How the fuck do I get myself to fall asleep

>don't lie in your bed for any reason but sleep/masturbation/sex
>do not use screens for preferably an hour, at least half an hour before going to bed
>when you can't sleep, get up after at most fifteen minutes, do something quiet (like reading) then head back to bed, don't lie there while becoming more awake again

Also look up "sleep hygiene" for related tips. If you are legitimately an insomniac, visit a doctor for some pills and keep your sleep hygiene in check.

You don't, your body tells you when it wants to sleep.

If you want to set up a routine though, you need to get into a habit of getting up at the same time and going to bed at the same time every day.

wait til you're tired, make a note of the time in your head, then go to sleep without setting an alarm clock. Then when you wake up, take note of how much sleep you needed to wake up naturally -- this is how much sleep you naturally need.

If it's 8 hours, and you want to be up at 7:30am each morning, you need to be in bed by 11:30pm everyday. Force yourself up at 7:30am the next day if need be until your body establishes a pattern.