I might be falling for a trap

>>18657819

While I was heading back to my unit we happened to take the same elevator. He was in his late teens to his early twenties pretty much what you'd expect a trap to look like, long hair, slim using a bit more cosmetics than you'd expect a straight guy would use, slightly feminine clothes. I expect small talk and end it there but to my surprise, he actually asked after my well being. He mentioned that I always looked tired and asked if I've been eating enough I wanted to lash out at him and tell him to mind his own fucking business but I suppose there was a chink in my defenses seeing as 4chan has mostly been the only human contact that I've had for the past few years (you guys have been with me through thick and thin, thank you for that Anons). So I tell him that yeah, I was pretty tired but I told him that I was about to grab dinner at my unit. He sees through my bullshit and tells me that people here never really see me bring food up. I do what any man clinging to the last strings of his dignity would do and bullshit him that I eat out, again stupid me lying badly.

He tries to keep at it but the elevator saved me and I managed to avoid the situation. My dignity intact, I do my best to forget about it. Next day, I get something I have never had since I lived in this place - someone knocking on my door. Its him and he says he brought food, I try evading again but it smelled so good and I haven't really been eating well. A few weeks later he managed to worm his way into my life, sometimes he cooks for me, sometimes he asks me to come over and play some vidya or watch TV, I would refuse but this laptop has been my only source of entertainment in like forever. At first I thought he was just one of those metrosexuals but as we got close, he started to feel less shy and began wearing more feminine and feminine and last week was the worst when we had a couple of drinks while hanging out and playing vidya.

>>18657822
Drunk as I was and desensitized by enough trap threads from literally every board here and before I notice he went from leaning on me to sitting on my lap. I managed to get ahold of myself before we went past making out but its too fucking late and now its been weird with my best and only friend. We pretended nothing happened after but this week has been particularly hellish, as I start to realize that whenever he texts me I get these weird feelings that I soon identified as the butterflies. The weekend draws near and I have no idea how I can possibly handle this.

There are two things that trouble me, first is the most obvious one, I don't think I'm gay and while a soft bodied kid in drag might fool my drunken brain I don't think I'll ever have it in me to look at another man's dick. The second problem is, while I do genuinely appreciate the friendship that he's given me and even if I can look past said dick, I don't think I can be in a relationship. My life is simply too fucked up right now and I can't be dealing with fucking butterfiles and sleepless nights like I'm some fucking schoolboy having a crush for the first time.

What do I fucking do?

>>18657826
You accept and embrace you are probably bi, and there is nothijg wrong with it.

You are lonely, fix your life and don't feel guilty about liking a trap, many would like to be in your pants, don't kink shame yourself. Traps are seen as lesser in society, but they are no less than anyone, they are just people.
Just do what you want to do, stop overthinking, don't punish yourself

Accept new experiences and new kinks, accept what life takes and what life gives. But if you don't truly wanted or if you know you won't be able tonhandle it then don't


Just do what you feel like doing, no judging, no overthinking

Your life sounds like something that needs to be fixed, so pay your debts and make plans to better it

got pics?

and take it slow man you don't know what he meant by that.

post more homo story

>>18657983
I'd rather keep it anonymous. And as for interpretation, he sat on my lap and we made out extra wet. Even if it was a bro kiss the fact remains that I've begun to realize that I'm kind of falling for him too. Like I said, my heart hurts a bit when he sends me cute texts and it takes every ounce of control to keep myself from texting him back. I also lose equal amounts of sleep from thinking about him and fearing dicks and the slippery slope towards meatlog valley.

>>18658000
Sometimes when I cant get overtime he asks me to accompany him as he goes grocery shopping. We don't hold hands or anything and if he wasn't a trap it would probably feel like I'm just out with my best friend. There are times when it feels like he wants to hold hands but worries about how I would respond. Basically its like being with a younger girl while simultaneously having someone who enjoys similar things. And yes, looking back I guess I must have been not!dating him for a while now.

