GIOYC - Get It Off Your Chest

>>18648104
had a dream about fucking my 12 year old sister
ive never thought this way of her before, i blame 4chan

I made the mistake of talking to you after you ignored me saying you blocked me. I'm done jumping through hoops. I'm done apologizing when it was all your fault to begin with. You're just a whore who has been handed everything her whole life and expect others to bow down to your wishes. I wish I hadn't talked to you again. I wish I hadn't seen you again. I'm done with you now. I know that for sure.

Hey M
Stop hiding out in your dorm or whatever and come out more often. I've been dying to ask you out but I never fucking see you. I'm in the library all the time. Come out and say hi.
Thanks, D

I want to die.

I'm not helping you. You aren't even there. I cut ties with you. And you said you'd understand.

File: hank.png (18KB, 1093x1072px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 1093x1072px

Senior year of college
Can't keep any friends
Crippling anxiety and compulsion
Gets worse and worse every day
Feels like someone is pressing on my lungs
I'm so lonesome

my parents dropped me off at college today. all the rest of the students and my roommate come the 24th. as of right now i'm painfully lonely and depressed.

i just want to go to one of those cliche parties and have fun or something. i have no friends which makes that difficult

i don't want my depression to come back full fledged because it would ruin me not only socially but academically

i also just want some whiskey

Shut all the way the fuck up if you can't offer a solution to their problems. I can't stand the way you sit back and criticize the way people are doing things because you're not going through it at the moment. You don't offer advice or assistance, you just criticize and think that you did your almighty job of "telling the truth". No, you're just self-righteous cunt who couldn't do anything right in her own life so you want to highlight the failures of others. I respect them more because they are at least TRYING. All you've ever done was whine about being a victim and then get a man to fix it for you. They're better than you for being much worse off and never putting on pity parties for themselves. Go gut yourself, you cunt.

File: they're never coming back.png (777KB, 683x731px) Image search: [Google]

777KB, 683x731px

>mfw have been looking all over campus for someone who clearly isn't looking for me

>Horny af
>desperate for human touch bc the vibrator ain't doing it anymore
>Too awkward to solicit randos for sex even though I know it's as easy as asking for it online.

Can't get over the fear of catching mecha AIDS from some dude who's name I barely know no matter what protection I use.

I dont even know if I really like him. Maybe I just do it because I love when he flirts with me. Maybe, I'm just lonely.

You completely blocked him out today, verbally and physically, and chose to engage me instead. I don't think you were trying to make him jealous, because you were focused on keeping conversation going instead of watching his reaction. I even caught you watching me throughout the day, when it wouldn't have mattered anyways. And I know you were looking at me this time.

What are your intentions? I don't know if you're just using me to make him jealous, or if you're genuinely interested in me. I'm not sure I really care. I just like talking to you. The idea that someone is willing to drop who they are with to be with me, while tantalizing, is too much fantasy for even me to rationalize. I don't know what you see in him; I've got even less idea what you could possibly see in me.

Where are you? Do you still shine bright?

I have crippling neuroticism. Something bad will happen to me and my mind will spin out of control, pummeling myself all the while. For example, I've failed a very important test and I can't check the score because I've lost the code required to check the score (dipshit logic, yeah?). The credit didn't transfer to my college so that's how I could tell I failed. I start beating myself over the head for being stupid to not check my score earlier before losing the damn code, being an idiot in general for failing the test, being worthless and incapable of doing anything right, etc. Mundane shit will trigger horrible bouts of anxiety, anger and sadness.

I miss you but I'm glad things have worked out so that I'll probably never see you again. Now I can truly move on, like you did months ago. Truthfully I wish we had never crossed that line. I wish I had the strength to say no when you climbed on top of me. You didn't force me, I acquiesced because I wanted so bad to know what it would be like to be in that pussy. I got attached, we spent more and more time together and the attachment grew. It didn't last though. You went about your way, your curiosity sated and determined that I wasn't your "One." But I stayed in that place. I'm still holding that bag. I regret it. I hate that I think about you every day. The anger that I feel when I see you masks the hurt and helplessness I feel. I wish I could tell you that I hold no ill will toward you. I wish we could've just been friends, but there is no way at least not now. Maybe when I've fallen for another we'll be able to sit down and have a civil conversation. Nah, I don't even want to take a chance on rekindling those feelings. The devil knows just how to mess up a good thing by drudging up the past at the worst time. I have feelings for you but you are the enemy of my wellbeing, and I am the enemy of yours. We must remain separated. I wish you well and I hope I never see your face again.

I'm not confident enough to talk to or meet new women and I've been stuck on the same one for three years now. I've dated her and it failed but I won't move on. Neurotic and sad, I've probably developed an addiction to porn/masturbation trying to cope with the loneliness I feel to the point of it eating up most of my day. The worst part is that I'm fully self aware of how wrong what I'm doing is but I just can't stop myself.

>Get snap from a guy offering to trade sexual favors
>weird about sending me a pic of him before hand
>Decide to facebook the name attached to the snapchat account
>Has a girlfriend
>kek.

>>18648767
How stupid of him

I'm 22 yo doing pretty good social wise, live in a third world country, have cute girlfriend, engineering degree, i want to be successful in life (real estate investor kinda success), i dont have a job yet , i just graduated im scared to death desu this affected my social life, also i dont want to live in this country because its a muslim country and i can't stand living in opression !

I'm stumped, advice. Recently moved in with my mate and his girlfriend.

His girlfriend's kids reminded me how much I cannot stand toddlers as she has one. He doesn't seem to mind, but I sure as hell hate them.

However, her sister, is a beauty. And on that note, she supposedly likes me. Unfortunately, she has two toddlers. Pretty sure she just wants someone to watch her kids as well as they're constantly over, being watched by my mates girlfriend.

She's very pretty though. However, stupid quiet and seemingly shy. Use to try and flirt with her about 6 years ago in HS, but she'd smile, blush, and remain quiet.

Odd for a pretty girl as usually they know they're pretty and it's okay for them to be loud. Personally find loud girls more attractive as well, but she seems nice.

Why are you marrying...

>>18648831
Do the kids have the same baby daddy kek.

I would not put your dick in a girl stupid enough to get knocked up and certainly not a girl stupid enough to keep the pregnancy after getting knocked up

I want the old you back and for things to be normal again. Things need to get straightened out as soon as possible. Everything keeps repeating the same idiotic cycle over and over... something needs to change.

I'm scared of being myself, of fear and rejection. I want to be loved and accepted.
but by whom?
Myself?
No I hate myself.;I'm not good enough.
For who?
Me
why?
Because I always mess up.
Am I too critical of myself?
Yeah

I have sex with my brother, and have since we were in highschool. He was really down about not being able to get a girlfriend, and was venting to me about it. After some convincing he agreed to let me blow him. That lit a fire in him, and we've had sex many many times since then.

>>18648836
Yeah, they're both one dude's kids. He's a dud nowadays. Use to be an ambitious spaz. Really mellowed out.

I'll probably ignore her presence when she's around.
>Still tempted
>Absolutely hate kids
>It'd be okay if they were older, I think

I have feelings for someone who doesn't like me back. I've had them for a long time and they know it.
Every time I try to move on, because I'm not very sociable, I try to distance myself from them and I don't talk to them very much for a while even though we interact pretty much daily. They don't like how I distance myself and get pissed at me that I stop talking to them or "being myself" around them.

I don't really know what to do. I wish I had someone. There's really no leaving the situation or escaping either. I'm stuck with them until they decide to leave... or I leave. Sad things is, they can move on with their life easily if we don't talk.

>>18648886

Your mind is fast

some guy in the military at a bar accused my father of stolen valor when he did in fact serve. should i make a complaint about this false accusation? it really upset him to be called a fraud when he did serve the country

>>18648958
>lit a fire in him

What about you?

>>18648983
are ya'll friends?

>>18648999
I had never really had access to sex whenever I wanted before. I took it a little slow at first because I wasn't on the pill yet, but as soon as I was on it and I realized I could have sex whenever I wanted with no prep or precaution needed, I was crazy for it.

>>18648958
is it not weird for you?

I love you. I wish I was comfy with you and we were together watching that show.

>>18649056
The first time it was pure hormones, but after the first time the awkwardness only lasted until he got horny again. Then he was ready for me to blow him again. I was a little ashamed after the very first time because I knew it was wrong, but when he came back to me for more I figured fuck it we're having a good time.

File: IMG_5057.jpg (550KB, 2576x1932px) Image search: [Google]

550KB, 2576x1932px

I want my dick sucked fuck

>>18649104
so now there is no awkwardness around it at all? how did it escalate to actual penetrative sex?

File: 1498290121777.jpg (44KB, 540x540px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 540x540px

I just really really want to try shrooms or LSD, but I got no connections, and don't feel safe buying them online.

My husband got on antidepressants today. Feel really sad about it. I try my very best but I wish I was a better wife and knew what to do to help him. Anybody with advice on how to help a partner with depression?

>>18649223
just be there for him and listen, thats all you can do

I am the victim of myself. Too busy feeling sorry for myself to bear witness to all the crimes I'm committing against those around me.

When we went out that evening, that's what you had meant when you had apologized to me. You wanted me to apologize. I'm sorry, I didn't realize then.

On one hand, I don't want to. It isn't because I don't mean to, but because I don't want you to see me like this. I'm just a shell. I have been since back then. If you ask me to recount the years, I could not tell you what I've done. I've nothing more to show for myself than the last time we've spoke. While you've both been making steps towards your goals, regardless of the results, I've been living a lie in my own mind.

On the other hand, I know that I owe you both an apology. I know it much deeper than I'd thought.

In all of this, I am the monster. I am the one who destroyed everything. Understanding that all things must come to their inevitable close, I acknowledge that it never had to be like this. I've broken my promises, my bonds, and the trust you've placed in me. I hold no expectation or desire for forgiveness. Whether you hate me, or simply don't care, it doesn't matter. As long as you know, it's fine. I am really sorry for the way I handled things.

If you care to know, we're still together. That said, you were both quite correct, it certainly hasn't been an easy journey. I'd been abused in pretty much every sense, lied to, cheated on... Sat through schizophrenic episodes, suicidal episodes, manic episodes... I guess it's only now, after the car crash, that she realizes that she needs me. It's been nearly 10 years already. She still gets excited about all these little anniversaries. I do my best to make her happy, but you know, all they remind me of is how long it's been since I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. I'm just broken. Resigned to my fate. I just don't care anymore.

>>18648104
Dear poor people and homeless people.
There are tons of perfectly good tasty red meat patties being thrown away everyday at McDonald's because of petty reasons like they were cooked 10 seconds too long or got torn on accident.
I dare you to go there and ask a manager or someone if you can have left over burger patties they were going to throw away, and just wait around for it.

I have 3 women in my life I'm romantically interested in and I can't narrow it down so I'm toying/having sex with all 3 until it explodes and I can get over them all and move on to a singular girl

I've developed feelings for a coworker. Both of us are in long term relationships. Coworker doesn't know this and I won't be telling them.

It's beginning to make me unhappy.

>>18649229
As to the why...
There were a lot of things I had never had before I met you. Friends... I suppose the closest thing would be the cousin who was forced to deal with my existence, or maybe the uncle who felt that he was obligated to entertain me. What I had were people who wanted to fight me, people who wanted to make fun of me, the people who wanted to take advantage of my strength to deal with other people, and the people that were afraid of me.

I associated a lot of these things with school. I was always forced to spend time around them. That's why I was always late, and why I skipped so many days. I just didn't like people. You were one of the few people to first talk to me without expecting something of me. With that, there were never girls that I really liked. Why? All people ever did was call me disgusting. It just hurts more if you develop any attachment for them. At the same time, how does one deny their very nature? So when the opportunity presented itself, and somebody finally treated me with what I wanted to believe was genuine kindness and interest. I knew it was a bad idea. I fooled myself into thinking that I'd be able to make things work somehow. I guess I never fully understood how much it bothered you. When I finally realized my mistake, I think it was too late. I tried to break up with her, and all hell kind of broke loose. Started pulling my hair, hitting me, and then threatened to go drive her car off a bridge. Maybe that shouldn't have affected me as much as it did, but given what happened to my father, I didn't want to take any chances knowing that she was unstable. I don't even know how things have held together. As I've said, I've just been living a lie in my head for a while now, thinking everything is okay. It's probably not.

