Should I break up ?

If you're going to keep him, you have be very assertive and clear about your conditions. Make it clear to him that the next time something remotely similar happens, he won't get another chance. Force him to go to counseling or therapy. Track his progress, and make him talk about his feelings and why he resorts to violence.

This is potentially the beginning of something serious. Nip it in the bud or you will regret it.

Dudes physically abusive AND fat? Have some self respect and leave his ass

Pro tip: relationships never recover from abuse, alchohal/drugs, and adultary

Leave him. Please.
When he punched you in the arm did you think it would end up to this moment where he threw something at your face? I'm telling you, no matter what, he will only look at you staying as an enabler for his behavior. Even if he isn't aware of it. Imagine a year later if this happened except he smacked you and his response was "But we're so good together. Weve been through so much" imagine how much harder it will be emotionally and maybe physically to get out of it.

OP here, there is also an other kind of problem if I break up with hil. I recently find a job near where we live, and I have nowhere else to go, my parent home are too far from work and my other friends don't have a bed or a couch to spare.

>>18676180
The first time he punched my I havr told him that, but it was only the beginning of our relationship, I didn't have much feeling for him then, now it is different.
If I told him to never do that again now, would it be okay ? Will he take me seriously ?

Don't be one of those women who stays with someone for living accommodations, if you do that for all intents and purposes you are a hooker. Really think about that

>>18676214

I don't know. You have to determine that based on how he reacts and whether he takes steps to improve.

>>18676176
>he fucking threw his headphone at my face
WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?

OP if you stay with him after this i will never forgive you. he is a piece of shit.

>>18676218
That is true, I haven't thought about it...
What if I break up with him but I stay at his place until I find an other house ? he have a spare room, I can pay him

>>18676202
>OP here, there is also an other kind of problem if I break up with hil. I recently find a job near where we live, and I have nowhere else to go, my parent home are too far from work and my other friends don't have a bed or a couch to spare.
then fucking rent a room for yourself, sleep in a cheap motel or something?

...that's about as intelligent as a football bat. Pro tip: always have an exit strategy. Go to a women's shelter if you need to

>>18676230
>he have a spare room, I can pay him
he physically assaulted you. what makes you think that when you broke up with him and you stay at his house that things wont escalate?

File: Stratolaunch.jpg (127KB, 879x485px) Image search: [Google]

127KB, 879x485px

This definitely seems like a bump in the road, but I don't understand all the people here overreacting like OP's boyfriend is going to snap at any minute and that she needs to leave him. It's obvious he's worked to improve himself from his past relationship if this is only the 2nd time this has happened in a year long relationship. Of course it's not appropriate behavior, but some people here are acting like OP is regularly getting the smackdown or some shit.

>>18676176
Yeah. Get out. You can have everything you have now with someone who isn't a slave to their anger like some overthrown temper tantrum throwing child

>>18676176
>But he told me that in his previous relationship, violence was normal, and he promesed to never do that again.

Use your head OP

>>18676176
Why did you start crying? lmao its just some fucking headphones

Mashallah, I see your boyfriend is man of culture too. As long as beating stick is not longer than thumb, is perfectly acceptable to strike your wife. Dress more modestly sharmuta

OP here. I just spoke to him. So basically, I insulted him when I used sarcasm and he really hate it when people insult him. I do tend to insult when I am irritated but it is my way of communincating. He told me that I didn't hit me but the bruise is juste a consequence of me pushing him to te edge and then, he threw someting, it could have well be a pillow.

He want us to both work on thing. Me not insulting him, and him, not getting mad.

I don't know what to do, except that he IS a nice carring boyfriend

>>18676176
>But he told me that in his previous relationship, violence was normal
It takes two to establish a pattern of normal behavior in a relationship. One to do it and one to condone it. No matter what excuses he makes, he allowed there to be violence in his last relationship and he's allowing there to be violence in this relationship.

Physical violence is always a precursor to escalating physical violence. You've let him hit you and throw things at you without doing anything drastic, even if he's actively contrite and physical violence is a habitual reaction he can break if he tries hard enough (bullshit) he's still getting away with it. You're still letting him get away with it. Which means he's just going to keep doing it.

