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Anonymous
Boyfriend of 3 years 2017-08-26 10:40:14 Post No. 18660905
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Boyfriend of 3 years 2017-08-26 10:40:14 Post No. 18660905
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My boyfriend (21) of 3 years has been having doubts since the beginning of the relationship. We have a great relationship and he constantly talks about how perfect I am and how he wants to marry me. At the same time, doubts pop into his head whether that's truly what he wants. He says it's either me or no woman at all. These doubts cause him to sometimes not want to see me for a few days or to last minute cancel on dates. (We're students living with our parents.)
Now I've told him we can go on a break if that's what he needs. So he can freely travel the world or not do anything at all. He doesn't want that because he's scared he'll fall in love with someone else and lose me.
I don't know what to do. Should I break up for his sake, because he's too scared to do it himself? (And obviously mine, since I have no interest in a doubtful man.) Or should I refrain from making his decisions for him? I can stick it out some more since our relationship is pretty good besides this issue. I'm pretty sure that if the doubts have been there for three years, they won't ever go away tho. Or is it an age thing?
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>>18660905
End it
he will never be truly sure until he gains more life experience.
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I'm 24. I love my gf of 3 years to bits but also have these thoughts of leaving her. I would only love her or no one at all.
I think it's best to stay together while its good, stick together through the bad times (e.g. disease, death in family) and before we know it, we'll be old.
Sharing your life together is also about naking sacrifices, small or great. You can't be together if you do not prioritize your loved one over your dreams, because when you do, you create new dreams.
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i'd always prefer fixing a long relationship to starting a new one, since relationships can be seen a little bit like trees. it might be rough now, but the growth still adds up and you'll always have to start from scratch with a new one.
however he should make up his damn mind, or find out what it actually is that causes him "doubt", i feel like most people in their early 20s have this huge fear of missing out, as in today's society it's seen as that short time window after the awkwardness of puberty and before having to "settle down"
it's a really shitty way of thinking, but something almost anyone at that age struggles with.
but it could be something entirely different and much more personal between you and him, which obviously we cannot know here.
so you're saying it's been like this for the entire 3 years?
maybe he just needs a lot of "me-time" but has a hard time telling you that, hence the regular outbreaks of not wanting to see you.
again, assuming he's worth it, fight to make it work, if you manage to make it through something like this it will only bring you closer together.
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