Sexual compatibility

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I feel kinda bad saying this but I'm worried about being stuck with a boring sex life. I am not going to break up with him over something like this, we've been together two years and he helped me have sex which was difficult because I have vaginismus.

He's so vanilla though it kind of dulled my excitement. I guess I kind of sensed this because he wasn't always open to things I wanted to try, or he'd feel awkward, or he would do things to please me but he wouldn't get into it himself. Is there any chance this situation can be saved and he can still open up even though he's supposed to have already explored himself by now?

>>18654520
>>18654521

If this bothers you now, it's going to magnify if you don't talk to him and hammer things out.

Despite what vanilla faggots will tell you, sexual incompatibility is a legitimate reason to end a relationship. You'll always be dissatisfied and your eyes and mind may start to wander.

Whether he should be more open-minded or not is irrelevant to his experience. There's no logic behind that. People like what they like and don't like what they don't.

Let him know that it's important to you that he be a bit more open and adventurous in bed. The relationship won't be a long-term one if he can't change that.

Just try to introduce him to it slowly. If he is truly infatuated with you, he will slowly go to your likings.

Be advised however, that more extreme things such as masochism/sadism or non-monogamy especially, can either take extremely long or never even aspire because they go past a sexual level, and into other things such as personal health and loyalty.

Last thing you should do is FORCE him, or cheat on him. Not saying you will, but cheaters are utter scum, and you'd be better off just leaving him.

>>18654573
I would never cheat or force him to do something he doesn't want. Tips on how to comfortably open him up at his pace would help though. Especially from people who have been in the same situation as me.

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>tfw no qt bdsm gf
What the fuck, do I just live in a boring state now?

>>18654551
>If this bothers you now, it's going to magnify
Thats why I thought it would be a good idea to ask the internet. I am not going to end this relationship over sexual incompatibility because we still have deep love. But sex is still important to me...

>>18654619
Fetlife.

>>18654520
I disagree with >>18654551

You should decide how much you value sexual experimentation in a relationship and whether it's worth ending it over or not.
I'm sure if you introduce things bit by bit you'll both be happy. And maybe there are some things he won't ever do and you'll just have to deal with that

As for tips on how to introduce things? No doubt there would be heaps of advice online about that.
Guys are usually more receptive to it though and who knows, he might run with it more than you think

But I seriously can't stress enough- take time to consider what you really value and don't break up because you're sexually frustrated

>>18654582
Start out with minor things. It says you like to be dominant right? Be on top one night. If he's super confident and a bit wild, maybe even be a bit combative over it. He DOES like Switch after all.

As time goes on, SLOWLY introduce him to your side. Don't go way overboard and ask him to have at you while you are tied up or something. Start with words and teases, and if he likes them, go from there.

On the flip side, do not make your sexual fantasies the only thing. Entertain him as well. Do what he wants some nights and what you want other nights, or maybe a bit of both. "Test the waters" as some would say.

>>18654744
I definitely think he'd be into that sexual combatant thing. I think he likes the idea of him starting out on top but having me fuck him into submission.

The difficult part is getting him into weirder stuff especially anything with a stigma. Like I'm really into the idea of calling him "daddy", treating me like a sex pet, or even switching and me being the "mommy" while he sucks my tits or something. But I can see his face curling in disgust by merely mentioning it. Makes me sad but I want to find a solution.

>>18654800
Again, step by step. Start out with things that would hint, but not being related to more extreme things. Instead of calling him daddy, put emphasis on how he owns you and what not as the dominant. After a few times, maybe just slip in the word "Daddy" faintly, and take note of how he acts. If he seems put off, take a step back and go back to smaller things and try again later. If he doesn't seem phased or seems into it, then don't go overboard right there, just continue on and get more and more into it.

As for the mommy thing, just put emphasis on tits. Have your tits in his face more often.

All in all, it's just a game of small steps and cautious advances. Think of things that can LEAD UP to your things, and go slowly from there, and back if need be.

>>18654856
I see what you mean. Try to overlap the vanilla stuff and aspects of the stigma stuff before going full blown freaktard.

>>18654916
Correct. Just become slightly more deviant, but be sure to take it slow and patiently. The worst thing you can do is give him something that he takes well and then immediately jump the gun and having him tie you up and shit.