DEPRESSED? LOST? NOTHING TO LOSE?

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>>18655545
Im a NEET who dropped out of college to basically persue nothing. My parents have given up on me and my younger brother is sick so they are concerned with medical bills rather than where my future is headed. I know I should be a man by now (21) but shit I was the fist born idiot lol

I don't really know what to do. If I go back to college it would be way too big of a burden plus its not like Im getting a 4.0 since I dropped before and left a bad record even if I do try.

Dying would make things wore too
>tfw no way to run now

>>18655545
I have:
>High paying job that I like
>Work out, am fit
>Decent social circle
>Plenty of matches on Tinder

Yet my life feels empty, what do?

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I want to get a cute asian gf. I've never gotten a girlfriend before but I would like to have one. I refuse to settle as that feels like it defeats what I feel what I want from a gf. I realise I have set the bar retardedly bullshittingly R I G G E D-tier high, but I don't know how to deal with that. I feel more and more depressed getting rejected multiple times after coming back to college. can you help me in my pursuit of a cute asian girlfriend or to cope with the fact that it's going to be a fucking terrible long road to something maybe happening some year in the future?