I keep thinking about you. I keep hoping you keep thinking about me too. I think you are the one I want, but I also know that you are the one I can't have. It's sad - you are a very special person and men like you are extremely rare and extremely valuable. And I'm just trying not to fall to hard for you because that would hinder our friendship and I don't want that.

>>18649333
wow you are literally me
>tfw

My ego is so distorted, shot to shit and frail I can barely get up in the morning.
I'm so insecure it's hell.
My life is a mess.
I hate being a failure of a man with no dignity.
I'm so thirsty for good pussy it's driving me insane but being horny is better then feeling nothing I guess.

I think I'm schitzo so I'm afraid to do anything.

idk where to get help. I don't want my life to end like this.

File: YES.jpg (121KB, 650x650px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 650x650px

I did it, you wonderful bastards. I did it. I'm finally free, and I'm finally happy. Maybe it will be short-lived, but now I am happy. I'm rebuilding my friendship with a wonderful person, and who knows? Maybe one day she and I WILL get together, but it doesn't matter. That all depends on how our feelings change. All I know now is that I am happy because I am free, and I am free because I have my own life, and I am not focusing on another's. I will make my own destiny, and love will come second. I have faith in the universe and its workings; I have faith in myself above all. I did it. I love you guys, even though you just gave me cynical advice. I love you. I am free.

>>18649452

well done, anon, proud of you!

>>18648104
It annoys me that she still has pictures of us up on her social media. She blocked me and said she never wanted to see me again and that she could never be happy with me.

She found a new guy and she said shes finally happy.

But those damn pictures are still up. I know its none of my business. But it just bothers me that our pictures are still on there.
Like dude go replace them with pics of your new guy. I want to forget we were ever a thing.

You're still on my mind, I miss you.

File: 1336233083802.jpg (41KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 500x500px

>i am insecure
>i need you to help me feel masculine again
>be quiet so i can look like the boss in our relationship
>actually just dumb yourself down and disregard logic so I seem more intelligent than you because that's manly
>you just need to let me embarrass you in front of my friends so i can feel good about myself again
>soooo i've been considering rape...
>why aren't you happy submitting yourself to my abuse so i can feel like a man again?

Sweetheart. You're dating a woman with a penis.

>>18649507
damn what happened anon?

>>18649078
it can't happen soon enough

>>18649506
i bet they miss you too anon

File: 1499992522073.jpg (91KB, 954x1024px) Image search: [Google]

91KB, 954x1024px

>meet person
>they seem like me, hurt and looking for company
>simply enjoy spending time together
>start to know them better
>enjoy them as people
Normally I just tolerate others, I don't actually mind this person. I almost enjoy having them around. I actually might.
>over month passes friend calls me best thing to happen to them in a long time

Don't. If you don't mean it, don't say shit like that.
Because I already think the same about you. And if you don't mean it, please don't hurt me like that. Please. I been down this road before. And like I said, I can tell you been scarred by someone else as well. We both are scratched and worn. The last thing I want is for us to feel this way towards each other and only end up hurting worse.
I'm scared, and you have already started calling me yours. If I am to be yours, tell me so and I will be loyal and faithful. Otherwise don't, I'm not your toy. I want to be yours, but not to play with, to love. I want to be loved and I love you.

>>18649513
My roommate is dating a guy who wants to feel like a chad but can't for whatever reason so he's dating her to make her his physical-emotional cumdump. She tells me about the dumb rules he sets for her and he occasionally tells me how he has twisted fantasies to prove he's boss over her. She's in denial and wants to fix him. I think she ought to leave before he makes up some reason to beat her.

>>18648104
There's nothing to get regretted on. You didn't think of her. You just utter some random inda name. That's all. Get over it.Be the man you wanna me.

No you don't get to do that. Fuck you.
You don't treat a person like shit for 7 months just cause you feel like it. I fucked with your clsses? Maybe, and I tried to help you pay of the debt.
I don't have much more say. But, if I can tell you something. Don't keep stabbing a person with the same guilt, over and over and deny them a chance to fix it, or at least help. I'm sorry, but I tried.
I can't do this shit again.

>>18648855
Something probably is hurting them badly, reach out and offer assistance.

How does one keep finding the strength to reconstruct themselves?

All I ever wanted was to build in one place. It's never to to be my reality.

I'm tired. I want to go home. There is no home.

I'm no good by myself anymore. I'm toxic to myself left alone.

I haven't liked being alive for the last half year. I don't want to be here anymore. I always construct a new me, but then I find my self back here. Sometimes it takes years. Back to my core self. My worst and most useless self. I'll build it again, and I'll end up back here. I do every time.

I will always be the extra pair of hands in the room. I always was. My shame is inescapable.

Why do I still talk to you, and why do you want me around? I love you and I want to be with you, but you hurt me and erected a massive wall between us. You want to talk to me, but you never initiate and keep everything at a distance with idle one word responses. So naturally I go away as it is clear you don't want me around, and then you try to drag me back in.

Either come back as we were before or stop pretending to care. You hurt me, left me, and act like we can still be close. You broke it off, remember? You also know I don't want to just be your friend either after how long we were together. I may have known you longer than anyone else in your life but you need to either pick me or let me go. If I really was the person who understood you best, and your best friend then make the call and I will make it worth your while. But don't be a fake ass person who just wants a clear conscientious, I don't want false considerations, false hope, or pity. Make up your mind on what you want. You cannot have me as a backup, it has been almost a decade and I don't deserve nor will I stand for that.

I feel like such a huge faggot.
Family life is good. Relations with my friends are great.Got my plans for school figured out.
Yet for some reason I feel like I'm drowning again. What the hell is wrong with me?

Merchant was right, I was right...
I don't want to be


You had feelings for someone and I interrupted it

im sorry


maybe your paths will cross again and you should take that chance and that person how you feel.

contact them and tell them how you feel.

i won't be in the way any longer.

We dated for ~one~ month. It's been half a goddamn year since then. Why do I think about you? Why do I watch your streams? Why do I care so fucking much when you obviously did so fucking little. Even knowing your flaws outweigh the good something about you mesmerized me. It's probably the romanticist in me but shits annoying. I can't wait until my stomach doesn't clench when I hear your name or see your face or read dumb fucking threads like this hoping I'll see what sounds like your perspective and find out I mattered to you after all.

I'm breaking up with you.
You've always held me back and tried to use me to fill the hole where your dreams are. I'm sorry I'm never strong enough but this is my strength, I need to save it and stop wasting it on you

>>18649557
Please try and convince her to leave before shit gets bad and before she gets hurt.

>>18649738
If it's not mutual, then it's the stalkericist in you, and you should probably stop.

>>18649747
I should, absolutely. But watching videos someone makes is a pretty loose form of being a stalker.

A,
I don't know about love but I adore you. I'm sorry for any time I was a bitch to you. It wasn't anger, it was frustration and jealousy. You didn't deserve it and I'm the idiot who needs to learn to control their emotions.
I understand that you'll never feel the same way about me but I still love being your friend and I love being around you. I think you're a wonderful person. You have no idea how much you've helped me over the years. You have always been there for me and never let me down.
You are so special to me. Just talking to you and hugging you is enough to make me adore you even more. I'll never tell you any of this, though.
H.

>>18649762
In an age where people consensually record themselves sleeping, shitting, and eating in real time, I suppose.

You know why you're doing it though.

>>18649770
Yeah, I do. I'm a pathetic depressed piece of shit latching onto the last real thing that made me feel happy. Seeing him made me feel happy. But writing this was cathartic and feeling like a creepy weirdo outweighs missing someone, so thanks I guess.

>>18649774
We all do weird shit when we're in love, don't be too hard on yourself. It is important that you stop watching him as much, though. You have to allow yourself to move on. There are a lot of great people out there you've yet to meet. If you spend too much time focusing on what's straight in front of you, you'll miss out on everything else.

i'm 100% positive at this point that this girl has no interest in me other than to gain lp

not entirely surprised but fuck it still hurts

don't fall for the e-girl meme lads

Hey XYZ
Fuck off with your fake depression dogshit act. You are not depressed u fucking fuck. Telling everyone you want to kys and how depressed you are is fucking cringy. If u want to kys pls really do it.

I have most awesome job and I work with my very best friend which was my proof there are good people in this world (I'm a gril btw) She is very sane and helped me in many ways. I haven't met anyone like her in years. She also has a boyfriend, and I like him too, he's good guy for her and he likes me. Three of us often spend time together, which is maybe kinda weird, but I was happy about it, since I'm otherwise alone. She is also friends with our boss. And I thought they have the same relationship I have with her. BUt lol nope. They sleep together. And they are in love and they don't want to tell their partners. She told me yesterday.

And I'm very triggered, not sure why. I think I'm grossed out by betrayals in general, but she, of all people, I think I really needed her to be an example for me. And I care more about her than about her boyfriend, but I was in his place several years ago (I also got betrayed and I'm still sore) and he was very good for her, even at times where many could have left. And our boss... I thought he's responsible and trustworthy. He has given me a raise and we're supposed to have some summing up dinner soon. But I don't want to go. I actually don't want to see him ever again... and her as well.

I wonder if I actually got MY heart broken, like was I in love with her? And I'm jelly?
Or maybe I'm still a kid, and it was silly of me to think some people are good? Everyone is bad and grow up weirdo?

I think I should stop care about all three of them. I feel like my world is falling apart and I have nothing to stand on.
But I don't know ;( ah, and I can't tell anyone I know.

So I was thinking about,the day that me and my "friend" meet up. And him cuddling me, but in my mind, all I could think about us sex. Is this normal for a 20 y/o who has never been in a relationship? I suspect that me being molested had something to do with it. Maybe I do have a fucked up view of what love is?

File: IMG_0696.jpg (239KB, 889x889px) Image search: [Google]

239KB, 889x889px

>>18648104
Honestly the fact that someone as incredible as you is attracted to me blows my mind. You have such a tremendous inner world about you, you're so aware and insightful it amazes me. You're funny and smart and you're cute as all hell. You're strong in a way that I understand all too well. When things get worse, you only get better. From that type of strength I know you've survived something aweful like I have. I want so badly to hold you in my arms, to kiss you and say "I understand." I want to love you with everything I am but you live so far away from me and it hurts.

I know you're lonely and it breaks my heart because you deserve the whole world. Of all the people in the world you deserve someone who understands the pain. I understand the pain. I wish Incould pull you out of that and into myself. I want so badly to know everything about you. In every single way, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever met.

I'm so sorry I had to buff your advances. When the two of us were out there at Hopi you kept coming at me in all the right ways. I was head over heels for you, but given the circumstances of what was happening, the leadership team tearing itself apart, all those sick kids, my sister destroying herself back home, there was no room for it, and now I'm on the other side of the country.

You were the right person in the right place at the wrong time. I am trapped here by all of my terrible snares, dragging me kicking and screaming back east. I'm so sorry.

I'm starting to like you too much. It's a little scary. I hope you like me too. I really want you.

I have a crush on my friend but I have a boyfriend and I feel so guilty and ashamed about it

It's my birthday today. Happy birthday to me.

>>18649888
Happy Birthday, anon. Have a great day.

>>18649888
Happy Birthday, bro!
Hope this year is full of good shit, like rainbows, and gummy bears, and those little mint things you get after you go to a nice restaurant that have the chocolate in the middle, or even just those little candies that look like strawberries. That shit is cash.

>>18648485
it would've been useful for you to be done 2 months ago but finally, thank you

Hey advice. I don't think this question deserves it's own thread, so here it goes.
I started dating this girl, and things were going nice for the first few weeks, but I found out she has a Tinder account.
Should I break up with her now, or open up that box of worms later if things start getting serious? Could I just ask her to delete it, or should I expect her to do that herself anyday now?