Jesus christ I'm a cunt, no matter how this turns out I'm probably also hurting another human being.

>>18658012
ease up bro. and u sure you had no pics? no outfit pics?

This is so sweet. I guess you gotta sit down with him and discuss things. Tell him what you told us. That you aren't ready for a relationship, and would like to stay friends. About the feelings, maybe they'll pass? I don't know. Either way, you gotta settle things with him.

Bro, you're overcomplexifying a lil' bit, arent'ya?
You tell us you have butterflies for him. Well then, case closed! Don't care about what it'll make you, or what others will think of you. You're not hurting anyone by being with a trap, so don't back down because of that!

>>18658046
and if youre strictly against the cock, just imagine how cute he will look when you make him feel good, and how he will only show you that side of him.

>>18658034
There is a third possibility. What if its just me and I end up spilling my spaghetti and getting laughed out of the complex?

>>18658071
thats why you have to own up to your own feelings, man. this is in no way one sided so you better not reject him as if it was, or youll hurt him massively.

I'm sorry Anon but you're probably a fag. Just accept it and you may find peace

I'll sleep on it. I have been for the past week so what's another 5 hours? Either way I do feel much better for venting.

>>18658189
Hope things work out for you.

Wait wait wait.

Did you say no homo after you made out?

Damn I want a trap friend

I've yet to really meet a guy who exudes a lot of feminine energy tho, AND I have only lived in large coastal cities.

Maybe I'm not looking in the right places.

>>18658320
I have a theory that because of how I am, trapfriends assume that I'll make them feel bad about not being masculine, and thus avoid me.

I want to be sassed up and put in place by a qt trapfriend half my weight

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Love is love my friend, if you love someone, that is home.

FUCK HIM YOU FAGGOT

>>18657819
>>18657822
Honestly, that's one of the best love stories I heard in a while. Trapbro sounds like a real treasure. Hell, the way you describe how he acted toward you, I guess I'd be falling for him too, even though I'm not a homosexual and dislike the idea of traps. I think you should keep him.

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>>18658247
Kek


Anyway OP I say do it. You'd regret not trying. Once balls don't touch it's not gay.

>>18658913
I didn't mean to post any image, Mimi tricked me.

I don't have anything to contribute, but this is a really cute story.

Be yourself and fuck what u want

One of my oldest friends who's been with a few chicks was hiding his relationship with a trap from our friend group and the only awkward thing about it was that he was trying to hide it so badly. Our group consists of obnoxious chads who can't go without talking about pussy at least 7 times a day and no one really blinked an eye

Tl;dr no one should care about your preferences except parents

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>>18658012
OP this could be your shot at complete happiness and comfort and you're seriously doubting it because of the shitty "traps are gay" meme. So what if you're into a cute boy? There's lots of intelligent and successful people who are into that sort of thing. You don't have to flaunt it but don't be so ashamed of it that it prevents you from finding true happiness in life. You've let a fucking anime imageboard contort your own confidence to the point where it's deteriorating your sanity. Give it a shot with this guy and if you end up totally grossed out by whatever comes next you still have the closest friend you could ever ask for.

>get to have the trap experience that is literally the stuff of imageboard legends
>spits in destinys face which gave him this one in a million shot at happiness that completely bylasses womens bullshit

I would murder you with my bare hands to take your place.

Also post more trap story for the love of god ao that i can daydream about it being me rather than you this is happening to

Pls...post more trap ;__;

>>18659065
Not OP but I can post some but it would go in a bad direction saying since he turned out to be a total dick
(Always made "jokes" about me that went too far for one)

>>18659252
Go ahead and post faglord, i need to get my rocks off.