Leave. Don't stay with someone who is physically abusive for any reason. There is no good reason to physically abuse anyone. There is nothing that justifies domestic violence, particularly "I did acts of domestic violence in my last relationship it wasn't my fault".

Fucking leave him.

>>18676383
>he IS a nice carring boyfriend
Nice caring boyfriends don't lash out with physical violence and thrown objects when they're upset. Abusive assholes do.

Fucking run away as fast as you can holy shit.

>>18676259
OP here. It is true, accept those 2 times he never did anything. After I spoke with him I feel like he don't actually think that is a really bad behavior. He accuse me of pushing him to the edge. Tho, he said he will make an effort.

Is it really my fault ? I know he don't like it when people disrespect him, and I did insult him, and I spoke sarcastically. He said that he use physical violence but what I use is verbal violence. I need perspective here, Is it my fault ?

>>18676412
The fact that he's making it your fault for being punched and hit is a classic symptom of a heavily abusive relationship. He's got you away from family and friends, he's already trying to get you to treat him differently from how you are normally, and HE'S PHYSICALLY ABUSING YOU, NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE NOW.

This isn't going to stop and it isn't going to get better and the longer you stay the harder it's going to get to leave. He will make it harder. Get out before he does anything worse.

>>18676176
Break up with him or be prepared to be on a long and arduous journey of trying to get him to curb his anger with the possibility that he never improves himself and you wasted years of your life on a abusive loser.
And be prepared for a few more bruises along the way.

Thank you all for your /adv/. I'm going to sleep now, but keep posting I will read it in the morning. I am going to reflect on thing before I make a decision.

>>18676469
I'll just say my final piece and check back on this later. If it were a one off occurrence, if he hadn't gotten angry again and gone right back to physical violence a second time, I would say honestly give him another chance. If he's sincere about it being something that he wants to stop, about it being a habit from a past relationship (still a huge red flag and horribly unhealthy for a relationship) then he would stop. But he didn't. He did the exact same thing again and then had the gall to BLAME YOU for his unreasonable lashing out with physical violence.

There is never under any circumstances an equivalent between words and actions. Violent words and violent actions are two very seperate things. The difference between talking about murdering someone and actually murdering someone. Saying verbal violence justifies physical violence is a bullshit oversimplification from a guy who's doing anything he can to make his abuse your fault. Because if it's your fault, you deserve it and you'll just take it.

No one deserves physical abuse. Abusers don't change, they just do what they can until you stop calling them out on their abuse again. Leave before it gets worse, because it will get worse.

Do you even actually know this ex-girlfriend that supposedly "caused" all this abuse he's venting on you now? Have you ever talked to her about why they aren't together?

Get out now.

You should give him an ultimatum that he accept over-the-knee spankings from you whenever you think he deserves them.

>>18676176
>he fucking threw his headphone at my face, and now I have a bruise on near my eye
Red flag

>he had punched me in the arm
Red flag

>in his previous relationship, violence was normal
RED FLAG

Dump his ass. For your own sake.

>>18676502
No I don't know his ex, and we didn't speak that much about his past relationship.


I speak to him again this morning and he still say that i'm am not innocent.

He did told me before that he really, really hate it when I insult him or when I disrespect him. I think getting offended by word when you are in an argument is ridiculous so I brushed it off every time his told me this. To be clear, I only insult him when we argue, I know it is not good, but it is just how I speak when I am angry.

So he told me that he is sorry and what he did was bad, But what I did is equally bad because he told me before that he doesn't like when I insult him. In his opinion he didn't hit me, and when he threw the headphone it was just because he had that in hand when he snapped, he would have thrown a pillow otherwise

I think men are way more sensitive than girl about verbal violence, so I need your opinion.
Is verbal violence as bad as physical violence ? If no, why ? If yes, why ?

>>18677846
>Is verbal violence as bad as physical violence ?
No. Fuck no it isn't. It's not good by any means, but he doesn't get to weasel his way out of responsibility by saying by talking about what you did wrong.

It's the difference between talking about murder and murdering somebody. If he really though what he did was wrong, he wouldn't be deflecting to you about what you also did wrong. Violence is never the answer to a verbal argument.

This is only going to get worse, but it's becoming more obvious you're exactly the type of submissive manipulable woman he needs so he can continue to be an abusive piece of shit. You'll figure it out someday.