File: 1502909074354.gif (2MB, 230x230px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 230x230px

>she got fat
>I gained muscle and maintained
No, I didn't care before, but now that she points it out, I'm making a better choice by saying no.

Love, why did you let yourself go in these past month while we were split.
You know I don't like fat people.
Not asking for you to be like a super model, you fucked up.

>>18649993

Then why did you lead me along if you felt that way?

File: 29038190238.png (213KB, 600x800px) Image search: [Google]

213KB, 600x800px

We pretty much live two different lives and I've fucked mine over.
I don't really want to drag you down so I'll stay silent.
Just don't OD or something, I'd like to be yours when we're older if you're open to the idea.

>>18649888
Happy birthday!!!!!

>>18650011
Ask why she has a tinder account if you are her boyfriend. Post results.

I stole some guys drugs, he beat my all time best friend to death for it, probably because i am a girl "and you dont hit girls" he was killed while i was passed out on said drugs right besides them.
killer is still free
i will never forgive myself

>>18648551
It's probably because you're a liar and a huge faggot

>>>18650000
Do not reply to this post

I've had my orgasm now for a cup of coffee

>>18649814
>>18649882
>>18650066
Remember, not all women are like this. :^)

>>18650043
i didn't, i told you to stay away and i meant it, how could you possibly misconstrue that?

I've come to terms with all of the horrible jacked up things I have done to myself, to others, and what others have inflicted upon me. I still feel defective.

>>18650085

Well that was fun while it lasted. But I actually pulled away from her. She tried to hang on and she wouldn't let me. So I made her hate me. And now we hate each other. But this was 2 weeks ago. Not months.

I don't know what's come over me, I'm horny 24/7 right now.

I used to be a "creep". Didn't do anything, just had shit social skills and that made me enough of a target, especially to women.

I've learned and made rules for myself. I've gotten pretty suave because of it. I don't try to get laid, never really saw it as an option.
I go out of my way to avoid letting women know if I'm interested in them.

I do not compliment women, and up until recently, for the most part I don't just chat to them without a good reason.

There is one girl who's an exemption to this, she my workplace bff. I'm comfortable around her and she actually likes spending time with me - I know this because generally she approaches me.

My point is, up until recently, getting laid wasn't even a priority for me. Wasn't something I thought about. My sexuality went as far as thinking "Can't wait to get homer so I can jack it".

These days however, women do notice me. I get quite a bit of attention at work. My rules weren't for this, they were supposed to make me invisible.
At first I was uncomfortable with it.
Now I kind of like it.
I still won't make a move, that's hard coded in me.

But lately, I think now because it seems like it could happen, I've never been hornier or more sex obsessed to the point of looking up "massages" in craigslist, and looking up escort services.

Why not try meeting a real woman?
Well, for the past few years, my only interactions with women have been restricted to work, business, or me needing something.
I'm honestly more comfortable seeing it as a business transaction, rather then something two people who trust and like each other could do together. That kind of thinking is completely alien to me.

Right now it's just something I'm fantasising about. I do have morals and wonder over the ethical implications, I also do not like the idea that in order to get sex, I'd have to pay - because what does that say about me?

Just, getting shit of my chest.

>>18648104
why did she have to cheat on me. it's been a year and I still miss her. I'm back to my old self but man that shit was traumatic

>>18650052
Initials?

>>18650284
I feel ya, doo.

They had one job.
Could have said something. Anything.

Instead, it's easier to break a man's heart, trust, and faith. Fuck with him for the rest of his life.

All the stronger, I guess.

>>18649518
I wish you were him

this board is full of uneducated fuckboys and it's hilarious

>>18650329
It's sad that you really have nobody else to tell that to.

>>18650324
Me too

I can't tell you when im stuck in my own head with anxiety ridden thoughts, because I don't want you to worry. I know She already does that, tells you all her problems, and I respect how long you've known her and that you're just friends. I may not trust her but I'm putting my trust in you and it scares me because I've never done that before. I can't tell you the things that worry me all the time because you would be hurt by some of my concerns, you have your own depression to worry about as well, and I want to be that light when you feel like the world is dark. I want to stick by your side more than anything I've wanted in a long time, I want to watch you ride out of the darkest depths of your soul, even if it takes years. I want to overcome my insecurities and self doubt with you non the wiser if possible though. I just hope that for once in my life I can have a man that actually gives a shit. You have a beautiful soul and I just want to show you how much you mean to me even if it takes the rest of my life to do so.

>>18650333
Can I lay my head in your lap while you play with my hair?

>>18650080
>women
One$ of them is not one

>>18650347
We'd have to take turns

>>18650361
Of course... mostly I want to sit on your lap

>>18650380
That's disgusting.

>>18650384
Nobody asked you

>>18650394
Nor did I ask for your opinion on the matter, so I suppose we're even. Lap-napper.

I'm happy because I'm distracted.
I still think about you, but no longer with such strong nostalgia goggles. I now remember the bad times we had too. You weren't perfect. Obviously I was also nowhere near it either.
"She was alright because the sea was so airtight, she broke away."

I am the storm that never wanes.

>>18650394
That wasn't me

>>18650455
Good

>>18648104
I miss you sometimes
Still even after 4 months I still miss you
But you moved on and now you seem happy
I just don't get it

>>18650463
Shame.
They seemed like a really charming individual.

>>18650483
I literally can't...

>>18650501
You literally can't make a junk email to give to this other anon so that you can chat with them in a more appropriate environment?

That's a shame. This little fantasy you were all playing along to seemed so nice.

>>18650501
You guys are funny

I'm really scared that I fucked myself up for life. When I was younger I had a hard time at school after I moved. This made me to build this huge wall around my thoughts and feelings. Up to the point that I suppress all my emotions and thoughts, thus never dealing with them. This led me to become depressed. I've been in therapy a while now but I don't feel like I'll ever be the same again. I just feel like I can't reach these emotions anymore and I'll never be able to feel deeply again. Living life numb just isn't worth it for me. I'm also scared that the concussion I had when I was little may have contributed aswell, especially to my fucked up sleeping pattern. I just so scared to tell people the truth about what is going on, I just hope I can be at least honest next time I have therapy, and not pretend like everything is alright...

I resent women. I'm tired of the tests and hoops I need to jump through.

I actively ignore women I'm attracted too and avoid eye contact if possible.

>inb4 im a beta virgin

>>18650511
I get it, it's tempting but I really only want to have this conversation with the person I was originally reaching out to. I need him. I wanted to believe you were him so much.

>>18649672
Sorry you're struggling anon, battle with one's self always ends in a stalemate, have you ever composed a list of what bothers you about yourself, it helps to sort through the wreckage, I struggle with this too, The mind is a tricky device, positive thoughts help too, remember you're a work in progress, Rome wasn't built in a day. Hope you're doing better.

Just found out my ex had our dog put to sleep because she moved out of our old apartment, and couldn't get a place that allowed pets, or find someone to take him. Ive been dealing with severe depression and anxiety ever since we broke up. Because of all her cheating and lying I can't trust a word anyone says anymore. Every day I'm filled with thoughts of suicide and now it's worse than before. Just to pass the time and block out my mind, and the hopes it might eventually kill me, I've been huffing butane pretty heavily. It's at the point I'm either at work, giving the bare minimum or I'm in my bed sucking down the gasses straight from the can having wild hallucinations. Ex. After first hit last night I closed my eyes and saw a flood of happy little clown face balloons flying out of my tv and washing over me. Was crazy. After a few more hits I fell even deeper. I started having external hallucinations that made no sense. A person that looked like David remnant crawled out of my tv, put on headphones and sat down with a laptop and just said lesson 1. After that everything went dark, and started to be covered in this soft dark green spore like substance. It felt like the world was ending but it was soft and fuzzy and warm, so I was okay with it. After that I rolled over out of a blanket it an underground parking lot and saw trump hugging a fat black man. I rolled back over and saw my tv. I was back in my room but the actor Kevin James was on my tv staring at me judgementally. When I came out of it I realized it was just the Netflix poster thing for that spy movie or whatever it was he was in that's in Netflix right now. Either way, fucking he'll. I still want to die, but now I hope it happens while I'm on one of these crazy trips so at least my final moments are crazy trippy. Also fuck you ex. I still love you, i camt help that, but I hate you for killing our dog.

>>18650603
David Tenant

Is it okay to ask the course instructor for a syllabus before the course begins?

Not this time.
You had 7 months to reach back. To tell me you still loved me. I wanted to hear those words more than anything, but you didn't say them. You ignored everything I had to say about us. Simply passed over it.
I took it as a hint to move on. That you were just to kind, or cowardly, to tell me to "fuck off".
For months, like a man with a gun shit wound, I bled out emotionally. And you simply watched, not even offering a bandage. I still meant something to you, you should have made it known. But you didnt.
So I started to move on. Simply playing along with your once a week sterile text of "how are yous" and such.
I focused less on you, and more on me, and it made me happy. I am better and I realized we are toxic towards each other.

So here we are. I finally work up the courage to tell you it's over. That I will give up on trying to fix us. And what do you do?
You tell me that you love me, that you regret treating me like shit. That it was resentment, and you were sorry for it.

7 months. No. Not this time. I see your tears and I feel for you. But there is no continue this time. I'm standing resolute in what took me years to realize. We are bad for each other and it's best to part ways. The only reason it hurts me now is because I loved you deeply. Part of me still loves you, but not in the way you would a partner. Simply as a person you care about. That's all.

Even now you aren't willing to accept your part in our failure. You tell me you love me, but still indirectly poke at me as the crux of our broken relationship.
It takes two people, and I will no longer carry the guilt for the both of us. I will deal with mine, if anything, I already have. You deal with yours. Maybe some day you'll do what you told me, grow up. Maybe you'll realize your part in all this. Maybe not. I don't really care, because it's your life in the end.

I still harbor no ill will. Just don't tell me it's me you wanted and look for. You had 7 months to do that. Too long. Goodbye.

I'm afraid to get into relationship because I don't want to be found out that I had molested my sisters and cousins when I was young.

I've hidden my pain so well, people assume its part of my personality (I often use dark humor, so they automatically assume I'm joking whenever I say "I wanna die", even though I say it in a semi serious tone).

I'm always dragging myself down, to the point where I shrug off positive compliments and call them liars.

I've been single for as long as I've been alive, and I know my current attitude isn't gonna change that.

I've gained a lot of weight, and I rag on myself every time I look in the mirror, but I am incredibly lazy to do anything about it.

I've considered suicide many a time, but I think about how I'm gonna destroy my family and what little friends I've made by commiting such an action, so I get discouraged because I don't want to hurt them.

Usually painful events such as the loss of loved ones or pets are merely shrugs, as I say that the cycle of life continue.

I've effectively lost my ability to cry, during my lowest moments, all I feel is fatigue, and a heavy heart.

I can't see myself as sonetging other than a living pile of garbage. Who's only purpose in life is heating a chair and consume trash.

My acedemic drive is diminishing, as I find it extremely difficult to focus on class, and generally find it irrelevant.

I'm 22 years old, and I can't even begin to fathom how long I have to live with this.

>>18650676
Sounds like a misunderstanding, you should have spoke up instead of assuming they didn't like you anymore. Miscommunication and assumptions are poison. Assumptions make an ass out of you and me after all.

>>18650699
You sound just like me! =D
It's not all bad. Once you stop allowing people to convince you of what you're supposed to do, life can be fairly fun.

If you really want to make some quantifiable improvements in your life, getting off the computer is a good start. It's hard to have drive when you've got new and unlimited sources of instant gratification all over the place. Living through other people. Being bored is a good thing.

In regards to weight, it's what you wanna do. Some people like sports, so they do sports. Some people want to be healthy whether its for themselves or others, so they learn about health and diet. Some people just want aesthetics. It's whatever. You just have to look for your own excuse.

You'll make it, you just have to allow yourself to listen to your heart a bit more. Without bad, there is no good. Instead of repressing it, we just have to come to understand and accept it.

>>18648104

I cheated on my girlfriend by kissing another girl. I confessed it all to my girlfriend, and am now suffering from such heavy anxiety attacks that I cannot be there for her, now that she needs me the most. The fear of my gf leaving me has left me without a foundation in my life. I cannot bear the thought, and it stresses me out completely.

