I have grown intensely bitter

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I feel like I have grown to be a intensely bitter person secretly. I am incredibly bothered by the fact that I am missing out on one of the more important human experiences. Intimacy or love or whatever. I see people my age(27) having babies and getting married and shit.

It all looks and sounds like total dog shit aids but I have to look on and smile when another friend says they are getting married or having a baby. At the same time, I kind of would want to experience that but fate just hasn't given me opportunities in that department of life. I have already come to realize that dating is a shit fest of chance and luck. Your "charm" doesn't matter. Nothing but meeting the right person at the right time matters. Its dog shit.

I guess I am mostly just bothered because those particular feelings have worn down for me. I can't imagine myself loving anyone at this point. I can't imagine having a kid and unconditionally loving it.

Is this what this world does to people like me? Grinds you down until you feel like you are lacking a fundamental human component? I often wonder if I can even call myself a human anymore. One feeling I am tortured by is obsession. I become infatuated with women and want to know EVERYTHING about them. Its horrible.

I often wonder how I got this way and I can never come to a conclusion. This world does strange things to people. Thinking back to my early years, I felt very normal. Now, I feel completely separate and worn down. Small things bother me and large things don't bother me. For example, when a friend told me he was getting married. I actually felt revulsion. Next day, I was told a older relative passed away, I didn't cry or anything.

Help.