Looking to start dating, need advice. 26 year old, white(German,

dude I'm drunk as fuck right now and literally just be confident in yourself that's all that fucking matters, find a girl who like you for who you fucking are

>>18670127
thanks, but im looking for something a little more specific and detailed approach to this.

You're kind of telling me the equivalent of do what makes you happy. But if what makes me happy is basket weaving, well my employment and prospect earnings are just very poor.

I tend to take a more practical, think it through then act approach to life.

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self bump, cause i really need help

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>>18670110
Literally ask for their phone numbers and then ask them on dates.
>who
Every girls which will give you boner.

>In romance, people with the INTJ personality type approach things the way they do with most situations: they compose a series of calculated actions with a predicted and desirable end goal – a healthy long-term relationship. Rather than falling head over heels in a whirlwind of passion and romance, INTJs identify potential partners who meet a certain range of pre-determined criteria, break the dating process down into a series of measurable milestones, then proceed to execute the plan with clinical precision.

>Sentiment, tradition, and emotion are INTJs’ Achilles Heel. Social standards like chivalry are viewed by INTJs as silly, even demeaning. The problem is, these standards have developed as a means of smoothing introductions and developing rapport, of managing expectations, the basis of personal relationships. INTJs’ propensity for frank honesty in word and action tends to violate this social contract, making dating especially difficult for them.

>If they are shot down too many times they may come to the conclusion that everyone else is simply too irrational, or simply beneath them intellectually. If cynicism takes hold, INTJs may end up falling into the trap of intentionally displaying intellectual arrogance, making solitude their choice rather than happenstance.

>This antipathy to rules and tendency to over-analyze and be judgmental, even arrogant, all adds up to a personality type that is often clueless in dating. Having a new relationship last long enough for INTJs to apply the full force of their analysis on their potential partner’s thought processes and behaviors can be challenging. Trying harder in the ways that INTJs know best can only make things worse, and it’s unfortunately common for them to simply give up the search. Ironically, this is when they’re at their best, and most likely to attract a partner

>>18670370
So don't try ? I haven't tried in 26 years and no luck. Also yeah that's my personality type for what it's worth.

>>18670399
You sound so obnoxious and narcissistic, OP. But I'm sure you'll find some sluts to bang, just make sure to wrap you sick to avoid stds.

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>>18670399
>post tells him to ask for their number and then ask them on dates in FIRST SENTENCE
>so uhm i do nothing right?
Your reading comprehension isnt that great, is it?

What exactly do you think dating is?

>>18670410
Sorry was on the treadmill. I don't know who to ask or who finds attractive physically how would I know before I try to ask for number and get reported for rape.


Also to above im not that way I'm trying to figure this out it's hard.

>>18670410
Oh and I'm not sure what dating is as I've stated I've never been on one. I admitted I mm clueless

>>18670417
>treadmill
This isnt facebook. We dont care about what you are doing. Keep it straight to the point.
>who to ask
Girls. Females. Online, offline, doesnt matter. Friends friends coworkers, social events you hate / never been to before or online dating apps like okcupid, tinder badoo.

You need to know how to pretend you dont have autism, so talk with then
http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com/conversation
about literally anything and once you ran out of topic, ASK FOR THEIR PHONE NUMBER. If they will stupidly ask why, simply reply
>so i can ask you on date later sweety
Also google what flirting is. Dont return back until you will be at least on 5 dates with different girls.
>what is date
Excuse to see each other and evaluate them as your pitentional (relationship/marriage/sex) partner.
>where
Park, restaurant, ice cream, doesnt matter what, just that you will do it in 1vs1 scenario.

>reported for rape
That shit never happens unless you literally rape them.

So now go make god tier selfie, fill some dating app and see for yourself how hard it is to find girl. Patience is the key.

Just go for short girls. Most of them REALLY don't care, myself included.I've literally dated a guy that was 5'3" you'll be fine. It is a deal breaker for some women, but mostly for girls 5'6" and up.