I want to be the one to make her feel better, to help her regain her trust in me, but I'm completely tangled up inside my own mind.

I dont sleep at all, which makes the anxiety worse.

I am so incredibly thankful that you have not left me, but it feels undeserved. I might have left you for that other girl, when we were struggling, if I would've had more confidence at that point, but I am so happy that did not happen.

I see now that you are the single most beautiful thing in this world, and the best thing that could've ever happened to me. I love you intensely, but I am struggling to convince myself I can in fact deserve your love again.
I do not know why such a thing had to happen to make me realize just how important and fundamental you are to me.

You repeatedly asked me to never give you up, even after what has happened and everything I confessed to. Please let me have the strength to get over this, for us, and for you.

Please let me get over this anxiety so I can be there for you again and make you happy, as you completely deserve to be.

>>18650703
I did. I asked of them to speak with me clearly, and yet they held their tongue.
Multiple times, I searched for a single sign that they wanted me there. A single word "stay" and like a trained dog, I would have sat on my ass watching the world turn. She never said it.
Our whole relationship was marked by misundestandings and poor communications. For years I had wanted to work on that as a team, to understand her better. For years there was no input from her. We met in high school, and we never grew past that teenage love phase. Our relationship was fine when constrained to the 4 walls of hs. It never grew strong enough to survive the two people we became.

She had years to sit down with me and talk. I always made it my point to do my best to listen. She seemed content with just texting and seeing each other for an hour once week. Even then, she did it because she felt obgligated.
Truth is we has more fundamental problems. I tried to address them many times. I'm tired of her not inputting. The only time she showed she honestly cared was as I walked away.

I was unhappy, and I am less so now.
We broke up 7 months ago and for 7 months I put myself to the grinder and got nothing for it.

Not sure what else I could have done, but I think this was a long time coming.
As much as it pains me, I know that if we were to try for a 5th, maybe 6th time, what would change?
We broke up 5 times already and each time we learned nothing.

I can't go back on this. Not anymore.

Welp, can't say I'm surprised.


Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

In the next few months before the year ends your past is going to come back to haunt you. Whether that be exes or people you’ve had a falling out with. And although you’ve changed and grown and matured, they look at you and think of everything you’ve done wrong. Do not allow someone else’s opinion to allow the past to dictate anymore of your present moments. Try and make it right if you can but also remember anyone who brings up your past is just jealous of a future they know will be bright.

>>18650758
Big hug fellow Aquarius, you do realize we usually haunt ourselves right? Just think though without all that turmoil our creative wires would cease to spark. :)

I can't just seem to push you aside in my mind, and I still miss you. And it's fucking with my soul because I still, in my heart, can't tell if it was supposed to be. I know (really) it is possible to be happier in a different relationship, but you and I clicked so well.

But I'm gonna bloody move on this year, that's what. And if I don't though, that's fine. Low expectations, I'm not gonna meet the love of my life (again) anytime soon. But that doesn't mean I can't meet people like me, and connect with them, just because of you. I will at least try, I'm going to make myself a better person, meet better people, and it may be many things, but definitely not a repeat of last year.

My heart was destroyed last year, and now I'm stronger, harder, wiser. And one day, one day I hope I can sit with you again, and talk of times gone by, and go back to our separate lives, and be overall happy. But right now, in this instant, I'm worried for you like I always was, and missing your company and warmth.

I get this is all generic broken heart bullshit to you. I get that you're smarter than me, and can look at something objectively. But only after I walked you to your therapist. Only after I started doing what you wanted. And once you were stronger, I realised I was weak. And I think I still am. Bloody hell, I just fucking miss you, and I don't know what to do. Some days, I'm over it and others... Others there is nothing I want more in the world than to see you again.

>>18650783
What if you haven't changed at all

>>18650783
>you do realize we usually haunt ourselves right?
You have a point, friend! Thank you for the encouragement.

>>18650808
Or what if they have no exes? I suppose these things aren't one size fits all.
At any rate, how could one know if you changed or not unless they were around? If they're coming back, they have no way of knowing.

>>18650699
Yeah, I feel you... I'm 26 now. A college dropout. I've been gathering different knowledge all my life and this is how I distract myself from anxiety, feeling empty, depression, ect. I also work nonstop to keep myself from breaking apart in my head. Everybody needs a purpose, and to be akgnowledged for it. Now I have a well paying job because of my skills. But that neverending shadow never ceases to loom over me - I even pray for death almost every day, when I go to sleep and left only with my toughts. Also a chainsmoking alcoholic.

What I'm trying to say is that sometimes you have to go head first through a wall. You're still very young - finish your education first and then look back. You'll meet many people that will either support you or bash you down. It is yourself first and then everybody else. Succeed where I could not!

I just got back into contact with an ex of mine that ended on really bad terms. We had a long talk about forgiveness and now we're just idly chatting again, with a very slight flirtatious tinge. She wants me to go to a anime con coming up in the future in my city, and I'm pretty sure i can fuck her. I have a lot of lust still left over from our relationship, as we never fucked, and she is a gorgeous girl with a hourglass body. I have a girlfriend now, and I don't know if I can resist the urge to do this. I've fetishized sex with her to a point that I pretend to fuck her instead of my girlfriend, and im hoping if i can just fuck her like an animal over the weekend of the convention, i'll be able to move on with my life

>>18650808
Change is subjective. The mere passage of time causes us to change. I have parts of myself I'm still trying to resuscitate after breaking myself down for so long. In the end does it really matter though?

>>18649888
It is also my birthday. Happy birthday hope you have a great day.

I dont want my gf to find out about me liking shotacon, but I also dont want to tell him. What should I do? I. Dont think I can drop this fetish

>>18650907
>gf
>him

What?

>>18650912
Sorry autocorrect

>>18650854
No it doesn't matter.

Ever since I got off birth control my boyfriend hasn't been nearly as intimate. I try to be sexy, I try to get him off first with blowjobs, but he always wants PiV and neither of us cum from that anymore, but he won't let me finish the blowjob.
I'm at a loss of what to do. I feel like I have all of the imagination and none of the power. I hate how he's limited his dick to the only tool he has to please me, I'd rather just masturbate and he can watch at this point. I know he masturbates regularly, so I guess I just need to step my game up. Since he used to also pressure me to do anal but never put any effort to work up to that, guess that's all on me to work on, too.

Hi L
You actually make me super happy. Everytime I talk you out, I realize that the world is actually not that bad. It makes me sad that you don't seem to realize how amazing you are. Cheer up, okay? You're always the person who has my heart and I'm always here to support you through thick and thin.

A

File: 1468717797788.png (152KB, 509x410px) Image search: [Google]

152KB, 509x410px

>ex finally apologizes for the hell they put me through
>they seem genuine
>finally admitted to treating me so badly because of resentment and pride
>ask me if it's now too late
>I don't have to the guts to tell them yes
Part me still cares about them, a lot, but I belong another. There is someone else that calls me "theirs". Someone that I dont want to let down.

It's a shame, but there's nothing I can do. The earth was salted between the ex and I. If there is one thing I can say, it's that I am simply a dog. Loyal, protective, and scared by thunderstorms.

I guess a "I'm sorry but it is too late" should suffice.

Are you okay ? Give me a sign of life sometimes. You blew my mind girl, I can't wait to see you.

>>18650836
Exes- I think 2 would like to see me suffer some excruciating death, another would be indifferent since I cut all contact even after he warned me of my current bf dating profile 2 months in, the x husband, I haven't spoken to since his gf he knocked up sent me a no longer contact him letter, lol we separated in 1999 and still fucked like rabbits in between our SO. Would have put in more of an effort had it not been for the drugs and always made to feel Iike I was filler. Can you imagine going to a party and having drunk women recount to you how they used to fuck around with your SO, while your SO is hanging out with the chick who blew him before you got married, awkward, the sick lead the sick and we decided to have an open marriage a year and a half in. Deviants!!! He'd prolly call me a whore and I'd be inclined to call him a whore asshole. I'd like to say maybe I've changed a bit, not the glorified whore I used to be, still very open minded though. I dodged a bullet though , his mom told me his wife had a black eye on their wedding day, all I received was verbal beat downs, lots of cock and a bitchslap, guess I should count my blessings. The only thing I don't have is kids. I find it safer to cut yourself off from people.

is it about over?

>>18651013
Time
Life
space
Distance?

I don't want to die but I don't have any reason to be alive. I've run out of things that I enjoy so any time not spent working, sleeping, or taking care of biological necessity is spent refreshing websites hoping there's something new that I might enjoy wasting a few minutes on.

>>18651030
I have no idea.

Shit got fucking weird.

Has no one really seen my face? So many music videos, everyone has a rabbit or cat mask on. Others just have a blank void, like the Sia videos with the girl with black//white hair. Then that whole "blurry face" thing.

You think the suspense is building, it's not. If you people think you're helping me, you're not.

The past two years have really sucked hard.

Girl I thought I'd marry finally got off her bullshit meds and turned into a huge slut. She still tries to fuck with me to this day.

Contract didn't get renewed, can't find an I.T. job in a city of almost 3 million, despite 2 1/2 years experience, a bachelors in I.S., and a Security+.

Moving back in with my parents on my birthday.

Have no idea how to make new friends, only have 2-3 left here in this city.

Still kind of addicted to porn.

Jealous of all the guys I see out there with their cute girls hanging on to them, I'm smarter, good looking, and funny/charming. I pull a lot on tinder. But that is unfulfilling and I refuse to be some provider when I'm 35 (26 now).

Dunno if I should move. But my friends and family are here and if I did move I don't think I could make new friends.

Just fuck everything. I want to believe that if I work at things, things will get better. But I've been doing that for years now and things just get worse.

File: horrified.png (2MB, 1284x1086px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1284x1086px

>>18651053
Tbh I think I've missed out on my shot at a happy life.

>>18651051
Sorry anon didn't mean to spook you

I was rambling, thinking if one of those things you're talking about.

>>18651011
>I find it safer to cut yourself off from people.
Cheers. Your story is rather moving, and while I feel inclined to share mine, my SO might lurk around and I don't want them getting the wrong idea.

>>18651059
Just do it anon

They are trying to use my philosophy against me.

The whole debunking of "I think, therefore I am" thing.

You might not be thinking at all. Just a recording of a life being played back to a processor. Every detail, just playing back in a perfect order. You think you're thinking, but ya aint.

File: IMG_2358.jpg (118KB, 614x488px) Image search: [Google]

118KB, 614x488px

Hey E,

Wanted you to know that when I spent time with you, I was truly happy. You changed me for the better. I still hope and pray (yes, pray, even though I don't believe anymore) for your return, though I suspect we both know we'll never meet again. Life is cruel that way.

All my love,

J

I'd make your body feel so many different things. Stuff you've only imagined

I'm too scared of putting my emotions on the line to pursue any relationships. Any time someone gets too close to seeing the real me I panic and cut them out of my life. I've lost all my old friends this way, and never had a serious girlfriend. Why am I like this? I guess I'm scared of being humiliated when someone I trust backstabs me.

Please stop ignoring me.

Please stop keeping secrets and shit from me.

I'm trying to love you, but you doing this shit is making it hard.

I want to get fucked by another dude but I'm too scared to go through with it.

>>18651069
That was nice anon, you should make sure they see this.

>>18651064
Maybe some other time. I'm so over it, it's not really worth the hassle.

Don't even bother. I know your itching to talk bullshit about the weather. You haven't seen me in months for 1 reason, your are psychotic. Look up what psychosis is, read about what your medication can do to some people, I think your one of the unlucky ones.

when I see the way my parents turned out, I think I dont ever wanna find love.

>>18651145
:eyeroll:

File: Screenprint_024.jpg (276KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

276KB, 1280x960px

I woke up the other day to lighting. I could feel my stomach, as if something were alive and kicking. As I turned around, the darkness was lit up revealing the face of the devil himself.

