved his ex and went back to her. I remember when he broke up with his girlfriend, and I was breaking up with mine I asked him for help, he told me that we cannot set ourselves on fire for them, just to keep them warm. I failed to notice he was doused in gasoline and holding a lit match in his lips. Looking back I never really felt he appreciated me a lot, but I wanted him to, the only time he actually said nice things to me was when he was blind drunk and the things he said made me feel good, he was sweet and open and I wanted that. I wanted to be with him.
We planned a trip together before he told me no, but after he told me, I had already paid for everything, not refundable and my vacation time at work was approved, so I had to take it anyway, almost forcibly. I wish I never went on that trip but I felt I wanted some closure; I wanted to at least as friends have some nice memories with him. I asked him if I could have some days away to visit my ex, but he was so offended, he said that he was going to be personally hurt if I did that, that he wouldn’t be able to look at me anymore.

>>18686048
PART 3
He said we had to keep it a secret from her, or she’d flip. I agreed with him, mostly not to lose him either, or to hurt him, to make him happy.I started getting closer to my ex around this time too, and we were talking about trying to mend our relationship. I realized that we never lost our friendship, we never lost our bond of years, that I still had a lot of feelings, a lot of warmth for her, that I love her. I felt bad for not telling her about the trip but I decided to lie about it. I know she’d be hurt if she knew and there wasn’t anything I could do to not take it. I wish I would’ve asked her to come along instead, I wish I would told this boy that I wanted to love that he was manipulative, when I was most vulnerable, that I should’ve stood up for myself and confronted him about it, about everything I knew in my heart but didn’t want to accept.
We had fun together in the trip, him and me. Mostly I wanted to say goodbye to him. I knew we couldn’t be and that he was back together with his girlfriend. I was fine with all this, even though it hurt; it made me feel I wasn’t good enough, that I was never good enough but honestly? He was just leading me on; he manipulated me when I was most vulnerable. But then, I think he also wanted to have feelings for me, that he hated himself for it, and here’s why. ON the fourth day of our trip, we had a fancy dinner, and then when we went home we started drinking. We got stupidly blind, and went to bed. He asked me to hold him, to cuddle with him and I felt good. He said he wished he wasn’t in a relationship, that he wished we could fuck without the repercussions. I kissed him; I gave him hickeys as he moaned and dry humped me as I held him. He said I want this. And immediately after he started crying and said, but I love my girlfriend so much. I was shocked so I stopped; I said I’m sorry and got off the bed crying. I went outside for a cigarette.

>>18686051
PART 4
He jumped in the shower, gathered some stuff and called an uber at 3am. I felt like a fucking rapist, I felt so bad, I hated what I did. The next day he asked me to get out of the apartment so that he could get his stuff. I left his stuff outside so he could pick it up. After that, I felt terrible and my ex, she asked me what happened? I came clean… even though it was hard, I wanted to come clean. Too many lies, too big a mess for me to hold on, I was unstable and freaking out. I told her everything I could, everything I wasn’t too terrified to tell her. That I was at a 3 hr drive from her, but that I couldn’t drive there, I ran out of money, that I kept to myself and lied because I was so ashamed of what I had done, that I couldn’t even see myself in the mirror, so I couldn’t face her, I could barely face myself.
She forgave everything; she was still there for me helping me deal with it. Told me how he was involved in it too, that he was just at fault as I was, that he probably felt ashamed and just shifted blame, and wouldn’t acknowledge what he did. I came back home and the next day, somehow, she figured out the dates of the trip. She discovered my lies and said, that was the last straw.

Blocked me everywhere.

Haven’t seen her since.

>>18686053
PART 5
In a way I’m proud of her, she shouldn’t let anyone treat her like this. I’m glad she had the fortitude to let go. But I’m also devastated and wrecked, because I don’t know who I am anymore. I know every shitty thing that I did, every single one, every lie I said. I thought I was a good person, but I feel like such a piece of shit, I feel like a fucking villain.
I miss her; I miss the friendship I had with her, everything we shared together. I miss having that. I miss her so much and I’m so ashamed of what I did, so guilty and stupid, and so heartbroken. I know I hurt everyone else that was important to me, that I had feelings for, but having her leave was so hurtful, I would love to go back in time and take everything back, but I can’t. I’ve tried to apologize because that’s the only thing I could do. I am repentant and so fucking sorry.
I wish she could come back and we could talk. I made a fucking mess and I’m so sorry... I’m a person and I fucked up so bad. We grew up together, and I disrespected that, I didn’t value her, and I hurt her and it’s something I can’t take back. I asked for forgiveness but I probably don’t deserve anything. After all the emails the texts, I just have to let go and try to be a better person, and not this monster I became, because of my emotions, but I still miss her, and I still love her and I wish I could make things right.

this thread is a giant wall of text by self indulgent bores

>>18686059

Yeah, but this is an anonymous imageboard on a hardly frequented and slow board, who gives a shit.

