Rude husband

>>18663757
Divorce it is then. Next.

nah, this is not "men".
he's probably depressed. that makes you have zero energy.
he might also have some intolerance that makes him fart and burp a lot. my dad did that too and i HATED it. turns out he can't tolerate göiten and lactose. if only he would have gotten that tested 50 years ago. it would have saved me so many disgusting moments.

He sounds like a total slob. If this is a new development ask what's been happening with him lately and call him out on it. If this isn't new, then you knew this is what you signed up for and we don't feel bad.

>>18663770
I think he is depressed. He's real moody.
But the thing is, he's like depressed about having to work and having a family. But at the same time, it's the only one thing in his life that's positive.

>>18663770
I don't think it's that.
He thinks it's funny to fart.
He used to fart sometimes around me that's how he said he knew I was the one because he felt comfortable to fart. But now it's like, nasty gross farts wayyy too often. He thinks it's hilarious funny though.

>acts tired and bored at family or friend functions

well are you trying to engage him or something?

why the fuck did you marry him if he was rude and gross?

>>18663784
He can be a lot of fun.

But lately he just acts like, I dunno, an old grumpy grouch 10 or 20 years older than he actually is.

>>18663778
yeah, my dad used to find it funny to gross us out, too.
i god damn hated it. it's simply disrespectful and very, very gross.
but i guess he just tried to deal with the fact that he HAD to burp and fart really ugly wayy too much.

on the other hand, i have an ex who started to do something similar shortly before we broke up. i guess it was one of those tell tale signs that he really lost all respect for me.
maybe it's a mix of intolerance and disrespect. hust ask him to get this checked anyways. makes him know that it really does bother you.

about the depression, why is he depressed about work and family? do you think he regrets getting married and having kids? does he feel trapped? why? does he think his life would be better if he was single? why? do you fight a lot? about what?

>>18663793
then maybe you should ask how work is going?
or if he's feeling ok?
or go to couples counseling? or just say 'hey this is happening. why?'

because bitching about it on a message board is not really productive.

>>18663757
Divorce the guy, if you can't tolerate him anymore you'll only dig yourself into a deeper hole

Don't expect his type to change. Are you happy with him now?

Just my opinion...

>>18663807
I have asked him.
He says he feels stressed. He wishes he made more money. But usually he doesn't want to talk about that kind of stuff.

That's why I'm asking a message board. He didn't want to talk to me and he went to sleep after our daughter's bday party and is sleeping in bed next to me.

He used to have a lot of energy.

I guess I'm on a message board hoping to hear from another mid 30 year old man about how life feels right now and what the issue might be.

>>18663757
I think you got with him knowing this, and if you married someone without getting to know them you are an idiot. You just like to complain about he disgusting he is to hear your own voice. He already told you what the issue is. Talking about them isn't going to change his situation. He's old, getting worn out, young people don't understand until they get older. Your joints ache, you don't have the energy you used to have. No one can stay a virile 20 year old forever.

Offer a pact. In exchange for him holding his farts around you, you provide him with something he wants. I don't think you are perfect in his eyes either.

>>18663824
>it's your fault for not knowing he's like that before marrying him
>people change when they get older

do you even listen to yourself, anon?

>>18663815
does he eat right? exercise? maybe a trip to the doctor and/or therapist would help.

if you want a marriage to last you need to support your partner. sometimes that means doing a bit of legwork

>>18663830
Uh huh
She completely hid her own flaws and how long they've been together. If you married someone without an idea of who they are you do not make smart decisions. I can bet a hundred dollars she's only hinted at him she doesn't like his behavior

People get married because they feel like they "have to," and the guy has probably been holding in burps and farts for the duration of your relationship. You're both staring at a significantly frequent part of married couples - you get old, you get out of shape, you realize that your dreams and aspirations are railroaded by having a kid or two that sap every ounce of individuality from your life.

At this point, you just need to communicate, accept each other's flaws, and try your best... but I'm realistically going to say you're going to be divorced in short order because you got married too early, and expected him to "mature".

>>18663757

>I know this is men or whatever

It really isn't. Being a lazy, shitty human being is not exclusive to any gender.

>what should I do?

