Am I an asshole or is this normal?

What did she tell you to do? You aren't really giving us much info. It sounds like you just don't want to bother being there for her, but I'm assuming it's because you haven't given many details.

>>18638945
I mean, I like her and she knows I like her which is part of the reason. She gave me something along the lines of "I want you to comfort me and hug me and tell me he's no good for me". I told her that's how it works and I'm not one of her girlfriends. I'd like to be friends and not have her give me a list of commands.

>>18638962
>I'd like to be friends
What she asked you to do was to treat her how she'd expect her friends to treat her. Don't say you want to be friends then complain when her expectations are that of a friend.

>>18639001
Ok but isn't it an unspoken rule to treat friends a certain way? Why does she feel the need to explain this to me?

>>18639007
Because you're not acting as a friend should

>>18639014
But she said I was... now I'm just confused. Goddammit.

>>18639007
Because your posts make it seem like you need to have it explained to you? You don't seem like the sort to rely on your empathy in a pinch.

>>18639036
Or, I will add, maybe she just needed to say that stuff out loud, which is therapeutic in its own way. If you would be on board with it when the time came, you could have just said "OK" for now. How do you really feel about doing the things she asked of you, though?

>>18639055
I forgot to add the detail where she did tell me I already comfort and reassure her, but her explaining what she needs makes me feel like she's taking a mile when I give her an inch. Maybe used? And the thing with her boyfriend, I felt really disrespected considering she's aware that I like her.

>>18639099
What made her bring up contingency protocols were her boyfriend to break up, in the first place? Really, if there is anything at all you can add to give context to the situation and a more complete picture, it would be good.

Ok, it seems like she is using you as a fall back. If she knows you like her, she shouldn't be telling you what to do if she breaks up with her bf. I like that you are strong about your boundaries (inch/mile). I think you did fine. Girls respect a guy standing his ground even if she reacted like she was on her period. Only weakness I am seeing in you is doubting yourself. Dont let her see that. Stay strong. If she wants something more than a friend would give, she is most welcome to BE more than a friend with you.

>>18639178
>>18639217
We were talking about how sensitivity plays a role in peoples' lives. She mentioned her need for comfort and I argued how you can't expect it from anyone and everyone and used the boyfriend thing as an example as what she expects from me. Eventually, in that conversation, she said something that blew me away:
>Her: Are you telling me you wouldn't change for anyone?
>Me: NO!
>Her: I-I would change for you!
Her voice was shaking and then the conversation just died down after that. That just took me aback. I don't understand why she said that. She's also weirdly adamant about preparing me for "The One" and brings up relationships a lot to me.

I'm not too familiar with being a Fall Back. Is that a bad thing? It doesn't seem like it is, on the surface. Although being someone's plan b doesn't sound appealing.

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>>18639255
>Her voice was shaking and then the conversation just died down after that. That just took me aback. I don't understand why she said that. She's also weirdly adamant about preparing me for "The One" and brings up relationships a lot to me.
You are either setting this up to be a plug for your next lovey dovey manga release, or this is something that actually happened. I can't tell you what you think, man. You tell me.

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>>18639329
When I say shaking, I mean she sounded like she was hurt and about to cry. Here's a snippet of a conversation we had over text.

>>18639860
I saw this thread the other day

>prepping for "the one"

She's grooming you. She's making sure you will act/treat her exactly the way she wants you to if/when she ever breaks up or gets dumped and needs a rebound.

Honestly I would drop contact with her. She knows you like her and she's keeping you on a hook, making you feel guilty by saying "b-but that's what friends do!"

That or just stop liking her. Straight up tell her you want to remain friends, but no longer have any romantic feelings for her.

See her reaction to that. She will be quite upset that her contingency plan fell apart and the truth will come out to you

>>18639860
>it comes naturally [to her]

>["the One"] is a girl and therefore might play mind games just naturally

She is so unsubtle. Literally telling you she is "the one" so you stay hooked.

Drop her OP

>>18638962
It's safe to assume that she wants your dick.

>>18640064
>>18640071
Geez. When you put it like that, it's starting to make sense. How can you be sure? We've been good friends mostly, otherwise. In the past, she's been really nice. It's only recently she's been doing things more like this. That's the one thing that's stopping me from dropping her.

>>18638940
She's using you. Dump her and find someone better.

>>18640382
Self-Bumping so I can get a response for this.

>>18638940
Sounds like you are feeling guilty in your breaking of the bro code.

>>18642121
You know what? Yeah. I feel stupid for letting this happen but I've never been in a situation quite like this.

>>18642141
if you don't like the situation get out of it
if you do double down and get as much as you can from her

>>18638940

You're missing a lot of context. The first part of your statement only half makes sense. Sometimes it isn't reasonable to expect reassurance and comfort in dealing with situations and sometimes it is. Whether or not the expectation is reasonable is not the point. The point is that characterizing every human urge for reassurance and validation as selfish, regardless of context, is stupid. People need reassurance. No, it isn't logical sometimes but neither is human emotion. Either you were willfully ignorant of that fact because you wanted to make her feel bad or you were just ignorant in general.

The second half of your post doesn't make any sense. You vaguely mentioned some instruction she has concerning a break up with vague boyfriend, said "thats bullshit" and never bothered to give us any details.

As to your question "what the fuck?" our answer is "no idea". You gave us a story without details or context and, if the hapless and mindless manner in which you told us this story is at all similar to the way you talk to her, chances are this whole thing is your fault.

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Here's your answer, I used to be her when I was a 17 year old pretentious piece of shit who thought I could get any guy I wanted.

She wants to fuck you. She doesn't want to be with her "boyfriend" anymore. Fun fact, no quotations are required because that is her boyfriend. Not some long time friend. Shes only saying its a long time friend so you dont get scared off because of the bro code. See?

Here are your options.
If you want to be with her, reassure her that you're not going to leave when she breaks it off with her ""boyfriend"" she looks at like a beta and tell her to leave him for you.
If you dont want to be with her.
Tell her to honestly just fuck off and then leave her and never speak to her again.

She isnt going to stop pestering you with the boyfriend-like tasks she wants you to do and she will never be just your friend. She will constantly flirt with you and if you dont give in she'll get bored, leave, and find someone else to pester.

>>18642195
Also cont.

She started getting mad because you wouldnt give into her manipulative ways of the vagina.

>>18642162
Well I didn't want give my whole life story, I was attempting to give as little to gain greater understanding. That's my bad. I'm definitely ignorant. I don't want to hurt anyone but I'm way too blunt.

I'm seriously unsure as to what more information I could put down, I don't know what else you want to know. I thought my comments to peoples' questions could suffice. Did you read the full thread?

>>18642195
Huh. If this is the case, I'm one dense motherfucker. She's been genuinely kind to me before this happened. Only things are, how do I not look Beta when reassuring her and how in the hell do I ask her to just leave someone she has a greater bond with?