Hreatbreak

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I dated my ex for almost 7 years, we started when we were both 18. This is our 4th time breaking up, the first two times I don't recall, the third was because I was 23 and wanted to see what other women were out there, but I came back to her.

This last time, I really fucked up. I got into a bit of a rut and lost confidence in myself. I projected my insecurities onto her, all the while she stood by me. Eventually though, a woman could only take so much and she broke up with me on bad terms. During this time, I avoided her but I'd see her at the gym, or reading a book outside the gym (it's at an outdoor mall area). This went on for about 2 months before I realized my fuck up.

I texted her apologizing, sent her flowers and a letter. Told her I wanted her back. She told me to move on, to work on myself, and that she can't tell the future. She said she needed time to be single and that I needed it too.

A few weeks had gone by and I was making a huge effort to improve myself, for myself. I came up with a plan to get her back. A really heartfelt, but clear letter. I was set to give it to her this Tuesday.

On the Saturday before the Tuesday of my plan, I ran into her at the store. We exchanged some small talk, and then I lost it. Told her I missed her. She awkwardly smiled and told me she doesnt know what to say that. I said "nothing to say" and said bye and left. I got home and proceeded to text her. I figured I might as well expedite my plan since I ran into her today. I thought I was being a man by committing to my plan but she saw it as a dick waving contest, me just trying to do this for my own pride. She told me to fuck off, leave her alone because she's never coming back, and to move on.

The next day, I went to the gym with a buddy and saw her on a date with some dude from Tinder. I know she had been on tinder for like 2 weeks or so, so I reckon this dude is pretty new.

The break up was in May, just to give a time frame.

Anyways, I'm pretty beat up... 1/2