I've been through quite the psychological journey here,

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164KB, 608x608px

I've been through quite the psychological journey here, and I can't take this anymore. I need help.

There is this girl that I met two years back during my sophomore year of high school. We were very close to each other, we shared memes all the time, spent late nights texting each other, and went to how many football games we could. She was the one for me. I know it may seem too late to feel love for the first time, but she was literally the first person I've ever loved, so I did not know what to do then. She gave me a shit ton of hints, as in watching movies at her house, putting her head on my shoulder, wearing my hoodies, etc. But for how fucking stupid I am, I felt I was trapped. I felt that she was the most precious thing in my life, and I did not want to skrew things up and have her to go away. Months later, I think she felt I was not into her in that sort of way, and she went with some other guy.

Fast forward two years. She broke up with two guys, including the one previously mentioned, and I believe she is with somebody else. We haven't talked to each other in two years. We don't hate each other of course, but we share brief awkward stares sometimes in the hallways. Through her breakups, she created new Facebook accounts, and she always friends me. I try to move on, and see her only as a friend, but I start hurting again soon after, and I secretly remove her from my friends list to censor the feeling away from me. I'm afraid that she might of caught on to this, and think that I hate her.

It's my senior year now, and I really want to express my feelings, but I don't want to be selfish. She is probably in a relationship, and I don't want to affect it in any way for my own cause. I don't want to part ways with her without saying anything for closure, either. I need some help. Please.

Help.