women terrify me

Imagine its your last day on earth. Whenever im in a stressful situation, i just convince myself that if i dont do it ill die.

>>18681903
Probably you internalized some messed up views about sex and love as a child.

>>18681903
What the fuck, you must be very attractive. I'm like you except I'm a 25 year old virgin.

>>18681958
Perhaps, father didn't raise me. My mother beat me often when I was a child and I watched her shrivel away from cancer.

Trust issues galore, though none of that shit is an excuse. I just want answers

>>18681962
Maybe that's the case. I'd have no way of knowing for sure

>>18681944
That advice doesn't work if you want to die :^)
(im not OP though)

>>18682008
I am OP and I agree with you.

urgent self bump

Speaking as someone similar, you have to trust that your negative emotions are not real. Not in the sense that they don't exist, but in the sense that they are simply YOUR perception in a sea of different perceptions.

Those girls obviously liked you enough to sleep with you. Yeah, you can tell yourself they were drunk, or desperate, or whatever, because its sometimes genuinely harder to accept that some people just /like/ you. I feel guilty sometimes, because I'm difficult. But I trust that the people who choose to be around me do so because they want to. Also, even if it's relieving, it's difficult to convince yourself that you're wrong and believe it. It's hard to admit that the only thing that's REALLY holding you back is your own fear of rejection, because then you must accept responsibility for both you past and future actions involving women.

Basically, stop shooting yourself in the foot. If these people want to be around you, let them. If these people enjoy your company, it stands to reason that others could, too. These people can range wildly in appearance, and maybe they will want a relationship with you.

>>18682008
Nice meme. I've never been suicidal but I guess my advice can backfire if you want to kill yourself. I just get myself hyped up before I go into a situation I don't like, going in with a strong state of mind clouds the fear and makes me look like I'm strong even if I'm scared shitless inside. I don't know if that makes sense.

>>18682041
I don't know if it makes sense either but I do that myself as well. Though I don't think it works at least for me, when I have the idea that a situation will suck, no amount of hype allows me to change the mindset. Either that, or I'm very good at guessing when I will enjoy something and when I will not.
My therapist also said that that thing you do is a good way to approach situations though though, unless I got him wrong.

>>18682037
Wow thank you anon. I'll do my best to remember your post.

You're right, it's hard as fuck for me to accept that some people may actually like me. It's easier to anticipate the worst before it happens...which creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So how do I get over the fear of rejection?

Especially if it's the root of my grief

>>18682041
OP here

It does make sense. I'd compare it to rallying up your teammates before a critical game, or keeping company morale up so workers perform better.

Even psyching yourself up before a performance. Your logic is sound anon, and I hear you loud n clear

>>18682052
Well, start practicing.

I got into a car accident a few years ago, and it sent me into a depression. I slid back into old patterns and it took a change of scenery and a little luck to pull me out.

But originally, I just had to grab my nuts and practice. Yeah, I embarrassed myself a few times, but it turns out I was a lot better at it than I thought. I'm sure as fuck not scared of rejection, anymore. It's still a bummer, but it's something you get over in a matter of hours.

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>>18681903
Hell dude 4 chicks by 20, I've had 1 by 26 and a couple of greasy BJ's and I'm not nearly as afraid of women as you seem to be. Alot of people say that the more exposure to sexual stuff makes you less afraid, but I don't believe that. What if every sexual encounter s increasingly shittier? And now that I think of it I have no idea how to answer your question.

I fucking hate you I hope you suffer for what you did to me

>>18681903
try younger girls maybe? or older? or alcohol? or rape? or paying them?

>>18681903

>women terrify me
>no reasons why, no attempted self-reasoning
>just a "why do I do dis?"
>yet we don't know OP's age, race, upbringing, etc
>just supposed to guess based on a few posts he makes about how women are so scary

Kay. So you hate on yourself for no reason to destroy your own self-confidence because... ...because... some reason dealing with women. Okay. So you made the choice to hate on yourself. Make the opposite choice, stop doing that, and treat women like they're a person instead of a special snowflake, a porcelain doll, or a sexual goddess. Like they're one of the guys, but with boobs and a vagina. Then you're fine.

/thread

The trick isn't to become so confident that you think you won't fail. The trick is to become confident enough that you don't think it's a big deal if you do fail.

Social rejection isn't the worst thing that could happen to you. An anvil could fall on your head. You could get the measles. A thief could steal all your dinnerware, forcing you to eat takeout until you can buy it all back.

Most women won't reject you in a rude way (though it will happen) in fact, most won't even do it in a reasonably assertive way. Most will do it so meekly, as if tiptoeing around your feelings is more important than their own preferences. If anything, you'll feel bad for feeling like an imposition, not for being rejected.

>>18682379
Masala?

>>18681903
Maybe...
Just maybe...
Maybe...
You're actually gay?

>>18683044
How could I be?

>>18681903
Anon, the only way to gain confidence is through repeated good experiences. First, you gotta have in mind that all your fears have no basis in reality. Observe that 99% of people are perfectly able to talk to women and nothing bad happens to them.

To gain confidence, start small. Every day, approach random women and ask harmless questions, such as "What time is it?". You will see that they won't bite you. Once doing this is not an issue anymore, start doing small talk with them. Doing so, you'll lose your fear and gain confidence in a heartbeat.

>>18683080
Well, I know several people that are gay and didn't know it for a time in their lives. Have you ever had sexual fantasies involving men? Serious question.

>>18683088
Nope. I understand the logic behind your thinking here, but men don't turn me on. Women do

>>18683083
Does this apply to sexual confidence too?

Small talk is lightyears away from making her cum.

>>18683108
>Small talk is lightyears away from making her cum.

Right, but the same principles apply. We have 7.5 billion people living on this planet right now. More than 99% of them, and their ancestors, were conceived through sex. So, it's nothing to be afraid of.

Again, only repeated experiences will bring you confidence.

>>18683120
Thanks sensei

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This chick right here scares you? Literally why? Do you know how mentally fragile women are on average? It's more than men, which should tell you something.

>>18683144
She scares me because I wouldn't know what to say to her to make her like me.

Her pose is commanding, and her eyes are striking. I'd probably stutter and make a shitty joke to feign charm. She looks like she knows what she wants.

It's not the same fear you'd get when you're face to face with a jaguar. It's a paralysis, show and tell jitters, performance anxiety

>>18682717
Women terrify me because I'm drawn to them. I fear her opinions of me, I also fear that she may view me as inadequate.

I'm a black 20 year old male. I was raised by a single mother that died of cancer when I was 12, she'd often beat me growing up. Father wouldn't play his role, too busy making mothers.
Moved in with verbally and emotionally abusive grandmother same year mother died.

Always shy around girls, shy turned reclusive when puberty knocked. I had and still have no idea of how to conduct myself around a woman that I find attractive and would like to know better.

Women scare me because of their ability to choose who they want to fuck. I can't hit them. They could financially/legally ruin me if they do wished to.