No matter how hard I try, I feel like I'm never doing well enough. I've been working out and eating plenty and healthy for the last 2 years, but I'm still small. I've practiced composition since ninth grade, but I feel and know that my music is still lackluster. I spend hours working for very little success. Shit like that.
The only thing that I rely on to make me feel good is music and running, but this just keeps going on and on
I know how do you fell, man, it's really shitty. No mater how hard I tried to change my life, that same ol' felling comes back, that emptiness, that feel of life being without a point, is fucking sad and horrible, fuck I tried to find some objective or meaning and still I fell empty and sad.
>>18638950
You have negative self beliefs ingrained into you from childhood. These negative beliefs such as always judging yourself as inadequate generate negative emotions every time you validate them and if you don't deal with those emotions when they initially come up then they can get repressed and build up/become more intense. Your emotions are telling you there's something wrong with the way you're living, it's up to you to figure out what that is.
>>18638950
how do you work out? and how many pounds are in your weights?
also, if youre so sad shouldnt your music be more for people to listen to while they are sad
>>18638950
Therapy.
Can't afford it? Google search 'low fee therapy' in your city/area. Nervous talking face to face with someone or meeting a professional in person? Check out online therapists, such as TalkSpace.
>>18638950
Now you understand part of the motivation behind the events in fight club. Welcome to that crushing feeling of mediocrity. Welcome to being the large majority of stories that those "success stories" about hard work leave out.
I hope you enjoy your stay. It'll only last your entire existence :)