Contemplating Marriage

If you're not sure don't do it. She's probably after half your assets and potential child support if she's pushing heavily. Talk to her to find out what her motives are and to share your reservations. If she gets pissed tell her to fuck off.

if you're not sure she's the one then she isn't.

>>18658470
In Europe we have this thing called separation of property regime, spouses can declare it before or at the moment of the wedding or even after. It means what's mine is mine and stays mine and what's yours is yours and stays yours, for good and bad. Many couples prefer it to the default communal regime.

Don't you have something like this in the US? I'm always appalled when I hear americans talking about marriage because separation of property is an extremely obvious and natural thing to me.

>>18658491
even in europe, you'll have to pay your wife if she stayed home to look after the household and the kids if you divorce. but thb, i think that's pretty since she wasnmt getting ahead in her career during that time fair after all.

but yeah, americans know how to act all dramatic and sorry for themselfes.
as if you could get married and have a family and then end that with a clean cut as if it had never happened. we have a saying that basically goes like this "check what binds forever". if you're stupid enough to marry a vapid whore then my empathy is fast approaching zero.

>>18658491

I'm Asian (in Asia yes) so the all my income will go to the wife.

It's to culture and in fine with that.

I'm just think it's unwise to marry before you've had a bunch of relationships

>>18658491
There's prenuptial agreements but those get thrown out too often to justify the hassle for me. Property ownership depends upon the state you're living in. For example, Texas views property obtained before the marriage or through inheritance as belonging to the person who owned/inherited it, but any property obtained after is considered owned by both. The tricky part is if the money from one spouse's property goes into a joint account, that's considered owned by both. Other states view it as when you're married you automatically share half the ownership to any and everything you own, and some states have even more complex rules regarding marriage and who gets what during divorce

>>18658520
as i said, that's not unfair per definition. after all, you get married - you become a team. that's only an issue if you marry an evil bitch. and that's entirely up to you to prevent.

>>18658520
>Separate property systems

>Separate property systems are based on the premise that marriage is solely an interpersonal union.

>Separate Property: All property, pre-marital or marital, is owned separately. (French séparation de biens, Spanish separación de bienes, Dutch scheiding van goederen, koude uitsluiting, German Gütertrennung, Italian separazione dei beni)

Everyday I'm thankful I was born in a civilized country. You really not have this in the US?

>>18658525
It is unfair though because as a rather well-off woman I do not want anyone, not even my husband, to have any say over my property. It's mine and mine exclusively, if my husband loved me he would not want to steal it from me and would respect my request for separation of property. Even in a marriage I am still my own person with my own views, which is why I'm marrying a man who respects that. It's good not being american.

>>18658545
if you enter marriage with the intention to keep things "mine and yours", then you're already fucked. you don't have what it takes to make a lifelong relationship last. i strongly agree with wanting to stay your own person! i also strongly agree with marrying someone who lets you stay your own person. but those are things that can and will never be determined by laws. if you arenmt able to stay your own person in a relationship and if you marry someone who wants to devour you, then that's your own stupidity and no laws could have prevented that. vice versa, if you are ble to do that and marry a person who has similar views then even the shitties laws won't fuck you over since you are both mature adults who handle things in civilized manners even if it isn't unicorns and rainbows anymore. how people behave during divorce is just a sign of how mature they are and not tied to laws.
tldr: don't marry an immature person and don't be one if you get married.

>>18658559
>no laws could have prevented that

Actually plenty of laws can prevent that, which is why separate property systems exist. They exist to protect someone from financial and property abuse during their marriage as well as in divorce. My mother demanded separation of property for her marriage and she's still married 40 years later. So your premise that "if you have the intention to keep things "mine and yours" you don't have what it takes to make a lifelong relationship last' is false, sorry leech. I read horror stories of american spouses destroying objects that are emotionally valuable to their partners and said partners can't anything about it because "oh it's my property too, I can do whatever the fuck I want with it" or getting kicked out of their own houses and I'm appalled you are trying to justify abuse like that. There can be and are plenty laws to prevent and punish people for acting abusive like that.

>don't marry an immature person
i.e. Someone who doesn't agree to complete separation of property. Glad we agree on that.

>>18658584
the horror stories are about the immature people i'm talking about. and if you marry one of those, then no, laws won't protect you from them trying to destroy you with every move they make. they serve to soften the blow of immature divorces, but they won't ever make a divorce between two idiots peaceful. idiots will always find ways to make their former spouse "bleed". that's because they think you "own them" something or that they have a right to "revenge". both extremely stupid ideas that laws will never wipe out of their brain. if they're set on getting back to you, they WILL find a way. i don't say i don't think those laws are useful. atleast they make it harder for idiots to fuck each other up during divorce. but can they prevent it? no. the only reliable preventation is making sure you marry a person who's not mentally 10.

>>18658595
>laws won't protect you from them trying to destroy you with every move they make

I see you are shifting the goalposts. We aren't talking about people being dicks in a general way; we are talking about people feeling entitled to act in a way with their spouse's property that goes against their spouse's intention and wishes. You said laws can't prevent that. Well that's bullshit because laws that state and protect separation of property serve precisely to prevent that, and rightfully punish those who try anyway.

>i don't say i don't think those laws are useful

Funny because your defeatist attitude says otherwise.

>>18658609
laws can prevent someone from getting half of your savings, sure. but they can't prevent someone from burning your beloved collection of rare stamps. ofc it will have consequences, but that won't bring back the stamps.
what i'm trying to say is that those laws are only in place because they were necessary to keep the stupidest of idiots atleast halfway in check. but they will never be able to provide a full safety net. the only real safety net is not marrying an idiot.

also, i'm just trying to say that you should really think about who you marry. and that my empathy for idiots who rant about getting fucked over in divorce because they were stupid enough to marry other idiots is not very high.
you can disagree, that's alright. it's just my opinion and not a law.

>>18658533
>>Separate Property: All property, pre-marital or marital, is owned separately.

how do I go achieving this if I'm american? Am I just fucked?

>>18658628
>ofc it will have consequences

Not if you're american

>>18658643
not my problem. you made your bed, now lay in it.

>>18658650
I'm not married, cretin
or are you saying all americans are cretins for letting their marriage laws be absolutely unfair shit? I agree with that

>>18658662
i meant the second. if you hate your laws so much, then do something against it. sitting there and whining won't change shit.
that's like fat people complaining about being fat but refusing to eat less and exercise. do what needs to be done or shut up.