>>18686059
I'm glad you're happy with your life, anon
now fuck off

>>18682808
Sadly this

I'm not telling you to go and dump that broad
Just be really cautious

To put it in perspective my last girlfriend left me at the end of April
She was extremely depressed all her life and had anxiety and other fun shit like that

I put everything in her


She fucked me up so badly I went to therapy and couldn't even function

I'm better now but dude be cautious
You don't want to experience what I experienced

>>18686392
I can do a greentext if anyone actually gives a fuck

>>18685996
You're right. You absolutely are.
Yet, I can't tear myself away from her. Emotions make us dumb, as much as an edgelord and faggot that makes me sound.

>>18686396
if you feel the need to type it, ill read it, chum

>>18686421
Alright

>so be me
>youngfag (18)
>total virg
>started talking to this girl I barely knew
>she's blonde and chubby
>no model but I like her anyways
>she's also a virgin
>start dating and shits going great
>her depression bums her out a lot but she didn't talk about it to much
>Coke Christmas mummy super conservative parents found out we had sex
>was hardly able to see her after that like maybe once a week but we were always texting
>her depression was really bad she cried herself to sleep all the time and she stopped trying for me
>I dumped her cause I couldn't see her around the 6 month mark

Thought it was a mistake so we started talking again

>didn't last long
>about a month in she sent me a text
>said that she felt used for sex and that I manipulated her into it (I understand why she felt like that but she never told me till it was too late)
>I feel like a monster and a rapist, I hate myself
>tried apologizing but she said it was insincere

>she'd talk all kinds of shit behind my back to mutual friends, probably told them my secrets I trusted in her, those friends probably think I raped her or something but honestly no one outside of her close friends believed I'd do that shit
>she started posting on social media to make me jealous
>rebounded to some guy and rubbed that in my face via social media (it's 100% intentional)


It's been 4 months now
My dumbass still cares about her and wishes she'd come back
Still feel bad for hurting her
(Also wasn't there for her when her depression was super bad)


My great story for anyone who cares to give advice:/

>>18686491
right, you're still rather young and while you probably won't forget your first, in this case, there's no reason to linger on, she's a cunt.
You'll meet plenty of (better) women, and as far as I can tell, apart from the v-card thingy, there's nothing too special about her, consider yourself unburdened.

>>18685490
You should tell her that you don't have a bad opinion of her and thatyou can have normal and friendly conversations but to fuck right off with this shit.

>>18686491
>>18686514
This anon sounds right. I'm >>18686054

And i know people with mental ilness are really hard to work with in a relationship. I know you love her anon, but sometimes its better for everyone to let go.

>>18686514
>>18686544
Thank you both
And >>18686544 you're gonna be better, get some therapy, that shit helps and in due time you'll be back on your feet

>>18686420
You're just an option to her. Focusing all of your heart on her while she doesn't makes you the weaker party here and will absolutely hurt you in the long run because you're being played with.

I'd lose my patience with this kind of thing quickly and walk away to spare me the role of the beta orbiter that makes you lose all dignity. Go on and make your mistakes, getting fucked up like that will make you wiser, it did it for me

>>18686565
Therapy sounds good but its not something I can do soon. I dont want to be this person anymore, feeling this monstrous and evil. I wish i could be forgiven but all i have is wounds and scars and everything I did to everyone is stuck in my mind and in my heart and everyone I lost

>>18686531
I plan too, we are going to dinner next saturday.
I plan to tell her I just want to be her friend but she should be more aware of her bullshit.

>>18686630
People don't generally like being confronted like that. Are you sure you wanna be friends with her? I think one of the reasons shed do that is to make you jealous and measure your reaction, maybe she thinks shed want something with you based on your reaction, which is a shitty way to find out or maybe shes just fucking with you.

>>18686640
I just want her to cut the shit because we work together.
The ideal situation would for it to go back to before I confessed her, back to harmless flanter.
How she has treated me in the last few weeks has made lose respect for her as a potential girlfriend.
If she asked me out tomorrow I would say no.
I would mainly put it down to her being young and dumb, she mostly hangs around with guys who pump and dump women so she probably thinks we don't have feeling.
>maybe she thinks shed want something with you based on your reaction
What do you mean by this? She rejected me and told me she wants to be friends, I doubt she wants anything with me.
>or maybe shes just fucking with you.
If this is true, I just want it to stop.
I no longer have strong feelings for her but being human I can't help but be a little Jealous.

>>18686667
I mean, what people say and what people do are very different things. Maybe if she makes you jelous, she feels she can control you and she'll have a backup plan when she wants to settle. You said she's young, right? Sounds like ahe might just be craving your attention and cucking you to get it, as long as you're her "friend" desu, your work ia more important, dont shit where you eat. Idkf

>>18686684
The backup plan seems likely, I very made it clear I wasn't bothered by being rejected because I wasn't, there was no awkwardness from the start and I treated her like my friend.
I could see it bothering her that I did not give a fuck anymore on the surface.
She also got annoyed with me when I said I thought a girl who came into the store was so pretty it made me nervous.
She has a thing for a guy who was out of the country, he came back recently and it did not seem to go well with him.