>>18670438
Ok will take selfies and try dating apps

>>18670110
>German Italian Irish American male

Fuck off.

>>18670461
Lol why did you have a problem with this? I don't understand.

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>>18670485
Is this your first visit to 4chan? You are supposted to ignore trolls to starve them to death, not to encourage them to throw more baits and insults.

Anyway op good luck with finding your gf. And you gonna need it. Dating is heavily luck based.

>>18670500
lol luck based oh lord shoot me now

my chad friend told me to be the best version of me i can

but shit, he's never had to live my life, you know? but i did what he suggested, i was just myself, except i was a myself that was always working on making himself better. i've come a long way but the only things that have changed is that my life is better in every way except dating. i got a job, then got promoted. i graduated and now i'm halfway to my masters. I have a nicer car, became more outgoing, and talked to more women and people in general instead of being a recluse.

ironically, when i was a jobless piece of shit 50 pounds heavier than i am now i got more dates than i have in the last 2 years. at this point i think im just an unlovable piece of shit, because, come on, if a former coworker can sponge off his gf and generally be a lazy jackass and not get dumped, not to mention the hundreds of stories i hear from friends or online about their own shitty choice in men, what does that say about me when my life is generally in order? shit, i got shut down hard by a friend of a friend in favor of a short fat mexican guy who ended up stalking her and tried to break into her apartment.

basically im just venting but i feel your pain op. things are looking up though, i'm learning to let go and stop worrying about the future.

>>18670529
Yeah I know a few hot girls dating losers.

My mom told me I'm going to die rich and alone like my great uncle. She's probably right usually is.

>>18670110
Realistically, you're going to face rejection because of your height as societal norms tell women not to be attracted to you, but some women won't care or will be charmed by your other good traits. You're going to just have to keep trying. Remember that dating online means meeting tons of people, so it doesn't mean anything if you don't find someone you're really compatible with right away. Take breaks from dating if you're finding it too exhausting. Don't send dick pics unless you are directly asked for them. Don't lie about your height.

>A lot of the white girls go interracial, so I kind of don't even want to waste my time with them.

You are arbitrarily dismissing an entire group of women. Some women will dismiss you because of your height and you're going to get all sad and butthurt, while doing the exact same thing. Don't be so ridiculous.

>>18670550
my mom keeps telling me i should find an orthodox girl from their church and settle down

when i told her to set me up with some she told me she couldn't condemn a woman to being with me

then a few weeks later she started up with the whole 'find an orthodox girl' thing

Just date people anon, Jesus, if your height is a problem to someone, you shouldn't want to be with them anyway.
I'm 6'4 and I fuck with girls on tinder that put height requirements in their bio because even I think it's stupid.

Just stay away from /fit/

>>18670110
How the fuck have you gotten yourself a gauranteed senior position in your company but literally have no idea how to date women?

Just ask them on a date?

>>18670580
>Just ask them on a date?
"Hey you're cute wanna grab a coffee"

"no"

>>18670110
>>18670580
(Continued)
I don't really understand your question. You have the desire to date them, yes? So what's your problem? To what degree do you need to be walked through this?

Find a girl you like on whatever platform/in reality. See if she indicates that she likes you (this is easier if tinder/online dating because it's gauranteed). If it is tinder/online I'd keep the rapport building short and ask them on a date after 2 days or so.

"Hey _____. Want to get a drink?"

>>18670583
Well don't ask a total stranger obviously or they'll say no.
Why are you so certain they'll say no? Are there no girls in your company who you chat with ever? You can't just be short if that's the case dude.

Regardless, if so, get tinder. Eliminate the thinking process.

>>18670583
Don't go get a coffee btw. Get alcohol.

If you want a date then it should be an enjoyable experience and not a weird interview type scenario.

