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I'm just gonna vomit my life story here because i have nothing else to do for the next couple of hours.
So, last year both my parents died from cancer, broke up with gf of 3 years,and my job brought me to work on an island(coast guard officer) for at least 3 years. Everything was fine, i was finally living alone, i had my friends here, i found places to do kickboxing and bjj which are my hobbies and best of all,right next door to me lived my coworker.
The greatest girl i ever met.Extremely friendly,hot,full of energy, always up to do stuff, sweet, actually probed me to find out my problems and a million other things. We started hanging out first by working out together,then i helped her with an assignment, then we got closer and closer and started having sex. She said she already had a boyfriend even though things weren't going that well with him, and we shouldn't do that, but i couldn't. We kept having sex, we got closer and closer,we would sleep together,talk all night,basically i was living a dream and i didn't care about anything she said because i knew she liked me too, even though she said we shouldn't be together, because how could she not like me if we were so close?
Few months pass and one day she doesn't let me touch her, says i should find someone else, and that she met some guy and they'll go out. I was furious. She wasn't ready for a relationship with ME, but ready for some random guy who didn't even know her. I told her that she used me to get her confidence back up after her last bf ditched her, and now that summer is here she throws me away.She got pissed at this, but later that night she invited me to her house and we had sex again. We cut off all contact again.
One day we were talking on facebook and i made a joke which was a bit crass and she got pissed off again. I told her that if she is gonna get pissed off at everything i say and she doesn't want to be with me, i want absolutely nothing to do with her.
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>>18640567
She told me that i'm not in love with her even if i said i was, that because of my lack of experience of women i got stuck with her(i did admit i only had 1 gf before at 28 years of age at some point) and that i'm acting like a pussy,that she went off one relationship and wants to live her life, and i should find someone else. She mellowed out later and told me that she can't understand why we can't be just friends, i told her i wouldn't be able to see her with someone else and said that i don't want to do anything with her. I blocked her from facebook and everything and stopped speaking to her.
This has gone on for a month and i literally suffer everyday.She lives next door from me.We work together. I always think i'll hear her fucking next door. I keep remembering all the fun times we had together, not just the sex, she was the only girl i could actually talk to about interesting stuff.To make things worse, we have common friends too so i inevitably bump into her in social situations. I started speaking to her again when i meet her in these situations, just friendly chatter, and i feel elated the rest of the day jsut because i talked to her. I'm thinking of unblocking her and start inviting her to stuff i do like kitesurfing and shooting and shit and i know i shouldn't because i'll be defeated once again. I feel so fucking alone, i travel to a new island every week and i can't find joy in anything. I work out like 4 hours a day just to get an endorphine rush. I hit on every girl i see unsucessfuly because i'm only doing it so i can fuck her and have her hear it to get jealous and i come off as desperate.
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Leave it, roasties will be roasties. Find someone else.
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>>18640602
What the fuck should i do. I can't move on. Nothing helps. I have 0 sucess on dating sites due to small population and my face isn't that attractive.I'm content with my life so far, i have the job i want, i live alone, i make good money, i have friends to go out, all i could think of improving is entering a special forces school but there aren't accepting applicants right now.I know self improvement helps but i don't feel like it. I just want to be with her. I keep thinking i'll talk to her and she'll change her mind and she'll be back but i know even if that happens i have to say no because she has probably fucked a ton of other guys in the meantime. I can't find someone else because i'm not really good with women and the fact i'm desperate to find someone only makes it worse.
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>>18640611
Stop interacting with her outside of work you idiot. That's what you get for messing with a cheater in the first place. And there's a reason why people say "don't fall in love with your co-workers". Forget her, find some more hobbies and start over again.
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>>18640626
How can i do that? I just talk to her the same amount i talk to everyone else in my group, maybe less so. But everytime i talk to her my face lights up and we laugh together and i feel like a happy idiot again.
Also she didn't cheat on her ex, she was dating this 21 year old (she is 30) and they broke up due to distance and he immediately found someone else and she was crying over this. A fucking 21 year old can make her cry and obsess over him and me at 29 years of age can't even make 1 girl interested in me. It really destroys my confidence. I'm getting old and i never even fucked around. I wasted my life.
And there aren't many girls here. I don't meet many people outside of work and every other girl in work is engaged. I wish i could i could return to my life of neetdom where i masturbated worked out and played lol all day but i can't even find the motivation to masturbate or play videogames anymore. All i do is go to work, sleep, workout and hang out with my friends.
I'm gonna get a motorcycle licence and pick up the guitar again. Might impress someone.
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>>18640626
Also should i unblock her? I mean if i can keep it friendly with her it shows im over her and that's alpha, right? Isn't all that blocking pretty autistic? If i can see her with someone else on fagbook and not care i'm alpha?
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>>18640687
Only unblock her if you are fucking someone else
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