>dont shit where you eat.
This job is temporary and meaningless to me but I have learned a good lesson for the future.

>meet qt3.14
>she's a bit of a slut previously
>we're just messing around anyway
>few months later we start actually dating
>a year later I find out she's been having secret internet affairs
>we break up for a month
>start back as casual sex partners again
>get back together
>things go well for another year
>find out she's still an internet slut
>we fight
>break up again
>get back together
>hate life
>hate her
>have us
>break up again
>this time final
>bunch of tears, she didn't actually do anything this time, just me being pissed off about past stuff
>haven't talked to her in a year

Still think about her every day.

>married 3 years, together over a decade
>approaching 30s
>no kids
>sex life is boring and getting worse
>fell in love with someone else
Have done nothing about it but wonder about divorce.

>>18686962
Do it

>>18685804
T-thanks anon, I will do my best.

Go find yourself a qt outdoorsy gf, they're the best type of woman there is

>Work with girl for year and a half
>Have been bestfriends since then
>She was with somebody for 2 years
>She tells me she has feelings for me
>I feel the same
>Boyfriend cheats on her
>Dumps her
>She says she wants to be with me
>She's my manager at this point
>We get together
>Everything is great
>Breaks up with me
>"Im just not ready and neither are you"
>I say "Okay that's fine, I get it."
>Find out she brought her ex whom she still loves and misses back into her life
>3 months ago
>Found out I wasted 4 months of my time
>I vent my frustrations out to a mutual friend of ours who convinced me he was on my side
>Tell him she's a 6/10 and I could do way better
>Show him her half nude (He's gay)
>>"Oh anon you can do so much better she's so ugly"
>Tell him I recently started talking to an old ex of mine after she pulls this shit
>He ends up telling her everything I've ever said
>Twists my words to make things even more severe
>I wanted to stay friends with her
>She's still my bestfriend but I was drunk and sad at the time when I vented
>Now she refuses to talk to me
>We both still work at the same job, 50+ hours a week.

What a disaster and I'm not sure what to do.

>>18687087
Doesn't help I'm a cosigner for a vehicle with her. I feel so stuck right now and I know I fucked up countless times but I was so mad. So livid.

She would constantly say I have nothing to worry about, she only wants me. She has to be in her ex's life because of bills and such. But then they started to see eachother more often, be around eachother more often. We never even had sex or did anything for those 4 months other than kiss and hold hands because work was suspicious and she 'wasn't ready' It's like I got nothing out of this entire situation except 1 less friend and hundreds of confusing scenarios.

>>18687087
>>18687087
>>18687097

Oh, and.

>Ex I was talking to is the girl I've been in love with for 6 years
>Started chatting online when I was 14
>Clicked instantly
>My 14year old ass wanted to meet her but I had no means of transportation
>We drift apart after 2 years
>She ends up with someone
>Gets pregnant
>Has a kid
>Gets dumped
>Comes back to me
>We talk for another year
>I say I don't want to father somebody else's kid
>This goes on until last year
>We talk more, she has a boyfriend now
>First boyfriend since her last baby-daddy
>I make a trip across the country for her birthday so we could finally meet
>Everything is perfect
>Her son loves me
>We get intimate
>I stay at a hotel 2 blocks away from where they live
>She comes over every day for a week
>Life is wonderful
>I have to go back home
>She tells me she wants to be with me
>Needs to
>She picks me over him
>I drive to my home state
>She finds out she's pregnant
>"Oh fuck"
>Ends up being the guy who she's with right now
>We stop talking again
>Now here we are
>They're engaged
>She still wants me
>Knows her marriage isn't going to work
>Has two kids now
>I'm fully willing to move down there and be with them
>But I don't have the money for that right now

So two situations in one. Shit sucks guys.. But this is all my fault.

>>18687111
>>18687097
>>18687087
oh man, well, it sounds like the work girl was just her rebounding off with you. She was probably vulnerable, and you were a warm body. Dude, I'm so sorry, you're stuck with her in that way. Try to keep your distance, you've done enough. Business is business but don't try to regain a relationship that's fucked. Things happened and now it's over. but at least you learned, don't shit where you eat. Seriosuly consider if a messy breakup is going to fuck up your job before. I know it's not easy, shit I've almost done it I lead a girl on at work but finally decided I kinda didn't want to make a mess and stopped. Things went really awkward until I finally left for a better job.

On the second one, Shit man, are you sure? Maybe you're getting off of two bad relationships that are no good for you, nows your chance to bail on both.

I'd suggest you let go and get out.

I know it's hard and very difficult to do that but, sometimes it's for the best dude.

>>18686962
Does the new person also love you?

