Nihilism, how do I get a brighter outlook on life and regain empathy

Self bump?

Weed helps;) I always feel empathy with a few joints and company

>>18679685
Idk if you're trolling or something... But there's no way in hell I could go stoned to a medical interview...

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calm down you nihilistic sack of shit

>>18679607
As I see it, you are just scared to fail. Also, you are still an edgelord; nihilism is a buzzword and you should forget about it. There is a meme about the edgelord "nihilist" suicidal kid and the true YOLO nihilist. I can't be bothered to look for it though.

>>18679839
I'm not scared to fail, I know i will. Now I'm not arguing that I'm not edge lord I just wanna stop being one. Can someone help??

>>18679857
>I'm not scared to fail, I know i will
that's what's called being scared to fail kid
>I just wanna stop being one.
good, stop being one
buddhism made it for me, but I doubt it'll help you
just start reading some proper philosophy and stop believing you know everything

>>18679877
Please help? Give me some books to read that will change my philosophy. I need to care about the death of a person. That's literally what I'm asking : literature or websites or anything that will restore my sensitivity. Of j knew were to start reading and what to read I wouldn't be asking for help.
Also could seeing a therapist help? Is it part of their job?

>>18679884
Id like to hear the story as to what happened with the blood on the floor.

Nihilism is fine as long as you don't take it to the extreme. From Nihilism you can recover, since we've established that life has no inherent meaning you yourself are creating meaning from working hard to get into biology.

You're just human man, you cannot let your past affect you. You need to focus on what makes you happy. You should read about maybe existinstialsm? Shit, its hard to iterate but it just seems like you have everything going for you but you can't seem to see life from a different perspective. I'd recommend drugs or something but probably not a good idea with the field your taking.

>>18679918
The main time was a car accident when I was 10 , my mom died and they ended up operating on me without anesthetic in the streets for a bit, then on the ride in the ambulance I can clearly remember my flesh hanging out since they wouldn't let me pass out (so I wouldn't go into a coma)
The thing is, I'm not unhappy with the way I see the world and how I am right now, I just know I won't be able to get into med with that way of thinking, and that's pretty much been my only goal that I've worked for so long and so hard

>>18679607
realise that life is pretty shit but can be improved with wealth and power, that's how I do it,

>>well that's too bad for them but at least I can take a few days off school
That’s a strange thing to say for a self-described nihilist. Was philosophy part of your pre-university curriculum? Did nothing in your studies pique your interest?

>>18679955
All the programs I've been in are science intensive so I only got two philosophy classes, one of them about Aristotle and Descartes and the other I don't remember. I've never actually studied philosophy and I now regret using nihilist, since I've only got a vague idea of what it means. I basically just have a strong lack of empathy and no regard for human life.

Just fake it. You won't be the only one.

>>18680001
There's no way I can fake it, I'm not psychopathic enough for that, and this isn't some joke... If a doctor that comes out of their facility turns out to be batshit they won't hear the end of it. It's a full on psychological evaluation, they're not stupid.

>>18680017
>There's no way I can fake it
Why not? It really shouldn't be that hard. People pretend to give a shit in job interviews all the time. There are constantly stories in the news about doctors abuse (sometimes sexually) their patients, discriminate against certain groups, or just plain don't give a shit. The opioid epidemic in the US is basically caused by a huge contingent of doctors and pharmacists simply not giving a shit about the long term welfare of their patients. It's really not that uncommon.

Anyway if your grades are so good you can just go to another school if you don't get in.

>>18680031
You really think I'd be able to fake a psychological examination?ive always had a phobia of therapists I feel like they look into my soul. And I'm not settling for anything less than what I've worked for...

>>18680035
Grow a pair

>>18680045
But I can't take that kind of risk? If you've worked for years towards a goal you wouldn't either

>>18680058
If I'd worked for it like that I couldn't not take the risk. You're short of options.

>>18680064
Fucking hell mate I hope you're wrong
I hope i get something before this thread dies

>>18679884
>I need to care about the death of a person
No you don't.
I'll try to help you, but please keep an open mind.
I'm actually a med student. As I said, buddhism was my choice when I went through the existencial crisis you are going through now. Mainly because of the tension it generates between negation and affirmation of things. John S. Strong has a nice de-construction of Buddhism thought into neither/nor and a both/and scheme when dealing with opposite extremes. Buddhism is the doctrine of the middle way, which has a very interesting sociological/historical aspect to it (at the time of the Buddha there were a lot of extreme ideologies in India, e.g sramanas and brahmins).
Death. Deathless. Not death neither living. Not self neither not-self. Aging, illness and death are the three things the Buddha first talks about. These three things are what you are going to be exposed to the most while on the clinic. You can not care about a patient death, in fact, you should NOT be attached to your patient. What you HAVE to care about is about keeping your patient alive.
This sounds paradoxical, let me rephrase it: your job is to keep people alive; people will eventually die and you not caring about it makes no difference if at the end of the day you do your job.
I could rec you a lot of books, but that'd be a biased opinion. On moral matters, you have to find your way alone.
By oneself, indeed, is evil done;
by oneself is one defiled.
By oneself is evil left undone;
by oneself, indeed, is one purified.
Purity and impurity depend on oneself.
No one purifies another.
Verse 165 of the Dhammapada

>>18680132
I think i love you?
Thank you so much anon, it sounds exactly like what I need to understand
Can you please guide me towards some literature that will examine this further?

