How do i deal with this ? This shits is really taking a toll on my studies since i cant get past a difficult problem without getting stuck with it until i do it and this is making me get behind lessons. It's like a voice in my head saying i can't do it and i get myself constantly trying to prove myself to my own fucking mind...
Step one is develop some self respect. Self respect comes from doing things you know are respectable. So find something you can do that you also respect and do it. Step two is developing confidence in your ability. Once you realize that you can do those things, and as you do them you can develop some confidence in your abilities, and by extension yourself. Then you repeat those steps with slightly more difficult things, building yourself up in small incremental steps.