>all of these people taking back their ex-partners
FAGS

File: IMG_20170903_235302.jpg (3MB, 4640x2610px)

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I have been in a very uneasy relationship for 3.5 years. I loved her but I never felt like I got anything back from her. I bought a condo and she moved in with me last year. I pictured we'd fuck in every room every week and have her cooking me dinner when I got home from work. Then on the weekends spend our time at the beach or visiting other cities. But almost none of that happened. I felt like a married couple, just existing under the same roof, not talking very much, not having sex, only going out if I drew a plan entirely myself and it had to be spot on or she would get frustrated. I couldn't take it, my life felt dull and ended it.

She accused me of not loving her, I asked what more do I have to do to prove myself, I felt I was doing all the work. She packed up to leave Saturday. On Thursday night I got drunk, something I've never done before and balled my eyes out about how I loved her and didn't want any of this to happen. I think she now believes me. She still moved out, in tears. I have no furniture because she bought most of it. She texted me an apology about how we were supposed to be together and she ruined it.

I hate single life, I can't function single. I turn recluse. I stay up late, eat bad, masturbate till my dick hurts. I hate dating, having to navigate the same basic stupid questions to try and get a girl to meet you, it makes me insane. I look at my empty room and know that with one text she will be in my arms. Im now thinking It might be a shitty relationship, but it's better than nothing. I'm thinking this is just attachment issues and that it'll pass. But I really was in love with her, I desperately wanted it to work. Should/could we get together again?

I'm just here to vent and hopefully get some advice.

My girl and I been together for a little bit over two years now and her insecurities, co-dependence and non-respect has made me lose all attraction to her as much as I love her.

I want out for sure but if I break up with her I know she will spiral into a deep depression, give up her final year of university and I feel like I will ruin her life because we both saw a future together when we first started and talked about marriage and all that.

I love her too much to hurt her and I've tried so hard to make it work but it's always the same.

>>18687803
Basically the same situation as you. I'm right above you. I was told before that thinking you're her only light, the only thing saving her is not a good attitude. It's controlling, she is a human with her own free will and breakups are a normal thing. When considering break up, you should mainly think about what makes you happy.

>>18687206
Don't know! I think there is mutual attraction but I have not pursued it due to my marriage.

>>18685224
>>18685227
Was all of that worth ruining a marriage? What a fucked up thing to do.

File: 1486301809581.jpg (36KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

36KB, 800x600px

>mfw I don't even care enough any more to post a greentext

>>18685227
>I've basically died emotionally in all this and will probably never be the same. I feel like a shell now. Pretty much numb to any and all feelings for the possiblity of a relationship.
I'd have some sympathy for you if you weren't an adulterous bastard. Seriously, don't fuck with other men's wives. You had no business entertaining her in the first place. The pain, the heartbreak, the numbness you feel, you brought it on yourself 100%. You should've known better.

>>18686962
You made vows to your wife in the presence of witnesses. What do you think about that?

>be me
>20 almost 21 yo KHLV girl
>isolated all through HS, bullied, anxiety, insecure etc
>start job after HS
>8 months in guy starts talking me
>hesitant
>we hang out, smoke weed, watch TV
>I really enjoy it because I hadn't talked to anyone my age in years
>talk, suck his cock, have fun together
>I get feels or at least think I do, this is only one month in
>he comes to work with hickeys
>I knew he had "other girls" but I was crushed
>tell him
>he says he saw me as just a friends with benefits
>ok, all my "feelings" are gone but I'm so lonely that I still hang with him and suck him off (because he has a nice cock and I enjoy it)
>keep hanging out and having fun
>he asks me if I'd date him (over text)
>say no that I'm not "ready" or "ok with myself", which I'm not
>says he wants to tell everyone at work that I'm his
>so confused by all this I mean I'm enjoying the time with him because he makes me happy And I don't have any feelings like at the beginning I think it was just because no one ever paid me attention
>I don't want to think about it too much because I'm enjoying it but I also do
>he says he wants to take pictures with me(which I say no to because I don't like them), says I'm hot and deserve raises at work and this and that
I don't know what I'm getting at, I just appreciate him for liking me because I am very socially stunted and still don't really know how to kiss and I probably say too much or not at all or don't act like I should because I isolated myself so much
I guess I just want to show him I appreciate him I don't know how

>>18689439
Yeah, are they worth fifty years of boredom? No, they're not.

>gf got fat
>dont want to sex her anymore
>i think she knows but is in denial
>wants to get married
>fml.

>>18690537
Disgusting

>>18690589
Why disgusting anon? Im not the op but come on, divorces are a good thing man. People shouldn't be miserable just to keep a happy façade of marriage.

>>18690537
You shouldn't get divorced juat because you think you might get some pussy dude. You're gonna be so disappointed when you don't, and dont rebound with your ex, at least respect her enough for that.