>>18680152
Don't love me for I'm as ignorant as you. For starters, read wikipedia articles on the things that caught your eye. If you want to go deeper, the articles usually cite a lot of scholarly material.
I'm currently reading Buddhism/s: An Introduction by John S. Strong.
Don't limit yourself to buddhism. Your questions will not be answered any time soon. You can try lurking /lit/, but I warn you, it's full of pretentious fuckers, don't take shitposters too seriously. I post on "write what's on your mind" thread regularly, and I've foun good advice in this matters in there.
I have to say, you do seem frightened of this test. Just try to relax. If you are socially inept, try to watch some shows about medical life that will give you some insight about how you are supposed to act and the mindset you need to have (i ask for moderation though, don't take anything too seriously, they are shows). If you have social anxiety (which is not the same as being socially inept/lacking social skills) med school is definitely not for you until you solve that problem.

>>18679975
>I basically just have a strong lack of empathy and no regard for human life.
Seeing the trauma you've experienced in childhood, emotional detachment could be a coping mechanism rather than a philosophy. You acknowledged death to be a bad thing, which makes it sound like you do ascribe positive value to human life even if you'd rather think you don't. Talking to someone about this could be a good idea.

You should also look for your notes on your second philosophy class which might have touched on more modern authors. Some of them might have the same assumptions on life as you while leading you to unexpected conclusions. Jean-Paul Sartre, for example, adopts an optimistic attitude to the belief of there not being an objective meaning to life in Existentialism is a Humanism and the text is often studied in introductory philosophy classes (https://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/sartre/works/exist/sartre.htm).

>>18680191
I am both socially anxious and inept, and I've got about 6 months to fix the lot of my problems. I've always considered people with that kind of balance in their lives, I'm always in the extremes. I'll do as you've suggested, thank you very much I don't think I would have thought of Buddhism without you
>>18680198
It might be, I've always been scared shitless of therapists to be honest I've got a strong phobia of them. I'll read on about humanism too, see what I can find
Looks like I've got reading to do

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>>18679839

Testing reply.

>>18679607
>I've always had a darker kind of personality, when I was a kid I was edgelord and started using chans pretty early in my childhood since I didn't have any friends until college.
What is up, me.
>Using websites similar to this one allowed nihilism to fully fester in my mind in a way that I'm completely convinced of the futility of life and the little value it has, to the extent that when some of my closest family members died I thought
>well that's too bad for them but at least I can take a few days off school
You ever take a break from chans? This shit will rot your soul and you're all a bunch of edgelords bouncing off each other and magnifying the bitterness. Take a look at /fit/ for a quintessential example. That board's founded on the belief looks are everything (moreso now that everyone who seriously lifts has left). That shit has just kept reverberating for years, becoming more and more intense, until shit like lookism and incels was born -- the magnum oppai of delusion. People spent too much times in their online echo chambers and their views became distanced from reality. I used to think I was a sociopath because nothing really hit me and I didn't think I felt empathy.
>Because of health conditions I've also been near death a lot of times (not self harm at all) and I've seen my blood cover hospital floors so brutality doesn't faze me the slightest.
Blood boys where we at? I've had about a 1/4 pint of blood leak out of me onto the bathroom floor into a 2.5" pubble that I scrapped up into a bag and froze for absolutely no reason. Had a large part of my toe chopped off and just went home. Etc. I don't think this is technically wrong. You get used to stressful situations and you learn to act without being a fucking spaz about it.

Blog post cont.

>>18679607
Watch some Jordan Peterson lectures, you can fake it, psychopats can do it too, all you have to do is to watch behaviour of emphatic ppl. Also you should try to imagine how would you feel in position of ppl that u know

