Problems with GF

You don't think you want to at least try an open relationship?

>>18662710
You don't have to be down to fuck all the time but you don't have an interest in trying something else aka using toys on her and shit? The sex life doesn't have to be all about you busting a nut.

If you let it sit then that's just as bad as letting her jump some bones.

having more than one friend doesn't make all your other friendships meaningless. Same with relationships.

Polygamy is practised in many different cultures.

You gotta break up. You two want different relationships. Neither is better or worse than the other, they just aren't compatible with each other.

Sometimes this happens. It's totally possible to love and care for someone that you just can't have a sustainable relationship with. Neither of you are at fault. Some times shit just doesn't work out.

So realistically you can break up now and still love and care for each other and hold onto all the awesome parts of the relationship, or you can try and force things, let the relationship sour, grow to resent each other, and still end up splitting.

>>18662718
>>18662732
Holy shit are people really advocating cuckoldry?

>>18662732
It doesn't make it right for everyone. Trying to force someone that prefers a monogamous relationship in a polygamous one is going to end as badly as forcing someone that prefers polygamy into a monogamous relationship.

>>18662738
Holy shit virgin, there's more than one type of relationship, and some people enjoy cuckoldry. Get over it.

>>18662710
She doesn't want to break up believing you will eventually change your mind and be ok with it. She already knows who she wants to fuck and you know it. You need to break up and find you a woman that would never even suggest this as an option if she loved you. Have a spine and send her away.

The problem with the concept of an open relationship is that it's not just about satiating a physical urge. If it was, she would use toys. The problem is that she wants to physically and emotionally engage with another person, and through the act of sex and the sharing of this emotional and sexual energy, she is going to develop a deeper bond with them.

I can't really speak on Polygamy, it's never been something I've had the energy or desire to engage in. When I'm with somebody, I don't look at other people and wish I was in a relationship with them. I want to give my full attention to the person that I do want to be with.

>>18662743
Its primarily white western men that prefer their wife or gf to fuck other men, its not for the rest of the world.

>>18662710
>get her a vibrator if she doesn't own one
>see if there's a way to increase your libido so you want/enjoy sex more
>consider alternative compromises in open relationship stuff
>break up amicably, love one another as close friends, see other people

Obviously, if either of you are uncomfortable with any of these you shouldn't do them. For example, I'm only guessing by reading into "have no commitment and fuck whoever they feel like" but maybe if it was something more limited you could do it? As an example, a friend of mine is asexual but has a boyfriend, so she has a specific friend who lives with them and is kind of a "shared girlfriend" where she provides the bulk of sexual gratification but has her own room and is, outside of fucking the guy, more just a friend-and-roommate kind of deal. It's contained, they're all emotionally a cohesive unit (both girls are straight, but are about as close as you'd expect from best friends or sisters), there's no secrecy or random hookups, and the guy only gets to go fuck girl b on his girlfriend's terms. Dunno if that'd work for you, but it's an option to consider.

>>18662752
Oh in that case, everything I said still applies, fucking get over it.

>>18662755
Clarification: I might have made that sound weird by calling my friend asexual and then straight later down there. She's emotionally straight, or some shit like that, fuck me I don't know how tumblr genders work.

fuck that poly shit, it never ends well.

look, you better fix your bedroom game. women want to feel desired during sex, they want to feel as if they're making you lose control over your self out of sheer lust, which is why rough sex gets most of them off so much.
you having a lower sex drive than her or just half-assedly banging her to do your job will make her feel, well, not wanted.
so she'll start looking for that elsewhere, and that's where all that open relationship bullshit comes in.

you have 2 options: either become the man she needs sexually, or wait until she finds someone else to do the job.

i can understand not wanting to have sex every day, but trust me if the sex is amazing enough most girls will be ok if it's about twice a week. that requires you to put in some effort though, don't even think it's over after you cum the first time.

>>18662738
Not a fan myself but if everyone's a consenting adult I don't give a shit what people do in the bedroom. Third person, sixty niggers, fuck a plastic mold of the shit you took this morning, whatever that's your business.

Personnally, I never really considered that sexuality had to be paired with love. Even if polygamy might be overkill, open relationships doesn't lessen your love or whatever - on the contrary, I'd even say that might strenghten your relationship by removing a taboo between you two.

>>18662770
it's no big deal, you got the message across.
outside of politically charged spaces there's rarely any need to be anal about terminology.

>>18662743
somehow at some point in the past someone decided that every sexual fetish is perfectly healthy and nothing to worry about. that doesn't make it true, though.
just like sometimes hypersexuality in women is caused by sexual abuse cuckolding could probably be an expression of some underlying psychological process.
just because there's exceptions does not make it right to straight up deny the implied causation, because that robs every person of the opportunity to see their sexual deviancy as a pointer towards something that might actually need fixing.