>>18690635
It's disgusting because marriage is a lifetime commitment. If you're not happy then you're supposed to work on it not quit. Besides if you're miserable that's on you not your spouse. People are so fucking self-serving nowadays and nothing is sacred. Like what do you plan to do, go through life jumping from relationship to relationship as soon as you have to put in some work?

>>18690654
I agree that sometimes trying to work things out in a relationship is a good thing but that doesn't apply to every situation. Sometimes its healthier for everybody to stop wasting everybody elses time and let go.

And fuck off with that sacred shit, nothing is fucking sacred, people change, things change. It's's OKAY.

>>18683483

She didn't get raped and if she did she knows she was heavily playing along with something she knew she shouldn't have.

I get it. 8 years is a long time. There are moments in there I'm sure that have become foundations of yourself. I have been there. 7 years with a girl, engaged, she seemed so fucking happy, one day nothing, over.

My man fuck it all off. She's over there and let her stay there. TRUST ME. I wish I did it right the first time. Instead I was talking just like you are.

>Never been in a relationship
>The narcissistic side of me wants to blame it all on one girl in particular
>Self-deprecating side blames it all on myself
>It's a little bit of both
>Had multiple opportunities to date fairly attractive girls, but turned them down because I had unrealistic aspirations to be with said girl
>She never really did anything wrong herself, I just was young at the time and thought she was the one
>Didn't even pay attention to other girls for about 3 years because of her
>She ends up dating my best friend
>Haven't really talked to too many girls since

>>18690688
Preach! Marriage is not sacred. It only makes sense if you're having kids.

>Be me currently
>18 years old
>In a relationship with my bf for almost a year now
>I have anxiety and depression
>Mum treated me like shit, abused me all the time
>I moved out a few months ago and came to live with his family
>Very kind people, never yell at each other, practically the perfect family
>I make a lot of progress mentally and emotionally because of the supportive atmosphere
>Start going to uni
>Making a life for myself, start seeing myself with a future
>Bf is immensely kind and supportive, understanding of my problems
>He also hates himself and wants to die sometimes
>Won't tell me about it, says he's not ready to admit him himself
>Thatsfinem8.jpg
>I have a breakdown maybe once a week or fortnight
>He had an addiction to fapping before I came into the picture
>14 times a week
>Tried to keep it hidden from me when I moved in
>Caught him in the shower doing it
>Made me feel super insecure, asking a lot of questions to myself like is he thinking of someone else
>cont

>>18690958
>Half my brain telling me he's too kind and also too insecure to ever do that
>I know that half of me is right
>Still feel super offended and fight a little
>He's crushed knowing that he's hurt my feelings
>We get over it but it's always in the back of my head
>Now a few days ago
>Browsing reddit on his phone, noticed he'd been looking at some pictures of other women
>Ohnoimnotreadytobreakdownagain.desu
>Tell him about it
>They're all pictures of busty women
>I have small boobs and it makes me feel super insecure again
>Really pissed because I know I'll never be good enough as a woman to support him
>Small boobs
>Mental illnesses
>He could do so much better
>Get even more scared that he's going to cheat on me
>Start thinking about down the line in our relationship, worried he'll cheat on me later on with some busty bitch
>Tell him all of this
>He said that he slipped up and has actually been trying really hard to stop because it hurt me so much last time
>Feels super bad about it
>cont

>>18690966
>I know he's probably telling the truth
>Anxiety screaming in my head "HE'S LYING HE HATES YOU"
>Getting real tired of that shit
>Come to /adv/
>Read some posts
>Guys who used to be in relationships with people like me
>Said it wasn't worth the trouble and I can't be saved
>Feel sad
>Also feel motivated to prove people wrong
>I don't want to crush my bf and suck the kindness out of him like these anons
>Trying my best to be supportive
>He has hopes and goals for the future
>I support them because I think they're cool and like learning about them
>Says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me
>I'm unsure of this because I'm a shit person and I know he could do better
>Tell him this also
>That he could do better
>I'm his first gf, it's too late and he has oneitis
>Loves me immensely
>Says he doesn't want anyone else
>Says he wants to build a future with me regardless
>Says I make him feel special and bring light into his days
>I feel happy about this
>I just don't want to turn him into a shell of a person
>Want desperately to get better for him
>And for myself
>I just don't know if it will ever go away and that scares me
>cont.

>>18690990
What can I do anons? I don't want to end up as that girl who couldn't be saved. I love my boyfriend, and he's done so much for me and helped me progress so much over the last few months. I feel like I can make it if it's with him, seeing how far I've come already. I just don't want to suck the life out of him. Mind you what I said is the worst of us. We like being together and have similar interests, and our sex life is the shit. I'm willing to try anything for him except he's a vanilla, I'm trying to give him sex frequently, every 1-2 days so he doesn't get clogged up. I don't mind doing it, since it feels good. It just seems like everything with me is fine and everything could be perfect if I didn't have these mental illnesses. I'm currently in therapy trying to get help for it. I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with him too. I think I just need to work on my own self-confidence. Any advice?