>Italian
>GER"MAN"
>ir*sh
>white at all
Top lel

>>18670612
been there, done that. i get btfo on tinder and i will not ask any coworkers out, mostly because literally none of them are single

>>18670618
it's just an example, my actual attempts are far more autistic and creepy, and not explicitly dates


you gotta understand, i'm not you, i'm nowhere near normal so the regular advice doesn't really work out for me. but hell, i'll make a tinder again just to re-prove to myself that i'm not good enough

>>18670631
Listen here fag, what you lack is practice, so you either go for an ugly girl to learn the ropes with and probably fall in love too, or you keep trying with the girls you like and learn what you're doing wrong and find ways to change them to be better

>>18670646
>what you lack is practice
i'm not op

i've been rejected enough to know i don't have what it takes

>>18670580
Because things like work and school are easy. What I need to do is clear cut for me, I don't need to be told.

Dating is not clear cut. Plus Im pretty much clueless. I like to mitigate risk, so when i get told well walk up to who you think is hot and ask them out. To me that's not an intelligent way to do something it's a brute force method. An intelligent way is to apply an algorithm or something of the like. So if I was told that college educated latina's under 5'4 were into guys like me. That is something to work with, that is a direction.

if this even makes any sense its 10:30pm and i havent eaten since lunch. I tried to explain my train of thought.

>>18670661
Congratulations nigga, you're autistic.
Find yourself a professional Asian accountant gf or something then

>>18670661
Dogg I am sorry but real life is not as cut and dried as whatever corporate planetoid you live in. If you approach women like mathematical equations you're going to find a robot gf, not a person. I know it's fucking terrifying to be directionless but you just have to talk to girls.
Remember that they are people too and are probably as nervous as you are (if they think you're cute).
Also dating sites and Tinder are shit and are no substitute for meeting in real life.

>>18670661

Algorithm by me (INTJ as well):

if
- understand they're fickle
then:

if
- they need to talk
go to talk to them

when you talk to them
- make them talk

if you talk
- talk about relationships //this is the key//

if you talked to them > 5 times
- be there in a difficult moment
AND
- be there in a great moment
AND
-be there < 10% of your time


Then:
- find an excuse to see her = ask her on a date

run

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>>18670661
How emotionally stunted can you be

>>18670672
Im not autistic man
>>18670697
as another anon said try online dating, Im going to give that a shot.
>>18670698
lol
>>18670722
im not an emotional person.

What do you mean? Im emotionally stunted because I rather figure something out before taking a risk in order to limit the risk?

>>18670733
Love is the complete opposite of risk aversion.

>>18670743
>asking out women is risky

lmao what

>>18670733

>figuring out women

Either this is bait, or we have got a pretty dense virgin in here.

I think you're not stunted, I think you're scared.

see:

>limit the risk

You don't want to expose yourself. This means that I'm exposing myself, and trying, and you aren't. I hope you fail miserably till you understand that you're not playing videogames. A woman is a complex being, you cannot figure her out, everybody would be fucking like animals if women would have been figured out. Chess aren't comparable to the complexity of a woman, and they aren't a solved game.

But you still want us to figure out this unsolvable shit for you. This is one of those things you never learn, and you cannot learn.

The algorithm up there is made to make you go out and build up a relationship with the person you are dealing with. Try to be human. You autist.

>>18670777
Op here: you're good. Im not a big exposure person.

also im not autistic

>>18670796
>also im not autistic
this is the 4chan version of "i'm not racist, but"

>>18670796

Ok, you are not autistic of course, because you wouldn't be writing in here.

But, if you aren't an exposure person, you can still try to catch from my post >>18670777 a sort of meaning.

Dealing with women is hard, and the output depends heavily on cultural things (there is a tribe in Africa where the fattest the guy the hotter he is), genetic variables, family education, psychological behaviour (both innerly and regarding the habitat).

You simply got to deal with every woman you meet. The only general advice you can take is that you have to learn how to get familiar with the signals and guess what, they have a subconscious root and they spring up depending on all the variables I enlisted you. Don't panic, you learn subconsciously to deal with them and to recognize them, you have weapons too. So you must risk something to learn the hard way and become familiar with this shit, taking the little thraumas of rejections that leave you wondering like a dumbfuck saying "what the hell did I wrong?", but also let you develop a sort of touch. Also height is not a thing, till you want to date a 185cm high swedish model.