Address this behavior with him. If he refuses to change, leave him. I have a hard time believing you had no idea that this was the kind of person he was before you married him but the past can't be changed. All you can do right now is make a concerted effort to work with him to address these bad habits. If he won't worth with you then you have your answer.

>>18663838
yeah, so?
she also never said that she's perfect and it's all his fault. do you expect her to write down an explicite character diagramm on everbody involved and their life story in the op? stop it with the wild assumptions and accusations.
she has an issue and aksed for help.
ofc it always takes two to fuck up a relationship and i'm sure op is aware that she's not without flaws, but you acting like you do won't help either of them. it will only spiral into her having to try and defend herself for 200 posts without getting any advice on how to actually improve the situation. you might find out that she gained weight or notoriously nags him. so what? does that mean he is now free to behave however rude and gross as he pleases? wouldn't it be better to instead try to focus on what they could both do to get this marriage back on track or does this have to end in a "who's to blame" marathon? who benefits from that?

>>18663844
sounds like OP has a daughter with him so divorce is probably not the best option

>>18663813
P.s. I guess you have already told him youre repulsed and at least said "stop", or discussed diet changes.

I assumed you've asked him a lot by now and are just fed up. Theres still hope he will change if you stop being shy and talk about it.

>>18663838

Or, you may be using this opportunity to project your negative assumptions about women onto a complete stranger who, for some reason, you insist on berating because she isn't self-flaggelating enough to your liking. Your immediate reaction to her issue was to completely blame her for her problem yet simultaneously claiming that there is no problem by justifying her husband's shit behavior as "he's getting older".

You're so quick to crucify any woman with a problem on the internet you didn't even contemplate your sperg out long enough to avoid completely contradicting yourself in a matter of 4 sentences. Wew lad.

>>18663843
I don't think we got married because we felt like we had to.

Older people at our church and around us always say we are such a beautiful younger couple and very sweet. I think we are both a little too sincere. I am in good shape, work a good job, look younger and attractive, and am a good person. He gets upset though because I have more education than him and he thinks I think he is stupid (I don't). He also thinks women are nags just all of them. He works a blue collar job and he is attractive and also seems younger than he is. But he's got a real depression lately.

Maybe that would be better to say, but I don't want to diagnose someone. But he's changed from charming and fun to be around to a guy who is grumpy and rude and wants to be alone sulking most of the time

>>18663850
>>18663862
I'm not readin all that crap dude. I guess whatever I said struck a nerve. If you're reactionary and emotional nobody's going to take you seriously in life

>>18663856
I have two daughters with him.

A part of him hates women though Bc he was raised by a single mom and he gets mad at us sometimes. But I think his fate was to be in an all female household because he has too much testosterone and negative energy toward women

>>18663877
I was raised by a single mom and I hate women too, but let me tell you, no man can resist raising daughters.

Do you fuck him regularly? is he overweight?

>>18663887
He is on night shift right now and he says he hates life or something

Sounds like me, except for the farting.

I was depressed, always tired, struggled to get through the day. Finally went to the doctor and found out I had very low testosterone. Has he been checked for that?

Neither of us is overweight or ugly or anything. We are attractive and he have healthy, very beautiful kids.

I guess we both annoy each other in the way husbands and wives can, but he's just changed lately. He says it's because he's on night shift right now but I think he was acting weird before that.


I just wonder how to deal with it or make it better.

>>18663899
Breast feed your kids always

>>18663897
He strikes me as someone with too much testosterone.
The doctor says he has bipolar depression

>>18663869

>I'm not readin all that crap dude.

I apologize. I understand that reading 4 sentences is a big task for you.

>>18663877
Well he sounds depressed. Now handling a depressed person is hard as fuck. You should try to find the time to talk to him

And ask what can you do for him so he can make an effort, is he depressed? He said he wanted more money, have you asked what he has in mind? What you yourself can do to help make more money if that is what he wants? Tell him you don't find it ok for him to be gross since you don't do the same treatment (I hope)
Ask what part of you is not enough because it's obvious you feel bad when he feels bad. Above all, remember we all have hard times, this gives us no right to treat others badly but we make mistakes, it's inevitable. The thing is that we get up again, because we are worth it.

Ask him what can you do for him to be more happy, decide and try, thing is

He also has to try or else he will become this ball of frustration and depression like it seems he is already becoming and he won't just swallow you, your daughters will suffer from it toi.