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>>18682561
I'm married to a beautiful woman, she's strong, intelligent, and could probably do way better than me.

Unfortunately, I have a pornography problem, it stemmed from my childhood all the way till now, I'm kinda obsessed with it, and it really takes a toll on our relationship, particularly sex because we don't have it much, and when we do, I have problems because of the masturbation through the porn.
Also I get really depressed because porn itself is extremely evil, and the fact that I'm addicted to it makes me feel so ashamed that I often like to neglect my hygienic routines as a way of punishing myself (i like to be clean).

I decided that maybe I could fix this by starting a war on porn, not that theres really any war, I just insult people that watch it, and remind them how bad it is, the only problem is whenever I do this, I get depressed because of the thought that there are so many men such as myself that are addicted to porn.
The depression makes me do things I regret, such as getting angry at the wife, and looking at porn.

We are both big Christians, and she and I think this is just a challenge from god to test our resolve as a couple, well, god is really kicking my ass because if it wasn't for his teachings we probably would have divorced long ago.

I have never thought porn was okay, it's an evil medium that corrupts men, giving them the wrong impression of women, and hurts women putting them into a corrupt and dangerous industry filled with drugs, scammers and rapists. It doesn't help when you're growing up and you have people tell you that it's natural and that it's totally okay, when it's really no better than any drug or alcohol, I would argue that it's worse since it's a culture cancer, meaning that it has an extremely negative impact on all of us as human beings.

Anyway, I really should go to bed, but I am punishing myself again for watching porn, another thing putting a strain on our relationship is me making her sleep alone.

>>18691004
Wow anon, your post completely seems like it relates to the ones above that are mine. My boyfriend has relatively the same problem. He's trying his best to stop just like you. Can you give me any advice on how to support him through these times?

>>18691012
I have no idea.

Something my wife does is do anything she can to keep me occupied, we go out alot, spend alot of time together, but she can't babysit me 24/7.
So when I'm by myself, I get into a mood, and bam, it just happens.
You could try that, but you'll probably have the same result, or worse, your man could think you're being too clingy and start pushing you away.
Something else that can probably work is asking him to remove any kind of pornographic material off his devices, I don't know if he saves his stuff, but I do, when you have such quick easy access to it, it's easy for you to just quickly do it. I did this once and it worked for a while, but I eventually started saving it again.
And of course, he has to comply with that plan.

heh, now you're making me depressed, young people's relationships now have to revolve around sex and superficial things like being "big", and having huge tits with a fat ass and sucking dick and all that, there's so much more to loving your man/woman than that, but thanks to porn corrupting our young people thanks to the rise of the internet and the sex revolution people don't care about sappy shit like love anymore, people just like to fuck strangers and dump them after 1 night, even have sex as early as 13.

I wish I could be a better help to you, it would really make me happy for you guys to resolve your issues, but I can't even resolve mine, all I can say is that worse comes to worse, you can always find a better man.

Was in a two and half year long distance relationship. The only person I had to talk to. She stopped caring about me and cheated on me for another long distance relationship with a lowlife drug addict. She lied about why she wanted to dump me, which I agreed to at the time. A week later she met up with this guy and fucked. I never did any wrong to her and was always nice and there for her. Turns out she was a lying traitorous whore. I have the option of exposing her and getting revenge, not sure if I should follow through or not, but it's tempting.

Been dating my gf for almost two years. I love her and I know she loves me but she's not doing much with her life. She's almost 27, no license, works retail making $12 buck a hour, and doesn't seem like she has any ambition to go and change. She's always talking about going to school, or get her license but she doesn't make any steps to achieve those goals. She mostly just goes into a depression on where her life is and smokes excessive amounts of weed. I really do love her but I don't want to be the only one making any money/working hard.

>>18682561
Had a boyfriend before, I knew he didnt wanted a serious relationship, and I said, ok!
I can have a casual relationship, happened that I knew he had another girlfriend, and I lied to me again,
Ok, he likes me more, one day he's gonna leave her and stay with me...
One day my friend was showing her lame photo that she though he was funny, and I looked better on the picture, and he was wearing an engagement ring!
Than I started to be depressed, asking myself, why not me? Why she's better to be his wife than me?
Than I decided to meet other guys trying to forget him, I started to go out with a guy that was a little weird...
Happened that I find out that he was gay!
One day I looked at myself in the mirror and decided that I deserved something better, I can't handle a casual relationship, I deserved be better treated, so I stopped talking to both of stupid guys!
Than the son of the bitch said that his fiance discovered that he betrayed her, and he wanted to stay with me, I just blocked him from all accounts I had him I never spoke to him again...
After that I met my current boyfriend, he never cheated on me and we're getting married next year!

>>18686054
As an update, my best friend of years, decided to let me back in. She knows how much I fucked up but how much love and care we gave to each other throughout years.