Another problem would be if your question was: how to trick a woman into my bed? I can assure you that this isn't so satisfying, and howewer it can be done with the simplest of tricks: give her money.

But I bet you don't want this and you want to grow as a person.

>>18670110
Go for a short girl or maybe even a really tall girl

>>18670661
But no. School might be relatively easy. But a work environment tends to be incredibly complex. Tell me your method. I'm curious, if it's so easy and I can learn from it.

"Dating is not clear cut".
Well then you already know your weird algorithmic method isn't going to work. Or at the very least algorithms tend to be for doing complicated calculations. It's not just:

Girls with blonde hairs like dick. I have dick. Ask for date.

Don't categorise them like that, it's odd, judgemental and won't work.
The only category is women. They like to chat. Like they people who give off a positive energy. Dress well. Try and be funny. And build rapport for a bit. Also, don't make it clear you're talking to them explicitly for that reason. People who are good at dating etc. are good at it because they enjoy the process.
Stop thinking about it as win/loss and start thinking about it as an opportunity to talk to, and possibly eventually fuck a hot girl you like. It is in enjoying this process that you will be successful.

On the whole your height is a handicap though and you should try for women shorter than you.

Also the women in your office not being single isn't important. In fact then they're the 0 fallout practice targets. If they start giggling when you talk to them and seen genuinely like they want to be your friend then you're doing it right.

>>18670661
There is no risk to be mitigated btw. You're just developing a connection with another human. If they don't want to date you they should still like you regardless unless you're doing it very wrong.

Get on tinder. Ask soc about your photos. That's the first hurdle.

Next hurdle is actually getting a response. I'll give you my damn line.
"You're my first match! You just took my Tinder's virginity :0"
Just say copy and paste it. You can explain it was a joke later on once you already have them but before you bruise their feelings.
Now keep talking, and I can't feed you every line but keep it within the theme of them having taken your virginity. But say things the girl should say. So it's funny.
Slowly work in actual questions about them.
You'll get a date soon enough.

>>18671589
This works because women want to feel special btw. Tinder is the least special thing ever these days, so to romanticise it you tell them they're your only match. You are straight up lying though and hence you might want to tell them early-ish before they start telling your kids how you met...

>>18670580
it's like there's a lesson in here somewhere

like how profitable companies don't have many if any women and that dating women is actually worthless

>>18671688
"Dating women is actually worthless".

Dating women is basically all there is actually.
Because it eventually leads to reproduction and that's pretty much your only purpose in life.

Having a good job literally only stands as a means to that ends, unless your job is extremely fulfilling for you, which is very rare.

How comes you are 26 and so stupid

>>18671733
no
reproduction is the valuable thing here
not the skill set you need to get lots of dates

>>18671763
Let's see you impregnate a woman and not have the child become a total fuck clump without the ability to date a woman then.

Dude there are plenty of guys shorter than you who have hot girlfriends, it's just your biggest insecurity. Hint your biggest insecurity is blown up in your mind and not a big deal to other people, they are thinking about their own insecurities.

>>18671763
Also it's obvious what's more important when you just look at which makes other men jealous.

If I said to a man you could be very rich but find it very difficult to communicate with others, and live a mostly solitary life

OR

You can be average wealth or even poor but have women and men adore you...

I think you know which people prefer

I'm sure someone else has posted something similar, but I'm a 7 or 8 on a good day, skinny and I'm only 5'8, so barely taller than you. I'm 18 and I'd lost my virginity when I was 14 and only 5'2. When I was 14 I weighed under 100 as well, looked younger than my age, had acne and a jew fro and I still managed to get laid. Wanna know how? Confidence. And that doesn't mean having a skewed idea of what you look like, that means accepting who you are and realizing you are your own harshest judge. Now, 4 years later, I'm actually decently attractive, have had several partners and do you know how much I get laid now? The same amount. Because finding partners is not about being attractive, it's about being real and putting yourself out there and going for the people you are interested in. Just try to focus on finding your confidence anon.