You have three choices:

1) Consider an open relationship
2) Force yourself to have sex with her as a compromise
3) break up

Pick the least worst option.

>>18662786
do you speak from experience or is that just something you read about somewhere?
i've seen numerous poly relationships over the years, and while i might be biased since i don't buy into the idea at all, i've yet to see a single one that did not end very uncomfortably for everyone emotionally involved. nevertheless it is becoming more and more popular, making me think that maybe it is an attempt to compensate for some facts about modern life that make relationships harder than they used to be.

and again, my observation is that it does not work to build stable relationships.

>>18662743
>>18662786

Jesus christ OP don't listen to these people. "Open relationships" are a recipe for disaster if isn't something you both want off the bat. You can't be persuaded and convinced of its benefits. It's your gf/ partner fucking other people and as hard as these people try to normalize it every single thing I've read points to a breakdown because sex is an emotional connection and it is impossible to be equally available.

Just because some people are trying to act like it's normal and healthy it isn't. It's cuckoldry in this case since you are borderline asexual. If you aren't feeling it don't let some fuckface online or your gf redefine a relationship is and tell you having her fuck and recieve cum is healthy and normal in 2017

I suggest trying something to increase your libido or address her needs.

>>18662791
As brash as this is, i've gotta agree.
Its not really a problem thats gonna go away and it'll keep eating at your relationship till it comes to a head.

>>18662760
White western male preference is not the norm. Get that through your thick Caucasian skull

>>18662791
The problem is OP's gf choice. Hey, let me fuck other men, I still love you.

>>18662818
This isn't a white western male thing. It's some shit that has existed since the 60's/70's with swingers but back then it was an extreme minority.

It's still an extreme minority of people but because they have the internet to broadcast their bullshit and ultra "liberal" and anti-traditional sites to amplify their message it's getting more attention than it deserves.

At the end of the day from every case study I've read it's a bunch of people that are incapable of solving normal relationship problems with sexuality, communication, availability and think that the best way to go about it is to basically relabel what most people would call FWB or fuck buddy roomates and call it an "open relationship". It's the same shit. You're supposed to not care that they fuck other people. You're supposed to pretend that everyone is happy. I have yet to see one of these jokes last as a partner gets too attached to their "3rd wheel" or one of the original consenting pairs wants to return to a normal relationship.

>>18662823
Or she can do that, and he can leave as OP stated already. Trying to convince someone to be happy with cuckoldry is a disgusting proposition. Either he is hyper sexual or capable of detaching emotion from sex that it would've been np ez pz or not.

>>18662787
Yo, I'd disagree. I think it's dangerous to see sexuality and kinks as a list of things to fix - even if that's just 'most of the time'. Thing is, psychologically you could find issues with litterally anybody, but it does not mean that they are issues that need fixing. Anomalies are not errors.

>>18662795
Experience, pal! Tho I might not represent well polygamists, I for myself do not do that because of past difficult relationships, or mental issues or whatever, it's simply that I don't have the same representation of what a relationship is about. I'd say polygamy works out only if all of the people involved discuss and agree upon what a relationship should be.

If she's too close-minded to accept a different life style than the one she had in mind then definitely break up with her. It's your life, not her fantasy.

>>18662710
She wants nigger dick and you will be cuck if you agree with her .

tell her that if she would get into some freakier shit in the bedroom you'd be able to get it on more frequently. Make it her fault for being too vanilla.

>>18662840

Try reading a book sometime.

>Worldwide, different societies variously encourage, accept or outlaw polygamy. According to the Ethnographic Atlas (1998), of 1,231 societies noted, 588 had frequent polygyny, 453 had occasional polygyny, 186 were monogamous and 4 had polyandry.


You're more than welcome to follow the heard and adhere to your country's dominant culture. But don't make blanket statements about shit you know squat about.

>>18662710
You should consider exercising more, eating better and going down on her/fingering her/using toys on her even if you aren't 100% horny. And while you do those things, you need to learn how to turn her on and convince her you feel the same. All this things will radically improve your sex drive and sex life.

It's already clear that you do not want an open relationship, but relationships take work and they take compromise. It's genuinely hard to be with someone with a much lower sex drive than you, because it can make a person feel unfufilled and unloved. If you want the relationship to work, fight for it. If not, end it, you seem emotionally stable enough to do it in a healthy way.

This is good advice:
>>18662723
>>18662772
>>18662806

The polygamy stuff is horrible advice, however, don't listen to it. You have made it perfectly clear that it is not something you want or are comfortable with. You'd be better off single and there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single, you may even prefer it.