He lives inside me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-1RnTm31ng

File: nigga.jpg (59KB, 576x1024px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 576x1024px

A while ago I started browsing /fit/ for motivation and information but now that I have both I'm beginning to see the nature of the board. /fit posters/, like many of the other boards on 4chan, use a lot of retarded rhetoric to psychologically damage and corral the posters into a herd. For a website full of posters that are so intent on being unique and contrarian, hive minded mentality is an absolute plague. You'll be shamed for being different from the majority here and told to fuck off to wherever you came from because you don't follow the guidelines of what it means to be /fit/, /fa/, or whatever else. I've always struggled with anxiety and self confidence. I don't think browsing 4chan helped.
>But in the real world people will judge you the same way!
Of course that's true but I'd rather have face to face encounters with people about this stuff than coming home and reading negativity for hours. At leas then I'm getting regular interaction with human beings while getting shat on instead of being lonely and still pumping my head up with bullshit. I'm not using 4chan as a scapegoat for my issues, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life so far, but I'm feeling fed up with the bullshit and I think dropping the site will help in the long run.

The website will always hold a special place in my heart, I've had good times here and have definitely learned a lot but I think my mental health is a lot more important. There are still some nice places here like the /prod/ general on /mu/ that goes up sometimes and I like the GIOYC threads here so I may drop in for those from time to time. Once I'm more stable I may be back but I think I need a good long break while I work on improving my quality of life.

Well first of all, im a sperg, actual aspergers, diagnosed at 9. Things are going well, school is going great, some time ago I had some issues with my attitude and some teachers but im doing ok with that. Im getting good grades teachers like me and I have some school mates I talk to, no real friends but at school im no loner. At home things are going just fine to, I dont really care what happens and how we live but my mother is still somewhat bothered by my way of interacting with her even though I often have good intentions but am a little to straight forward. I also completed my half year internship and it was awesome, nothing special technically but I got to use my spergnes and show my knowledge and deliver proper good work. I also interact well with a lot of the people there, have conversations and have fun. And honestly im pleasantly surprised but the last thing. I find small talk very difficult and struggle to come up with shit to say, like sure I can answer others questions but there wont be anything from my side because I have no idea what to say. With a lot of people im just not good at conversations, I really need to think what I need to say, there is often nothing natural to it. I just dont know how it works. Thats also why im not really good with girls, I have no idea what to say what to talk about, and if I want to poke some fun or go a little further then "how you doing" I have no idea how. I did recently install tinder hoping that if its low rick and maybe talk to some and see what happens. I have a decent profile, some decent pictures, one of me playing rugby one infront of my volvo(huge turn on, i know) one in my mothers z4 and one of me in a crew shirt eating something. The line i have is "I like to tinker on cars, maybe i can tinker on you" I thought it would invite some girls to start and start sexual right away. Though I should explain, Im not on tinder for straight up sex, just meeting people and seeing if anything happens or dont even know.1/2

I love how powerless and shitty you are.

You have absolutely noooooooo leg to stand on with anything. I know what you tried to do, and why you aren't saying anything. What are you going to do? Nothing, that's what.

>>18651223
Expand

>>18651223
You sound unreasonably bitter and awful.

I'M EXTREMELY SCARED OF VOMITING. FUCK. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT HAD A NAME.

>>18651239
Vomit and get it over with and gurgle water

if you really need to

>>18651194
Most of the conversations i have are cringe as fuck I need to start them with or some bumb ass cheesy shit or just a hey how are you doing. One I got close to a meetup with, but I cringed my way out of that to. There was this one girl from belgium (im dutch) that opened, with what i had hoped for and we hit it off. shit was reasonably natural and I was having fun. We talked late into the night for a couple of days and shit got sexual sometimes and i gave her compliments and she likes that shit and im honestly supprised with myself how smooth i can be sometimes we also played some games of would you ever that went where you would hope the'd go. It was pretty clear that she has had experience and then if she want sex she gets it. im still a virgin so i cant exactly related to her in that way... At some point i was thinking where the hell is this going? Why are you on tinder, what are you even looking for? And i asked her... she said she was just on there to meet people and she just parted with her ex and was not looking for anything... We still talk but not as much as in the beginning and no proper conversations. And sure she starts every once in a while with a meme or something but she doesnt show interest in me by way of asking questions... if i werent to ask questions it would not really go anywhere. And i just dont know what to do with this... i still see comments on facebook shit from here related to crush shit and a comment i left my vest at someone from tinder, and that somehow bugs me... we are nothing, we just talk but it bugs me somehow. what the hell do i do with this, i will be going to belgium im a couple of weeks and i was thinking of doing something her. But last time i said i was in belgium at that moment, and even very close to her she just said aight nice...
The whole first part was just a bit of me as of lately and that stuff is not at all going badly but i dont really know what to do with this girl and tinder in general...

>>18651235
My entire life was stolen from me. All things considered, I am handling this extremellllyyyyyyy well.

But like, at least my mother acts aware of the awful things she has done and continues to do. My dad just acts like a fucking prick. He seriously is a sociopath.

I blame myself for getting stuck here.
When I met you I was 22 you were 17. I was a popular student and you were a model but most of all we were 2 weird misfits.

Your parents abused you physically and you were raped I could forgive any issue you had I even did when you left for that coke dealer and took you back in beaten up as you were.I knew about your lies but that summer of 2015 you went to Europe was too much and I told you it was over.I zombied trough university in a dead end program for 2 years totally depressed.
'm sure you are as good looking as you were. I grew old in 2 years and began loosing my hairs. I wanted to help you so much I did not notice the time was flying away from me and I can't get it back.

File: photo_2017-08-06_19-59-20.jpg (38KB, 334x416px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 334x416px

I am nineteen and I have erectile dysfunction in terms that my dick is almost completely dead, I don't feel any arousal for woman, I jerk off through force. In my adolescence I used to jerk off furiously, I also remember what sort of resentment I had and now have, I think I killed my sexual drive. At the same time I fear women. If I ever manage to get one, she'll drop my ass anyway as soon as better prospect arrives. I always have to hide my frustration.

>>18651258
stop masturbating
If you do masturbate take it slow

>>18651276
I went nofapping and it didn't help much. I suppose my trouble is purely psychological, since there are moments where my head goes "clear" and I get a boner immediately, so as my sensitivity returns.

A
I'm crazy, it would be better for you to just walk away. I am not a good friend. I can't stop thinking about you, totally stupid. It has always been like this for me. You must have known all along. I don't know why but you really just do it for me. We could have had great sex but I doubt I could get over my insecurities. I'd never be good enough in bed or out and you'd break me when you vanish. Plus I'm taken, for now, until I fuck this up. It will break him. You know we haven't had sex in 2 months? He's fine without and I'm tired of having to always instigate. Plus he isn't into the same fetishes, he's vanilla. Anyway, I can't get my head on straight. I feel like I am drowning. I made a suicide plan, it'd be so fucking easy. But I don't want to hurt anyone but myself. So I'll stay here in my silence. But really you should forget about me. I'm going to leave you alone.
Yours Truly.

The only reason I still have snapchat is because that's the only form of communication I have left with you, and we don't even speak there anymore.

Watching you let your demons drown you hurts so much knowing that you were the one to save me from the clutches of mine. Why, why can't I know the right way to handle this? Am I supposed to be soft or firm? Am I only adding to your suffering? Isn't there anything I can do to make the world not seem so shitty, to make it to where you don't need to dull your senses and close me out. Because that's how it feels, god is there really nothing I can do but wait it out? It's fucking bullshit how useless I am at the end of the day.

>>18651258
see a doctor, yes it may be awkward but you're young and there's obviously a solution to what you've experiencing whether thats through meds or therapy

>>18651331
It sounds like they don't want to burden you with them. Is there something that happened to them recently that made them feel that way?

You know you suck as a lover. is when the only thing you get is awkward one night stands... I can't get a woman to really like me, and the only ones that are too stupid enough to get in bed with me are all fucked up up in the head. It won't be long till I turn 30, and I have come to the point where I have completely lose hope in love. I am sick and tired of being lonely.

>>18651378
Nothing that stands out, just a lot of little and medium sized stuff has happened this year. But to me if that's feels like it sprung out of the blue

>>18651396
Read what you said.. you basically give off the vibe that your not good enough to be loved, potential partners will be scared off by this and you become a self fulfilling prophecy..

>>18651382
Why? What will it achieve? You wouldn't talk when I asked.

>>18650542
I know how it feels. I have a similar situations where I'd like nothing more than to reach out, but I can't in any way because there is literally someone spying on me all the time, probably even here. This board has been used against me before.

>>18650618
Yeah. Whether or not you'll get it is a different story. That's going to vary from prof to prof. Some might not even have it written yet.

File: tumblr_otap7xd59n1sga7ujo1_500.jpg (44KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 500x500px

Dear M,

I love you and you miss you deeply. I hope the next girl you end up with treats with you such deep love and care. Something I could never give you.

Is this the pain you wanted me to experience?

Good bye. I'll always be your girl, even when I'm not.

>>18651448
Really? How would they know it's you?

>>18651424
Normal that behavior only happens when someone breaks up or someone dies.

Hey how goes it? If around you should hang out with us dorks, we're watching Netflix and playing video games. I promise it won't be awkward like it normally is.

I thought things were going great and then your ex shows up out of nowhere and complicates things. It's so frustrating this is happening again to me, I guess I just thought you'd be different. I know I'm stupid to hang on, but I don't know if I'll ever meet a girl like you again so I just hope you get away from your ex as soon as you can.

File: 2d289806371aa2a0d557d5b10ef7_base_optimal.jpg (135KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

135KB, 1024x768px

FUUUUUUUUCK THE PAST 2 MONTHS HAVE BEEN THE BIGGEST FUCK UP OF MY LIFE SINCE I DECIDED TO THROW EVERY SINGLE SOCIAL ACHIEVEMENT I'VE MADE FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS DOWN THE FUCKING TOILET AND NOW I'M BACK TO SQUARE ONE WITH NOTHING AND NOBODY!
IT DOESN'T HELP THAT I'VE ALSO DEVELOPED SOCIAL ANXIETY TOO JESUS CHRIST JUST ERASE ME FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH

I was with this girl on a date, and I was telling her I am physically attracted to her, she kissed me a bit and I told her I am getting a semi, by the time she put her hand down my pants I went soft.

She said is there something wrong with you down there, isn't it normal for a guy not to get a boner over something so little, all we did was kiss, I got a semi, and it went flacid when she stopped.

That's normal right?, Aren't most guys flacid when you're on a date?

I don't know what to do. Acquaintance of mine is a suicidal druggie. I'm constantly worried that one day I'm going to wake up and he won't. I don't know why this fucks me up so bad; we aren't especially close. Just the thought that any day he could just Not Be gets me. He doesnt want help, he doesnt want anything. The meds havent helped, the psychologists and therapists havent helped (the guy just bullshits them), nothing works. Can you even help someone who wants to set themself on fire? I just cant shake that if I only tried, but I don't know. I hate this feeling. I hate being powerless. I hate having to watch it go down

>>18651245
How was your life stolen?

File: IMG_4524.jpg (213KB, 750x695px) Image search: [Google]

213KB, 750x695px

i'm so bored and lonely right now and the person on the floor above me throwing a banger definitely isn't helping.

my boyfriend left me last week, i have no friends, and i'm an alcoholic with no alcohol

Well, I finally did it.

I booked myself in for a gay tantric massage.
The horniness took over, and I haven't had any privacy in the past week to masturbate so I'm just doing it. Finally giving in to bicurious urges.

I've been buying a lot of baby stuff as of late baby food (the fruit kind only) baby spoons, bottles, and washcloths. I'm not pregnant, and I don't have the fetish. I just take comfort in using this stuff. Am I weird?

I'm not trying to be edgy, I swear. These are my genuine feelings. Is it right to idolize a serial killer?

