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I have a date with a guy I like tomorrow and he wants to go to a cafe in my town that I have been to before. On multiple occasions when I have eaten at this cafe, the whole cafe has been disrupted by families and their special needs family members screeching, groaning and throwing shit. I understand that it's not their fault but the families just let them behave like screaming children.
One day a family sat in the booth next to us with their overweight adult child in a wheelchair at the end of the table and let her throw potatoes against the wall of the cafe, I shit you not they yelled at a waitress when she asked that the 'child' stop doing it.
My point is, I don't want to go there and when I told my date he asked why. I couldn't think of a good reason so he brushed it off and said "don't be silly, it's great." Should I tell him the real reason and risk getting hit with a "my [insert family member] is autistic" ? Also have you had any similar experiences and how have you dealt with them?
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You should probably grow a backbone. It's a date; one of the things you should be measuring up is willingness to compromise. When you tell your date you don't want to go somewhere and the answer is "Why?" that's some bullshit. Why? Because that's how feelings work.
Tell him you'd like to go somewhere else. In the spirit of compromise you should come up with the alternative location. But it should be okay to express a preference to a romantic partner without having to justify or argue it.
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>>18656498
Just offer him an alternative, and just say a half-truth like "lots of families go there and bring their children and there's lots of noise, etc, I know this XYZ place where it's much quieter" or some shit.
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>>18656503
>When you tell your date you don't want to go somewhere and the answer is "Why?" that's some bullshit
I disagree
It's worth knowing why do you can understand the feelings and reasons behind it so you can keep it in mind for future date ideas
So lying about why is doing nobody any favors
For what it's worth OP, I have an autistic brother too and I would fully understand not wanting to be near him being a messy gross shit in public
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>>18656503
>But it should be okay to express a preference to a romantic partner without having to justify or argue it.
And it should be okay to want to know why they don't like it because it helps to decide an idea that they would be good with
For example,
>Why?
>The place is noisy and every time I've been there guests have been assholes making a mess and not even being sorry about it
>Okay, let's go to _______ instead, it's really quiet there
Compare to
>Why?
>I just don't feel like it
>Hmm, let's go to ______ (place that is also very noisy and busy and probably won't be liked by the date but neither know about it because the reason is not explored)
Gives no information on any preferable alternative.
Asking why isn't necessarily accusatory or judgmental you know, it's just simple communication
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Just tell him. I wouldn't say the retards are too loud and messy though. I would just use the excuse of how it's too loud and you'd like a quieter place so you can actually talk and hear each other.
His "why" wasn't him being mean, I honestly think he just wants to know so he can make a better restaurant choice next time. Don't sweat it anon.
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OP here. I told him it was too loud and busy, and that I haven't enjoyed being there before. We are going to a different place. Thank you everyone
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>>18656498
Kek.
The guy you like is one of the autists... he's gonna screech for sex.
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