I think I have issues. Help.

Perhaps the guilt is because you know yourself that after realizing their interested, you follow through?

>>18657405
No it's the feeling of shameful and guilty. Because I don't like them the way they like me. I enjoy their company and that's it. If they show me a little more than this and started to be more physically involved I will be reserved and just want to avoid them. And it shows on my face

>>18657366
I think my ex was kind like you op, we only "dated" briefly, but no sex or anything physical, she had a really weird reaction to those things. And she wasn't good at communicating so didn't allow us to talk through the problem and find a solution.
I trualy loved her with all my heart and I've been devastated since she pushed me away and stopped talking with me. I still cry every day and my life has lost meaning without her.

Anyway, I would suggest seeing a psychologist, and yea maybe you experienced some kind of abuse that you have blocked out, idk. Try to work this out asap before breaking more hearts like my ex did. I'm considering killing myself because of it all..

>>18657366
Seems you've got bad cases of avoidant personality and antisocial personality. Could be because unresolved childhood trauma and maybe some abuses.

You'll have to see the professional to get those sorted ASAP or your relationship with others will never be as intimate as you wanted.

IF, and IF by any chance it's just how you are, I hope you'll find a partner that'll accept you and will never giving up on penetrating you.

>>18657774
can avoidant personality disorder be cured? Or is it forever?

>>18657801
It's not some kind of disease that'll have some pills to cure it. Forever or not entirely dependant on yourself.

The road to recovery would be long and gradual, the result would not be spontaneous, yet in long run if you're sticking to it you'll look back to yourself back then and able to see how much you're improved.

Most people would give up in the middle if there's no mental health professional monitoring them, or they have supportive circle of family/friends.

>>18657714
I think I did it to a good man already and he just recently got married but never stopped thinking about me. For now he's like a brother to me, he appreciate me and care about my situation than the love that he would never have. He hopes I will find out someone that loves me for who I am and I can totally comfortable around that person. There was a little bit odd since we have mutual friends and his wife befriended me later after he introduced her to our group. She knew about our history. Although it more from his side than mine since I never had any romantic feelings for him rather than enjoying his company.
So yeah I should stop doing this, hitting on people and then run away from them.
>>18657774
Thing that scares me the most was I have chronic pain and being attacked feeling whenever some kind of flashback that I don't even know if it's an actual memory.
I can feel the pain and the panic as if it's happening at that moment.
Also I got arousel when watching to bdsm porn or fantasy about being raped. There was a time when I felt so bad about myself and shameful

Oh one more thing. Where should I go for? A therapist? Counselor or psychiatrist?