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I've had some serious relationships before, one lasting 2 years. In that time I never fell in love though. 4 months ago though i met a girl, and immediately I felt something I've never felt before. She was beautiful, smart, loved music, and was searching for her passions in life just like me. I knew at once this was special. we went on 4 dates and I loved every second I spent with her. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship though, and I pushed for one which pushed her away. I became clingy, and 100% ruled by my emotions, which I'd never done before. She gave me an Ultimatum, to go back to being friends or end things with her. I asked my friends and family for advise and they all said to leave, that she was just playing with my emotions. I prayed and begged for advise from God. So i ended things, and thought I made the right choice. But I didn't stick to it, it hurt so bad. All my feelings and prayers told me she was meant to be with me, that it was meant to happen. So I texted and called her, she would never reply. Then the last time i did I realized how bad I had gotten based on how she replied to me. I knew I had to stop, that was 2 months ago. I still feel such pain inside, It still hurts just as strong. I was not in love with her, I barely knew her, how can I love someone I barely know. But I felt something I never even imagined I'd feel for another person. And I am in such pain, everyday is agony thinking of her. I cannot get over it, and I feel I made the wrong decision no matter how much I pray. I am hurt, and so lost. And I need help...
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>>18666260
I've been where you are. I could've written your post myself. I went through a similar experience around the same time you did and acted in a similar way. After some hard introspection I realized some things.
Though I wasn't actively looking for a woman, I was totally desperate. I felt fine when there was no prospect but as soon as we started spending time together I got insecure about the relationship and started trying to force it to an expected end instead of just enjoying it for what it was.
I completely creeped the girl out and she is NEVER EVER coming back.
It's better to let someone walk away, hurt in silence and maintain my dignity and integrity than to chase. A few months ago, I felt like my life was over. Now I'm mostly over it and I just feel an overwhelming sense of shame at how weak I acted. It's taken a lot of self-compassion to stop beating myself up about it.
This too shall pass.
OP, no matter how strongly you feel for someone, you have to respect their wishes and you have to maintain self-control. I'm sure before she started to put distance between you she warned you in subtle ways that you were coming on too strong. This isn't to blame you, it's just to say the warning signs were probably there and you should think and try to recognize them so you don't make the same mistakes next time. You'll get over this and you will come across other girls you're interested in. Give it some time and try to focus on loving yourself for now. Most men have had an experience like this in their youth. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just learn from it.
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I acted so week and pathetic. The worst part is I realized what I was doing but was powerless to control myself. I'd never in my life acted that way towards a relationship or anything. That's why it hit me so hard. I just don't understand why the feelings I have for her haven't dissipated at all, and the pain hurts just as much. Even though I've dated and seen other girls, it never goes away...
I simply can't get over this girl, and I don't know why. Most days I'm ok, but whenever I have alone time, or worst yet when I see a truly happy couple, I think of her. I almost wish I'd never met her, but I don't. Because I'd give just about anything to relive those brief moments I had with her.
Yet after 3 months of not even seeing her, I still feel the same. Thank you for the advise and kind words anon, it helps.
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