Desperate for help.

I'm coming out of the same thing OP. I'm old, and the past three decades of my life have been shit. You gotta work on yourself, you gotta exercise and take care of yourself man. Find something to do that addresses how you feel directly. Maybe that's painting, or making time to be outside, or volunteering or something. Whatever it is, you need to start taking control of your life, one aspect at a time. I can promise if you do that, it will get better. Not right away, but it will happen.

I'm in the same boat. Ready to off myself tonight.

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>>18651319
I grew up playing video games and spending time with friends, going outside, going to local shows, now I can't do anything, nothing is truly enjoyable to me. So I decided to put all my interest into love, being in love made the sun shine in my life like I was a kid again, food tasted good again, tv movies and video games inspired me again, music actually sounded pleasant again. But then you forget that people aren't to be trusted. Nothing can fill this void in me, I'm back to my old self just sitting and staring at the ceiling. No calls or texts in my phone, just notification from spam emails and youtube uploads. Life is bleak and dark OP. You can try and fill your void like I did but failing feels worse than never trying at all. Maybe we were just meant to go with the motions until our inevitable demise. People like us weren't meant for this life, we don't belong. Society accepts us because we are able to work and contribute but that's the most value we'll ever have in the grand scheme. I know this doesn't help, but you aren't alone.