>>18662844
whether it needs fixing or not is up to the individual to decide, which is why i think awareness about possible causes for specific sexual deviances from the norm is a good thing.
that does not mean i think kinks and fetishes need fixing, fuck no! i've spent the last year choking out and hitting my girlfriend and loved every minute of it, but i also figured she has some issues we eventually were able to talk about (and only that, i think its best to leave your partners psychological care to professionals for a multitude of reasons), which she was very grateful for.
it's definetly true that condemnation and forcing people into the closet are bad and it's good our society's attitude is changing. but that doesn't make everything healthy.

it's similar to how "fat acceptance" to the point of denying bad health impacts of obesity is a heap of bullshit, and i say that as someone with a thing for chubby chicks.

>>18662860
Oh, someone who actually checks facts instead of mindlessly shitposting. Thanks, pal.

Also why the fuck y'all saying shit to OP's gf? She's actually trying to solve her libido's problem, which is, in case you hadn't noticed, a natural freaking thing- and toys do not make up for sex, seriously. Less shitposting, more advicing.

>>18662738
So you're against working to fix your relationship because le cuck meme?

>>18662885
OP here, it seems to me like every girl in existence is into being choked and hit and shit, and honestly this does not turn me on at all, I think this might always be a problem for me.
I'm sure my gf wants to try rough stuff but I'm just not turned on by it, and no I'm not fucking gay or something,

>>18662898
Would it kill you to spank her or pull her hair a little? I agree that it's weird, but unless it instantly makes you flaccid/disgusts you, it might be worth trying. You may find you enjoy it after the fact, which is what happened to me, or you could just use it to release some anger or work out your forearms.

>>18662873
While I'm all for polygamy, i agree with you on that - don't force it, there are other smarter ways to solve your problem at hand.

>>18662885
Ah, I hear ya on that one. Tho it might be hard to draw the line between what might be seen as healthy or not, ultimately the ethic thing to do would be to sensibilise folks about this and raise awareness, I guess.

>>18662738
Sadly more third worlder are frequenting 4chan these days, and it's a common thing in whatever shitty country they come from. They're trying to infect first worlds with this shit.

>>18662898
I used to think it was weird aswell, because i thought it had something to do with wanting to be punished, like it was some kind of BDSM thing.
It is not about what you actually do technically, it's about the attitude you're expressing with your actions. During sex we let our body speak, and what girls want to hear is "You are so hot i'm literally about to lose my mind"
To a girl, the kind of submissiveness that comes with getting fucked roughly is almost like an act of control, like she's mind-controlling you with her beauty, turning you into a prehistoric savage.
In the end sex is a lot about back-and-forths of power, dominance, submission and control that don't really make a lot of sense logically once you talk about them, unless you're willing to spend a long time talking...

Anyway, to make things short, you don't have to suddenly start doing things that you think are weird. Trust me, things like choking and especially hitting someone only work if it's the exact right moment and both of you are on the same wavelength, it's risky shit and if you do it without really wanting to it will just be awkward as fuck.

Instead, try to build up some genuine carnal desire for your girlfriend, go nofap for a while, keep fantasizing about her, whatever makes you horny.
Next time you have sex, try to get that hunger you have for her across without actually saying something. Grab her, press yourself against her, pull her close to you, bite her neck, run your hands through her hair pulling lightly, once you're in the zone these things come naturally.
More likely than not, she'll respond noticeably to what she likes, always focus on her reactions, you're having a conversation after all, even though it's without words.

Don't worry if "rough" isn't your thing, in the end PASSIONATE is what it all boils down to.
The choking is just the icing on top that happens to be popular right now.

>>18662710
Let me guess, Your gf lives with you and would struggle on her own. No wonder she doesn't want to break up.

>>18662938
nope

>>18662951
Then I don't understand why you don't get rid of her. She thinks you will reconsider and based on some of your comments I believe you have.

>>18662710
Drink ginseng tea. Ginseng is a natural aphrodisiac.

>>18662738
Cuckoldry implies it's one-sided but both people in an open relationship gets to fuck whoever they want.

"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."
"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own... Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy."
-Robert A. Heinlein

In other words, you aren't a true man until you stop giving a fuck about who your wife or girlfriend fucks and start fucking anyone you please as well.

>>18662893
They're not working to fix anything. It would be a shortcut and it would be a fwb arrangement not a bf/gf. Try and normalize cuckoldry all you want but it's a shortcut and not a compromise between 2 people. It's introducing more people to bandaid fix a problem.

>>18662898
OP, that's not the case. My gf had me try the choking thing but didn't like it. There's a difference between lustful moments and romantic ones but not every girl is into the hardcore gagging/bruising kind of shit.

>>18662924
I think it's one guy in this thread posing as multiple posters. Got that same elaborate, psuedo sophisticated, drawn out writing.

>>18662710
Why can't you stimulate her in other ways than putting your dick in her pussy?

Lick her, do dildos, watch porn together.

Even if you're not super horny, you could still do activities with your gf out of compassion and niceness.

Or do you think it is too much work for you?