Jesus fucking christ anon - are you sure you're not just some fujoshi writing a yaoi (homo porn) fanfic? It sounds like the textbook storyline:

1. Tortured manly man struggling through life with hidden suffering

2. Feminine boyish/girlish shining light comes along and softens his harded heart.

>>18657819
Meh. Fuck it, YOLO. Fucking traps isnt as big a deal as people think it is honestly

While I did feel better for venting, last night's attempt at proper sleep was once again ineffectual. Also, a lot of guys seem to be judging me from their ivory towers of your pre existing fetishes. I'd like to remind you that this wasn't intentional for me. Up until recently it was just time spent with my best friend who happened to have strange tastes when it come to dressing up.

Anyway, I've given it some thought and while its pretty damn gay for me to admit being attracted to an admittedly feminine man, it would be even gayer if I acted like a beta bitch waiting for him to take initiative. We're going out later and I think it would be the best time to have our talk. I'll probably stop taking alcohol with him until we have this sorted out just so I can't bitch out later and blame it on the drink.

>>18659895
Again, easy for you to say. I don't understand why you would consider this to be a good thing or even pleasant experience when its been a very stressful time for me to the point that I've reached out for help in an anonymous image board that is extremely likely to ostracize me of all places. Why would someone lie about this shit? Do you think its fun? It fucking isn't, I've been questioning everything I believed in and it feels like I've even less control of my life if such a thing were possible.

Maybe one day you would go through a similarly difficult experience and we'll see how well you cope.

>>18659910
shut up and post more trap taking care of his man stories, goddammit.

>>18658671
this

you shouldn't be restricted by what people say online, what else do they know?
love is love and if you love them then that's it
besides, it's not like you're going to lose anything, right?

more trap stories plz.....

I think you're too bothered by commitment trauma.
You're making up excuses why you would make a bad partner, but worst case scenario it will be good experience.
Also sexuality is a spectrum. You're attracted to femininity and it's fine. Femininity is a characteristic. If you (presumably) get hard around her then your hormones are in check and you're functioning properly. Plus, you make a big deal that it's just a friend but romantic partners are usually friends.

This is like every gayboys fantasy scenario OP I think it's bullshit.

If not bullshit let us know how it goes though. This shit is way too cute.

How does he/she/whatever identify as? The only problem is if you only feels attracted to him because he's feminine, so you wouldn't be full gay mode, and he identify himself as a full male in women's clothes.

>>18661168
I guess a huge part of this relationship was made possible because he inst one of those types that spouted his political views and asked to be referred by special pronouns. I do know that he takes some sort of medication to help him look the way he is.

can we get an update

Separate update post because I suppose I owe it to you guys:

Today was a long day and I spent most of it with him.

We went out this afternoon and drove to the farmers market he's been wanting to check out. After shopping he asked me if we could spend time taking a walk and while we were doing so he did that thing where he wanted to hold hands again, I decided to take this opportunity to come clean like many of you suggested so in an effort to do right by him I started by offering my hand this time which I did not regret after seeing how happy he was. It was a strange kind of happy, not some weird ear to ear smile but more of well, I can't describe it, a sort of calm quiet joy accompanied by a soft smile. Can 'genuine' be enough to describe it? Maybe not, but I am not a very eloquent person.

I suppose this was when I lost all doubt and accepted the position i was in, Just like many of you have pointed out. Even if I did screw up most of my life, don't I deserve to pursue happiness just like everyone else? Thus far this friendship we had has been all give and no take for him so if the price for a chance at giving at least a little of that happiness back was the occasional odd glance, then I suppose it was worth it.

I started by bringing up last week and telling him that while it may have been a spur of the moment thing brought on by a little too much alcohol, it didn't change the fact that I did actually enjoy it. I told him how I felt, and how being with him made me feel and he in turn shared his feelings. Its kind of strange isn't it? I've been dating all these women all this time and it had to be now when I decided to think with my heart rather than my head or my dick. I asked if we could take it slow but I did agree that this made us 'official' now. Its embarrassing and probably inappropriate to bring this up but he did ask me to kiss him then and there and rather than feeling repulsion or shame, I admit there was a feeling of rightness to it.
(tbc)

>>18661785
hawt

I wish I had a trap gf that would take care of me when I get home from work but nooooo, I have to eat cold sandwiches and sleep alone every night with only my dark thoughts to keep me company. The only things that brings me comfort anymore is the fact that the sweet release of death will choose me one day and free me from this existential nightmare.

