Who's in the right here?

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Some overbearing parents can. My mother would do and at times still does the same. We had a lot of fights before a healthy distance was established.

I'm 33 and completely independent living in a different country and she still calls in panic each time there's a terrorist attack / natural disaster thousands of Km away...

It's a sign she loves you but it can be very annoying. Just learn to live with it and establish limits progressively.

>>18657349
The night-out check-in may be a bit much, but it's a tiny inconvenience to you and makes your mother so much happier, so why not?

The daily message while away sounds totally normal. You admit this is your first time away - that means it is her first time having you away, and she's going to worry.

There's something more going on here. You send dozens of texts to various people every day. Why are you balking at just one more?

>>18658464
We had quite a lot of fights a couple years ago, me basically trying to push her away, my motivation being because I feel uncomfortable having such a close relationship, feeling like I'm a child. It probably came out of the blue for me to suddenly start trying to push her away, it may well have come across quite cold, she reacted very negatively to it, giving me the kinds of expressions of shock like I was saying I basically wanted to end any kind of relationship we had altogether (which of course I wasn't).

There were a couple of times where she had gone to bed and cried, with her telling me afterwards or my sister chastising me for making my mum cry. In the end, the relationship is essentially the same as it was before, no distance was established and my mum is happy with it, though I'm not.

One more little thing, I still call my mum "mummy". I remember trying to change it a couple of times, particularly when I was about 10 and found it quite embarrassing, my mum basically arguing back with "aw but I like it, I don't want you to call me "mum", it's just a bit..." an basically trailing off, so not really an argument, just her making me feel sorry for her for me to keep calling her "mummy". Just writing this pisses me off.

>>18658823
See what you mean with first point. You admit it's a "bit much" and why don't I just keep doing it to make her that much happier. Could it not also be argued that it's a bit much and so this should be limited?

Second point I see what you mean, it is the very first time and completely different to anything I've ever done.

As for the last point, when I think about it I suppose it's actually minor. I interpret it as me not being left alone, even if it's just a single text at 11pm.

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>>18658926

That totally sounds like what happened to me. I had to claw my independence inch and nail. The most important thing will be becoming financially independent and moving out. You'll get there but it will take some hard work and nerves of steel to get over those emotional outbreaks.

Have fun on your trip dude!