Personally, I really like Richard Ramirez- in a non romantic way. The way he embraced his damaged self, and let out his rage(?) through murder and rape. Rape doesn't interest me. The fact that he had the guts or lack of care to take revenge on the bad deck of cards he was dealt with in life is admiring. I consider myself an angry person, I am. I keep it hidden though, but I have always liked the idea of revenge. The idea of beating my sister for choking me and holding me down while screaming in my face throughout my childhood. The idea of hurting my father who didn't want to raise me, and eventually kicked me out. The idea of punching my mother who left me to fend for myself as she got blackout drunk every night. I think I deserve something, as does everyone who had a troubled childhood does. I can't see myself killing anyone, it seems ridiculous. But their "dead conscience" and loneliness, and realizing no one cares. Its really relatable, and I wish I had the guts to get my revenge. They didn't obey society's rules and that's really admirable. Society wasn't there for them. I can't say I have sympathy for their victims. I don't know them, so I don't care. I'm sorry if this seems edgy, but it's been on my mind for awhile. I can't see myself killing anyone. I am just too weak and fragile for something like that. I prefer having my own family and not repeating my parent's mistakes, but revenge sounds really good too. I could never wrap around "living a happy life is the best revenge!" I went through miserable times, and you expect me to forget it? It's hard to understand.

i feel like i'm about to snap again even though i told myself for so long that i wouldn't end up this way. the way you so casually walk in and out of my life makes me sick.

>>18651465
You should tell m how you feel

>>18651661
>we aren't especially close
> Acquaintance of mine
If this were true you wouldn't care as much as you do. Ask him why he doesn't want to live. Everyone needs purpose, some things can't be medicated away nor talked about to a shrink. If he doesn't want to open up, you have done all you can. Some people even with help still die.

>>18651591
How did she break up with her ex originally? Depending on how you might have a chance. However if they were a thing and she cheated on him with you, or if she dated you immediately after leaving him then you are completely fucked and should prepare for it now.

>>18651694
No, but why do you feel like you are doing this?

>>18650966
Abbie?

>>18651704
>I'm not edgy I swear
>goes on about wanting to be an edgy wannabe

I met a wonderful girl who I hit it off with quite easily. I've had a crush on her for a few weeks now, and recently started talking to her and became fast friends. I want to ask her out so badly. But I'm a biological male who identifies as female, and I have no idea what her sexuality is. I've only ever had unhealthy. Abusive relationships, and I know this would be different, but I don't see it happening, and it has me extremely depressed.

File: 2017-08-24 03_10_00-Hushabye Valley.png (59KB, 251x250px) Image search: [Google]

59KB, 251x250px

Just how the fuck do I find myself a gal anymore?!
Haven't meet anyone new for hell if I know how long now and the few folks I knew are long gone.
I've been all over the internet to try and find opportunity but to no avail, it's either the same shallow kind of idiots, just people I have little in common with, or nothing, no one to approach even.
Having moved out with parents, the nearest town doesn't seem to have anything promising either, especially for a young outsider. I don't know, I'm out of ideas and patience to put up with needless bullshit, no one to meet at school either, especially with the same faces or the last year of private tutoring. Best case scenario I'll meet someone at a university, but there's still another year to cope with in between. Damnation, cannot even make use of passion for digital art to meet someone anymore like I used to, be it cause I do not "exist" anywhere or have noteworthy skills. Interests like philosophy do not help either, especially when I can barely bring myself to draw even because of the prolonged solitude draining me of motivation.

6 days to my b-day... like I can care, I've just tossed 10 years away... 10 years I won't ever get back.
I even could kms that day and nobody would really cry for me.
Idk, maybe I'll end up doing it. I'm just a piece of eurotrash that doesn't deserve anything and anyone, I deserve being alone, I deserve my thoughts, I deserve my fate.
It isn't like anyone would cry for me if I do it...

I get asked every now and then if I have a girlfriend. Though I reply "no," I tell myself I do because it's like we never really broke up.

I miss you.

I've got 5 tickets for the powerball drawing tonight and the odds (obviously) aren't in my favor

Wish me luck /adv/.

>>18651995
let us know how it goes

I'm scared of ending up alone.
My gf left me 4 months ago and she already found herself a guy that makes her happier. Her friends tell me that they think he's less attractive than me but that doesn't really make me feel better.

A lot of girls tell me they think I'm cute but it's like no one wants a relationship with me. Idk if I'm trying to hard or what. I just feel very scared about the future.

I've been working out and I feel better than I was a few months ago but Idk. I just feel like no one is ever gonna love me again like how she did. Even if she fell out of love with me and treated me like shit. I feel like that's the farthest I will ever get.

>>18652135
Post a pic of urself and her new bf I want to see the comparison

>>18652164
But anon.
That's weird.

>>18652166
Humor me bitch

File: IMG_1766.jpg (368KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

368KB, 1080x1920px

>>18652173
I don't take pics of myself often but here I guess

File: IMG_1819.jpg (110KB, 540x960px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 540x960px

>>18652173
And her new bf. I just want u to know it triggered me to save his picture

>>18652183
>>18652180
Not that other anon but keep ur head up. Ur a good lookin dude. I'm a bit iffy on that emo hair tho lol. But I'm sure you'll find someone and you look young so stop worrying about it.

>>18652180
>>18652183

Same person in pics.

>>18648104
C,

Still as pathetic as ever.

A

>>18652191
Thanks anon :>
I hope I can find someone

>>18652221
Nigga u teasing me?

I love you so much but you're so dismissive. It hurts. I need you, I don't want to live anymore. I can't do it. I tried for too long, it's too hard... I give up. I wish I was good enough for you.

>>18652229
since you're gonna kill yourself soon anyway, you might as well talk to a psychiatrist and see if they'll get you some meds asap first. If they don't work you don't have anything to lose

File: 1503103315125.png (1MB, 968x732px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 968x732px

>23

>Drop out of uni because of bad life choices and not planning it properly and parents pushing me into it without any intention of supporting me etc. its one huge mess

>£1500 in overdraft
>40k odd in student loan debts
>No license or car
>Had to move back in with my dad so I could live somewhere rent free just to save money
>No room of my own, been living on his couch for 3 months now
>Last proper qualifications were college BTEC diplomas from 3 years ago
>Haven't had sex since december

I honestly feel like I've got absolutely fuck all. Which is basically true.

So I felt like trying to get some physical gratification, so I go back on Tinder. A bit of attention will make me feel a bit better and I hooked up with 2 people on it late last year. But I've been off it for a while because I got sick of how shallow it is

>On it for 3 days
>Must have spam swiped on fucktons of girls
>Not a single match

Well thats cool. Not only have I got nothing to my name, but now apparently Im completely undesirable too

I have no money, no respect, no bed. Life is pretty shit right now not gonna lie

>>18652241
Thank you, you're right. I have a lot of medicine here.

All I ever wanted was to treat you like a queen and make a family with you, and even though you've never felt the same way about me that I've always felt about you since the first time I saw you 15 years ago, I'll keep trying until my dying breath because even one moment with you is worth a lifetime of waiting. I just hope that you see the light and realize that I was the only one who had your best interests at heart even when everyone else was telling me how you was fucking and sucking dudes off in cars and whoring around town. I never listened to that, I never questioned you, all I wanted was a chance to impress you and an opportunity to court you and give you everything to make you a happy woman.

File: dd robot.jpg (113KB, 635x474px) Image search: [Google]

113KB, 635x474px

>>18652245

But the way I see it, what I do have is time and freedom. Im not tied down to anyone, have no stakes in any particular place, I quit my shit minimum wage job in the city (Ive been there for 3 months since moving back with my dad because I Was supposed to move into the city NOW. But that room feel through because cunts gonna cunt and fuck that commute for minimum wage and a shit job)

So all Im gonna do now, is take all the money I have and just pump it into me

Im going gym from tomorrow, Im gonna try and basically live there to have my own space separate from my dads place
And Im not gonna fucking socialise for a month and go full cocoon mode and just work on bettering myself

And taking the rest of my money and getting my license and renting myself out a small van, because my dad can get me self-employed work with his courier firm. And thats decent fucking money. Like 25k starting for 30 hours a week.

So then I might have nothing to my name, but I'll have gym to keep me sane and give me my alone time, and I'll have the courier work to start seriously putting money away

Then after a month or two, I'm gonna move out and get myself a room in the city I can comfortably afford while saving. And Im just gonna do my thing and tell everyone else to fuck off and let me earn money and have my independence so I can be happy

I have been depressed for a while. I am to afraid to get help because my parents would find out and they wouldn't take it too bad. I basically depend on drugs for life to be bearable. I cant even motivate myself to do anything and the next semester is gonna wipe the floor with me.
Also i am lonely as fuck. I dont have any real friends and my family is barely ok with how my life is. I know that they are disappointed, but I cant help it.
Prolly gonna off myself before 25 desu

>>18648767
are you gonna do it?

>>18652180
How'd the haircut go tho

>>18652256
>and get my dick sucked

>>18648958
I'll start to talk to my sister about my problem now. Thanks for the advice

>>18652299
Pretty good thanks

>>18649223
just do >>18649227
Dont beat yourself up because of it.

>>18652221
>>18652228
That's before and after the haircut lmao.

When u cut Ur hair u gain atleast 30 poundS

>>18651857
Well, he broke up with her some time ago and she "was" over him until he showed up at her house crying one day. So yeah, I'm probably fucked, but I'm just trying to find some hope to cling onto for now.

>>18652135
>>18652180

Geez just relax. Focus on some other goals outside of getting into a relationship.
You got a girl before you can do it again.
There are literally an endless amount of women.

File: fear.png (9KB, 244x207px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 244x207px

>Failed math last year
>Get sweaty about gettin whipped by parents
>They're fine with it and sign me up for an online summer class
>Took exam earlier today and now more anxious than a pedo at a play ground for the grade to get back

Im also on my like 7th day of no fap so thats cook

Haven't talked to any of my friends for 4 weeks after having day to day contact. A lot of it is because I'm depressed but none of them know that.
I cant tell them either because they dont know anything about the real me. I will have day to day contact in a couple of weeks and I think I should get in contact with them again. Otherwise I won't have any friends, but I really dont want to. I am scared of their reaction to getting in contact with them.
I really dont know how to do this

>>18652338
I mean you're right. I've been ignoring my college duties because of this shit. I don't even know what I want to be majoring in. Thanks.

>>18652303

No. I've never even kissed a girl at 28, let alone would even know how to go about getting oral sex. I can say I'd be fine if she never sucked my dick one, only that I'd get to cook her breakfast and put a roof over her head and be her rock for when times get tough.

>Think about maybe finding a gf
>Jerk off instead
>Don't care about a gf anymore
I know I'm supposed to be a social animal and all because human, but it's so liberating never feeling lonely or having any particular need for other people that can't be resolved with masturbation instead

>>18652367
This is how men end up getting used, anon.

"Oh I just want to be there for you when times are hard."

To which they are thinking "well then I can just forget about you when they're not right?"

>>18652256
What do you love about her. Is she kind to you. What qualities does she have, that make her so special? Is she beautiful?

File: CZiq32pUUAA_6pg.jpg (31KB, 600x565px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 600x565px

My roommate can't go 6 weeks single and yet I've been single for 6 years.
I'm so jealous why is it so easy for some people and fucking impossible for others.

Things didn't go to well on the planned trip with my mom. Her plain didn't fail, but backfired a bit, but in the end we were content. Visited a church where we were and we lit up candles and prayed (she did, I guess I did too). I lit a candle for my father and mother praying to god to keep their health until they see a grandchild (which I know won't be mine, but my brother's), I prayed for my brother to be as strong as he is kind, I prayed to everyone who wishes me harm wishing them health and hapiness. But I couldn't pray for myself, maybe because I feel I don't deserve anything more than what I already have. Last time I prayed for myself I prayed for peace, like the peace I felt when I held you in my arms.

>>18652388

She was one of the few people who treated me nicely in high school. Was bullied a lot but we were very close friends. She never judged me for anything and was always kind to me.

Voice of an angel, beautiful brown hair, intrepid blue eyes, literally perfect and I've never met another girl like her in my entire life.

She keeps dating abusive men that always leave her worse off than where she started, and I've been the one constantly positive male in her life (even her family doesn't talk to her). I just don't get it. Logically speaking, it's a perfect match. I make money, I can provide for her, my only goal in life has been working my ass off to make myself good enough for her.