I still have a ton of anxiety, I cry easily and I broke down when she talked to me. I told her how I felt my world crumbling and breaking apart, and how torn apart I feel.

She said, no you didn't break apart your world, you just kinda broke mine. I told her, You were my world.

I'm scared, that we're both just lonely and need each other and that she'll leave once she realizes that. We'll see. I know I love her and I know I am so thankful and appreciate that she's trying to forgive. I want to appreciate her more, and treat her better. I want to stop feeling like this monster, this villain, this piece of shit. I want to work on myself

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I have two wives. It's illegal to have two wives in the united states but we were neither legally or illegally married in the united states, since the informal ceremony took place in never-never-land.

Anyway, one of them is a trap, the other is a lesbian, and they fight over me constantly. They're both telepathic so they constantly poke around in my head and it's actually amusing but holy shit does it get old after a while.
Anyway, being married with them is lots of fun. The trap likes to top and bottom, the lesbian doesn't like anal, and the trap doesn't like eating out girls.
Anyway, the government doesn't acknowledge my marriage and they don't have to. It's all make-believe to them anyway.

>>18690572
Are you me? Mine got morbidly obese and I'm starting Uni tomorrow as an arts major...should be interesting. She means a lot to me but she just isn't taking care of herself anymore

Been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and a half and he repeatedly cheats on me and lies to my face he hasn't, breaks promising and breaks my heart constantly. When I find out I get really angry and tell my self I'm leaving him but as soon as he goes to leave I get panics attacks and beg him to stay and he makes me out to be the bad person and makes me feel bad for catching him. Last year I got raped while dating him and he told everyone I asked for it and I cheated on him.. I don't know what to do as I love him but I hate how much he hurts me all the time. We live together with my dad and he would have no where to go.

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>>18682561
Currently dealing with a fwb who caught feelings. I tried cutting her off but she keeps offering sex even though I explicitly tell her I won't catch feelings. I just can't see myself getting any form of emotional attachment with this girl, but I continue to evoke her company and sex. I think it's because of my history of getting fucked over by pretty girls that's turned me into such a seflish cunt - the other day she tagged me in a meme on social media saying something along the lines of "guys get cheated on once in middle school and be dogs till they're 30.. seek therapy". Not to mention she looks a lot like my ex who fucked me over, same body type and blonde hair.

Tell me /adv/, am I just a harmless horndog or do I really need help

What do you do when you have serious electricity with someone it's totally inappropriate for you to ever be with. It's sheer torture.

These threads are always sad because no one ver answers anyone.

>>18682561
Is something wrong with me? I cheated on my bf but feel no guilt though I have felt guilt for lesser things.

No major issues in my relationship of almost 2 years but I had sex with the singer of a regionally popular band. Two friends an I went to see the band play, some drink, some smoke but not wasted and the singer kept eye contact with me and came to chat between sets and asked if I could come to their van, I did and had sex with him.

For a few days after I was worried my bf would find out but now it seems he will never, nothing, I feel nothing.

Could it be it was somebody semi famous or I knew it was one time and would never see him again. I don't now

>>18691897
Kill yourself, you useless whore.

>>18691904
You must be some Muslim or Christian wack job.

>>18691911
Yeah man surely, not being a scumbag that sleeps with shady dudes in vans while having a bf is surely is the same as wearing a burka.

>>18691920
Well we have two that wish for a woman's death. I know your kind. Judge, jury and executioner. Why limit death sentence to infidelity? How about you burned dinner or you looked at me funny or I don't like the tone of voice.

>>18691897
break up with your bf
and see a psychologist,
maybe he can figure out why are you such a piece of shit.

>>18691929
You're a stupid lying whore get over it

>>18691929

You don't respect your boyfriend. That's why you don't care.

>>18692133
Don't know if its a lost of respect but he does brag about himself constantly. To me, my family and friends and some times he totally lies about something and I'm the only one that knows he's lied. I keep my mouth shut when he cuts his eyes over at me so he knows I know and he goes right ahead.

>>18691818
Good question. Unresolved sexual tension between two people who can't resolve it really sucks.

First bf cheated on me. I met him online and we talked for a couple years until one day I visited him in his country and I found out on the last day before I went home. He had been cheating for at least a year but still let me waste all that time and money going to meet him.

Second bf turned out to be a narcissistic psychopath who dumped me one day because I refused to apologize for an argument he started over nothing, and I actually defended myself for once. After a year of being together he literally ghosted me just like that on a whim. But not before letting me know that our relationship actually meant nothing to him. Actual words he said. "I feel nothing"

In both cases I knew in my heart things weren't good way before but a combination of love, hope, patience and empathy kept me in bad relationships where I was treated like shit but thought if I could just try hard enough and not give up things could get better. Well, they never had any interest in making things better so of course it was wasted effort.