Another thing, nobody has "too much testosterone" to justify a shitty treatment to their own family. Learn the difference between testosterone and abuse

>>18663907
How do you have TOO much testosterone? Is that even a thing?

>>18663905
I did breast feed them. They eat solid food and are weaned now

>>18663757
>>18663770
>>18663778


Who's the other guy?

This shit never bothered you before, all the way until marriage.

There's another guy, and you're resenting your husband because he's kind of an obstacle between you and the other guy.

So fess up, you're attracted to somebody else aren't you?

>>18663910
When I tell him I feel upset he either says:
"Then find another man."
Or
"I wish I was just dead."

We can never have a real conversation.

>>18663922
No. Not at all.
I'm attracted to who he could be if he stopped acting like such a depressed dick all the time.

>ITT: people who advocate for a divorce at the slightest sign of a minor issue

Woo wee, what a surprise /adv/....

>>18663899
my husband works night shifts too and it really messes with his mood. so that might be true to some extend.

but even if he is exhausted and grumpy, he would never be disrespectful or say things like "i hate my life". it's completely normal that he lacks energy for family outings and the like. maybe give him a break there and just offer to go with the kids so he can have some "recharge and just let lose" time all by himself without having to be social. believe me, a few hours of not having to be a responsible dad but just being able to play some wow, eat unhealthy crap and jack off in peace can do wonders.
he might be more willing to then go back into his role as the "loving daddy" and play a few rounds with his daughters.

also, the things you say about him having "negative energy towards females" seems a very dangerous assumption. you're his wife and those are his daughters. it might be that he has issues with females in general due to his upbringing, but be careful there.

i really recommend you to work ln the honesty between the two of you. are you still a team with the same goals? are you both still commited to always keep the wellbeing of that team a prioriy? if not, why? where did that get lost? or did it never exist?

>>18663868
Take it from a calloused 60 hr's a week live for nothin die for everything working man, manual labor, especially with this new generation of entitled idiots entering the work force with ZERO skills or organizational habits is depressing as fuck. Do something nice for him and spice up your life. Not your love life, poor guy is exhausted as it is. Take him on a distillary tour or something. Go make a new memory with him. Show him that there is still life after marriage. His manhood makes him feel responsible for being the breadwinner. It's not a social construct, it's a natural phenomenon related to masculinity. It is very important to your man. Maybe you're not making him feel like a man.

Just some ideas. I'm only 25 looking for my first house with my 8 year girlfriend whom I feepm inadequate yo marry since I still live with my mother. Manhood and masculinity are much more important (and beneficial) to men than they're given credit for. Don't listen to the self-loathing lesbian feminazis here trying to break up your marriahe. Anybody that has ever accomplished anything in their life knows that the best response to bumps in the road of a relationship is NEVER EVER "FUCK YOU I QUIT!" It is a fowardly and self-defeating way of thinking. Your man isn't any worse of a person than when you married him, it's just rhat hisname life has become dull, pointless, and inspirationless. Inject some fuel into your relationship.

>>18664008
This post comes after two glasses of whiskey. Please forgive the typos.

>>18664008
completely agreeing with this anon on not throwing in the towel. adv is very, VERY quick to suggest walking away and i really hope all the anons who recommend that aren't above the age of 18 and never had a serious relationship before. quitting is seldomly the answer. how could you possibly lead a marriage and have a family if you have to fear that your partner walks out on you when the slightest inconvenience arises?

>>18664008

I like when you good ol' run of the mill lunchbox petes always brag about spending every waking moment of your adult life working a shit manual labor job as if its some point of pride that you never did anything useful with your life.

Also, I enjoy the unhinged rant about how someone a woman is somehow at fault for the fact that her husband is a shitty, insecure, immature sack of human garbage because she hasn't "made him feel like he's a man". I understand what you're getting at and there is a shred of truth in there somewhere but its an absolutely laughable concept to suggest that its her responsibility to love and respect her man when he puts absolutely zero effort into being worthy of any love or respect. I think thats a real dumb interpretation of personal responsibility in relationship.

>>18663778
>He thinks it's hilarious funny though.
I'm laughing just while reading this thread. Wish I could meet the guy.