>>18671775
Op here. At work on my phone so I can't reply to all.

I'd rather be rich. If growing up upper middle class has taught me anything.


I am reading all the replies though. Thanks again. I'm going to check out online dating style for sure. I'm asking for help because i do intend to try here

>>18671823
>I'd rather be rich

Oh boy, you have a long way to go.

You seem somewhat miserable and are asking for a step-by-step guide to get a girlfriend, yet you'd still rather choose money.

>>18671929
Yeah if you got a tutorial on that, then that would be great.

Of course I'm going to choose money. Not being on the top 20 percent for income in America must fucking blow. I'm not trying to sound like a dick but i mean look at all the problems associated with povert.

Should I keep using the idea of getting my ex back as motivation to work on myself?
I know it's not happening and that I need to work on myself to get a hot gf, but if I didn't have that motivation I'd just stay fat and lazy.
I can't muster any intrinsic motivation right now.

>>18671929
this OP
according to these cumguzzling idiots the sole purpose of having money is to man up and provide for the uterus carrier, thus you must make peace with giving up all your money if you ever hope to reproduce

Being 5'6" is hardly a handicap. Just date a short girl. You not being able to get pussy is a problem with your brain.

Don't rely on online dating for everything. Just treat it as a fishing lure you set out while you do something else.

It is almost entirely looks based. Girls have profiles saying "I get hundreds of messages a day so say something more than 'hey'" but you can compose the most thoughtful and personal message and it will be ignored if you are not attractive to them. Just put yourself out there but don't expect a lot. Listing your height would work against you since women are fixated on the actual number rather than what you look like in person. 6' sounds better than 5'11" yet there is barely a difference in reality. At 5'6" it will cause a number of them to discount you right away.

So if you are attractive, online dating won't hurt. If you are not (and no matter what you look like, 5'6" will be unattractive to a lot), it will only hurt if you are relying solely on it.

t. 5'5" in a similar position.

Brother the most important thing is that you are genuine and honest. These 2 things make you trust worthy. make a promise to yourself for whoever you decide you want to go out with that you will never lie to them and just be yourself. If they can't take the honesty thing never would have worked out anyway. always just be who you are no matter how weird you feel that is at times.

>>18672124
Op here. I want to put my height, I know it's super important to girls and I want to be upfront about it. I feel like it's a con if I don't.

>>18672203

absolutely

>>18672203
If I were you I wouldn't write my height. Because saying anything like that just makes you look insecure. Do it indirectly by posting a photo of you beside someone of average height. Don't pick someone who completely dwarfs you either.

I get where you're coming from OP, but women want positive energy. Even if you are insecure about it - they don't want to know that. That is the essence of confidence.

Fuck you for making me reply again OP. You're oddly compelling.

Now teach ME to make cash by 26.

>>18672267
I don't care about my height I don't need to be tall. I'm no athlete. I know girls care about it though that's my concern.


I don't mean to come off as an asshole and I normally don't say things like this. But you asked.
I have a good career because I went to private schools and had private tutors my family is big on education. Which is odd considering we are white. I happen to be born with above average intelligence and it shows in he classroom and at work. It's just like guys who are born tall dark and handsome. I wouldn't go asking a guy like that how to get girls.

I can't rate myself at anything so I cant really help you. 2 weeks ago I was like maybe I'm getting fired. Then I sit down with my boss get told how good of a job I'm doing and where my career is going with the company. As well as all the free training and education they will offer me if I want.

People compliment me and I can't tell if they are joking or what. I just laugh and say thanks. Even with girls when I was in college at a party sometimes girls would come up to me and tell me I was hot. I thought they were making fun of me so I kind of just laughed it off and walked to my friends.