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Hey /adv/, 27 year old male anon here that's been in a committed relationship for six years and has lived with said partner for the better part of four years.
Recently I can't stop thinking about cheating on her. We're sexually active and I'm attracted to her, I could genuinely see myself spending the rest of my life with her, and I feel like I genuinely love her; However, I can't shake this compulsion to want to stick my dick in other people. Is that just an issue with monogamy? I haven't cheated on her, but I compulsively browse Craigslist personals, backpage etc. I've never actually attempted to contact someone and don't know if I have the gall to do it, but in recognizing that I want to is it an issue with my relationship or with myself?
More so in terms of cheating, I have a friend that would hook up with me if I asked but is there a distinction between how egregious cheating would be with someone she knew versus a sex worker or a random.
I realize this rather long winded but I guess my questions are two fold:
1. How do you handle thoughts of cheating? Do you act on them, repress them, does it indicate a problem to you in some way? Do you voice your concerns?
2. If I were to, or were to act on should I be honest with her regarding my desires? Should I have a life altering break up because I'm promiscuous? Adversely, should I cheat on her is it better to do randomly or with someone I know.
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Looking at those personals and backpages is your way of indulging with the fantasy of dicking someone else. I personally don't see anything wrong with this.. it's akin to watching porn to get yourself off.
I get urges like that too, and it comes down to me just being horny. I have no intention of leaving or fucking things up with my girl, but the thought of fucking other women crosses my mind a lot. But I get over it. I even remind myself why I shouldn't fuck up a good thing and move on.
But be careful though. The more you 'indulge' into this fantasy, the more likely you might be to act on it if the opportunity ever arises.
And finally, don't cheat on her. If you really want to fuck other people then do the right thing and break up with her.
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I usually have thoughts of cheating when I'm withdrawing from the relationship, but that's just me.
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>>18651345
Thanks for your input, I think you put it quite aptly that browsing is my way indulging in the fantasy of cheating, it definitely orients me in that direction. You're also right, if I am going to cheat I should just break up with her, thanks.
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>>18651334
If you'll hook up with your friend she'll talk about it. And she probably knows people who know some people who know your gf. If you'll fuck a hooker take an expensive one who has some good reviews, if you just go to a cheap brothel you'll just be even more disgusted with yourself afterwards. Fuck a good hooker and the thoughta about cheating disappear for some time
I've had a gf I really loved and fucked some hookers on the side, had the same compulsive thoughts as you and did the same looking at prostitutes on the interenet thing, she never found out. She was a prude, I felt little shame in it but even then, this girl didn't deserve it. Also, you won't be clear with yourself about it for a long ass time.
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