>>18652399
Been single for 24 years lol xDDDDDD

desu

Dear E,

I’m writing this letter to you because I need to get this out of my system. I’m not sure if I’ll ever send this to you but I need to write this to purge you from my thoughts. Because I’ve been thinking about you all summer and it’s stupid that I still am. But for the last month and a half I catch myself staring at our past text messages and I so want to ask you what the hell happened.

You seemed so interested that first week when you got back to the city. We hung out three times that week and after all that was said and done, I felt like there was a connection there. But I guess I was naïve in thinking that, because it seems like none of that really mattered to you. And I get it, you have been in other relationships, and being with someone who is behind in that regard can lead to a disconnect. The thing is, after that week I felt something real for the first time in a while. And I wanted to chase that feeling, but truth is, I don’t know how to chase it. So I kept in touch with you even though you were gone for that month. And even though you were in another city, talking to you throughout the day helped me during that part of the summer.

Then you said you were coming back because you got fired. And in that couple weeks you came back, a whole bunch of other shit happened to you. And I can’t imagine what that must have felt like. I wanted to reach out and see what I could do to help because I cared. But through our interactions I think I might have come off as cold towards what happened. I couldn’t empathize with how you are feeling and so all I could do was stupidly look at you respond with something along the lines of, “that sucks.” I kept on telling myself that we still didn’t really know each other that well and so I just stayed back and let you deal with it. And that was wrong, I should have done much more, but even now I don’t know what I could have done.

Part 1

File: gafhhags.gif (464KB, 500x338px) Image search: [Google]

464KB, 500x338px

>>18652431
At least you don't know what you're missing I guess.

>>18652448
I guess I would have been a shit companion. I don’t know how to deal with other people, I’ve been stuck with my own problems and no one else’s. It’s all due to this lack in experience I have, I don’t have the empathy capable of being there for someone. My friends have been going through shit this year and I was so damn frustrated that I couldn’t do shit to help them. There’s a disconnect here that I create with everyone I know, and it’s all due to how I’m so emotionally inarticulate. I’ve been so chicken shit of showing any emotions to anyone. I don’t like being vulnerable in front of people, because I’m afraid you or whomever would shatter me. And maybe no one means to do that, but if I go over the edge I’m not sure I’ll make it when I hit the bottom.

I’ve gotten so good at tucking my feelings and emotions away that my brain sometimes does it automatically as a defense mechanism. Like the last time we hung out at then bar and when I bumped into you at the river. I was with you and yet I felt nothing. I felt distance there, but it was a symptom of all that bullshit that happened to you. But I pulled back because I was scared as shit that you didn’t like me anymore and you were pulling yourself away. So I played it cool and was conservative with how I would approach you.

Part 2

>>18652450
Yeah I'm still not sure if I should be glad or sad because of it

Four more days for you to respond. Please respond. I really like you and I want to spend more time with you before school, you have great taste, insight, and a wonderful sense of humor. You also happen to have the best body I have ever seen.

>>18652448
>>18652455

But some drunk nights my emotions hit me, and I regret not telling you what it all meant to me. Even though I’m just some other guy, and there’s much better out there. I want to tell you how when we first kissed and I saw you smile my chest expanded and the heat rushed to my head. How I could fucking listen to you talk for hours. How much I wanted to snipe kisses on your cheeks. How for the first time in my life I thought maybe I wouldn’t be this tinman. That I had a heart, and I wouldn’t be scared to show it to you. But at all the same time I wanted to give you space, I wanted to come as strong and not this weak individual that I actually am. I was never good at acting though. I’m a big mess and I don’t know how to sort myself out.

So at the end of it all we’re left with this silence. We’re strangers. And I can’t help but think of all the days we could have spent together, you suggested some ideas before you came back if I recall. But then everything fell through and I’m trying to figure out what happened. Bad timing? Ultimately, I’m the reason this rift between us has occurred.

Fuck…I miss you. But I’m just stupid and naïve. Maybe this isn’t the end but I feel like it is. So…. It was nice being with you.

M.

I think I'm a tranny and that's making me hate myself more and more every day

File: YotsubaPhased.jpg (20KB, 316x255px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 316x255px

I'm so alone, I'm trying to get used to it but I can't sallow it anymore. I need company and someone to love. Just started college still have some friends from high school, but I'm the third wheel in all their hang outs. Everyone had a roommate in my building but me, not because I wanted it like this but because he left me.

Found some of the sweetest girls on campus and I thought I could finally make some genuine friends, nothing more than someone to talk to. But all communication just stopped, tried texting them no answers. Seen them walking around campus, one of them actively ignores me. Don't know what I did, or might something my "friends" did.

>>18652458
Grass is always greener I suppose, but I wish I never knew what happiness felt like if I knew it was gonna be this painful without it. I think ignorance is bliss in this regard, because once you get a taste its the most powerful and addictive drug known to man, you're changed forever and the world is just in sepia without it now.
The 9 months of happiness weren't worth the 6 years without, knowing what I had before.

File: It's a big city out there.gif (46KB, 450x750px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 450x750px

>>18652475
are you me?

I looked up a girl on Facebook that I knew in High School and then wanted to date this one time in college

She's blogging about her dog. A fucking pug, no less.

She rejected me, once. We had a date set up and then she said no on that date, and every day after.

I like her. I still do.But watching her fail so hard on this stupid fucking vlog makes me happy.

I want to in a year, once my job is soldified, call her up and then reject her like she did me

She's going to be a 40 year old spinster. And she rejected me once.
Fucking feel some schadenfreude about that

File: images-9.jpg (23KB, 446x330px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 446x330px

> Be me
>Meet the most beautiful wt girl there
> we talk and offers me lifts home if we clock off at the same time
>start getting attached, dream girl, see no flaws.
>Tell her i like her, says she knows
> receive the following

so kinda put me in a bit of a situation.
i'm flattered that you like me, i really am, but i just don't think i'm ready for anything right now, i know that'll probably hurt, but i've just got so much going on.

i'm clearly not going to cut you off, i'm not like that at all,

all my last 3 relationships have been back to back; like no break what so ever, and that's what i need, i'm planning on going overseas for a while so i'm not going to lead you on.
it's not a waiting game because i don't actually know when. i can't give you a time frame.
you have gone above and beyond and i can say i've never really had that before and it was nice, i'm sorry if i have lead you on in any way and i know this isn't really the answer that you're after.

i don't need time to come up with an answer. i just don't want you waiting around for something that may not happen, right now, i can't say i have feelings for you, i'm sorry.

She is the one i know she is i dont want to let go even if everyone tells me to, ive never experienced pain like this in my life.

>>18652410
Does she know how you feel?

>>18652490 I'm really bad at stuff like this but I mean it
I really wish you the best. I'm sure you will make it without her.

>>18652609
UNDERAGE B&

>>18652576
>call her up and then reject her like she did me
How exactly will that work?

>>18652619
Plan for a date and not fucking show up
She had the control then. Now I do

>>18649464
thanks anon

Who would have thought THAT piece of identifying information was there. How long was it there for? Who knows! Why did I put it there in the first place? I don't know.

Hmm.

Some days are better than others. You've given me absolutely no real reason to not trust you, but something's off. I think my doubts are widening this gap between us. I'll never make you free. Where would I be without you? And where would you be without me? I'm just holding you back. And yet, there's the voice back there saying, "It's not true. This isn't what you think of me. It's all in my head." I really don't think I deserve all I take from you. Maybe tomorrow, I'll be better.

I can't get over how retarded I was for doing that.

You were infatuated with me for 4 years before I met you. Once I did, we hit it off right from the beginning. We dated for 8 months until you decided to end it because you "didn't feel the same as you did in the beginning". Then we don't talk for a month, but one thing leads to another and we end up getting dinner together. We kissed throughout the night and you end up telling me how you love me again and want to be with me but you won't do it because you want to "focus on yourself". Well I never fucking held you back in doing what you wanted. I want you in my life if not romantically then at least platonically. Why the fuck do you make it so hard on me? I never treated you like shit, I was your first boyfriend for fuck's sake and we were having a gay old time. Then I like one your posts and you block me? What the fuck is that all about? Jesus fucking Christ can you make up your mind for once at least? When the fuck do things go back to normal. After dating you I'm not sure I want another relationship. Just so I can face that pain in the end all over again?! I'm sure there is someone else, someone better out there for me I just haven't found her yet. Your own mother acknowledges that you made a mistake when you left me. But no, you're too good to listen her or your father at that. You keep wishing they would divorce already because he treats her like shit and to some extent I can see that but that's not something you wish for, is it? You don't know the half of what divorce will do to them, your siblings, and especially you. Maybe I'm wrong, but maybe I'm not. Is that what it is? Is it the family issues you have that make you the way you are? God only knows I guess. Sometimes I wish I could just skip to that sweet spot in a relationship where everything is just perfect. So again I ask, when will everything go back to normal?

I'm sleepy.
I wish I could cuddle and fall asleep with you.

I feel like this relationshit is giving me more harm than good. I honestly should've left you alone instead of ever trying to even start a conversation remotely about anything not business related. I might make you happy, but you're killing me.

>>18652800
Good night anon.

>>18652693
What did you do?

Fuck you, Zach. "I deserve it"? What the fuck do you know about me and what I deserve? Apparently I don't deserve one minute of your fucking time to clue me in to what's going on and give me some peace of mind. You know how I felt. You know what it meant to me. I make myself available every minute of the day for you, but only grace me with your presence when it's convienent and you're horny, like I'm some fucktoy you keep in your drawer. I'm so tired of waiting here night after night hoping you'll throw me a bone. I can't sleep like this. I feel physically sick.

Did you think I was doing that because I liked it? That I was enjoying it as much as you? I hated doing that shit. I only played along because you wanted me to. Because nobody had ever wanted me before and it made me feel like maybe I wasn't completely worthless. That maybe I could be more than just a consolation prize for someone to settle on after choices one through five didn't pan out. But I guess I was mistaken. With the way you're treating me now I must be pretty worthless to you.

>>18652800
*cuddles you

>>18651931
Please Kill me.

>>18648555
Can I fuck you to death?

I should really be going to bed but I'm just having too much fun writing this gay porno fanfic. Maybe my friends were right and I should get into writing shit.

>>18653026
Please please please

File: 7s-pos-720p [00_13_49.578].jpg (218KB, 1200x720px) Image search: [Google]

218KB, 1200x720px

>>18648104
I'm not quite sure she likes me.
Sure she may have shown signs in the past (like that time when she stayed over to finish "homework" or the time when she worked a shift when she wasn't supposed to and told my friend & co-worker to not tell me that she was working that weekend) but when I message her and try to pin down a date to meet up, she flakes.

I genuinely enjoy talking to her; I find her a great source of inspiration and joy but her lack of availability and lack of responses to my messages make me think otherwise.

I have a general idea of her schedule as she told me her general financial situation (in debt and is working a 60+ hr work week atm) but I still find it odd that she doesn't respond to my messages.

A good friend of mine says that she is but she's merely an oddball among woman; a genuine dork, inexperienced in these things. Yet what are the chances of that? I apologize for sounding too cynical but in my experience, if something is too good to be true, it usually isn't.

I do like her but is she merely using me as some sort of ego boost?

>>18651691
I hope you have fun and every goes well, anon.

>>18652490
that's depressing. thanks.

>>18648108
Dreams mean nothing. Lots of people have had an incest dream at least once. Doesn't mean you secretly want to do it lol it's just a dream. You're not responsible for it in any sense.

All the ones I fall for are the same, all the ones that fall for me are the same. We both have these warped view that the other will always be perfect for us. God damnit, I do like you, we do have similar interests, but the age gap is too much for me, and you're unfortunately childish for your age. I'm surprised that you don't at least live alone. I'd love to be the person you can count on to actually listen to what you have to say, but I don't think you'll even process it that way. I don't know why you're so charming, or why I like people like you, but it's getting infuriating for me. You're not good for me and any chance of a relationship is just a pipe dream. I'll still wonder what you think about in the morning as we have the exact same stupidly long commute to work. I'll still think of all the potential you have. Fuck, I need to stop getting so emotionally invested in shit like this.