>>18690688
>And fuck off with that sacred shit, nothing is fucking sacred, people change, things change. It's's OKAY.
Marriage certainly is sacred

>>18691001
Communication is key

I was in a relationship with a girl like you

I was unknowingly pressuring her into sex
She told me over a text and it was to late to fix anything, she ended it then and there

Looking back I was being dumb and I should've been better but I didn't know

Feel like a fucking rapist
Hate myself
Wish I could do something about it

Fucking kill me

>>18686728
What's an internet affair ?
>>18691001
Holy shit just work out regularly. Here ; join a cheap gym and do this
https://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-eason-livefit-trainer.html

Exercise is more effective than Zoloft

tldr: 10 years of calamity, ended in a break up

>be 17, in HS, MySpace is a thing
>meet qt, on MySpace, contact her, start talking to each other, find our she goes to my HS
>after some time we meet and become a couple, shit's good, high on the love drugs
>little things happen we do fine, we graduate and then I get deployed
>break up because i felt like I as in her way, she puts up no fight, deployment ends, she's dating my best friend who told her i would be okay with it
>she dumps him, comes back to me, shit's not good, we become fuck buddies, I'm depressed as fuck
>fuck buddies for 2 almost 3 years, then on off relationship for another 3
>break up again, start going to therapy for ptsd and depression, things start getting better try to fix things with her
>she started dating a co-worker while I was dealing with therapy, she still talked but never told me about him
>she finds out i still loved her, starts talking to me behind other guy's back
>she tells me she loves me, she comes over to my place, starts comforting me and cheats on the other guy with me
>they finally break up, and we try again
>2 years pass of us not talking well, no communication, she feels I ask too much, i feel I don't get enough same, same shit as before
>I keep wanting to talk about our problems, she's too busy for it, just fucking deal with it, at least the sex is better
>last year, Oct, we fuck and she gets preggo
>2 months go by she's sick doesn't know why, I ask if maybe she's pregnant, she just says maybe it's hormones
>Dec 24, I finally crack and ask her to take a pref test, both come out +
>I was ready to support her and our kid, she freaks out, starts saying her life is ruined
>I say abortion then, we continue arguing and not really talking
>Dec 30, my birthday, get a text saying it's done, no more baby
>Dec 31, she starts to regret things and blames me
>Jan 1, we break up, try to talk, she won't have any of it
After 7 months of trying, I realized it wasn't worth it anymore.

>>18692558
>Second bf turned out to be a narcissistic psychopath who dumped me one day because I refused to apologize for an argument he started over nothing, and I actually defended myself for once. After a year of being together he literally ghosted me just like that on a whim. But not before letting me know that our relationship actually meant nothing to him. Actual words he said. "I feel nothing"
this is literally what my ex-gf has done
what the hell man

>>18693062
read up about narcs man, they're fucking inhuman

>>18693150
read up about borderline and bipoler disorder, this shit is literally beside the cutting part what happened to me
not healthy at all man

>Meet girl of my dreams
>She has a boyfriend
>become her friend, after awhile pretty close
>Find out he's rather abusive
>One night after a party I'm alone with her
>We're walking down the street, she turns to me and says "Chad beats me" out of nowhere
>Really have no idea how to go about this, feel mostly anger
>She begs me to not tell anyone or do anything myself
>Agree, get her back to my house
>Tell her I love her
>Kiss leads to sex, spend the night hugging her close
>Weeks go by, we start having our own secret dates
>tells me she loves me back, still won't leave bf
>Months go by, she starts treating me coldly
>tells me I was a dick who took advantage of her pain, says how good her abuser is

Haven't heard from her since.

>>18693186
Don't stick it in crazy.

>>18693186
might've been her guilt projecting,
meaning chad mightve hit her once and she then justified having you on the side,
only to realize afterwards whats she done and blamed you.

>>18690528
Well, you suck his cock, thats something.
If you suck mine I'll make you feel like a little princess too.

>>18693214
Lesson definitely learned.
>>18693217
Yeah, probably. We were kids then. Hopefully she's gotten her shit together.

Today I messaged an old boyfriend from15 years ago. 15 years ago. I had completely forgotten about him and he popped in my stupid head and I wanted to know him again. I'm not single either. So I find him on facebook and it says he's single and looking. So I message him and it turns out he is married with a kid. Must not use facebook often. I feel so confused about it all. He asked me if I was single and I didn't lie. We both said we were happy. I wonder if it was true since he went on about how everything is different with a child and he sent me a photo of his family and his wife didn't really seem thrilled. I told him that I was really happy he was doing great (before we talked I was worried since the last time I saw him his life was in shambles). He said he wanted a baby since when we were dating but wasn't ready. We never had sex by the way. He had to go and I told him he could stay in contact if he wanted.

He started typing but never sent anything.

I stalked his interests a little and we had grown up to like some similar things. I guess that's not unusual but I feel so stupid. I don't even remember why we stopped talking back then.

I hope I forget about this sooner than later. I feel embarrassed and sad.