You could fuck her with a strapon... whatever.

>>18662710

Ask her how she'd feel if you lived with someone else and she was the side-chick you'd have romantic dates with.

She only wants one kind of "openness" that just so happens to secure the thing women care more about, steady relationships, leaving her open to fuck chads.

>>18662734
Thread should have ended here.

This is most reasonable and accurate answer in the thread, not that there weren't other reasonable replies as well, but this one nailed it and was pretty simple to understand.

The fact that OP keeps going makes me think he doesn't really want a definitive response and just wants to talk to people.

don't do it. I know someone who tried it and it almost ruined a marriage

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>>18662924
Cuckoldry is a proud aspect of Western tradition and culture you self-hating shitskin

>>18664325
JIDF please go

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>>18662710
1.
BREAK UP
BREAK UP
BREAK UP

If she even so much considered doing this, she is worthless as a woman. You do not want to be in a relationship with someone thay openly wants to fuck other men. Tell her it was a deal breaker and end it now. If anything, you will gain her respect again, and your own self-respect which is much more important.

2. I'm a 30 year old and I'm ready to fuck every single day. Maybe there is something wrong with your testosterone levels, get that checked out by a doctor.

3. Hit the gym and lift. It will boost your self confidence, your testosterone levels and your sex drive. You will feel more confident and attractive helping you with points 1 and 2.

Ignore all the cucks. Not a single one of them leads a happy life. It always ends badly.

>>18664344
He has a point though, cuckoldry is extremely common in western culture, because anywhere else and it is outright seen as adultery.

>>18662732
Sure, I accept that monogamy is an incidental part of western societies. However, as a member of a western society, monogamy means something to me. Specifically, it means that a relationship is successful (enough) and the house is stable (enough). On the opposite end of the spectrum, polygamy suggests that somebody fucked up, big time. That's just what it means to me. Obviously it doesn't have to, but it does, and it probably always will. I don't want to be a cuck, because I don't like what that means in the context of where and when I live. If one day that's acceptable, it'll still make me a bit sick to my stomach, and I'll feel great embarrassment for its participants, even if they think I'm crazy. Maybe in the future, this will be okay, but right now, for me, OP, and many others, it's just not fucking acceptable. Open relationships mean something, and right now they say something very negative about its participants, especially the men involved.

Even most leftist nu men and womyn accept this sort of thing in romance. You can't force polygamy on somebody who wants no part in it. It'd just feel wrong to that person forever.

>>18662710
OP we should just swap girlfriends. Mine is really caring and nice, just pretty asexual and pretty romantic. I just want a horny girl that craves my cock twice a day. Ok problem solved :)

>>18662818
Oh, it's not the norm? Well then, seriously, get the fuck over it. People enjoy things that you don't.

>>18662710
DON’T GET TRAPPED
Finally don‟t get trapped in a situation that you don‟t enjoy.
If you are put in a situation that you don‟t enjoy you cannot flinch, but you need to stay in control of the situation. Many times this will mean that the relationship is going to have to end, but in that case it‟s the best for the both of you.
When you are in a situation where she is ok with continuing to do the things that make you stuffer and you don‟t leave her, then you are going to be trapped. She is going to have all the power over the relationship and will leave you as soon as she gets bored.
Sometimes things can get muddled up and you might be trying to help her, or you pity her, or you otherwise think that you are being the good guy, but that‟s a mistake. What is most likely to happen is that she will end up abusing the situation, often not even consciously.
Remember that you can‟t save her, you can‟t make her happy, only she can. The only thing you can do is support her on her journey, but if that would mean neglecting yourself then you are going to have to let go, because else you are only going to get hurt.

>>18662710
Reading the replies to this thread really make me wonder about the /adv/ demographic. We are either dealing with a lot of women, a lot of mentally ill gays/traps, or straight up trolls - because I can't fathom any other type of person that would write such retarded advice

OP, start using anabolic steroids and fuck her brains out or just break up. This shit isn't complicated. An open relationship is absolutely ridiculous and something a sub-human would engage in

have you considered trying to fuck her more?
if she's bothered by the situation to the point of suggesting an open relationship you should at least try a middle road where you fuck her more often than you do now
>but i don't want to waah waah
then just break up, you can't expect her to just bear all the negative stress of the relationship by herself to accomodate you. Either you both work together to meet each other or there's no point

You have some health or psy issues if you don't want to fuck at least every 2 days.

Or you're bored of her.

Make sure you avoid stress, sleep enough and eat well.

Or ask her for rimjobs, if this doesn't make you rock hard you're doomed.

>>18662738
/adv/ is literally r'ddit

>>18662743
get over what motherfucker
he just insulted your pathetic ass
bitch

>>18662710
Break up with her because she is going to cheat on you. She wants dick, you aren't giving, she's gonna get it somewhere else.