I ate some very spicy hot wings and now I am having a hell of a time with my shits man. The pain is almost unbearable. My anus has actually torn open to some degree and is bleeding considerably. That, coupled with the fact I ate the hottest wings possible and that spicy sauce is getting in those open wounds, is almost too much to handle physically.
I have to poop right now, and in fact should probably wipe, but my anus is so tender that any sort of touch sends my nerves into overdrive.
wat do
Take shower
can you get to the drug store real quick?
first and foremost buy some flushable wet wipes. dont wait for an emergency to have em, why not use em daily? your anus deserves the same comfort you allow the rest of your body.
you can also buy an anal douche. just make sure you lube it up extra good. dont just stab it in to your hole. the best you can do is lay back in the shower, have the nozzle lubed and filled with water and ready to go, and life your legs. start by gentling massaging around the anus with a lubed finger, and just kinda massage it in circles. it will eventually open up. THEN Stick the nozzle in, and put the water in.
your poop will slide out with a very minor cool burn. Afterwards use wet wipes to clean, or take a shower after. Always use wet wipes to clean your anus, and then use a fragrance free moisturizer to stop it from drying out.
and like the other anon said, if wiping hurts too much and you cannot get to the drug store, just poop and then take a shower.
>>18645875
This seems silly, but I have a moral issue against the regular use of wet wipes in modern society. They clog up our sewer systems very badly because they don't decompose like toilet paper does, costing cities (the taxpayers) billions of dollars to extract. They extracted a shit ball from the London sewers that was the size of a whale somewhat recently that costed the city a bunch of money.
Anyway, I might do the anal douche thing. My pride and sense of moral integrity went out the window as soon as that sauce hit those open sores. Thanks.
>>18645896
really? even the flushable ones? seems like they'd have to rebrand after that shit (no pun intended). either way id call this a not so regular situation so go ahead and use them until your anus has healed.
after accutane im prone to hemmeroids and my ass gets easily wounded, so im sticking with them for life.
>>18645903
yeah, even the flushable ones. calling them flushable is a clever marketing tactic to make you think they're environmentally friendly, when really they're not. Lots of things are technically flushable. Tampons. Golf balls. Cardboard. But not all of them actually degrade upon contact with water. Unfortunately, wet wipes are a part of the "flushable, but not bio-degradable" group. Fuck my ass hurts.
>>18645912
haha sorry man. I'll look into trying to find the most bio friendly kind I can get, but legit toilet paper is going to make me have monthly visits for hemmeroid issues for sure.
good luck though.
>>18645920
i'm not shaming you or anything, i'm just letting you know. if you have a legitimate medical reason, then it's definitely cool, but a majority of people use it because it feels good on their asshole. not everyone can do it or society crumbles. just like heroin addicts if there's a few it's not a big deal, but if it's half your population then your baby will probably pick up a syringe and put it in his mouth like a pacifier at some point. i think i might die
>>18645929
please dont die anon, I'll massage your anus gently so the enema goes in nicely.
>>18645938
that was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, thanks man <3
>>18645941
I've got your back bro. even that really low part of it.