Another lonely night.

>>18653096
It'll be alright, man.
Although it feels as though it's an eternity, it won't last forever.

>>18653053
Why am I alive?

>>18653116
It's a once in a lifetime opportunity to experience what this form of existence holds before we return from whence we came.

A brief little experience to add contrast, and perspective.

>>18653126
Fuck the experience.
I'm officially a mistake according to everyone I know.

>>18653129
What does that matter?
There are no mistakes in life. As I said, it's about experience.

You're putting too much weight into the opinions of those around you. They don't matter. You matter.

>>18653136
I don't matter, that's the thing.
I could dissappear and nobody would notice or care.
Ffs, even I don't care about myself.

>>18653142
How are others to care for you if you can't even care for yourself?

I think you just need to find yourself, Anon. Get away from all this crap that's keeping you down, and just explore yourself. Try new things, and find what you enjoy. Learn to love, and people will come to love you in turn.

>>18653149
There is no myself, I'm dead inside.
I feel dead already.
I just have to physically be it.
New things... what new things can you try while being jobless, almost homeless and friendless?

You fucking useless slut. Get up and take care of the kids you squeezed into this world. Take a bath and change your fucking underwear. Wash your goddamned feet. Clean your fucking house. I wouldn't be so angry about you taking so much dick if you could at least EARN a buck or two off of it. Use that gaping hole of yours for something other than Daddy's Little Girl role play. This is what you are showing your children. Do not wonder why those little fucks are so goddamned disobedient. You immediately put your son on medication for his bad behavior without actually trying to raise him. MY CHILD had to potty train your kid because you were far too busy fucking your husband's brother to be bothered with the responsibilities YOU put on YOURSELF. No, we are not ALL like this. Not all women are as fucking worthless and leeching, but fuck if you're not making it damned hard to maintain that argument. Work WITH me, you fucking vagrant whore, not AGAINST me. I cannot stand the skin you are printed on. I hope your children can grow and learn to do better.

>>18653158
Take everything you think you know, and just throw it in the garbage.

Get off the computer, go outside, lay in the grass, and just breathe.

Life isn't all this shit you think you know. Life isn't this shit you're worrying about. That's society. All these expectations, judgement, and labels. This isn't you. What people say to you isn't who you are. How people treat you isn't who you are. None of that matters. Forget expectation.

When you're tired, you sleep. When you're hungry, you eat. When you are thirsty, you drink. When you are bored, you set goals and take action.

It's not about having a job, having a home, or having friends. Those are all just a simple set of tools we use to achieve our needs. It is not the only means to an end. You're allowing yourself to be crushed by burdens of your own creation.

You're stressed, you're scared, you're lonely. I get that. That said, you must never rush that must be done quickly. If you take a single step at a time, things will improve.

Going outside of your comfort zone and getting a job can solve at least two of your problems, and cover all of your basic needs. With the burden of immediate needs taken off your chest, you will be able to actualize yourself, and take steps towards fulfilling your social, and spiritual needs.

Just one thing at a time, Anon. You can do it. Don't be afraid to take pride in those steps, no matter how small you may think they are. They're all moving you forward.

>>18653169
Coming from a borderline woman, they won't. Not unless their other family members OR everyone else helps raise the shits.

It's like a cuckoo bird, the mother couldn't give any less fucks while the other birds have to raise its huge spawn for it.
Either they do and make that bird better than its mom, or the chick dies and stops the cycle in a more harsh ending.

That cuckoo chick will forever be stunted in growth as he never had closure from his loser parents. Sure, everybirdy has been nice and helpful, and he's grateful...but because they were nutty parents, he's not well integrated into his world as every other chick is.

tl:dr: those kids will be fucked up forever. they might become successes, but they will always have issues.

>>18653177
Tell that to my abusive mother forcing me to find a job and every single time they don't hire me she yells "I knew you were a waste"
I know it's society but she just yelled at me rn because an argument and now she's going to kick me out because of it.
Please someone just kill me, I'm just a worthless thing that my mother had instead of a fucking Mercedes.
Well... looks like it ends here.
Sorry.

>>18653026
Can I fuck you to death as well?

>>18653213
Whatever you want.
I don't care

>>18653202
Your mother seems to have some sort of self hate and bitterness that she is taking out on you. Do not let her influence you. Step back and breathe. You're worth more than a Mercedes. She probably thinks that shitty behavior that she is putting forward will push you to do what she feels is right. Tune her out for the moment, Anon. Collect yourself and plan your steps forward in life.

>>18653202
I have a super hardcore fantasy where somebody approaches me, we start a nice relationship, I fuck them in every way possible, get them preggers one way or another, they have child, they then come to me and say, " We've seen all the things your penis can do. We've seen the pleasures and pain it can cause. We've seen it bring life. Yet there is one more thing; show me that it can take life.", and then I fuck them to death.

>>18653218
Anon I'm a guy so seek another one
>>18653216
Idk, and I can't bring myself to care.
Worst of all is that she wasn't the only one saying it.
My sister told to me it was legit(she's older than me) before she left.
My father told to me it was legit when I met him 8 years ago.
My grandma told me it was legit before dying... in my own hands.
I think I've ever loved grandma

>>18653223
My statement still stands. You did not put yourself here. You did not force your presence on your family. You're worth more than a Mercedes. Step back and breathe. Gather yourself and plan your next steps forward.

>>18653227
Okay...
But I'm going to sleep.
Tbh I seriously don't want to do anything at all...
But meh

That one morning you had sent me that text, the quote from Charlie and the Chocolate factory...

It made me really happy.

I wish that I could speak with you casually as we did back then. I imagine it was much more permissible for me to be socially awkward back in those days, but it's just rather pathetic now.

I know you probably wouldn't tell me off... I don't know, maybe that's a bit of the problem. When I ask you to be honest, you make it out as though I've no trust in you, as though I should be able to trust in such a way. I've just always gotten the feeling that you're more concerned with paying back some imaginary debt to me, or trying to help me overcome this awkwardness, than you are merely acknowledging what this all is. I feel like in a sense, you've kept me at an arms length, whereas you seem much closer with your other friends, even those with much less of an extensive history. Always insisting that I'm overthinking everything. It's sort of like you believe that I'm some child that simply wouldn't understand if you were to tell me. It hurts.

Maybe you never believed me. Maybe it isn't love. I don't know what to say. I know I shouldn't, but I still find my mind wandering to you on a near daily basis.

I think I just have to keep with it. Have faith that the decision I'm making is what is best for everybody. I'll be here, as always. You always find me. Your friend. The one you talk to every 6-12 months. The one who doesn't know you anymore.

>>18651436
It's true, I'm not that great of a guy. No real achievements. I have a mood disorder, an addictive personality and episodes of severe depressive episodes. I'm smart enough to learn everything I need to progress through life, but I either get too impatient or lazy to go through anything. Plus I'm no Brad Pitt. Which makes my status as an ideal partner even more slim.

File: IMG_0989.jpg (76KB, 800x449px) Image search: [Google]

76KB, 800x449px

Ok, this is the last explanation i can possibly come up with, if when im at my best in looks, using all the confidence i have and putting all my heart into it i still can't get a gf maybe i just have bad taste in girls

I mean the only othet option would be to punish myself even more or become a /r9k/ fag and blame society

As i have experienced the kind of girls i like will only see me as a back up plan/rebound guy in case the stupid tall blond green eyes guy or the emo bad boy rejects them

My mormon friend who looks 10 timed nerdier than me still managed to get a gf... a really trashy uncultured gf, but still he was happy, why can't i ever just accept things and be happy i always have to be number one and get exactly what i want or i fight till the very end until i break again

I just wish for once thing could be simple, i just want to find a girl that likes me and that's it no need to go out of my way pouring my heart out again hoping that i don't end up in second place again

Why the fuck did you do that behind my back , WHY the fuck did you text random dudes on tinder when I was next to you . YOU were supposed to be MY Girlfriend -- someone that I could trust, someone that I gave my heart too and you just shredded it into peices and I kept giving you chances even now I want to give you another chance .. I want everything to get back to how it was in highschool - the sweet, mysterious, quiet girl. What happened to her.. you ended up becoming like every other girl on tinder the ones that you used to make fun of.

Fuck you

>>18651239
emetophobia isn't fun

I hope I haven't scared you away.

>>18651892
No anon. Not her.
Rest your mind for this isn't for you.

>>18653260
So... I just woke up being in panic.
Idk why but I just can't relax, I'm so fucking fucked, not even the worst jobs in my town wanted me...
Fuck fuck fuck.

File: maxresdefault (2).jpg (44KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 1280x720px

I already miss you.
We hardly got to know each other but the month we shared was the best one I have had in a long time.
I know you'll drop by every now and then, and I understand that you have to so this for your education. I do love that ambition of yours, regardless of where it may apply.
You made my nights more special with the time you shared with me and as you told me you had to get going, I wanted to say stay. But, you have important thing to do, I don't want to be in way.
You told me that you didn't deserve someone like me? What makes me so special? When I was with you I felt the same way about you. You're a bit asocial as I am, but when you told me that I was one of the better people out here, I cried a little as I smiled. That alone meant the world to me, that I meant something to someone so wonderful.
I, without you, will be as the night sky without it's moon.

I really do miss you.
I wish you luck. I hope things go well for you, and please remember I will be here for you.
Fly wherever your wings can carry you my beautiful little songbird, soar. But, I ask, that every once in while, that you come back and sing for me.

When I get super depressed, the only thing stopping me from attempting suicide is the thought of my family who I know love me. I don't want to hurt them because I love them too.
Sometimes I've wished that they didn't exist so I wouldn't feel any guilt about killing myself.

>>18649111
you can probably get your dick sucked but fix that early 2000's justin timberlake haircut/beard first, also I like your eyes

File: 1485020412761.jpg (140KB, 464x818px) Image search: [Google]

140KB, 464x818px

>>18649769
>tfw I'm A and I know an H who wants us to be better friends

>>18650919
which one

I care about you as a person. I'd like for us to talk in person again. If you're feeling suicidal please reach out. Losing you to your own hand would ruin me. Keep your head up

>>18652605
yes

>>18653780
What's the background to this anon?

File: 1502311474821.jpg (55KB, 804x535px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 804x535px

>There was a girl I had a crush on in high school
>Never made a move on her, she probably didn't know I existed
>Many years later
>Check her online photos
>She got married pretty much right after high school
>Got a kid too
>Meanwhile I haven't even lost my hand holding virginity
>Masturbate to pictures of her pregnant belly
Why am I so pathetic?

You have won society. You beat me. I get it, understand now. You moved me to a predominantly white neighborhood because my dad lost his job. You then took him away from me by giving him two strokes. You made me mentally unstable from the long time abuse of being picked on by black kids for not being black enough and by white kids for being a nigger or an oreo. I took punches to the face from both sides. You got my ass locked up in a mental ward when I was ready to strike back with a gun. Lucky, Everyone just thought I was suicidal and I talked my way out of before you could mindrape me with your "happy pills" Screwed me out of all of my hopes and dreams, and I couldn't do anything to stop you because you made the whole game of life based around a dollar. You gave me a shitty job that I hate and now all my managers want to fire me.

You can blame me all you want, but i didnt ask for this. I didn't ask for this life.
Now im gonna fix this for myself. Im smart, strong and willing. im gonna turn my life around with my own two hands. And one you see me finally get an inch, youre not gonna believe an African American could break out of the steretypes and live a happy life. Fuck you, America.

>>18653961
Good luck, Anon. You'll get it done.

God I want you so bad this is scary. I can't wait to meet you again.

you're telling me a 3ds with 2 extremely popular games can't sell for $80?

Are you fucking kidding me? It's so fucking obvious that this is all fake.

>>18651890
I really want a child. The only thing that I have truly wanted out of life was to be a wife and mother, but my bf are I waiting until we are ready money wise. We are still young, and I am not the slimy type of woman to trap him with a child. I would feel terrible bringing a child into this world out of life selfishness.