>>18679607
Cont.
>But I've been reading stories about the interview that they conduct before letting you in, especially in McGill, it's extremely psychological and tests your levels of empathy and morals to a degree that students sometimes with below average grades but the right personalities are accepted solely based on that.
It's FUD. When I was working for Bear Stearns they had that shit. A lot of "elite" (see: organized mass circlejerking) places have that dumb shit. It's like the polygraph, mostly useless (I was looking to get security clearance and I thought something from the past was going to sprout up and screw me over completely and I obsessed about it for the day thinking it was the end, then I went to sleep and I was over it the next day. You're likely throwing things out of proportion).
>it's extremely psychological and tests your levels of empathy and morals
Nothing a university admissions board gives out will be extreme. I have a friend on the admissions board and, with hushed whispers and pinky promises, has complained how boring his job is. It's not gonna fuck up your admissions and it's usually basic shit. Pro-tip: The more "advanced" tests use reverse psychology to get you. Ex. Have you ever stolen anything? Answering yes means you're less likely to be a sociopath, answering no means you're aware of your sociopathy and you're trying to hide it. Ex2. Have you ever teased an animal? Yes? Good. No? Bad.
>how do I regain a normal or above normal empathy levels and a more optimistic personality
Get off 4chan and go spend time with people who don't spend time on 4chan, that's it. It worked for me. On 4chan you're allowed to have sick and disgusting (relatively ;) opinions and no one bats an eye. Spend enough time on here and you start adopting it as your natural resting mindset and think it's normal. IRL regular friends will tell you you're being an emo psycopath and you can use that positive reinforcement to alter your thoughts slowly and steadly.

Cont. Extra Behind the Scenes DVD Content
Seriously, get off the internet. It's like playing video games all day. It's trash and it does nothing but poorly mimic the real deal (as does touching your chode, don't do it). Being alone lets your ideas run wild and without a guard rail to stop you (a regular well-adjusted (relatively ;) person) you'll fly off the side of the road into the abyss of this shit.

Told my colleauge once I wanted another to come in one day to shoot up the place so we could get out for a little bit because the work load was too fucking annoying. He told me it was a sick thing to say and he wouldn't want anyone to ever get hurt for something so stupid. I learned my l e s s o n.

And fuck that buddhist guy wherever he is. I know your type and you're leading a young, naive, lost, and tender little boy into your traps and tricks.

Cont. Premium Subscriber Content
And don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to be anything. If you don't give a shit about people, don't try and change yourself so you give a shit about people, because it's what'll get you a job. It's too much fucking work to maintain and you won't be happy. If you're apathetic, it's likely because you spend your time not doing enjoyable shit (not short-term stuff). But if you don't want to be an uppity always-happy optimistic (pro-tip: it's all a front, few people are actually the masks they show, don't compare the carefully curated image they present to yourself ever, it's not healthy and achieves nothing).

>>18680652
Cont. Didn't finish my sentence ADHD killed me edition
>But if you don't want to be an uppity always-happy optimistic (pro-tip: it's all a front, few people are actually the masks they show, don't compare the carefully curated image they present to yourself ever, it's not healthy and achieves nothing)
don't.

>>18679607
be like dexter, think about the question then anwer completely opposite of what you're feeling

>>18680607
>>18680634
>>18680645
>>18680652
>>18680655
Thanks for the advice. I'll try joining some fucking club or something to be in contact with normals, something away from uni so that shit doesn't affect my life if I let too much slip out. Funny thing is the internet has been such an integral part of my life that I never even imagined getting off it, it's like : what then?
>>18680652
>if you don't want to be an uppity always-happy optimistic (pro-tip: it's all a front, few people are actually the masks they show, don't compare the carefully curated image they present to yourself ever, it's not healthy and achieves nothing).
Can people actually fake that for so long? I've observed specimens, girls and guys alike, that never stop smiling. When they stare out in the distance thinking their face still retains an expression of kindness and joy, and you've got the impression that they never see the bad side of things no matter what it is. I can't even imagine how exhausting it would be to do that.

You're probably right anon, the solution is probably leaving the internet all together, since I don't see myself using more socially acceptable sites such as reddit or any form of social media ever.

Maybe just leave Montreal. The city pretty much killed my soul and all my empathy.

>>18679607
If it's a multiple choice test you can pretty easily game that. Just, IMAGINE you have empathy and answer accordingly. I mean, that's basically what empathy is, imagining you are is someone else's situation.

If it's short response or their asking for personal statement you can pick something from your life that's demonstrative, It doesn't have to be even your whole letter, just a portion.

I'm taking a University writing workshop right now an we're actually doing a unit exactly on this, research on the genre of personal statements of grad school.

Hit me back if you want any of the resources they gave us.

>>18681415
It's face to face interviews with ten different interviewers, all while being filmed and observed from behind one way mirrors. I fare pretty well in written tests but I'm afraid this is different. Although share what they gave you, I'll take everything I get
>>18681298
What do you mean by that? Never noticed anything particularly wrong with it, but then again I've been here most my life

>>18681422
is there a way to get a PP or a PDF on 4 chan, don't want to wall of text it

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life is about participating in something greater than yourself. creating immortality in deed and seed.

>>18681435
Google drive, sorry for late (you)

>>18680645
>And fuck that buddhist guy wherever he is. I know your type and you're leading a young, naive, lost, and tender little boy into your traps and tricks
First of all, I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm not a buddhist though, I'm just interested in buddhism thouoght. I repeatedly said to OP that buddhism is not the only path, I'm not sure what you are on about. The decision to is for OP to make and for none to judge.