What makes me, me? Ive never gad a clear sense of self. So how

>>18669719
The self can essentially be divided into two parts; the interior and the exterior. Your exterior self is how society and your friends/family see you. That's usually easy to figure out based on your job, economic status, personality with others etc.
Your interior self, on the other hand, is more complex and meta. It is your thoughts, memories, and desires, and the way you perceive them as well as the way you perceive the world around you. Your worldview, aspirations, personality, interests, etc are who you are to yourself; the interior self.
If that's not enough, I really recommend some Alan Watts lectures on the Self on yt.
If you're looking for a way to figure yourself out, nothing better than going out into the real world and just seeing what you like and what makes you tick :)

>>18669738
Thanks. I think there is a disconnect between what do and how it effects my self-perception. It seems like I do the opposite of what I think I would do in. Most situations

>>18669761
Yea I see what you mean. Just try to do the right thing I guess :)

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Why do you need to know?

There isn't any one thing that makes you. You aren't always the same.

>>18669856
>why do you need to know?
Because I have no idea who I am. I can't define myself clearly. I am a walking mess of contradictions.

There are several takes on this.

You can go the classic way like >>18669738
and think of your "self" as the junction of two or more parts but that has been disregarded as an obsolete way of thinking for several reasons. A more recent (or some might say "modern") approach is that you are whatever you understand as "self", in other words you do not have parts and instead you are just a whole, your arm is as much "you" as is your brain and your ideas.

It however seems to me that you are not looking for a meta "self" instead you are looking for your identity, for this again there are several approaches depending on who you ask, the most recent hypotesis is that your identity is forget by a mix of genes and your life experience, however it is unclear how much each influences your identity because the gene-pool is as diverse as life experience so it doesn't really help. I personally have a personal way of seeing this and while I based my theory on several scientific and phylosophical theories it is still my own original way of seeing myself (read that not as "I'm a genious who came up with his own theory" but as a "I might be completely wrong and my answer most likely doesn't apply to you").

My theory is that we do not have a fixed personality ever, instead we just act as we think we must and once we realize this we can reprogram ourselves to act the way we want to in a given situation instead of the way we used to think we should act. Simple example: you see yourself as a beta and as a beta you do not approach pretty women because they don't like betas. If instead you convince yourself you're an alpha you will start approaching women because that's what alphas do.

My first ever self-created identity was a mix of Kamina, Kyon and a little bit of Kenshin.

>>18669920
See I think your theory only works if your environment supports your self identity. To match your example a 3/10 has little to no chance to make it as an alpha. But environment may be covered in the "personal experience part"

>>18669884
And you have been all along.
Why do you need to know now?

You figure out the contradictions when you have to. Don't stress about it now.

>>18669993
Yeah, no matter how much I identify myself as a bird I won't grow wings and fly away, that's obvious. Ever heard "fake it till you make it"? Well here's the deal: you can't suddenly become an alpha after a lifetime of being a betafag, you can do 10 squads a day and call that a "work out" and nobody can tell you it isn't a work out, it might be a shitty one but it still counts and if anybody asks if you work out you can say "yes" and not be lying because that's a work out (I for example do 1 squad, 1 push-up and 1 ab after every game of dota for each dead I have on said game).

I like to pretend that God/the universe/whatever you want to call it is constantly trying to fuck me in the ass and screw any and all plan I might have just because it amuses it to see me fail so I have to always be at the top of my game so I can shout at whatever might be out there "is that the best you got?".

16personalities.com
I did this test and it really helped me define myself.
I highly recommend it OP

>>18670678
Already did I'm a INTP/INFP. I did help some, even though the accuracy is dubious

>>18669719
"You" are an amalgamation of various chemicals and physical attributes capable of creating the world as you see it. Your actions, not some chemically based conception of theoretical actions some might call the "self-identity", are what define you, but your actions are an extension of the whole. You are made of starstuff, you are a dream of God, part of the zeitgeist, etc.
What this means for you is that it doesn't really matter. Do as you will and the Universe will sort itself out. But if you do nothing, you are essentially dead.

>>18669719

I think when people try to 'define' themselves they imagine having to sum them selves up in a few words at least but a few sentences at most. That is not the point of defining our selves.

we are not defined by what we say or think but rather, what we do. You define your self a little bit more every day, and change that definition with every change you make to your own status quo.

The idea of a sense of self is not being able to say 'this is who i am' but rather, to be able to stand by your beliefs and know they are unwavering.

for instance, a lot of people, especially young teenage people harp on how stupid 'cheating' is. they have this childish idea of what love is and believe that its nearly impossible to be a cheater and anyone who DOES cheat is just weak.

most of those teenagers will go on to cheat on their partners at some point in their life. most people do. They go against what they say because they had never been tested before. Its not until you are confronted with a real opportunity to cheat, the kind where you could easily get away with it that you see what kind of a person you really are. Your ideas have to be tested, otherwise they are nothing more than JUST ideas.

this isn't to say you need to go out and test some predetermined number of ideas you think you hold dear. It's like I said above: you simply live your life and react to what happens in the moment.

the best thing you can do for your self is never convince your self that a decision you made was okay because you 'had no choice', or were pressured, etc.

we cannot control what the universe throws at us, only how we react to it. you cannot claim to be a just person and then do bad things just because you were in a tight spot. A thief is still a thief even if he does it for a seemingly good reason. if your actions do not reflect your words as soon as something challenges them, then you are not defining your self correctly.

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>>18669719
If I could sum that up in one post you'd be a goldfish

>>18670756
OP here. This helped