>>18661785
(cont)
It wasn't the sloppy kind of Hollywood/porno kiss mind you, he went on tip toes to reach me and to help make it easier I lowered my head to meet him half way and well, we locked lips for a bit, no tongue or anything and resumed our walk.

I don't normally eat in restaurants because I think its expensive as fuck but it was a special occasion so I decided it was worth the expense. Nothing special mind you, but I did come to enjoy it.

Eventually we went home and dropped the groceries by at his place. We talked a bit more at his couch and I reminded him that I don't think we should have any booze this time.The rest of the night was spent talking and before I noticed it was starting to get late. He asked me if I wanted to stay over for the night but I reminded him to take it slow. As a compromise, I agreed to spoon with him a little, and yeah we did make out a little more this time around. I wasn't really ready for sex just yet but I did rub his chest for a bit while he grinded his butt against me. I don't know what you call those meds but it wasn't as I feared. Sure there was still a firmness to his body but unlike what I expected, he was also very soft. I started to feel a half chub coming and while he did ask me again, I decided that it was best if we didn't just yet. We spooned a bit more as I did some frantic mental gymnastics to keep Anon jr from poking him and I managed to get through the night without too many problems.

I'm home now and typing after a cold fucking shower as I type this out to you guys and he's probably asleep by this point. All in all I think it was alright, there was a line I crossed and I guess and some of you may call me a degenerate now but I do feel good about the decisions I made and I think I can make this work out.

Youre not gay, but you're bi. Even if you aren't, so what. Unless you're religious I don't see why you're making a big deal out of it. You have a companion, it's what humans live for.

im sad that this will probably the last update and we will never know what will happen to op and trapbro later in their relationship

>>18661843
Daily updates like "I tried boy anal for the first time" and "sucked my first dick" isn't going to be fair for anyone involved. It would not only be invasive but also be severely off topic and obnoxious.

>>18661886
of course i know that but reading thru these made me realized that I never had any kind of intimate moment in my 25 years of life and this was the only way to fill the emptiness

>>18661892
I'm 30, you still have plenty of time.

>>18661812
poodick ass nigga

>>18657819
Hit it off with him and subtly bring up the trap thing hes doing. You are straight enough to know you like vagina but obviously like looking at trap threads and are interested so just go ahead and do the dirty but make sure hes your kind of gay.

>>18657826
Since im taking a shit right now im gonna make this quick, first of all you dont need love you are confused about yourself and for others for me its a psychological move from that person who is helping you i.e giving you foods and wanting you to play video games with him. Yeah its not bad but knowing that this shit keeps getting deeper and deeper things will be hard to get out, bromance is okay you are not gay anon, he knows that you need some important stuff all you have to do is to repay him back dont ever think that loving the trap is a good idea, no i know you can fuck the shit out of that guy but no. Be friends with him and watch out for him protect him or do what ever you want but there is a reason why he is doing this find that reason. Remember the one that falls inlove first will lose the game of love not sex not yaoi not cock sucking but love.

>>18657826
fuck xer right in the boipucci you double beta

>>18661785
Traps are gay anon, you're not likley Bi but pansexual is the right word. Means you're attracted to a person no matter what they're packing if you find them hot.
[spoiler]thats pretty cute though[/spoiler]

>>18657819
>I work for about 12~14 hours a day
Damn anon, do you have debts or intend to buy a house?

>>18662413
Inherited a few debts, and yeah, a house would be ideal.

>>18661812
Cute

>>18661785
>>18661812
Thanks for the update anon. Cute as fuck, wish you both the best.

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>>18661812
I wish you best, Anon.

>>18657826

So wait does he dress up in womens' clothes or not?

>>18661812

You should let him jerk you off/suck you off