Boyfriend is into rough, violent like sex

My best guess is to introduce lewd texting that leads to what ever you want out of this. It might be an easier transition.

I mean, you could just talk about it in person, but you haven't done that already

>>18638876
I have though, i asked him for tips based on the bootycall chick and that i wanted it, but he kinda looked at me and was like ". . .no" and told me the above reasons.
I just want things that i can say or do dyring the act that may spark something
Like, just today i got him going enough to where he rammed my ass over the bed, whereas normally he would ask and ease his way in. Im also trying to get him to throat fuck me, but i need to practice that a bit more based on my performance last time
I'll definitely try the texting thing, probably sext him rough sex lines?

I just want to push him a liiiitle bit
To show that i actually enjoy what he fantasizes about, and to ease him into feeling okay about doing it with me
His previous relationships aside from the booty call all turned this down and were totally uninterested, so hes not used to someone not judging him for it i think

>>18638902
You've been with him a little over a year. Introduce a little honesty into your relationship, honey

>>18638892
They don't even have to be that rough. Does he even understand that you want sex as much as he does? From what you're writing, it seems like he's volunteering for being a beta, excuse my language.

Just remind him that you want to be taken. And then push the limits of what he expects from you. Have fun, and don't rush anything.

>>18638922
Thats a good point
Thing is, this is sorta new to me
My previous relationships have been really fucked up, and i honesty thought i was asexual because of my absolutely 0 libido towards all of them.
Noe im with my current partner and my repressed urges have gone sky high, but obly in the past fee months, and especually now after getting a bit of a taste, if that makes sense. I probably am trying to rush it too much, thank you for helping me realize that lol
He knew me ex, and also knew that we never had sex. Hes said before that its not a big deal, because he loves me, but now i feel a crave thats never satiated so ive been pushing a little too hard.

>>18638859
>i also dont know if i can be mean enough to him without being ingenuine
I take your meaning here to be "I can't be a cruel bitch to get him to hatefuck me because I love him and it'd feel too much like acting". To which I would reply, if it triggers him to fuck you the way you want, who cares if it's an act?

Why don't you just spell out in no uncertain terms the kind of graphic fucking you want from him, then imply he's not man enough to give it to you till he rocks your world.

This really doesn't seem difficult.

>>18638952
Also a good point, while i feel i cant get the urge personally, a friend suggested roleplay to get passed that?
Part of this is that he doesnt look for that sort of attitude in our relationship, and while he has these fantasies still, enjoys that I am bot like that. So maybe roleplay would be a way to seperate the sexual acts vs. Our actual attitudes/character?

Im mostly thinking aloud, sorry if it comes off as weird

>>18638959
So helpful
Thank

>>18638951
Any time.

You found a guy who attracts you. You never had that before. Now you want to explore your sexuality. Seems healthy. Just be honest, and don't play games like >>18638959 tells you to. But acting, like >>18638952 is not the same. Could work.

Just like exploring physical limits in relationships can feel intimidating, so is honesty, vulnerability, etc. When mixed up in a caring, tender loving relationship, this stuff can get quite powerful. It's okat for you both to be unsure, but open communication will be your release.

>>18638859
You don't understand the essence of BDSM play - that it is play. It's a game that you both choose to play because it's sexually exciting for both of you. In 90% of cases it has nothing to do with your actual relationship.

That means that if, for example, you both say sometime during the day "Let's get a little rough tonight" his slapping you is not an act of violent aggression, but a caress of a different sort. If it makes you both excited for him to call you bitch or slut, then that is something you're both playing at because it's fun. It does not mean he thinks of you as a slut or is a woman-beater.

It is not only possible, but it is the norm for BDSM couples to be sincerely sweet and lovey-dovey sometimes and rough-play other times, depending on the erotic mood they're in.

In short, as long as you both know it's a game and you both enjoy it, his "raping" you is a loving act.

>>18638859
Sometimes it's tricky to get people to loosen up and click with them on that level. I've been through something similar before. One girl I met found out I liked rough degrading dom sub kind of play, like calling a girl names and rough using her. For us then, it was simple, we both knew we wanted it and just did it.

Another gf I dated I did a bit of rough play with, but she was very quiet about what she wanted and we were very close otherwise. It was hard to tell what she wanted and so it was hard to figure out if she would be interested in different things.

Maybe you could have him text rp some scenes you like, it's easier to let loose at first when it doesn't feel real. You really need to know each other's turn on and boundries a little more exactly so you can get comfortable.

I mean you need to know if they are into roughness, what extent, name calling or degrading, to what extent. Any other fantasies or kinks and the level of those as well.

Personally I have a kink for degrade using a girl while she pretends she's younger, and that's very touchy and has strong boundries with each person.

>>18638859

You could get some kind of collar or black latex/leather mask to put on

When you take that on, you are showing yourself to be his slave in the moment

Tie the kinkyness to physical objects so you have clearly defined boundaries, so he won't get rough with you when you are not in the mood for it.

BDSM is very much about respecting limits, or else it basically turns into rape and bad things

Source: I was in a relationship with someone I had originally only had BDSM sex with. It was very very strange because the boundaries were not clear and we both got mixed signals from each other all the time, and it hurt the relationship which I ended eventually.

>>18638859

Take this post and mail it to him. Or give him the link