How to make sure I can get hard enough to have sex

>>18652783
I'm still trying to figure out how to fix this problem myself

its been 3 times now out of the 3 times I needed it the most

>>18652783
Same here. Seems like you need to be rock hard to penetrate and I just don't really get that hard.

The man should always initiate sex.

If you happen to be horny and hard as you are with her, then kiss her and undress her.

I never touch a girl unless my body and mind is ready to.

Also, don't drink mate.

>>18652783
Stop thinking about your dick. Focus on the girl. Focus on all the things about her that turn you on instead of worrying about how turned on you are. Play up the foreplay till she's squirming and wet and wants it's so bad your dick can't help but be rock hard in response. Just stop worrying about having sex AND FUCK THE GIRL ALREADY!!!!

Self-consciousness is the greatest boner killer.

P.S., if you're physically incapable of an erection, even alone and looking at your favorite porn, then there's something worse wrong with you and you need to go to the doctor.

>>18652869
>Self-consciousness is the greatest boner killer.
It appears my impotence was written in the stars.

>>18652876
You already know she wants your cock dude, what is there even left to be self-conscious about?

>>18652872
>even alone and looking at your favorite porn
Erection or raging erection? I'm >>18652844 btw

Stop jerking off 24/7 and stop giving yourself whiskey dick.

>>18652897
If you can't become fully hard with total stimulus, something is wrong with your dick. Half chub with your favorite porn while you're ridiculously turned on is not acceptable. But, if you feel like you are not fully hard AND not totally turned on, it might be a mental problem other than a physical one.

Still might see a doctor, mushy dick can mean you have blood pressure problems or other vascular issues which can make sex unsafe.

>>18652953
Ok, will do. Usually I'm not ridiculously turned on due to me being pretty desensitized, but still.

Life is shit

Just make it more organic. Don't give yourself time to get soft. Lay side by side, have her stroke you while you kiss and play with her, and then transition into missionary when you're hard, and just keep doing that. Have her continue you stroke you with her hand down at her pelvis, and when you're both quite ready to do it, just move down a little, and put it in.

It doesn't have to be some porno performance. It's your first time, man.

>>18652783
Its normal, I also wans't hard at all the forst time.

Just do it in the dark, hide your dick, make it barely hard enough to start to penetrate.

When you get in it gets super hard immidiately !

The next hard step is to cum, if your like me you'll need two more tries maybe

>>18652783
First time failures are common.

Its rarely good the first time. Inb4 faggots sayin "well MY first time.." youre either lying, or if you arent, your first experience isnt representative of whats common.


Im pretty good at sex. My first time:

>lasted 20 minutes. Because anxiety, couldnt come. (the first time i was comfortable it was 5 seconds.)

>awkward missionary, mutual nervousness because both our first time.

>shit rhythm.

>we ate ice cream bars after that. My gf at the time looked at me and said "this is better than what ever the fuck we just did..."

You won't fail next time

Stop watching porn and stop masturbating. Start eating better and working out.
All of the above will contribute to better sexual performance.
Some people don't need all of that and are just fine jacking off a hundred times a day to depraved shit while eating trash and not working out. Others need all of that just to make sure they can get hard.

take stimulants until you feel confident without them. It's the most realistic and working way.
The posts saying "muh /fit/ muh no jerk off" is just meditating Hindu garbage

I know the feel, OP. My first time the girl called me over at 4am after I had been drinking a bit and she wanted to fuck straight away. I barely knew her so I wasn't too comfortable, and while she's cute she's also very awkward and visibly nervous so I couldn't even get it up properly.

I think she got the impression it was her fault I couldn't get turned on and I tried to convince her it was a me problem but... Idk. Guess it was both of our faults.

Honestly it kind of sapped my sex drive, haven't even chased a girl since and this was back in November. Fuck.

>>18652783
I have the same problem bro. With my ex-gf I almost never had a problem getting a strong erection. Been dating a new girl lately and I can't get as hard anymore and when we change position or if she stops touching my dick, my penis goes right back to a soft state. I never have any sex drive which is probably my problem. Afer I broke up with my gf I just tried to jerk off as quick as possible so I could get back to my vidya again, I didn't even fap because I was super horny just because I felt like it was time again to empty my nuts.
Hope I didn't fuck myself up permanently because of this.

>>18652783
This happened to me my first few times

Just not jerking off or looking at porn for a week will probably do the trick, also since it's the second time you'll probably feel a bit more relaxed. If you don't get hard at first, don't worry about it. Relax in bed for a while, maybe eat something (food relaxes you and can stimulate serotonin production), kiss and fool around a bit and you'll likely be good to go after a while

And if it turns out that you have REALLY bad stage fright, you can simply go to a doctor and get viagra/cialis (or buy it online off an Indian pharmacy... or so I've heard) at which point the only way you won't get an erection is if your dick falls off or you're actually gay

99% chance that not jerking off or looking at porn will do it... Even if it doesn't, you'll get there eventually

>>18654030
Just do a no porn reboot(Google it) and you'll probably be fine

>>18652783
it was the drink and the nerves

planning it is a huge turn off for both, it needs to be natural and in a moment of passion

basically: dont get a boner to have sex, have sex because you have a boner

>>18654512

>planning it is a huge turn off for both

This is absolutely false and completely subjective.

For some, planning it puts your mind in a completely different state and allows the anticipation and tension grow as the promised time draws near. To the point where you wish time would just hurry the fuck up so you can get in there and smash as hard as possible.

>>18654564
oh thats a good point actually anon

for a first time though, im not sure?

I have been sexually active for almost 10 years and have had sex with 4 different partners around 1000 times in total in that time and I only stopped worrying about it maybe 3 years ago. Irrationally so, as I very rarely actually couldn't have sex. Self consciousness is a huge problem and at least for me it only went away when I talked about it with my partner openly. Most women are incredibly understanding of this as women are usually the ones who would like to be more sexually active so they know the pressure of having to perform.

Also if you use a condom jerk off with a condom once or twice before to get routine and have the condoms in reach of your bed so you don't need to worry about losing your erection while getting them. But it will have been the alcohol.